Crappy Poem Theater
by Cherry Blossom
Summary: It's Back. It's Bold. It's...really, really hentai. D.H. Lawrence is next on the chopping block for our CPTers after a long hiatus. TURTLE POWER!
1. Crappy Poem Theater 1

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book. 

Cherry Blossom: *looks up. Takes pipe out of her mouth.* Good evening.

Matteo: *whispers* You can't have any unauthorized pop-culture references.

Cherry Blossom: Why not?

Matteo: We don't have any money to pay for them.

Cherry Blossom: Then put up a disclaimer.

Matteo: Disclaimer?

Cherry Blossom: Look just tell them that I don't own squat and this is only for entertainment purposes.

Matteo: Gothcha. *runs off*

Cherry Blossom: *sighs* Anyway, welcome to the show. Some of you are probably wondering what the hell is going on….

Duo: What the hell is going on?

Cherry Blossom: Shut up. You don't come on until later.

Duo: But—

Cherry Blossom: Go away!

Duo: *grumbles* 

Cherry Blossom: *clears throat* Anyway…my English teacher, the dreaded Mr.Thorp, *holds up picture of English teacher with devil's horns and a goatee painted on* has decided that he must shower the class with crappy poetry. Some of you may have already witnessed this in my MSTing of the poem, "Dearest Andrea" by Keith.

Duo: *groans* Don't mention that poem ever again.

Cherry Blossom: Didn't I tell you to get lost?

Duo: ……

Cherry Blossom: So, since I now must read and critique a collection of truly horrible poetry I have decided to let the G-Boyz share in my torture by creating a whole theater devoted to the MSTing of crappy poetry. I call it "Crappy Poetry Theater".

Duo: *snorts* How original.

Cherry Blossom: *reaches over and smacks Duo in the back of the head*

Duo: Itai!

Matteo: Cherry, we've got the disclaimer ready.

Cherry Blossom: Well put it up!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Duo: Wow. That was weak.

Cherry Blossom: Couldn't we jazz it up a little or something?

Matteo: Um…

Disclaimer: I own nothing. So there.

Cherry Blossom: *sigh* Never mind. Let's just get on with the show. 

The scene cuts to a large, darkened theater where 5 figures are sitting.

Quatre: Did Cherry tell you why we're supposed to be here?

Duo: Uh….no….

Wufei: What is that onna up to now? The last time we were in something like this I had to listen to some stupid poem.

Quatre: I'm sure it won't be anything like that this time.

Duo: *choking noises*

Wufei: Problem, Maxwell?

Duo: *cough* Nope *cough*

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of thin air* Hiyee guys!

Wufei: What's this all about, onna?

Cherry Blossom: *pouts* What kind of a greeting is that?

Heero: Why are we here?

Cherry Blossom: Well….I thought you guys could help me out with my homework.

Trowa: Homework?

Quatre: Like math?

Cherry Blossom: Actually it's…..POETRY! 

crash of thunder and lightning

Cherry Blossom: *glares* Who did that?

Matteo: *from the sound effects room* Sorry.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Cherry Blossom: C'mon guys, it's only a couple of poems. If I have to suffer, you have to suffer.

Trowa: Who made up that rule?

Matteo: Actually it says so in the otaku writer's book of rules and privileges. Page 64 line 7. *shows Trowa the book*

Trowa: Damn.

Cherry Blossom: See? So let's get started. Today's featured poet is *drum roll* Alfred Austin!

G-Boyz: Yay.

Cherry Blossom: He wrote an epic poem called "The Human Tragedy".

Matteo: Which it was.

Cherry Blossom: The original is something like 20 pages long—

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: But I decided to cut it down to just one page….

G-Boyz: Phew.

Cherry Blossom: 'Cause I only wanted the really crappy parts. Some of the others stuff wasn't half bad.

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: Matteo is going to be our reader.

G-Boyz: *glare at Matteo*

Matteo: *takes a nervous step back* Hey, don't shoot the messenger.

Cherry Blossom: So without further ado, The Human Tragedy. 

Heero: We're gonna get you for this, Cherry.

Matteo: *clears throat*

__

The Human Tragedy

Duo: We know. Just get it over with already.

__

But the fleet hours pass pitilessly fleeter,

Wufei: This poem is pitiless.

Quatre: Is fleeter a word.

Duo: Guess so.

__

Or where, half-sadly warbling as it went,

Trowa: How do you warble half-sadly?

Duo: Like this**. ***makes a weird moose in heat call*

Cherry Blossom: Stop that! I don't any horny mooses hanging around the theater.

Quatre: Mooses?

Cherry Blossom: Okay, moose. 

__

Like a boy-poet's happy discontent

Wufei: Happy discontent?

Heero: It's called an oxymoron.

Duo: This poet's an oxy-moron.

__

…

G-Boyz: *stare*

Heero: What the hell was that?

Cherry Blossom: Oh, that just means I left a part out.

__

The stiff wain creaks 'neath the nodding wheat;

Quatre: What's a wain?

English teacher: *appears out of thin air* Look _that_ up in your Funkin Wagnall.

Everybody: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

English teacher: *disappears*

Matteo: Sorry. He was in the last fic. I forgot that he was in here.

Quatre: That was scary.

Cherry Blossom: Let's just get back to the poem.

Trowa: I looked up what 'wain' means.

Heero: Well, what is it?

Trowa: It's a cart or wheel-barrow.

Duo: Then why couldn't he just _say_ that?

Cherry Blossom: You're asking me? 

__

Flit, yaffel, flit from tree to tree.

Everybody: 0_o

Heero: The author has gone _insane_.

Duo: I want out of here now!

Cherry Blossom: Maybe it's only a temporary thing.

Trowa: Wouldn't count on it.

__

And the acorn drops at your dreaming feet,

Quatre: Do feet dream?

Duo: Actually I think there was a study being done on that at—

Heero: Duo?

Duo: Yes?

Heero: Shut it.

Duo: *shuts up*

__

Flit, yaffel, flit from tree to tree.

Cherry Blossom: Ohmigod, it's back!

Quatre: Save us!

Heero: *eyes get that zero look* Must…stop….torture….

Duo: Uh…Heero?

__

The whimpering winds have lost their way,

Wufei: And this is relevant to the poem, how?

Trowa: Wufei, nothing in this poem is relevant.

Heero: Must…stop…it….

Duo: Hold it together Heero. It's almost over.

__

Scream, yaffel, scream from tree to tree.

Heero: That's it! *takes out his gun and points it at Matteo*

Matteo: *shrieks like a girl and runs off stage*

Duo: *grabs Heero's arm* No, wait! It's over, it's done now. No more poem. See?

Heero: It's….over?

Duo: Yeah. It's all over now.

Trowa: That was terrible.

Quatre: No shit, sherlock. *covers his mouth with his hands* Did I just say that?

Trowa: Look at what you've done to Quatre!

Quatre: I'm scarred for life.

Cherry Blossom: And there's more poems next week, too. Worse ones.

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Quatre: I think I'm going to be ill.

Heero: Omeo o korosu. *points gun at Cherry*

Cherry Blossom: Uh…Matteo? A little help here?

G-Boyz: *advance on Cherry Blossom* 

Cherry Blossom: Roll the credits! Roll the credits! 

Cherry Blossom: Thank you for watching Crappy Poetry Theater. Please leave a review if you would like the show to continue. 

Heero: Don't leave a review. We want the show to be canceled.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up! Pay no attention to that psycho in the spandex. 

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: If you would like to submit a crappy poem write to [chibicherryb@hotmail.com][1]. 

Heero: If you submit a crappy poem I will kill you.

Cherry Blossom: No he won't.

Heero: Yes I will.

Cherry Blossom: Won't.

Heero: Will.

Cherry Blossom: WON'T.

Heero: WILL.

Cherry Blossom: Okay, he will….

Heero: *walks away*

Cherry Blossom: Not.

Heero: I heard that.

Cherry Blossom: *sweatdrops* Uh…gotta go! Jaa!!!

   [1]: mailto:chibicherryb@hotmail.com



	2. Crappy Poem Theater 2

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book. 

Cherry Blossom: *looks up* Oh hiyee, minna! So glad you could join us for another episode of Crappy Poem Theater.

Duo: NO! Run for your lives! Get out now!

Cherry Blossom: *whaps him on the head with the book*

Duo: Itai!

Cherry Blossom: *smiles brightly* Thanks for all the reviews. They were very much appreciated.

Heero: I will kill you all.

Cherry Blossom: Ah, pay no attention to him. He says that all the time about Relena but has he killed her yet? Noooo….

Heero: I'll make an acception.

Cherry Blossom: So many people have shown their support for this program *sniff* Cold Dragon—

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Cherry Blossom: Shinigami Baby—

Wufei: INJUSTICE! ONNA! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?

Cherry Blossom: Anika—

Heero: Omeo o korosu. Twice.

Cherry Blossom: Parvaneh—

Quatre: Why? *sniff* Why?

Cherry Blossom: Trowa Girl—

Trowa: I thought you loved me. 

Cherry Blossom: Mystraidr—

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Duo: Wow, Heero. You're going to be busy. Where will you find the time to kill all these people?

Heero: I'll make the time.

Cherry Blossom: Shush. I'm not finished.

Trowa: *horror* Oh god, there's more?

Cherry Blossom: Ami, Kiyone—

Heero: I know where you live.

Duo: Do you really?

Heero: No… 

Cherry Blossom: Lucky and Nina 

Wufei: Stupidonnasmakingusreviewstupidpoetryfortheunjustenglishteacher.

Cherry Blossom: Sabacat— 

Duo: *sob* I was supposed to be your favorite! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaagh! 

Cherry Blossom: Hawk—

Trowa: How many more are there?

Cherry Blossom: Two. CLS and Caro-chan. Thanks ever so much you guys!

Heero: We hope you all die.

Wufei: Painfully. 

Cherry Blossom: Shut up. Anyway, we've gotten a better looking disclaimer this time….Matteo! Cue the disclaimer!

Matteo: Cueing disclaimer…now!

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Except you. Dance for me, slave.

Duo: O_0

Cherry Blossom: Uh…I'll fix it later. Let's just get on with the fic.

Scene cuts to the theater where five familiar figures are seated.

Wufei: Give me the popcorn, Maxwell!

Duo: NO! MINE!

Wufei: GIVE IT!

Quatre: You guys shouldn't be fighting.

Duo: Shut up, Quatre.

Quatre: *eyes go all zero-y*

Trowa: Uh oh. You shouldn't have done that…

Quatre: DIEEEEE!!!! *reaches over to strangle Duo*

Duo: YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!! *tries to hide behind Heero*

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of thin air* Hiyee guys! Ready for another crappy poem?

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: YEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! MATTEO! YOU'RE ON!

Matteo: *comes out on stage in a hokey Elizabethan costume…with TIGHTS* Trowa Girl loves me. *sigh*

Cherry Blossom: *rolls eyes* Thanks a lot C-chan. Now he's got a swelled head.

Matteo: *pouts* Do not.

Cherry Blossom: Anyway, today's poem is really bad. In fact, it's been named as the worst poem in the world.

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: I know. I'm excited too. Let's get started.

Matteo: *clears throat*

__

A Tragedy

Quatre: Wasn't that what the last poem was called?

Cherry Blossom: Nooo…that was the _Human_ Tragedy.

Heero: Mention that again and I'll kill you.

Trowa: Are all these poems tragedies?

Wufei: *with feeling* Yes.

__

By Theophile Marzials

Duo: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! CHILD MOLESTER!! KILLITKILLITKILLITKILLITKILLIT!!!

Cherry Blossom: It's _Theophile_ not _Pedophile_. 

Wufei: Same difference.

__

Death!

Duo: Yes?

Cherry Blossom: Not you.

Duo: *pouts*

__

Plop.

Everybody: O_0

Duo: Ex_cuse_ me?

Trowa: I have a really bad feeling about this one.

Heero: You should trust your feelings.

__

The barges down in the river flop.

Quatre: How can barges flop?

Trowa: Just smile and nod, Quatre.

Quatre: But—

Trowa: Smile and nod.

__

Flop, plop,

Wufei: Nataku save me! 

Heero: *starts to get that zero look in his eyes*

Duo: *inches away from him* Uh…guys?

__

Above, beneath.

Duo: Middle.

Everybody else: O_0

Duo: What?

__

From the slimy branches the grey drips drop…

Everybody: *stare blankly* 

Quatre: Wha—

Trowa: Just don't think about it.

Wufei: I'm trying…

__

To the oozy waters, that lounge and flop…

Heero: *starts to shake*

Quatre: But how can water lounge or flop? And how can it do both at the same time?

Trowa: Quatre…

Quatre: What?

Trowa: You're thinking about it again.

Quatre: Sorry.

__

And my head shrieks—"Stop"

Wufei: You should listen to the voices in your head.

Heero: Mine are telling me to kill this poet.

__

And my heart shrieks—"Die"…

Duo: Whoa. Even his own body wants to kill him.

Cherry Blossom: Can you blame it?

Duo: No.

Quatre: GO BODY! KILL HIM!! KIIIIIIIILLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

Trowa: Little one!

Cherry Blossom: Still a whole page left to go.

Everybody: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__

Ugh!

Trowa: GAG!

Heero: SPEW!

Quatre: SPLAT!

Duo: OOG!

Wufei: ARGH!

Cherry Blossom: SMEG!

__

Yet I knew—I knew

Wufei: What did he know?

Duo: That he was……….A WOMAN!

Cherry Blossom: *whaps Duo in the back of the head* 

Duo: Itai!

Cherry Blossom: Stop it! That's an insult to women everywhere.

__

If a woman is false can a friend be true?

Trowa: Um…yes?

Duo: Oh wait! Is this a trick question?

__

It was only a lie from beginning to end—

Quatre: What was a lie?

Duo: I told you. He was actually…………….A WOMAN!

Cherry Blossom: *whaps Duo again* I thought I told you to stop that.

Duo: *grumbles*

__

My Devil—My "Friend"…

Duo: Look at that! That's proof! The poet is a demon! He's friends with the Devil!

Heero: We already knew that.

Wufei: Who cares?

__

So what do I care,

Everybody: O_0

Cherry Blossom: That was scary.

Everybody: *nods in agreement*

__

And my head is empty as air—

Duo: He even admits that he has no brain.

Wufei: *snorts* Like you couldn't tell that from the rest of the poem.

__

I can do,

Everybody: NO YOU CAN'T!

__

I can dare

Everybody: NO YOU CAN'T!!

__

(Plop, plop

Everybody: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

__

The barges flop

Quatre: Trowa, I'm scared!

Trowa: It'll be okay, little one.

Wufei: No it won't.

__

Drip, drop.)

Cherry Blossom: No more! *sob* Please, no more!

Heero: *pulls out his gun, cocks it and puts it in his mouth*

Duo: *tries to hang himself with his braid*

Quatre: No wait, guys! It's almost over!

__

I can dare, I can dare!

Wufei: Nataku! Why have you forsaken me?

__

And let myself all run away with my head

Heero: Yes…..run away….must….run away….

Trowa: Hold it together, just a little longer.

__

And stop.

Cherry Blossom: YES! STOP!

__

Drop

Dead.

Cherry Blossom: YES!! YES!!

Quatre: I think she's lost it.

Trowa: *looks over at Heero who is preparing to shoot himself and Duo who is trying to hang himself* She's not the only one.

__

Plop, flop.

Cherry Blossom: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Duo: *finds that his braid is too short to wrap around his neck. bursts into tears*

Heero: Mission accepted. *pulls the trigger. Doesn't go off* Damn.

Quatre: Hey, guys….I think it's over!

Wufei: Thank you, sweet Nataku!

__

Plop.

Quatre: Maybe not.

Cherry Blossom: Okay NOW it's over.

Heero: Thank God.

Duo: Welcome.

Heero: Not you.

Duo: *pouts*

Everyone stumbles out of the theater, blank eyed.

Trowa: That was cruel and unusual punishment.

Heero: You're DEAD Cherry!

Cherry Blossom: I didn't know it was that bad, I SWEAR!

Duo: I need some pocky.

Quatre: I wanna go home, Trowa.

Trowa: Right. Let's get out of here.

Cherry Blossom: See you next week.

Everyone: *stare*

Wufei: You're NOT making us do that again.

Cherry Blossom: Oh come on. There can't be another poem as bad as that one.

Trowa: Wouldn't bet on it.

Cherry Blossom: It depends on how many reviews I get.

Heero: Anyone who reviews shall die a slow, painful death.

Cherry Blossom: He's kidding.

Heero: I'm not.

Cherry Blossom: Yes he is.

Heero: No I'm not.

Cherry Blossom: Is.

Heero: Not.

Cherry Blossom: Is.

Heero: Not.

Cherry Blossom: IS!

Heero: NOT!

Matteo: Um…excuse me…

Cherry Blossom: WHAT?!

Matteo: The uh….address?

Cherry Blossom: Huh? Oh, right! If you wanna send me crappy poetry to use on the show write to [chibicherryb@hotmail.com][1].

Heero: Write and I kill you.

Cherry Blossom: Will not.

Heero: Will too.

Matteo: I'm getting out of here.

   [1]: mailto:chibicherryb@hotmail.com



	3. Crappy Poem Theater 3

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book. 

Cherry Blossom: Hiyee minna! Welcome back to our *counts on fingers* THIRD episode of Crappy Poem Theater. Yay!

Matteo: You know, those things are bad for your health.

Cherry Blossom: What? The pipe? It's filled with bubble solution. *blows bubbles at Matteo* See?

Matteo: I was talking about the poems.

Cherry Blossom: Oh…

Wufei: Why are we back here again, onna? I thought the budget ran out for this program.

Cherry Blossom: *turns red* Shhhh!! *smiles at camera* Well, we've gotten so much support from reviewers that I just HAD to spendmycollegemoney to keep on airing the show. Plus I found some more bad poems.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Look on the bright side. They CAN'T be any worse then the last one.

Trowa: Wouldn't bet on it.

Wufei: I want to know what kisama reviewed this stupid show.

Cherry Blossom: Good question. I have now opened an additional part to my show. It's called Reviewer's Corner. Where we find out just who reviewed last weeks show—

Heero: And where they live so I can kill them.

Cherry Blossom: *rolls her eyes* Right. Anyway, if you want to skip Reviewer's Corner because you DIDN'T REVIEW LAST TIME *eyes go zero-y*…

Duo: Or maybe cause you're really, really impatient to get to the crappy poem part.

Trowa: Don't be silly. Who'd want to do that?

Cherry Blossom: Then you can use the scroll bar to your right. That's what it's for. Now on to Reviewer's Corner. *crash of lightning and thunder* Matteo!

Matteo: Sorry.

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: Hey minna! Let's read some of these reviews.

Heero: All these people shall die!

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, whatever. Matteo will read them out loud. 

Matteo: *clears throat* Meg Uchuno writes,

Hey! I love these poem things you do! They rule! 

Wufei: *grumbles* Matter of opinion…

Cherry Blossom: *smiles modestly* Thank you.

Matteo: I also pity the g-boys for having to sit though your insanity! (insert evil laugh here) I have an idea for your series. how 'bout " Crappy Song Theater" ? Make the g-boys sit though crappy songs. 

Quatre: *big kawaii eyes* She can't be serious!

Wufei: INJUSTICE! How can this onna suggest that we sit through unbearable crappy songs? It is bad enough that we must listen to these idiotic poems.

Matteo: I think it would be funny. so...

Blossom-san, how 'bout it? I suggest a really crappy song like something from some idiot pop group. just a suggestion. i really like your stories! Keep writing!

Cherry Blossom: Unfortunately, the budget will not allow us to produce another show at this time.

Trowa: Thank God.

Duo: Welcome.

Trowa: Not you.

Duo: *pouts*

Cherry Blossom: However because your suggestion was sooooooo good……I'm going to get Duo here to sing some crappy songs while we read the rest of the mail. 'Kay?

G-Boyz (sans Duo): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: Here you go. *hands Duo a microphone*

Duo: ALRIGHT! What should my first song be? Um…I know! *annoying latin beat fills the air* Talk to me/Tell me your name/You blow me off like it's all the same

Wufei: INNNNNJUUUUUUUUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCEEE!!!!

Duo: You lit a fuse and now I'm ticking away/Like a bomb/Yeah, Baby

Cherry Blossom: *smiles* Next letter.

Matteo: *trying to cover his ears* Nanashi No More wrote, 

My god, that's the worst poem in history. WHO WROTE THAT???? Poor G-Boys... Oh well, lol, really funny!

Trowa: I believe the child molester wrote the last one.

Cherry Blossom: That's Theophile not pedophile.

Wufei: Same difference.

Duo: Talk to me/Tell me your sign/You're switching sides like a Gemini/You're playing games and now you're hittin' my heart/Like a drum/Yeah, Baby

Quatre: Riiight.

Matteo: Animefanficgrl writes,

That's so cute! Not a very good poem though... ^_^

Quarte: If it was a good poem then it wouldn't be called Crappy Poem Theater, would it?

Wufei: If it was a good poem I wouldn't have to kill each and every one of you.

Heero: Noooooooo! That's MY job!

Cherry Blossom: Shut up. Next letter please. 

Duo: Well if Lady Luck gets on my side/We're gonna rock this town alive/I'll let her rough me up/Till she knocks me out/She walks like she talks,/And she talks like she walks

Matteo: Umm…. Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

I can see this poet on a street corner "Poverty! Left, right! Drip, drop... From empty booze bottles the alcohol drips drops... Plop, flop... To the coins that into the cup flop.... I can dare, I can dare! To rob that bank right over there!" ... well, maybe I didn't catch his style.... maybe that was pathetic parody attempt (no.. it -definately- was)... but ya know what I mean. Heeheehee... I havta run out and see the first one now.

Wufei: Thank you for that impromptu torture.

Trowa: Nice sarcasm, Wufei!

Wufei: *politely* Thank you.

Trowa: *sweatdrops*

Duo: And she bangs, she bangs/Oh baby/When she moves, she moves/I go crazy/'Cause she looks like a flower but she stings like a bee/Like every girl in history

Matteo: Shinimegami Winner writes,

Mwaaahahahahaaahahah! I guess I'll die a slow and painful death... (wait...how can the goddess of death die... haha! try that Heero!) 

Heero: *reaches for gun. Discovers it's not in his spandex space* Wha—

Cherry Blossom: I took it away. You were threatening to hurt the nice reviewers.

Matteo: Anyway, this fic's hilarious!!! Can't wait till next week! I'm studying crappy poetry too, so maybe I'll contribute to making the Gboys lives a living hell! Ciao!

Wufei: *stare blankly* I hate her.

Quatre: No you don't. My space heart knows.

Wufei: *twitches*

Duo: She bangs, she bangs/I'm wasted by the way she moves/No one ever looked so fine/She reminds me that a woman only got one thing on her mind

Cherry Blossom: WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT WAS THAT LAST LINE?

Duo: Umm…..She reminds me that a woman only got one thing on her mind?

Wufei: First intelligent lyric in this crappy song.

Cherry Blossom: *eyes go zero-y* That's it! I'm discontinuing this song because it is sexist! Duo, find something else to sing!

Duo: Umm…okay! *hockey country music fills the air* Don't tell my heart,/my achy breaky heart,/I just don't think he'll understand.

G-Boyz: *scream*

Cherry Blossom: That's better. Next letter.

Matteo: Emi-chan writes,

Very Cute. Plus if Trowa Girl (aka C-chan) aproves. I must aprove too ^_^ Good job.

Cherry Blossom: Yes C-chan is a very important person in the fanfic world. We all must bow to her approval.

Heero: Nice sarcasm.

Cherry Blossom: I was being serious…

Duo: But if you tell my heart,/ my achy breaky heart,/he might blow up and kill this man. 

Matteo: Silvermyst writes,

funny! write more soon! luv ya lots, silvermyst ^_^

Cherry Blossom: This soon enough for ya?

Wufei: YES!

Duo: *does the dance* You can tell your Ma,/ I moved to Arkansas,/you can tell your dog/to bite my leg./Or tell your brother Cliff, /whose fist can tell my lips,/he never really liked me anyway.

Matteo: Ashley writes,

YOU ROCK CHERRY! 

Cherry Blossom: *blushes* Thank you.

Matteo: Hey tell Wu-man HE HAS A FIIIIINNNNNNNEEEEE ASS ANDD SALLY AINT GOOD ENUFF FOR HEEM AND HES MINE ALL MINE! PLEAAAAAAAASSSSSSSE!

Quatre: Looks like you've got a fan Wufei!

Wufei: *blushes* Onna.

Heero: My ass is cuter.

Everybody: *sweatdrop* 

Heero: Well it is.

Cherry Blossom: Nu uh. Zechs has got the cutest ass.

Trowa: then why don't you have him here?

Cherry Blossom: And make him suffer through this torture? You must be joking!

Trowa: *sigh*

Matteo: Cold Dragon writes,

LOL. Must find poetry to send in...must make sure there is another chapter...at least a few more. Oh I know, I can raid my ex-roommate from hell poetry collection, that should keep you really busy. :)

Heero: Omeo o korosu!

Trowa: Hey, Heero isn't that someone you were supposed to have killed already?

Heero: *mutters something unintelligible*

Cherry Blossom: I hid his gun. Remember?

Matteo: Sabacat writes,

Ya know, the people who wrotes these poems must have been on some bad drugs! but i love your 'theater'! ^_^

Quatre: There's another one you were supposed to have killed.

Heero: Shut up, Quatre.

Quatre: *zero look* That wasn't nice…

Matteo: Uh… Cleckmoon writes,

Ahyayahhhhh!!! Thats my new way to scream. Nobody understands it, and it's fun. Great MST, CB! hehe.. Chibi CB... Ooh, fic idea... I'm gonna abuse the copyright laws again. Dance little slave, dance! Tehehehe! AHYAYAHHHHH!!

Wufei: This onna is nuts.

Heero: But she likes me. So I won't kill her.

Trowa: What kind of logic is that?

Matteo: Cherry Blossom writes—

Cherry Blossom: Wait that's me.

Quatre: Why'd you review your own fic?

Cherry Blossom: I just wanted to point out that my formatting got screwed up….AGAIN!

Trowa: Why?

Cherry Blossom: I've got the word processor from HELL that's why. Let's move on.

Matteo: Me2 writes

Rofl!

Heero: That was…….short.

Cherry Blossom: But informative. Next!

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

Poor poor g-boys....well not really wahahahahaha!! Heh heh heh my english teacher has soooo many poem books. I'm bound to find one crappy poem...

Quatre: *shudders* She really IS evil.

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego writes, 

Hmm . . . *weighs the prospect of watching the g-boys suffer against Heero's promise of a slow death* mwahahahahahahahaha.... ^_~

Duo: Hey Heero, wasn't that a person that you said you ki—

Heero: Don't say it.

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Chetiche Barton write, 

Ya know,being killed by Heero might not be so bad so thats why I'm reviewing!Yes It's almighty Lucky and I say LET THERE BE LIGHT,I mean CRAPPY POEMS!MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Heero: *eyes get zero-y* NOT SO BAD?! NOT SO BAD!!!

Duo: Whoa, relax old buddy. They didn't mean it.

Heero: OMEO O KOROSU!

Matteo: kelly writes, 

Yay! LOL! Very funny! Make sure to write more!

Quatre: It's not funny. It's SCARY.

Trowa: I'll protect you, little one.

Duo: *gag*

Matteo: Jadet writes,

Buwahahahahhahaha!!!! I'm sorry Heero-chan but that was hilarious!!!! PLEASE bring out another episode, this was awesome!!!! Great job Cherry, keep it up!! ::ROFLM:: Buwahahahahaha!!!! Jya!!!! ^.~

Heero: Don't call me Heero-chan.

Cherry Blossom: Lighten up, will ya Heero?

Matteo: Elentari writes,

Sorry Hee-Chan!!!I've had WAY too much sugar! Write more, write more! *grins at Heero* Just try it Mr. Perfect Soldier! Just try it.

Heero: Oh I will. I will…

Everybody: *inches away from Heero*

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes,

*dares Heero to get her :P * I like this, weird poems and Gundam Pilots reactions, Keep it up ^^

Heero: So many people to kill, so little time.

Cherry Blossom: I hid your gun.

Heero: I can find others. Besides, I have a big @ss GUNDAM that I can use to kill people.

Cherry Blossom: Oh yeah…

Matteo: Kiyone writes,

*tears streaming down her cheeks* that...was...sooo....FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! and my name's in it! HURRAY!!!! You BETTER do more!!! *lunges for a tissue, but falls on the floor laughing instead* HAHAHA!!

Cherry Blossom: Guess what Kiyone? Your name's in it AGAIN!

Trowa: I think she can tell.

Cherry Blossom: *sticks tongue out at Trowa*

Matteo: Hawk writes,

Please continue! I love warching Wu-man get tortured by these!!! These are very very funny!

Wufei: YOU DARE CALL ME WU-MAN?!

Duo: Whoa, chill out Wu-man.

Wufei: KISAMA!

Matteo: teague writes,

Better than the last one!!! More! Perhaps a longer poem to torture our friends with???

Duo: Longer? Are you out of your mind?!

Heero: Yes.

Matteo: Desperate Angel writes,

Bananas? No, that Cherry Blossom *coughs* Erm...sorry. That was really funny. It reminds me alot of what I used to do in my horrible Lit classes.*shudders* So glad that I'm finished with them. Anyway, keep up the good work and I can't wait for the next installment!

Cherry Blossom: My English teacher is the devil.

G-Boyz: WE KNOW!

Matteo: And lastly, Umi Sakura writes,

*Just smile and nod* The creeped out writer tells herself. *Just listen to Trowa* (I loved it. It was even funnier than the last one. You must do more!* - Umi Sakura a.k.a. Mi-Chan ^_^

Trowa: You should always listen to me. I know everything.

Everyone sans Trowa: *sweatdrop*

Cherry Blossom: Well that's all from Reviewer's Corner. If you left a review and didn't see your name here it was probably because YOU DIDN'T REVIEW FAST ENOUGH! THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO LEAVE THINGS TO THE LAST MINUTE! HA!

Heero: I'm killing all of you.

Duo: Empty threats, Heero. Empty threats.

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene changes to a darkened theater where five familiar figures are seated.

Wufei: I really wish I wasn't here.

Heero: Hn…

Duo: Just as long as I get popcorn, I'm happy.

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of thin air* Hey guys! We've wasted a lot of time with the Reviews so lets get straight to the poems.

G-Boyz: *groan*

Matteo: Aren't you forgetting something?

Cherry Blossom: Like what?

Matteo: The disclaimer…

Cherry Blossom: Oh yeah. This time it's perfect. Put it up.

Disclaimer: I own Jack. See? *holds up guy named Jack* I also own Zip and Zero…

Cherry Blossom: *sigh* Why me?

Heero: *sulks* I own Zero.

Cherry Blossom: Let's move it along. Today I have a bunch of short poems.

Quatre: Yeah! They're short.

Cherry Blossom: They may be short but that doesn't mean that they're any less crappy.

Trowa: Damn.

Cherry Blossom: Let's get started. You're on, Matteo.

Matteo: *clears throat* 

__

Go Away Death

Duo: Hey!

__

By: Alfred Austin

Trowa: Hey wasn't that the first guy we studied?

Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

__

Go away, Death!

Duo: I'll say it again; Hey!

__

You have come too soon.

Quatre: But Duo's never early.

Duo: HEY!

Trowa: Hay is for horses.

Cherry Blossom: That was pathetic, Trowa.

Trowa: *sobs* I know.

Quatre: It's okay, Trowa.

__

To sunshine and song I but just awaken,

And the dew on my heart is undried and unshaken,

Wufei: No comment.

__

Come back again at noon.

Duo: Okay. *writes something in a little black notebook entitled "People to Kill"*

Heero: I have one of those. Only mine's blue.

Cherry Blossom: *sweatdrops* Next poem, please.

Matteo: Alright.

__

A Pretty Girl

Cherry Blossom: It's a poem about me. How nice.

G-Boyz: *snicker*

Cherry Blossom: Hey! *pouts*

__

By: J. Gordon Coogler

Duo: Coogler. What a silly name.

Heero: Look who's talking.

Duo: *cute incoherent stuttering noises*

__

On her beautiful face there are smiles of grace

That linger in beauty serene,

Duo: What are you talking about, Cherry? This isn't so bad.

Cherry Blossom: Wait for it…

__

And there are no pimples encircling her dimples, 

As ever, as yet, I have seen.

Everybody: *blink* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wufei: I hope his girl dumped him.

Heero: I hope his girl shot him.

Cherry Blossom: *weakly* Next…

Matteo: Right.

__

The Round of the Clock

Trowa: What a fascinating subject.

Cherry Blossom: Trowa! Was that sarcasm I heard?

Trowa: …..

__

By: Frederick B. Needham

Cherry Blossom: These are all men. So I think it's safe to say that only men can write truly crappy poems. 

G-Boyz: HEY!

Wufei: KISAMA!

Cherry Blossom: What?

__

"One!" strikes the clock in the belfry tower,

Which but sixty minutes ago

Sounded twelve for the midnight hour.

Everyone: *stare*

Quatre: That was it?

Cherry Blossom: Yep.

Heero: That was stupid.

Cherry Blossom: Yep. Next!

Matteo:

__

The Grand Rapids Cricket Club

Duo: What's cricket?

Trowa: It's a bug.

Quatre: No, no. It's a game. Kinda like baseball.

Heero: How do you know that?

Quatre: *blush* I used to play…

Everyone: O__0

Quatre: *sobs* I didn't wanna! Rashid made me! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!!

Trowa: It's alright little one.

Cherry Blossom: Whatever.

__

By Julia A. Moore

Duo: Well that just blows your "Crappy Man Poet Theory" right out of the water, doesn't it?

Cherry Blossom: Shaddup.

__

When Mr. Dennis does well play,

His courage is full great,

Heero: How much courage does it take to play cricket?

Quatre: You'd be surprised…

__

And accidents to him occur,

But not as much though, of late

Duo: Wow. Deep.

Wufei: This is stupid.

Heero: You're telling ME.

Cherry Blossom: One more ought to do it.

Matteo:

__

On Visiting Westminster Abbey

Heero: You should feel right at home, Duo.

Duo: What are you talking about? I'm not a priest.

Cherry Blossom: then why are you wearing that priest outfit?

Duo: It's a fashion statement.

Cherry Blossom: Riiight.

Duo: Like the braid: 

Cherry Blossom: Riiight.

__

By: Amanda Mckittrick Ros

Wufei: HA! Another onna writer!

Cherry Blossom: Shut up.

__

Holy Moses! Have a look!

Duo: Oh my Shinigami! Look at that! It's a crappy poet!

Quatre: Where?

Trowa: *sigh*

__

Flesh decayed in every nook!

Quatre: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!

Heero: *smiles* This is my kind of poem.

__

Some rare bits of brain lie here

Quatre and Cherry Blossom: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

__

Mortal loads of beef and beer

Duo: Wha?

Trowa: Smile and nod.

__

Some of whom are turned to dust,

Everyone bids lost to lust

Cherry Blossom: *stares blankly* Am I the only one who didn't get that?

G-Boyz: NO!

__

Famous some were—yet they died;

Poets—Statesmen—Rouges beside

Heero: Why couldn't THIS poet have died?

Duo: Rouges beside what?

Trowa: Just smile and nod…

__

King—Queens, all of them do rot

Wufei: Kill me now.

Heero: Okay—

Cherry Blossom: No gun.

Heero: Smeg.

__

What about them? Now—they're not!

Duo: Huh?

Trowa: Don't worry. We didn't get it either.

Quatre: Please tell me that's the end.

Cherry Blossom: Well…..okay. I think that's enough for one night.

G-Boyz: *sigh in relief*

Cherry Blossom: So until next week—

Wufei: KIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Heero: You are NOT making us do that again!

Cherry Blossom: But guuuuuuuuys…..the fans…..

Heero: I don't care. Get some other anime characters to pick on. I'm not doing this again.

Cherry Blossom: Just calm down. I don't even know if I have any more crappy poems.

Heero: You just better not.

Cherry Blossom: We'll just have to hope that some readers send some in…

Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *grin* Send your crappy poetry to [chibicherryb@hotmail.com.][1]

Heero: Omeo o korosu!

Cherry Blossom: That's getting kind of old, Heero.

Heero: *sulks*

Cherry Blossom: Jaa!! ^__^ 

   [1]: mailto:chibicherryb@hotmail.com.



	4. Crappy Poem Theater 4

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book. 

Cherry Blossom: Welcome back to the fourth episode of…uh….

Matteo: Crappy Poem Theater.

Cherry Blossom: I KNOW that.

Matteo: Suuuure.

Cherry Blossom: Look, you try writing this stuff on three hours of sleep, okay? 

Matteo: You should go to bed earlier.

Cherry Blossom: I would except I had to finish my…er….work.

Matteo: Yeah, playing UNO for four hours straight with Melody-san is a LOT of work.

Cherry Blossom: Bite me.

Matteo: Okay…

Cherry Blossom: Not literally, you hentai!

Matteo: *sulks*

Cherry Blossom: So…all we all ready for another episode of truly horrible poetry?

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Cherry Blossom: Great! But first…

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: For those of you who haven't been paying attention, Reviewer's Corner is the part of the show when we find out who reviewed last week's show. As always, my multi-talented muse, Matteo will read the letters.

Matteo: *grumbles* Why do I always have to read? 

Cherry Blossom: Just do it! *phrase owned by Nike, have no intention of being sued*

Matteo: *clears throat* Shinimegami Winner writes, 

Mwaahahahahahahaaaa... The Goddess of Death has returned... and she has a crappy poem! "I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud!!!"

Wufei: *in horror* No! Anything but that!

Matteo: Mwaahahahahaaha... eh, well, at least I hated it... Anywho continue! I want to see Heero tortured some more!!! Mwaahahahahaha! (Shinimegami

disappears in a poof of smoke)

Quatre: Why can't _I_ disappear in a poof of smoke?

Heero: *whines* Why does everybody hate meeeeeeeeeeeee?

Duo: Oh, I dunno…maybe 'cause you keep threatening to KILL THEM!!

Heero: *thinks a bit* Naaaaaaaaaahhhh.

Matteo: Elentari writes, 

Hey, Heero, I'm still alive!And encouraging CherryBlossom to find more poems to torture you guys with! *evil laugh* Byeeee! *Runs off to find

more crappy poems for CherryBlossom*

Cherry Blossom: Arigatou to everyone who sent in poems. I was all set to use them but then my English Prof. came and gave me more of them for an assignment so…we're stuck with those until I run out again.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *rubs ears* I wish you guys wouldn't do that…

Matteo: Sebien writes,

(Laughs off of chair)Loved this on too please write another if you can!! But still, (gets scary sweet look)be a little more easier on Quarte!! Please!!

Quatre: *all choked up* You like me. You really like me.

Cherry Blossom: What do you think boys? Shall we let him go?

G-Boyz: NO!

Quatre: *pouts* Meanies.

Cherry Blossom: Didn't think so.

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego writes,

*amazed whistle* Profound how mentioning people in the fic gets the number of reviews up, ne? ^_~ And I'll see what I can do about finding some

crappy poetry and/or songs for ya'. Just because Hee-kun deserves it. ^__^

Heero: HEY!

Cherry Blossom: *whistles nonchalantly* Don't know WHAT you're talking about, Corazon-chan. I'm not dropping names just so I can get more reviews. Nuh uh.

Duo: But I thought—

Cherry Blossom: *covers his mouth with her hand* Let's move on to the next letter, shall we?

Duo: Mmmph mmmph mmmph!!

Cherry Blossom: Sorry Duo, honey. Can't understand a WORD you're saying.

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes, 

Funny! (Those are some STUPID poems!) I've got some to submit sometime ... I'll try to get them to you somehow. [looks at "The Grand Rapids

Cricket Club"] KISAMA POET! SHE STOLE MY NAME (almost)!

Wufei: NEVER mention that unjust poet again!

Matteo: Lig Maxwell writes,

Hahaha!!That was soooo funny!! I love character torturing fics, especially the ones with Wuffie.... *grins* 

Wufei: *pouts* I'm always getting tortured by someone.

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry Wu-man. I still luv ya!

Wufei: *grumbles*

Matteo: And hey, I have some REALLY crappy

poems that my teacher gave us. I'll send them to you A.S.A.P. (just try and kill me now Hee-chan!MUAAHAHAHA!!!)Ja ne!

Heero: No…..more…..POEMS!

Cherry Blossom: Too late, Hee-chan. At this rate the show will last forever. ^__^

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: I thought I told you guys to quit that…

Matteo: : Juliana Kintobor writes, 

Quatre: Hey, didn't we already hear from her?

Duo: She reviewed again! She's not allowed to do that, is she?

Matteo: I am reviewing again. My computer is screwed and I thus have the power to review twice. (*mwahahahaha*) GOD I LOVE THIS THINGS! ^_^ I love ya, Cherry Blossom. You have very good writing skills -- unlike those poets. Hee hee ...... if you'll excuse me, I have some poets to pushoffacliffandkill -- erm, I mean, meet with ...

Cherry Blossom: Did you hear that? I have good writing skills.

Matteo: Uh oh, swelled head alert.

Cherry Blossom: : p

Matteo: Rebecca the Great (much too lazy to sign in)

Wufei: Apparently.

Matteo: Writes, 

Ha! Fei-babe DOES have a cute ass 

Wufei: *smirks*

Duo: Now you've done it.

Matteo: (nope, Hee-chan, your's ain't cute, it's just wrapped in spandex, Wu-bear has too much integrity for that ^_~ )

Wufei: *smirk gets bigger* This onna is great!

Heero: *incoherent sputtering noises*

Matteo: I'm considering sending you some really retarded poems to help with your G-boy torture. Oh, and PLEASE don't make Duo sing again. ^_^

Duo: *pouts* And just what is wrong with my singing.

Everybody else: O_0

Cherry Blossom: You have to ask?

Duo: HEY!

Matteo: Kiyone writes,

HAHAHA!!!! I will NEVER get tired of reading these!!! LOL so funny!!!! hmm...i'll go look for some crappy poems around the house... even if it's putting poor Duo though torture! Sowwie Duo-huney!!!! ^_^

Duo: *still pouting* Apology not accepted.

Cherry Blossom: Cheer up. I've got pocky!

Duo: Pocky? Where?!

Cherry Blossom: Here ya go. *gives pocky to Duo*

Duo: YEAH! *scarfs down the pocky* 

Matteo: Black Tiger /a.k.a.autumn fowler writes, 

HEY CHERRY-SAMMA! 

Cherry Blossom: HEY BLACK TIGER!

Matteo: PLEASE LET DUO GO I DON'T THINK HE DESERVES THIS.

Duo: Whooo hooo. Alright. Someone like me!

Matteo: AS FOR HEERO MAKE HIM STAY FOR ALL TIME!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! 

Heero: *twitches*

Cherry Blossom: I know what you're thinking and no, you can't have your gun back.

Heero: Smeg.

Matteo: TROWA AND QUATRE AND WUFIE TOO!BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAH LUV YA

DU-CHAN!(0-^)XXXXXXXXXXXX#X

A VERY angry Quatre and Wufei: EXCUSE ME?!

Quatre: *going zero-y* My enemy…

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Trowa: …..

Cherry Blossom: Hey, Trowa. Are you okay? You haven't said anything all show.

Trowa: ……

Cherry Blossom: Trowa?

Duo: I think he's zoned out.

Heero: The strain must have been too much for him.

Quatre: Oh, Trowa!

Trowa: ……

Matteo: Dariana Night writes, 

(pulls out Katana and points it at cherry blossom) Be nice to Wu-koi or else! (waves Katana and glares) (puts katana up) other than that good job! 

Cherry Blossom: I'm nice to him! Aren't I Wufei?

Wufei: You're making me listen to crappy poems.

Cherry Blossom: Well…yes, but BESIDES that.

Wufei: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: Aw, come on. Just 'cause I said that Zechs had the cutest ass.

Wufei: Hn… 

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

Hmm...how many many crappy poems do I have so far...::counts:: You boys are lucky. I only have four so far...key term: so far. I'm still searching

::grins evily:: 'till then...you live... 

Quatre: *shudder* Why am I suddenly filled with dread?

Heero: Three guesses.

Trowa: ….

Cherry Blossom: Would you TALK already?

Trowa: …..

Cherry Blossom: ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Matteo: Minuit writes,

Oh, dear. And I thought I had read bad poetry before... *snickers* That was, without a doubt, the worst bunch of utter garbage I have ever read. So

much better than doing my Speech class debate briefs! ^_^() Poor Gundam boys; they're really going through a lot. You always hurt the ones you

love, after all... *pats Quatre on the head* Seriously, though, I love your work. I can't wait to read more! Ja!

Quatre: *starry eyes* She loves me…

Trowa: …….

Cherry Blossom: TALK DAMN YOU!

Matteo: little greeeeeeeeeeen! (Yay!!) 

Hello Cheery chan!!! I luuuuv it!! It's so funny when our boyz MST poems, it's as cool as "dear Andrea"! BTW, I agree with them, those poems are

lame... Did you pick in your school stock once more? Please, tell meeeee!!

Cherry Blossom: Yes. Believe it or not these were all poems assigned to be by the….evil Mr. Thorpe!!!

Matteo: [NDLR : Treize sez hello, even if his mouth is currently stuffed with

carrots so I don't understand every word! Actually, we both know he can't talk, unlike Matteo, but the heart is there! ... OMG, I should stop him

now... He looks like his cheeks are gonna explode or something...]

G-Boyz: o_0

Duo: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: Trieze is her hamster.

Wufei: Oh…

Matteo: Ginga writes,

Poor G-boys...

Duo: *kawaii eyes* Yes, poor us.

Wufei: Pity me…

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Cherry Blossom: Stop…

Matteo: teague writes,

hmm.. duo, babe, you just don't know how completely outta my mind I am... the only thing I got outta the poems was the beer part in the last one... I was like yeah! sumthin along my lines, beer!... anyway.. *cough* I'm gonna go eat some pocky.

Duo: POCKY!! YEAH!!

Cherry Blossom: You already had some.

Matteo: Hinode says, 

Ahh, at last, someone who knows the pain of reading crappy poems. This series is absolutely hilarious, and I totally understand the pain. My AP Lit teacher is forcing us to do a unit on sonnets *shudder*. Hehe, there's a thought: the G-boys being forced to sit through nonsensical Shakespearean odes to unrequited (and oftentimes unreal) love. Definately keep this series going!

Quatre: Wasn't Shakespear supposed to be the greatest writer of all time?

Cherry Blossom: You'd think that. But then you'd be wrong. 

Matteo: kelly writes,

Another funny one! Yay! We did a poetry project in my class, and sadly this is what most of the poems sounded like *sweatdrop*...Including mine*blush* ...er.. Hope to see more soon! ^_^ Jan ne!

Trowa: …..

Cherry Blossom: God would you just SAY something? 

Matteo: Meg Uchuno writes, 

Konnichi wa Blossom-san. It was such a nice shock to see my review in your story! ::screams for joy :: I ADORED Duo's singing talents! You RULE Duo-chan! 

Duo: *kawaii smile* Thank you.

Matteo: I think Wufei-chan also rules. ::winks:: 

Wufei: I know.

Quatre: Modest, aren't you.

Wufei: Yes…

Quatre: *sweatdrops*

Matteo: Um... Heero can go to Jigoku as far as I'm concerned ( ya hear that Heero! Just TRY and KILL me! I dare you! Say, didn't Blossom-san take away your gun? ::insert evil laugh here::) 

Heero: *pleading look* Pleeeeaaaaase?

Cherry Blossom: No.

Matteo: Um...Trowa sucks and Quatre has the mind of a 4-year old. 

Quatre: HEY! I'm the strategist around here you know!

Cherry Blossom: I'm sure she didn't mean it Q-chan.

Trowa: *zero-look*

Duo: Uh…Trowa?

Matteo: I know of one poet that has enough crappy poems to last you a lifetime. Her name is Emily Dickenson. Her poems SUCK. sorry for the insanity. oh wait. i'm not sorry for the craziness. Ara ore Kami-sama, Maybe you should included Relena in these. Not so you can torture her but so you can torture Heero! ::insert evil laugh here :: Ja ne!

Heero: Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssssseeeeeeeee?!!!

Cherry Blossom: No…

Trowa: *starts to shake*

Duo: Trowa?

Matteo: Caro-chan writes, 

YAY!!! More tortured bishounen! ^_^ Sorry Duo, I love you, but this is too funny to give up! Please post more, Cherry B! (ducks as various objects are thrown at her by the G-Boys)

Wufei: HA! You're aim sucks, Heero.

Heero: You missed as well.

Wufei: ….

Matteo: Hawk writes,

Oh my God! ( Not you Duo!)This is so funny!!! * Turns to chibi form* Wu-man, I can call you Wu-Man cuz I'm AN 'ONNA' and you are an idiot, and Wu-man you are weaker than a woman! * Returns to normal teenaged girl form* Luved the torture session! Want more now!

Wufei: *looks like he's going to cry*

Duo: Uh oh. Now you've done it.

Wufei: T-that…onna…j-just said…

Cherry Blossom: *quickly feeds him some pocky* Alright guys, no more bashing in the reviews. I have to work with these guys, you know. 

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes,

I so love this! Keep it up! Sorry Guys but this is to good of a thing ^^ *waves* the dare's still open to Heero.

Heero: Hn…

Duo: You're losing your edge.

Heero: Shut up.

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

I hope someone sends ya more poems. I'd help, but I don't want Duo too angry with me, and I didn't lug my lit book with me from school. *shrugs* You can decide which is the main reason why I won't be helpin' you out... Wufei, you're as kind as a hungry, constipated mountain lion with cubs. But I won't think of any more impromptu torture, okay?... *evil grin* My torture will be methodically planned out... *sighs* To think, I found your ass finer than Heero's. Maybe a re evaluation is in order (but I doubt an honorable guy like you cares about such vain things, am I right...?). This is still as amusing as ever, Cherry Blossom ^_^

Wufei: *lower lip trembles* 

Cherry Blossom: Aw smeg. *stuffs him with even more pocky* C'mon guys, she didn't, mean it.

Matteo: Dark Heart says,

That was sooooo funny! I thought the pimpley-dimples poem was the worst. Poor G-boys! Oh, and just because I love Heero and dislike Wufei:

HEERO HAS THE HOTTEST ASS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um, yeah. Anyway, I love these! MORE, MORE, MORE!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *covers Wufei's ears* No more bashing. 

Heero: I'm glad SOMEBODY likes my ass.

Duo: No comment.

Trowa: …….

Duo: Exactly.

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes,

Ahyayahhhhh!!! Great way to make me laugh. Hey! Woofie! You were right! I AM a nutty onna! And i have a nutty boyfriend, and nutty friends, and nutty teachers, who all go to a nutty high school... Peanuts! Pistacios! Casaba Melons! (I was sick of the protiens). Anyway... Nice MST's. –Love from, the crazy anthropomorphic hare girl that lives down the block and likes to stare at you with her super high powered deer hunting binoculars, and believes that if someone is pointing a laser at you, duck, because yer gonna get shot at.

G-Boyz: O_0

Quatre: Okaaaaay.

Cherry Blossom: Thanks for the advise, CM. When's the next chapter of The Underground coming out anyway?

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Chetiche Barton write,

Lucky:Like I said b4 It's not so bad to be killed by Heero...Chetiche:Just because you wrote a romance with him and You and had a dream about him doesn't mean he won't kill you. Lucky:Hmph...

Heero: O_0

Duo: *snickers*

Matteo: Great Story!Ohh I have a crappy poem!I wrote it myself so it has to be crappy!And I really want this to go on!Chetiche:Yeah!!!!Lucky:By the way since you blabed I Liked Heero(which I do and I REALLY had a dream about him)I get to say...CHETICHE LOVES*chetiche's hand covers her mouth* *Lucky gets away*SHE LOVES TROWA!!MWAHAHAHA!!!Chetiche:DIE!!! Lucky:Yipe!

Trowa: *looses the zero look…actually SMILES*

Cherry Blossom: There you go, Trowa. Someone loves you.

Trowa: Thank you.

Duo: And he talks! It's a miracle!

Trowa: *glares* Shut up.

Duo: Eep.

Matteo: Like I said Great Series!!!!*runs*Chetiche:Yeah great..come back here so I can kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh we had waaayyy to much Pepsi and Cherry you're on our Fave author's list and this story is on our fave story list and we worship you like My sister worships Wufei!(Lets not go there)JA NE!

Quatre: You have worshippers, Wufei?

Wufei: Doesn't everybody?

Quatre: *sweatdrops*

Matteo: Desperate Angel says,

Oooh..I never thought watching people suffer could be so much fun *goes evil chibi* Hmm..almost makes me want to dig up my old Lit book out and find some really good ones. *evil laugh* Hmm..I do kind of feel bad for Wu-fee. Quatre too. They really don't deserve this sort of treatment. *grins* They deserve some of the poems I had in my Contempt Lit class. MWAhahahaha *coughspurt* Erm..anyway. Keep on the good work! ~DA~

Quatre and Wufei: *blinks* Huh? 

Matteo: Sabacat writes,

boy i hope those poets didn't get paid for that crap.... if they did, then i'm in the wrong business. ---that was funny once again! love it!

Cherry Blossom: Unfortunately, since all of these poems were published it's safe to assume that the writers must have gotten SOME money for that trash. But hopefully, they're all dead now and have no use for money. 

Matteo: Starwolf Magic writes,

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! i feel sorry for the g-boys... then again maybe not. lol ^_^; Please write more!! Hey Heero, if you try to kill me i'll give you your own "Death Glare!" HAH! take that. *smiles innocently*

Heero: PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE??!!!

Cherry Blossom: *thinks* No.

Matteo: If i can find one of my own crappy poems i'll send it in. anywho... Can't wait till next week!!

Cherry Blossom: And that does it for Reviewer's Corner. 

Matteo: *gasps for breath* Need…water…quickly…

Cherry Blossom: On to the main event!

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene changes to a darkened theater where five familiar figures are seated.

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of thin air* Guess what guys—

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *pouts* I haven't even said anything yet.

Trowa: It doesn't matter. We know you have some more crappy poems for us, right?

Cherry Blossom: Well…yeah. But only a few.

Wufei: Not comforting.

Cherry Blossom: These poems are different. These are…………hentai poems! *crash of thunder and lightning* Okay, who keeps doing that?

Matteo: *from sound effects box* Sorry.

Heero: Hentai poems? You can't be serious.

Cherry Blossom: Oh, I'm very serious…or not. It doesn't matter. All that matter is……WE NEED TO MST THESE POEMS!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

Duo: O_0

Trowa: Have you had any sugar today?

Cherry Blossom: Noooooooooo……..why?

Wufei: You're acting hyper that's why.

Cherry Blossom: I am NOT HYPER!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Trowa: Suuure.

Cherry Blossom: *whines* I am noooooooooot. I just had some tea with Q-chan and—

Heero: How much tea?

Cherry Blossom: Um…I don't know…how much tea did we have Q-CHAN!!

Quatre: Uh…2cupsofearlgrey3cupsofblueberrymadness3cupsofredrose5cupsoforangepeking2cupsofrussianlemon—

Wufei: Heeelp.

Trowa: Don't worry. It'll wear off.

Heero: When?

Trowa: Uh…later.

Duo: *sweatdrops*

Cherry Blossom: Enough of this lollygagging around!! Let's get to the POEMS!

Wufei: Lolly..what?

Cherry Blossom: POEMS!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Matteo: WAIT!! Disclaimer first.

Cherry Blossom: Huh? Oh yeah. CUE THE DISCLAIMER!!

Disclaimer: I own EVERYTHING!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

G-Boyz: O__0

Cherry Blossom: My GOD that was BRILLIANT!!

Trowa: Riiiiight.

Cherry Blossom: READ THE POEM!!

Matteo: *clears throat*

__

Look, the Lambs Are All Around Us!

Quatre: Noooooooooo!!! *weeps* It's the sheep I tell you! THE SHEEP!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry Q-man. I'll protect you from the bad sheep.

Trowa: I have a bad feeling about this.

Duo: Trust the force, Trowa.

Everybody else: O_0

Duo: What?

__

By: Irving Layton

Cherry Blossom: Yet, another male poet.

Heero: Shut up.

__

Your figure, love, 

curves itself 

into a man's memory;

Wufei: *gag*

Heero: Could we adjust the heat in here?

Cherry Blossom: Just wait. It get hotter.

G-Boyz: *scream*

__

Or to put it the way

A junior prof 

at Mount Allison might,

Helen with her thick

Absconding limbs

Duo: O_0

Quatre: What does absconding mean?

Wufei: You do NOT want to know.

Quatre: Yes I do.

__

About the waist

Of Paris

Did no better

Duo: Um…the girl's got her legs wrapped around the city of Paris? 

Cherry Blossom: No, no, no. Helen and Paris are people in Greek Mythology.

Wufei: Very kinky people in Greek Mythology.

Cherry Blossom: And that's enough out of you.

__

Hell, my back's sunburnt 

From so much love-making

In the open air.

Duo: Wait a minute. They're doing it outside? EWWWW!!!

Cherry Blossom: Ecchi, ecchi, ecchi!!

Quatre: *big eyes*

Heero: Must…get…gun….

__

The Primate (somebody

Made a monkey of him)

Duo: *flatly* Ha ha. That was so funny.

__

And the Sanhedrin

(long on the beard, short

on the braid)

Trowa: Wow. That's harsh.

Dilly: *pops in outta nowhere* BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!! *pops back out*

G-Boyz: O_0

Heero: What the hell was that? 

Cherry Blossom: Cameo appearance. He does my book-keeping.

heard somewhere in the theater

Dilly: BUUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNNNNN EVIL TAX BOOOOOOOKSSSSSS!!! YES, LOVELY!!! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Er…yeah.

__

Send envoys to say 

they don't approve.

Quatre: Well they should. Making out in public like that…

__

You never see them, love.

You toss me in the air

With such abandon,

Trowa: Either Irving is a very light man or his lover is extremely beefy.

Cherry Blossom: Trowa! Was that a joke?

Trowa: ….

__

They take to their heels and run.

G-Boyz: RUN AWAY!! RUN AWAY!!

Cherry Blossom: This Monty Python Moment was brought to you by the makers of Crappy Poem Theater.

Heero: Wouldn't that be you?

Cherry Blossom: Well…yes.

__

I tell you

Each kiss of your 

Is like a blow on the head!

Duo: And this guy's had waaaaaaaaaay too many kisses.

__

What luck, 

Wufei: I wouldn't call it that…

__

what luck to be loved

by the one girl

in this Presbyterian 

country

who knows how to give

a man pleasure

Heero: *gags*

Cherry Blossom: I'm gonna file that under "Things I did NOT need to know".

Quatre: *sobs* Scarred for life.

Wufei: I hate you, Cherry.

Cherry Blossom: HEY!

Trowa: *weakly* Let's just move on.

Cherry Blossom: NEXT!

Matteo:

__

Study: 

Cherry Blossom: Nooooooo!! I don't wanna study! The test is still a week away! Math suuuuuuuuucks!!!

Trowa: *sighs*

Heero: I don't think that's what he meant.

__

The Bath

Cherry Blossom: Oh. Hehe. Silly me.

Trowa: *rolls eyes*

Cherry Blossom: Watch yourself, clown boy.

__

By: Raymond Souster

Cherry Blossom: Which proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that only men can write hentai poetry.

Wufei: *snorts*

Heero: Hn…

Trowa: It's you girls that always write the smutty romance novels.

Quatre: And how would you know that, Trowa?

Trowa: *blushes* Er—

__

In the almost subdued light

Duo: How can light be _almost_ subdued?

Wufei: Baka. It's poetry. It's not supposed to make sense.

__

Of the bathroom a woman

Duo: *stare*

Trowa: I don't like where this is headed.

__

Towel around her shoulders.

Wufei: Because when you're naked, naturally you'd want to cover up your SHOULDERS!

Quatre: N-naked?

Heero: Uh oh.

__

Drops of water glisten

On her body, slight buttocks,

G-Boyz: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quatre: AH, MY VIRGIN EARS!!

Wufei: I want OUT!

Cherry Blossom: Just think how I felt. They made us read this out loud. In CLASS. With the TEACHER listening.

__

Neck, the tight belly

Quatre: *REALLY big eyes*

Duo: Whoa…

Wufei: This is entirely inappropriate. 

Cherry Blossom: You sound like my principal.

Heero: Must…shoot…poet…

__

Fall at intervals

From the slightly plumed

Oval of crotch

Everybody: O_0

Quatre: I'm scared!!

Trowa: Just don't look.

Wufei: *blushes*

Heero: Too much information!

__

Neck bent forward

Eyes collected

All her attention gathered

Everybody: O_0

__

At the ends of her fingers

Everybody: *sighs in relief*

Duo: Phew. For a minute there I thought he was going to say—

Cherry Blossom: DON'T say it.

__

As she removes the superfluous

Dead skin from her nipples

Everybody: *blink* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: That's too hentai. Even for me.

Duo: Did NOT need to see that.

Wufei: I wanna go home.

Heero: *zero look*

Trowa: *tries to comfort Quatre* It's okay, little one.

Quatre: *sobs* No it's not. It'll never be okay again!

Cherry Blossom: *in shock* I think that's quite enough for one night.

Wufei: I think that's quite enough for a lifetime.

Duo: *snorts* Not bloody likely.

Heero: Since when did you become British?

Duo: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: Let's just go.

Quatre: I need to shower.

Cherry Blossom: If you want to send me poems—

Heero: No hentai ones….please! I don't think I could take it.

Cherry Blossom: Write to [chibicherryb@hotmail.com][1]. Thanks for watching Crappy Poem Theater.

Wufei: *bitterly* Yeah. Thanks a bunch.

Cherry Blossom: Jaa!!

Matteo: Wait! Aren't you forgetting something? What about meeeeeeeeee?

Cherry Blossom: Oh, yeah. Clean up around here, will ya? 'Night.

Matteo: *pouts*

   [1]: mailto:chibicherryb@hotmail.com



	5. Crappy Poem Theater 5

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book. 

Cherry Blossom: Hiyee, minna! This is the FIFTH episode of Crappy Poem Theater and we haven't been canceled or booted off the air or anything. Yay!

Matteo: Surprising, isn't it? I thought for sure we'd get canceled for that hentai episode last week.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, well. It wasn't on prime time anyway. And the reviews keep rolling in! *sniff* You guys are so good to me *sob*. It's nice to know that I have all this support *weep*.

Matteo: *sighs* Have a tissue.

Cherry Blossom: *blows nose noisily* Well…I'd really love to waste more time but….we only have half an hour to do this. Sooooo….let's get on with it. But first…

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: So many reviews, so little time *sigh*. Let's hear these reviews. I know you guys are just dying to see who supports this program.

Heero: Hn…

Trowa: ….

Wufei: *muttering something incomprehensible*

Quatre: *smiles weakly*

Duo: *asleep…snoring….loudly*

Cherry Blossom: *annoyed* Geez, what's with you guys? No enthusiasm at all.

Heero: Hn…

Trowa: …… : p

Wufei: *still muttering*

Quatre: *not even smiling anymore*

Duo: *snore*

Cherry Blossom: *disgusted* That's it! Wake up call! Cue Trieze!

Matteo: Cueing Trieze…now!

A ferocious, flying ball of fur in a black cape and mask zooms out onto the set and bites each of the G-Boyz in the butt…..Matteo too. Just because.

Duo: OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!

Quatre: Booooooooh! *starts to cry*

Trowa: #%$#$&*%! *$&$% #$%*^$(^$## $%^*$*#^%($^(%……and so on, and so forth etc.

Heero: Omeo o korosu!!

Matteo: Why'd you get meeeeeeeeeeeee? *starts to cry*

Cherry Blossom: Okay, is everybody awake?

Heero: I'm gunna get you Cherry.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, yeah. It gets old, Heero.

Heero: *deathglareX20* 

Duo: What the hell was that?

Cherry Blossom: Trieze, the security Hamster. Green-chan's letting me borrow him for today's episode. Thanks a bunch, Trieze.

Trieze: *grins evilly*

Wufei: I'm going to kill you, rodent!

Trieze: *shows his VERY sharp teeth*

Wufei: Or not…

Cherry Blossom: Can we get on with it now? Good. Matteo! Read!

Matteo: *still crying* You didn't have to bite meeeeeeeeeeeee. I was still awake!

Cherry Blossom: Ah for cripes sake! Here have some pocky. *throws him some pocky*

Matteo: *stops crying. Stuffs pocky in his mouth*

Quatre: Can I have some pocky?

Cherry Blossom: *thinks a bit* Sure. Just cause you're so kawaii.

Quatre: *kawaii smile*

Duo: What about me?

Cherry Blossom: Later.

Duo: But I want some NOW!

Cherry Blossom: L-A-T-E-R

Duo: *pouts*

Matteo: *with his mouth full of pocky* Our first reviewer is Teague who wrote, 

hahaha! I'm first! ... even after a trip to the toilet.. to barf... *cough* hentai poems... ewwwwwwww... the guys that wrote those are dead right? They should be after writing things like THAT!! 

Cherry Blossom: Yes the poets are ALL dead. 

Heero: I killed them myself.

Duo: *rolls eyes*

Heero: Watch yourself, death boy.

Matteo: I now feel sorry for the G-boyz... *passes pocky out to each and every one of the poor, poor, pilots* But don't stop writing them now, Cherry!

Duo: YEAH! POCKY NOW!!

G-Boyz: *stuff pocky in their mouths…except Trowa. He was rude to Cherry in green-chan's fic so he doesn't get any*

Wufei: Strawberry flavored….INJUSTICE!

Matteo: Next was Elentari who wrote, 

Aaaaahhhh!!! Give Heero back his gun, so he can go kill these guys! I don't CARE if they're already dead. 

Heero: Yeah. Give me back my gun.

Cherry Blossom: *thinks a bit* No.

Heero: Aw, come on. I promise not to kill YOU.

Cherry Blossom: And I trust you…….about as far as I can spit.

Duo: I can spit far. Wanna see?

Quatre: Ewww.

Cherry Blossom: Duo, this is a $300 Persian carpet. If you spit on this I'm gunna have to get Trieze on your ass. Understand?

Duo: *looks over at Trieze who is using a random knife (NO I don't know where it came from) to pick his teeth* Gotcha. No spitting.

Matteo: No, no more hentai poems, Heero. Those are SCARY! Wonderfully funny, as always. Keep writing! Sorry Quatre, you know I love ya, but it's soooo much fun to torture Heero!

Heero: I'm glad SOMEBODY'S having fun.

Trowa: ….no you're not.

Heero: Shut up.

Matteo: Sabacat writes,

LOL 'the bath' was totally icky! Heero definitely needed his gun for that one! ...and maybe instead of throwing Duo pocky, next time you could toss him Hilde! ^_^ she could keep him occupied and quiet for a LONG time! (shameless prod for a LEMON!) ^_~

Duo: *pleading look*

Cherry Blossom: No.

Duo: Aw smeg!

Matteo: Rebecca the Great writes,

::SHUDDER:: Gah! What nasty icky poems! 

Quatre: *shudders* You're telling ME. I'm scarred for life.

Matteo: But I got to see Fei-babe blush! Kawaii! And he thinks I'm great! ^_^ Hey, where do you think I got the name? A smirking, blushing Wufei that thinks I'm great... ::resists urge to swoon:: I just love this series of stories. ^_~

Wufei: I did NOT blush.

Duo: Yes you did.

Wufei: Prove it.

Duo: *pulls out last weeks script* See?

Wufei: *reads it* INJUSTICE!

Cherry Blossom: Yes, we know. Blushing is an injustice, strawberry flavored pocky is an injustice, EVERYTHING is an injustice.

Wufei: Are you mocking me, onna?

Cherry Blossom: ….no.

Wufei: Good.

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

*shuttering* Feel... so... dirty... and .. not.. in a ... fun way! *stops shaking and blinks* That was not a nice thing to do to Duo (.. oh yea, and the rest of them... I guess... [but it way so funny, you guys!])! ..Of course, that wasn't nice of your English teacher to do to you, either... *shrugs*

Cherry Blossom: My English teacher is—

G-Boyz: THE DEVIL!

Duo: We know.

Matteo: Good thing there was that MSTing to break up the horror of it all, or I might have done some things that would have gotten me arrested. *sighs* Oi, and no more bashing in our reviews...? *grinz* Come on, itz all in good fun ^_^ That is unless we're talking about... *shutters again* no I won't even mention the psycho-stalker woman's name. 

Heero: Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou.

Matteo: And Wufei, if I knew someone was going to say you were weaker than a woman, I would not have made the moutain lion comment. *whispers* (And I did the re-evaluation, and your ass is still finer.) 

Wufei: *smirks*

Cherry Blossom: I still say Zechs has the cutest ass.

Matteo: *returns to normal voice* I would give you some pocky to make up for it (and some to Duo just 'cause I could), but SOMEONE *glares behind her at her tied and gagged former partner-in-crime, Hwoarang* ate it all!! *gives him a "I-will-hurt-you-severely-for-this-offence-if-not-kill-you" look, and he struggles, trying in vain to free himself* Anyway... keep up the good work, Cherry :) 

Duo: *lower lip trembles* No more pocky?

Cherry Blossom: For cripes sake, you've had three boxes this morning!

Duo: *pouts* I like pocky.

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego writes, 

O_o;;; That was scary.... Poor Q-man's gonna have a nervous breakdown. *snaps out of it* Hey Cherry, did you get those poems I sent ya'? (IhopeIhopeIhope) ^__^ Keep up the good work people!

Cherry Blossom: Yes I got the poems and they were most crappy. I'll try and work them into next week's program. That is…if my English teacher doesn't give me any more for an actual assignment *shudder*.

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes, 

I'm baaaaaack! THE ONE AND ONLY TWICE-REVIEWER! Hee hee ... "MY VIRGIN EARS!" [comforts poor Q-chan] It's okay, hun. Eeep! Those were some scary poets. o.Ov I'm scarred for life. Just the mention of hose kinds of people makes me want to take a chainsaw to someone's head ...[looks pointedly at Wufei] 

Wufei: What?

Matteo: And if (WHEN *coughcoughcough*) I get registered you will most DEFINATELY be on my favorite author's list. I hate hentais. 

Cherry Blossom: Actually I'm a member of the Happy Hentai People's Club. Of course, we only do TASTEFUL lemons.

Trowa: Oh, of course.

Cherry Blossom: I thought I told you to stop your shit, clown boy.

Duo: Oooh. Somebody's got a potty mouth.

Cherry Blossom: I'm having a bad week.

Matteo: Especially when they're poets. [marks in little booklet entitled, "People to violently murder in the near furture when I don't have so much homework that I'm literally drowning in it"]

Duo: I'd like to drown in pocky.

Cherry Blossom: Would you FORGET about the pocky already?

Matteo: Kiyone writes, 

Ewww,.... poor GW guys, they're traumatized...i would be too, those poems were just NASTY!!....lol..but they did make me laugh, nevertheless....Write more! I'll find you more poems!!!

Quatre: Noooooooo! No more poems!

Duo: Relax, Q-man. As long as there is pocky everything is okay.

Cherry Blossom: Mention pocky one more time…

Matteo: Ginga writes,

Eww....that poem was disgusting. That guy must've had a lot of free time on his hands. I'm going to go search far and wide for more poems for you to use. Gomen, G-boyz...but it must be done.

Heero: You are NOT forgiven. 

Cherry Blossom: Aw, come on. I know you guys really love doing this deep inside.

G-Boyz: O_0

Cherry Blossom: Or not… 

Matteo: Caro-chan writes, 

Eeeeeeeewww... that was scary. Dilly-sama had a cameo!!! YAY!!! Hi Dilly-sama!!! (waves) More more more more more more more MORE!!! Me like!!! ^_^

Cherry Blossom: Yes, Dilly-sama is a good friend. HEY DILLY! GET OUT HERE AND SAY HELLO!

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!! *sets fire to all of Cherry Blossom's unpaid electricity bills, car bills, telephone bills, chain letters…*

Cherry Blossom: He's just so damn useful to have around.

Matteo: Mistress of Death writes,

I luv this, this is so funny. Here Heero, a nice shiny gun so you can start killing the poets *evil grin* More dammit.

Heero: Hehehe.

Cherry Blossom: *takes the gun away*

Heero: HEY!

Cherry Blossom: No fire arms. You can have this if you want to shoot something. *hands Heero a water gun*

Heero: *sulks but takes the water gun anyway*

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Chetiche Barton write, 

Lucky:Sorry...didn't send you a poem...yet...Chetiche:Incompetent baka!Lucky:As soon as I'm done reviewing this totally kewl,(Prepare for a whole buncha words)psycoticscarycoolinterestingderangeddementedcrazyinsanepsycopathic story

Quatre: *blinks*

Matteo: I'm gonna send some poems.Chetiche:Please don't be hard on my Trowa-baby!!!!^_~

Trowa: *smirks*

Cherry Blossom: Nuh uh. You were rude to me in Green-chan's fic, remember? I'm not letting you off that easy.

Trowa: *sulks*

Matteo: Lucky:Poor hee-kun...*sigh*not hyper anymore.Cherry,I'm so glad I don't go to your school.Mine's weirder though...Ja!!!Chetiche:JA NE!!!!!!!!!!Lucky:Peace!Keep writin!

Cherry Blossom: No my school is definitely the weirdest. Last week our history teachers had a toilet paper war in the hallway.

G-Boyz: O_o

Cherry Blossom: 'S true.

Matteo: Jadet writes, 

::laughing REALLY hard:: Buwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Gomen, Heero-chan but that was hilarious!! And that is SOOOOOO true too, Cherry, only MEN ::glares at Wufei:: can come up with such obscene crap. ::takes pity on Heero-chan and throws him a plastic gun that *cannot* shoot should make him feel better(hey at least now you can shoot at them!):: There, now you can't say I don't love you. Jya ne Cherry, keep em commin!! ^.~

Heero: Now I have two guns…

Duo: PLASTIC guns.

Heero: *shoot Duo with the water gun*

Duo: *sputter, sputter*

Matteo: Hawk aka Anneliese writes, 

big puppy dog eyes* "I'm sorry Wu-man, I'll be nicer if it really really hurt your feelings, after all we dont wanna see men cry" . 

Wufei: I did not cry.

Duo: Umm…

Cherry Blossom: Just leave it alone, Maxwell.

Matteo: Hey HEERO!!!! If ya want ta kill me, e-mail me and I'll send you my address and you can come kill me:) 

Heero: Hn…You're as bad as the stalker woman.

Duo: You mean Rel—

Heero: *claps a hand over Duo's mouth* Don't. She has spies, everywhere.

Matteo: I'll send you those crappy poems as soon as i bring my textbook home, Cherry-sama. I love your show and I hope you never run out of poems!!! 

Quatre: *sniffle* Don't any of you care about our sanity?

Cherry Blossom: *thinks a bit* No.

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes, 

Where does someone get dead skin on their nipples? Eugh.... I cant believe you had to read this stuff in class, you poor thing... 

Cherry Blossom: Pity me.

Matteo: Annnywaayyy...Dang, you get alot of reveiws! 

Cherry Blossom: *smiles smugly*

Matteo: Maybe I should start showcasing my reveiws in my fic... but only about 30 people read each chapter of The Underground anyway... Nobody loves me.. Wait, I know! WOOFIE LOVES ME!! ::hugs Woofie:: Yes, I know he does! He's just a big snugglycakes underneath that plaster head shell of his. Thats why i'm gonna donate him to the Salvation army for another deserving child to love. I already have a snuggle boy, my Rudo-chan. Aint he cute? --Cleckmoon! The amazing hare person that drives the GW boys to speechlesnes, and already has ideas for a followup to The Underground (and actualy has a better plot structure for it...).

Cherry Blossom: MORE UNDERGROUND!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *runs amuck for several minutes in extreme hyperness*

Matteo: Er…TrowasGirl writes, 

Oh my poor Trowa! He had to deal with that torture! Although it was very funny! You should really keep Duo! Never Let him go! *flashback scenes of the Titanic* He pretty much Deserves it. *Gets it in the head with a familiar cross* Was that supposed to hurt Duo? What ever Thanks for the Cross! * puts cross on* Oh yeah! Please don't be 2 mean to my T-chan! Love ya lots, Trowa! Write again soon Cherry Blossom!

Trowa: *opens his mouth*

Cherry Blossom: Don't even say it, clown boy.

Trowa: *closes his mouth*

Duo: *pouts* My cross…

Matteo: Nixa writes,

I can honestly say that I think that was truly the worst poetry ever written. Love the fics! I LOVE YOU TROWA!!!!!

Wufei: *sulks* Everybody loves Trowa.

Quatre: Isn't that a t.v. show or something?

Cherry Blossom: Oooh fic idea!

Matteo: Disturbed writes,

Ewwww!

Duo: See Heero? Disturbed thinks that tank-top is ugly, too.

Heero: *shoots water gun at Duo*

Duo: *sputter, sputter, choke*

Matteo: CLS writes,

*gags* That was gross. Still lookin for crappy poems (I have found some bad ones, but me thinks they are not bad enough) More poems *goes chibi* PWWWWEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEE *changes back* Don`t worry Heero, I don`t hate you. You`re too cute ^^.

Heero: *smug grin*

Quatre: *sulks* I'm the most kawaii.

Matteo: Kai writes, 

OH MY GOD!!! ::can't breathe...is laughing too hard:: MORE!!! (Dramatically) "Whilst the despair of the trodden life surrounds me, my weak mind succumbs to the eternal rest found in Crappy Poem Theater." 

Duo: In other words………we love sadistic torture. Give us more!

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes,

Oo They read that at School? Have you tried some of the British poets yet? Like the Little Lamb from Songs of Innocence? 

Quatre: NO SHEEP!

Duo: Easy man. There are no sheep here.

Matteo: Weird poem and I actually liked some of those ^^; And if you put that kawaii Duo into torture like those again I'll smuggle Heero a gun ^^;v By the way, still alive, what happened to those little death threats? tee hee

Heero: I'm taking a break from killing. You know…a vacation.

Wufei: *snorts* Yuy on vacation. Now that's funny.

Matteo: Shinimegami Winner writes,

*Thunder and Lightening, Shini appears in a poof of smoke* Mwaahahahaha! Continue! I beckon!!! Thou art truly funny... Eh, what can I say, I'm a sadist... hell, I'm the goddess of death... *grabs a small, bleating lamb* How do you like my new pet lammy,... QUATRE?!!! Mwaahaha hahaha! *Disappears in another poof of smoke*

Quatre: *tries to hide behind Trowa* Noooooooooo!! The sheep!

Wufei: What is it with you and sheep?

Duo: Don't ask…

Matteo: Libra writes,

.....mph......*tries so hard not to laugh*........Ah....aha.....AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! That is so funny, i forgot to laugh!!! ......???!!!!......oh wait....I just did.....well....I give it two thumbs up!!!! And my saiyan tail.......heh.....well, I am a saiyan!!! Libra......da da da daaaaaa!!!!!! Oh man......I think i had too much sugar......

Trowa: You think?

Cherry Blossom: You know, you're getting real good at this sarcasm thing, Trowa.

Trowa: Thank you.

Cherry Blossom: That wasn't a compliment.

Matteo: Tora Darien and Donnie Duck 

Donnie: hi Miss Cherry! Darien: Ossu Cherry-chan and Matteo-chan. 

Cherry Blossom: Konnichiwa Darien and Donnie!

Matteo: I really enjoy your fanfic's. This crappy poem theater is such an original idea. In Japan we don't have such cool authors as you. Donnie(points to Darien): he's from Japan! He just moved to New Jersey this year! He's my best friend! Darien(smiling): Hai, its true. I'm an original Japanese teen! I love anime,too. Gundam Wing is one of my 6 favorites. (sighs) my tomodatchi, Donnie-chan only likes Pokemon. Donnie: Psyduck rules! 

Trowa: Nah…I like pikachu.

Wufei: Feh. People who watch pokemon are weak.

Duo: Don't you watch pokemon, Wu-man?

Wufei: Why would I want to watch a show about an electric rodent?

Duo: How did you know that pikachu is an electric rodent if you don't watch?

Wufei: *sweatdrop*

Matteo: Darien(anime sweatdrop): anou... didja know Donnie-chan acts and looks like Quatre-san. Sora wa cho hen na!

Duo: Looks like you have another clone, Q-man.

Quatre: *groan* Not AGAIN!

Cherry Blossom: It's just cause you're so kawaii! Everybody wants to be like you. *starts to sing a really annoying song by Snow and stops when she realizes that no one is listening* 

Matteo: Donnie: I don't know who any of these gundam people are but there funny! (laughes) Darien: they are funny. Cherry-chan, please, for the love of god, keep Wufei-san there forever. He reminds me of my arch rival Lee-chan, that girl is a chinese exchange student at our school. we...anou...don't get along well. (mumbles) self-rightous chinese bakas. don't they know Japan is better then there crappy nation? 

Wufei: *eyes glow red* INJUSTICE! WE CHINESE ARE A THOUSAND TIMES BETTER THAN ANYONE FROM JAPAN!

Heero: *points water gun at Wufei* Omeo o korosu.

Cherry Blossom: Let's not offend anybody from other nations, kay? I wanna keep this show on the air a little longer. Besides, we all know that out of all the people of the world……..CANADA KICKS ASS!!! WHOO HOO!!!

Quatre: Canada?

Duo: She's a canuck.

Cherry Blossom: *sings a few bars of the Pirates of Saskatchewan Song*

Matteo: Donnie: um,Darien? This review is getting kinda long. Maybe we should stop so poor Matteo ( who should be better treated be Miss Cherry hint,hint ) won't be out of breath. k? Darien: hai. Donnie: BTW- i saw a pic of Quatre and he does look like me! He also kinda looks like Chad from MTV's Togather show. strange,huh? Darien: um-hm. Lets leave Donnie-chan. Donnie: okay! Bye Miss Cherry! Bye Matteo! I wish you gundam boys the best of luck of living through this! Darien: ja ne Cherry-san and Matteo-san. Ja ne honorable pilots. (slips Heero some lock-pics and a very small gun) You might need these. ( holds up hands ) just don't shoot the messinger! Sayonora! ( Darien and Donnie leave, hurriedly, so they don't get shot by Heero )

Heero: *smiles and fingers gun*

Cherry Blossom: *takes gun away from Heero* NO.

Heero: *pouts*

Matteo: Can I have a break, Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: *thinks for a bit* No.

Matteo: *pouts* Fine. Megan writes,

Yuck.....that last poem was gross!!!

Trowa: I thought they were ALL pretty gross.

Wufei: Hence the R rating.

Matteo: Dark Heart says, 

OMG! Somehow, that was even worse than a lemon! I can't imagine reading that in class! But still, it was really funny! Might I ask a question? Of course I can, this is my review. How can Wufei, Mr. Big Tough Justice Man, almost cry from a couple of little reviews? WUFEI IS SUCH AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!!! HEERO HAS THE HOTTEST ASS EVER, AND WUFEI HIDES HIS BUTT WITH THOSE FREAKY PANTS!!!!!!! 

Wufei: You shall die, onna.

Matteo: I challenge Wufei to a sword fight! Bet it'll be embarrassing if he loses to some weak little onna. Okay, got a little carried away. Write another one soon!

Wufei: Hmph. I would've WON.

Cherry Blossom: I know you would've, Wu-bear. I thought I said no bashing. From now on any bashing reviews will be given to Trieze for shredding.

Trieze: *grins*

Matteo: Dariana Night writes, 

ROTFL!! nice sakura,I mean Cherry Blossom. But I thought I told you to be nicer to Wu-Koi! (whispers to Wufei) see you tonight koibito ^_^ *blows kisses* 

Wufei: *blushes*

Duo: And who was THAT, Wu-man? You got a girl we don't know about?

Wufei: *growls* Shut up, Maxwell.

Matteo: Little green says, 

Hiyyaaaaa Cerise-chan!! We're back!!! If you want, I can send Michaël to punish the guys who wrote 'em!! NDLR : These are not what you study in class, eh?? 

Cherry Blossom: Unfortunately…..yes.

Matteo: O_O;;; NEway, a great hilarious, incredible and... cool fic, as always!! THE MOLEMAN SPECIAL COMMENT : CHERRY BLOSSOM, YA BETTER DRAW YOURSELF IN AN ATOMICALLY SEXY ANIME GIRL CUZ', IF YA STILL WANT TO, YOU'LL BE OUR #21!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: Thank you Moleman! I luv youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

Matteo: [Seriously, E.mail me if you allow me to use you and dear Matteo in part 3! You'll tell me what I'm supposed to make you both say!]

Cherry Blossom: *proudly* I was a finalist! *glares at Trowa* No thanks to you. 

Trowa: *glares back*

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

Poor Quatre...::holds up a box of Pocky:: Want some? My dad works for an oriental supermarket, so I have crates full in my living room. Pretty hard to watch t.v. Wufei and Trowa can have some too. ^O^ Trowa no kawaii! I'm still searching so...yeah. Keep writing!(note to Heero: Go to the back room of the theatre , I have an automatic and rifle a waiting...wait Cherry and the rest are reading this. Damnit! Nevermind then.) 

Duo: More pocky!

Heero: More guns!

Cherry Blossom: No and no.

Duo and Heero: *sulk*

Matteo: Meg Uchuno writes,

Ossu Blossom-san! How's it going? ::smiles evily::ossu Duo and Wufei. Waz up? Hey Heero, I got ya a gift. Here's a gun. One condition,though. You have to get it out of Relena's hand. ::steps aside to show Relena holding a gun looking very puzzled:: ~.^ I am just so evil ::insert evil laugh here:: 

Heero: No! Keep her away!

Cherry Blossom: Trieze could you escort our umm…guest outside, please?

Trieze: *shows Relena to the door*

Matteo: Um, Sorry Quatre for insulting you, I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me! Your my 3rd fav pilot. Trowa is my 4th and Heero is dead last. Anyway... ::turns to watch Relena shoot of the gun at Heero:: Relena-oh Heeeeeeeeero! Omae o korosuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! ::Meg plugs her ears:: sorry for bring Relena into this Blossom-san! 

Cherry Blossom: Yes, you'd better be sorry. My poor eardrums…

Matteo: ::watches with amusment while Relena fires the gun off more at Heero, barely missing the 'perfect solder':: BTW- Matteo-san you rule!

Trieze: *shoves Relena outside*

Cherry Blossom: *breathes a sigh of relief* 

Matteo: Desperate Angel writes,

Making the G Pilots review hentai poems..that's just wrong. I mean *snicker* what about their *snicker* inno*snicker*cent *snicker* virgin minds? Especially Duo...I mean.... *coughs*...he's certainly the most innocent of the lot. *nods* 

Duo: Is she making fun of me?

Cherry Blossom: Oh nooooooo.

Matteo: That Irvine guy's poem was just..odd. Makes me see mythology in a whole new light though. The second one wasn't so bad...except for that last bit about nipples and skin and all. That was..erm...too much. Anyway, I think I have a poem or two for ya *glances at Contempt Lit book, at the G pilots, then back at the book* Hmm...maybe even that'd be too much for 'em. I really don't want their heads to explode. Plus, I think my protector's pissed at me *looks at Sei-chan and sighs* Heh..I guess having Relena fall for him's too much, eh? *evil laugh* Maybe if I give him some Nilla.... Anyway, great series, Chibs-chan. Keep up the good work and see if you can't get Trowa-kun to talk a bit more *whisper* I hear he's ticklish *grins and winks* Bie.

Quatre: Is that true, Trowa-kun?

Trowa: …no

Duo: so you wouldn't mind if I did….this? *starts to tickle Trowa*

Trowa: *tries to hold in laughter* Mmph….hmphmm….mahahAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! DUO!! I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

Matteo: SaiyanGrrrl666 writes, 

Hiya! I wanted to say that that poem *cough* Study *cough* is just a little bit on the um...informational side! I just want to wish all the G-boys luck( poor Quatre *sniff*) And give Duo a big Huug!Ja! 

Cherry Blossom: Okay! *glomps Duo*

Duo: Oof.

Cherry Blossom: Well, that's it for Reviewer's Corner. Now on to the poems.

Wufei: Joy.

Trowa: Rapture.

Heero: Bliss.

Duo: Goody.

Quatre: Great.

Cherry Blossom: *points to Trieze* ENTHUSIASM.

Wufei: Alright! Poems!

Duo: YEAH!

Heero: Hn… (It's as enthusiastic as he can get)

Trowa: Lovely!

Quatre: Oh boy!

Cherry Blossom: That's better. 

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene changes to a darkened theater where five familiar figures are seated.

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of nowhere* Hey guys, it's December. You know what that means?

Quatre: Christmas!

Duo: Pocky!

Wufei: Snow….injustice!

Trowa: What was the question?

Heero: Hn… 

Cherry Blossom: Wrong, wrong, and wrong. It means…………ADVENT CALENDARS! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Quatre: *confused* What's an advent calendar?

Duo: It's chocolate! Yay!

Cherry Blossom: *passes out advent calendars to all the G-Boyz* YES! CHOCOLATE! ADVENT CALENDARS!!

Trowa: I'm guessing you've already had your chocolate.

Cherry Blossom: *blinks* What makes you say that?

Duo: *tries to open the little…box…section-thingie to get the chocolate out of the calendar* It won't open! *starts to cry*

Cherry Blossom: Let me Du-chan. *beckons Trieze*

Trieze: *rips open the entire calendar with his teeth*

Duo: Yipee! *stuffs chocolate in his mouth*

Cherry Blossom: Thanks Trieze. *kisses him* You're a sweetie.

Trieze: *blushes*

Trowa: I got a little midget elf guy. What'd you get, Heero?

Heero: A weird looking bird.

Duo: Cool! It's a little Deathscythe!

Cherry Blossom: Let me see that. *looks* That's a Christmas tree.

Duo: Oh.

Quatre: I got doubles! Look! 

Matteo: Wow. That's lucky. 

Wufei: Mine's empty. INJUSTICE!! *starts to cry*

Quatre: *gives his extra chocolate to Wufei cause he's soooooooooo nice*

Wufei: *sniff* Thanks Quatre.

Cherry Blossom: Well that took up a lot of time. Let's get on to the poems.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: Oh, stop that. Cue the disclaimer.

Matteo: Cueing the disclaimer…….now!

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is not mine. The poems are not mine. I did not invent advent calendars. Are you finished rubbing it in?

Duo: Is it just me, or is the disclaimer person getting bitter?

Heero: It's just you.

Quatre: What's on the schedule today?

Cherry Blossom: Today is special. We have…………Shakespeare's greatest flops! Woo hoo! Special thanks to Lucky Yuy and Hinode who sent in the poems we're going to be MSTing.

Wufei: Yeah, thanks bunches.

Trowa: But no hentai poems.

Cherry Blossom: No hentai poems. Even I can't keep THAT up.

Heero: Can we get on with it?

Duo: what's it to you, Heero? Got a date tonight?

Heero: *shoots water gun at Duo*

Duo: *squeezes water out of his braid* Ya know, I'm getting reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaalllllllllly tired of that.

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: Right. MATTEO! GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!!

Matteo: I'm not coming out.

Cherry Blossom: Why not?

Matteo: I look stupid.

Cherry Blossom: Aw, come on. It's a great outfit. You look…….authentic.

Matteo: NO.

Cherry Blossom: Hate to have to do this but……*mentions to Trieze who chases Matteo out onto the stage*

Matteo: *wearing traditional Shakespearian costume with tights and ruffles and hose and all that junk* I hate you.

Cherry Blossom: You look great!

Duo: *holding in laughter* Mmph….nice tights ya got there Matt-chan.

Matteo: *glares at Duo*

Cherry Blossom: READ!

Matteo: *clears throat* 
__

William Shakespeare

Quatre: We know. It's the Shakespeare episode. You told us. Get on with it. 

__

  * from Macbeth, Act V, Scene VIII, L21-26

Duo: Is that the one with the skull?

Heero: That's Hamlet. This is the one with the bloody dagger.

Duo: Oh.

__

Accursed be that tongue that tells me so,

Trowa: Tells me so what?

Quatre: So what?

Wufei: Exactly.

Cherry Blossom: Okay, you lost me there.

__

For it has cow'd my better part of man!

Duo: *snickers* And what part would _that_ be?

Quatre: I thought you said no more hentai poems.

Cherry Blossom: This isn't hentai. I _swear._

And be these jugging fiends no more believed,

Duo: That's you, Trowa!

Trowa: Huh?

Duo: You know…….juggling fiends?

Wufei: Baka. That's JUGGING fiends.

Duo: What's a jugging fiend?

Wufei: *shrugs* 

__

That palter with us in a double sense;

That keep the word of promise to our ear,

And break it to our hope! -- I'll not fight with thee.

Quatre: Well that's good. No one should be fighting.

Cherry Blossom: Doesn't matter. Everybody dies at the end of the play anyway.

Trowa: What was the point of that speech?

Duo: There wasn't one. Shakespeare likes to ramble on. A lot.

Wufei: Unlike you.

Duo: *cute, incoherent sputtering noises*

Cherry Blossom: Moving along….

Matteo: 

__

Blow, Blow, Thou Winter Wind

Cherry Blossom: At least it's seasonal.

__

--from "As You Like It" (1599-1600) II:vii

Heero: I'd like it better if there were no more poems.

Duo: Heero, was that a joke?

Heero: Hn…

__

Blow, blow, thou winter wind,

Cherry Blossom: Didn't we already hear this?

Duo: Whoa, déjà vu!

__

Thou art not so unkind

As man's ingratitude;

Wufei: Riiiiiiight.

__

Thy tooth is not so keen,

Quatre: The wind has teeth?

Duo: Only medieval winds. They're extinct now.

Quatre: Really?

Trowa: Quatre, he's kidding. 

__

Because thou art not seen,

Although thy breath be rude.

Cherry Blossom: Breathmints, anybody?

Duo: *sings the mentos song* Nothing get's to YOU, staying fresh staying cool….

Heero: Stop that. 

__

Heigh-ho! sing, heigh-ho! unto the green holly:

Everybody: O_0

Wufei: Drugs. It has to be drugs.

Duo: Willie was into pot. 

__

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly:

Cherry Blossom: Pessimism much?

Trowa: Oh nooooooo.

__

Then, heigh-ho, the holly!

This life is most jolly.

Wufei: Someone's a little too jolly.

Quatre: At least he rhymes…..some of the time.

__

Freeze, freeze, thou bitter sky,

That dost not bite so nigh

Quatre: Again with the teeth thing.

Cherry Blossom: Would you forget about the teeth already!

__

As benefits forgot:

Though thou the waters warp,

Thy sting is not so sharp

As friend remembered not.

Heero: And once again, all attempt at syntax is ignored.

Duo: Is it the water that's stinging or the wind?

Quatre: No, no. The wind is biting….with tee—

Cherry Blossom: Don't say it.

__

Heigh-ho! Sing—

Cherry Blossom: Okay, that's enough of that. I can't take much more singing. Next!

Matteo: 

__

O, that you were yourself! but, love, you are

No longer yours than you yourself live here.

Everybody: *blank stare*

Duo: Wha?

Trowa: Coherence is a good thing.

Wufei: Apparently not to Willie. 

__

Against this coming end you shall prepare,

Duo: Yes! It's the end of the world I tell you! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! *runs amuck for awhile*

Heero: Maybe you shouldn't have given him the pocky AND the advent calendar.

Wufei: You think?

Cherry Blossom: Don't know WHAT you're talking about. *goes off to run amuck with Duo*

__

And your sweet wemblance to some other give.

Quatre: What's a weblance?

Duo: I'll get that wascaly wabbit!

Trowa: Duo?

Duo: Yes?

Trowa: Shut it.

Duo: *pouts*

__

So should that beauty which you hold in lease

Find no determination; then you were

Yourself again after yourself's decease,

Cherry Blossom: Anybody get that? No? Good. Let's move on.__

bear.

Quatre: BEAR! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Wufei: WHERE IS IT? WHERE'S THE BEAR? I'LL KILL THE WEAKLING!

Cherry Blossom: Guuuuuys.

__

Who lets so fair a house fall to decay,

Which husbandry in honour might uphold

Cherry Blossom: Yes! Proof that Willie thinks that husbands should do the housework!

Trowa: I don't think that's what he's trying to say.

Cherry Blossom: Hey, I can interpret anyway I want.

__

Against the stormy gusts of winter's day

And barren rage of death's eternal cold?

O, none but unthrifts! 

Heero: Unthrifts?

Quatre: It's not a word. Trust me. 

__

Dear my love, you know

You had a father--let your son say so.

Trowa: Mm hmm. Right. Well. That was truly an enlightening experience. Call me when hell freezes over 'kay?

Duo: I didn't get it.

Wufei: That's okay. Nobody expected you to.

Quatre: Can I go home now?

Cherry Blossom: Sure. We could all use a rest. So until next time—

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Next person that cuts me off is getting some quality time with Trieze and Dilly.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Trieze: * evil grin*

G-Boyz: *shut up* 

Cherry Blossom: Remember to leave a review (NO BASHING) and tune in next time for Crappy Poem Theater. If you have a crappy poem to submit write to [chibicherryb@hotmail.com][1]. Jaa!! 

   [1]: mailto:chibicherryb@hotmail.com



	6. Crappy Poem Theater 6

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak imitation of Masterpiece theater theme being played on a kazoo is heard in the background. Vid-cam zooms in on a small library-type room and a comfy red easy chair where Cherry Blossom is currently sitting, smoking a pipe and reading a book. 

Cherry Blossom: Welcome back minna! This is the SIXTH episode of 'Theater and I just want to take a minute to thank all my devoted fans.

Wufei: DIEEEEEEEEEE!!!! DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Er….yeah. Well, I just want you guys to know that I appreciate all the reviews and poems you've sent in, even if the Evil Mr. Thorpe— 

*crash of thunder and lightning* 

Cherry Blossom: *sigh* Matteo…

Matteo: It wasn't me this time, I SWEAR.

Cherry Blossom: Then who…?

Duo: *up in the sound effects box* Hiyee guys! Nice view! I can see…..the ceiling from here. Hmmm….someone needs to give this place a good cleaning.

Heero: Duo you baka! Get down here, now.

Duo: 'Kay. *tries to exit the sound affects box via the ladder. Ladder falls over. Duo grabs onto the GIGANTIC tree that the Gratuitous Evil Laughter Club has donated for Christmas. Dangles there for a while* Heeeeeeeeeelp!

Wufei: Buahahahahahahaha!! You're such a moron, Maxwell.

Duo: GET ME DOWN!!

Cherry Blossom: *snickers* You look so silly. I need to break out into song….*sings* Ding Dong Merrily On High!

Duo: THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

Quatre: *grins* Yes it is.

Duo: *pouts* Es tu, Quatre?

Wufei: Es who?

Cherry Blossom: *still snickering* Hold on a sec. Matteo, could you get the ladder please?

Matteo: Sure. *puts ladder back up against the tree. Duo climbs down. But not before getting scratched numerous times by pine needles*

Duo: I've got owies. Booooooh ;_;

Cherry Blossom: Aw, c'mon. Cheer up! It's another Episode of Crappy Poem Theater! Yay!!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *wincing* I've got to invest in some earmuffs. Well, let's go straight to Reviewer's Corner.

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: Whoa. How much you wanna bet we get more mail than Santa Clause?

Duo: Ooooh, that reminds me! I have to mail in my list.

Wufei: *snorts* You actually BELIEVE in that kind of thing, Maxwell?

Quatre: You mean you don't?

Wufei: Of course not!

Duo: Well, I can see SOMEONE'S getting a big ol' lump of coal in his stocking.

Wufei: Feh.

Duo: I want a DVD player and some CD's and ummm…….a Sony Playstation and……POCKY!! LOTS AND LOTS OF POCKY!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Quatre: I need some new shirts. All the ones I have are PINK. Do you KNOW how humiliating it is to have to wear PINK SHIRTS?

Trowa: I just want to get through Christmas without having to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" or "White Christmas".

Cherry Blossom: But Tro~waaa! It's tradition!

Trowa: I hate Bing Crosby.

Wufei: You guys are all nuts.

Heero: I'm asking for a new beam cannon.

Wufei: Heero! You too?

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: We're wasting time. Matteo, could you begin the letters please?

Matteo: *clears throat* Our first reviewer was Kai who wrote, 

LOL!! I would love to cow the better part of Duo...::snickers:: 

Duo: *blushes*

Wufei: *gags*

Trowa: *looks uninterested*

Heero: *bored*

Quatre: *looks confused*

Matteo: I said 20 rosaries for you, Cherry Blossom, so that you may be delivered from the evil of these evil poems...

Cherry Blossom: Great! Wait…I'm not Catholic…

Trowa: What are you?

Cherry Blossom: Ancient Druid.

Quatre: *big eyes* Really?

Matteo: She's kidding.

Cherry Blossom: *pouts* Spoil my fun. Read!

Matteo: Okay, okay. Sheesh. Ginga writes,

*blinks* I now vow NEVER to read William Shakespeare. EVER. Who in their right mind writes about wind with teeth? 

Wufei: Willie never claimed to be in his right mind.

Duo: Nope. He was in the WRONG mind.

Heero: *groans*

Quatre: I guess that would have to be your mind, wouldn't it, Duo?

Duo: *shocked* Quatre!

Trowa and Wufei: *snicker* 

Matteo: Oh, and hi Dilly-sama!!!! I WUV YOU!!!!! 

Dilly: *from somewhere in the Theater* BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: He'd better not go near the Christmas tree….*looks of horror* Uh…I'm gonna go check on something. Excuse me. Keep reading! *pops out*

Matteo: Oh, and I wuv you too, Duo!! ^_^ Very funny Cherry!! More!! More!!

Duo: *beams* Everybody loves me!

Heero: *snorts* 

Trowa: You're just huffy because there hasn't been any Heero worshipping reviews yet.

Heero: HUFFY?!

Matteo: SaiyanGrrrl666 writes, 

heeheehee!!!! I didn't know that Willie wrote some of the most confusing stories in the history of poems!!! oh well...I still think that if things get out of hand, give Heero the gun back! I still think that Duo needs his scythe! domoreverysoonorI'lldosomethingdrastic!!!! 

Duo: Whoa! Calm down! It's only a show.

Wufei: A CRAPPY show.

Cherry Blossom: *pops back in* Hey! I heard that!

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

Those poems made no since at all. Hmm...if Hee-chan can have water guns...::tosses Heero a Super Soaker (they're the new ones, I forgot what they're called )

Heero: *pumps super soaker* Heheheh…

Everybody else: *inches away*

Cherry Blossom: I just like to remind everybody that these are LEATHER seats. Any water gets on these and I'll squash you like a bug.

Heero: : p

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

*laughing hysterically* Shakespeare is horrible! Everyone always dies in his tragedies (well, in the three I read). They tend to drop like flies in the last act... *makes a face* not to mention the incest in Hamlet. Anyway, kewl episode. But it's hard to feel pity for them this week when I've had to suffer Shakespeare, too. Oh well.. *throws out pocky to Duo and Wufei* There's the pocky I couldn't give you last week since Hwoarang ate it. He'd be here to say he's sorry, but he's still in traction... *waves and poofs*

Duo and Wufei: POCKY!!! *scarfs down pocky*

Trowa, Quatre, Heero: *pout* Hey! Where's ours?

Cherry Blossom: And me. No one ever remembers the authoress. Boooooooooh ;_;

Duo: *mouth full of pocky* But you can just zap up stuff.

Cherry Blossom: That's not the POINT! *weeps*

Matteo: *sigh* Desperate Angel says, 

Mmm...wet Duo. I like the thought of that. *throws a few buckets of water on the poor Shinigami* 

Duo: *sputter, sputter, cough* Hey! What's the big idea?!

Matteo: I think everyone ought to have a ma..erm...water gun. It could make things go much easier, ne? *evil laugh* You know, it's funny but I actually sort of....liked reading Willy's plays. I mean, yeah, they were sad as shinola and sometimes incomprehensible, but they had a certain thing going for them. 

Wufei: What's shinola?

Trowa: Isn't that the stuff you put on shoes to make them black?

Quatre: *starts laughing*

Trowa: What?

Quatre: *still laughing*

Matteo: Don't know, does that make me weird? 

Heero: YES!

Cherry Blossom: I dunno. I liked Macbeth. The witches were cool.

Matteo: Anyway, this is still the funniest thing I've read all day. I just hope the poor G-Boys don't take it too badly. Oh yeah, last thing. If you think Trowa-kun's ticklish, you should try Hee-chan. Oh well, just a suggestion. Ja ne! *glomps Quatre, blows kisses to Duo (then pours a final bucket on 'im), and offers the rest Nilla*

Quatre: Urgh.

Duo: Mmmm….kisses. Next time…CHOCOLATE KISSES!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA—splash *cough, sputter, cough* HEY!!!!

Wufei: What's Nilla?

Cherry Blossom: As long as you can eat it, I don't care. Oh…..Heero….

Heero: What?

Cherry Blossom: TICKLE TICKLE TICKLE!!!! *tickles Heero*

Heero: Wait…what are you…BuahahahahahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!! OMEO O KOROSU!!

Cherry Blossom: *sighs* That was fun.

Matteo: Mistress of Death writes, 

Why, Cherry Blossom, why did you take the gun from Heero? 

Heero: Yeah, why?

Cherry Blossom: Quiet you.

Matteo: He needed it to kill Shakespeare (die Shakespeare, die), damn torturer of AP English classes. Once again, die, Shakespeare, die, rot in hell. 

Quatre: Something tells me that she's not a Shakepeare fan.

Trowa: Whatever makes you say that?

Cherry Blossom: You know, this sarcasm thing is getting waaaaaaaaaaay out of hand with you, Trowa.

Trowa: You think?

Cherry Blossom: Arrrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Matteo: Other than that, thanks for more funny GW boy torture. *evil grin* *slips Heero another gun on the sly* 

Heero: GUN! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHACherry takes the gun awayNOOOOOOOO!!! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!

Cherry Blossom: You're too obsessed with firearms. I bet those aren't even licensed yet! In Canada—

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Wufei: No more "Canada does this" lectures. We don't care if you're a Canuk.

Cherry Blossom: But…Canada….everyone needs to hear about Canada! It's the greatest place in the world!

Duo: Then how come you go to Buffalo to shop, hmmm?

Cherry Blossom: Okay, so we have a minor problem with tax. So what? We've got……..*starts to sing* My country's bigger than most/ And if asked I boast/ 'Cause I'm really proud/So I shout it loud/Though our numbers are few/We will welcome youuuuuuuuuuu!!

Wufei: NO! 

Heero: Now, you've done it. You set her off.

Duo: I didn't mean to!

Trowa: Too late…

Quatre: *starts to cry* 

Cherry Blossom: Although we don't have history/Gold medal winning teams/Heroes or prisoners/World famous volcanoes/Still what we've got's glorious!!

Matteo: *sigh* Let's just move on. kelly writes,

Poor Hee-chan! He's my favorite character! Hee-chan needs a hug! *gets evil glint in her eye, then runs and glomps Heero* ^___^

Heero: Urg.

Duo: There you go, Hee-chan. Someone likes you.

Heero: *blushes* Hn… 

Cherry Blossom: 'Cause we've got /Rocks and trees /And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks 

Quatre: Stop it!

Cherry Blossom: And water ^__^ 

Matteo: Amalia R James writes,

LOL... must impart the knowledge that Trident means "three teeth." ^_^

Duo: GUM! Wait…there's no gum here. You tricked me!

Cherry Blossom: All right, everyone! 

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: *glare* SING!

Everybody…even Dilly: We've got/Rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks/And rocks and trees/And trees and rocks 

Quatre: And water. 

Cherry Blossom: In Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada 

Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canada, Canadaaaaaaaaaaa!!

Heero: Please….help us…. 

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes,

No bashing? Why not? ::hides anvil:: Another kickin segment! Hey look! I'm hamsterdancing! ::hamsterdances:: 

Cherry Blossom: EVERYBODY POLKAMON…er….HAMSTER DANCE! *hamsterdances*

Trowa: This keeps on getting weirder…

Matteo: Anyway... Ooh! So you DO like the Underground! 

Cherry Blossom: *stops hamsterdancing to stare in shock* Do I like the Underground?! HELL YEAH!!! I like Flypipe the best. That guy is coooooooooool ^__^

Matteo: Hey, Heero, do you like the Underground? You get a realy cool fake leg and everything! Wear spandex with THAT! 

Heero: I could…but it'd ruin the effect.

Duo: *rolls eyes* Whatever.

Matteo: Anyway, I must get started on part 13. 

Cherry Blossom: *zero look* Yes, you must.

Matteo: Will that make you happy, Cherry-sama? 

Cherry Blossom: MORE UNDERGROUND!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *runs amuck in extreme hyperness for awhile*

Matteo: BTW! Your exposure of the Underground to the rest of the fic world has increased my hits two fold! But not a heck of alot of reveiws... 

Cherry Blossom: All right. Everybody reading this, go out and review Cleckmoon's fics. Now. Go on. Get your buts out of here. Don't worry we'll wait for you. And leave a GOOD review.

Matteo: Anyway, Ya'll love me anyway! -Cleckmoon! The amazing hare person with no life besides the computer, who spends her time writing screenplays about hamsters, and fics about her little world. HEY HO LARRIO!!!

Larrio: *pops in* What?

Cherry Blossom: Dang! That was supposed to be the pizza guy. Oh well…

Larrio: Erm…could you tell me what I'm doing here?

Trowa: None of us really knows why we were thrust into this cruel and uncaring stage called life…

Duo: Trowa…

Trowa: What?

Duo: Quit playing with the guy's head.

Matteo: Hawk writes,

I AM NOT LIKE (SHE WHO'S NAME MUST NOT BE SPOKEN IN HAWK'S PRESENCE)!!!!!* Hawk looks for her newest Hechler and Koch gun. Die accuse me of being like the BiTcH and you will die Heero! 

Heero: Huh?

Duo: I think this was from last episode when you said that Hawk was like Rel—

Heero: *claps hand of Duo's mouth* Don't say it!

Matteo: Cherry help! we are suffering the wraith if the evil poetry at our school!!! 

Cherry Blossom: Best cure for that is lots and lots of riffing ^__^

Matteo: Don't worry Wu-man, I know that you are one of the smartest, strongest and coolest dude in the world! 

Wufei: *smirks*

Quatre: Aw, stuff it pant freak.

Everybody: QUATRE?!

Quatre: What?

Heero: He's been corrupted by all the evil poems.

Matteo: Hey Duo, give This gun i left here to Heero. After all Him and I need to go Relena Hunting. * Hawk leaves a Navy Seal Issue semi automatic here. 

Cherry Blossom: *takes the gun away* Honestly people, how many times do I have to tell you? NO GUNS!!

Heero: *pouts*

Matteo: White Blaze Wannabe writes,

Heh...Willie was on crack...or something, most definately. Why did you give Duo sugar? That's just asking for it!

Cherry Blossom: Umm…..cause I thought it would be interesting? I dunno.

Wufei: 'Cause she's an onna. And she likes chocolate.

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Chetiche Barton write,

Lucky:YAY!My poem got in!YOU OWE ME 20$ CHET!Chetiche:*reluctantly forks over 20$*Why me?Lucky:MWAHAHA!!!!!!!!!I LOVE KEN-CHAN!Chetiche:*sigh*Ever snce the Ken digimon episode on Sat.she's been like this...

Cherry Blossom: I saw that episode. *sniff* It was so sad and mushy *weep*. SAPPYNESS FOREVER!!!

Lucky:I CAN FLY BECAUSE I'M SHIMEGAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*falls off cliff*Chetiche:O.OYeah...and she just had chocolate from an advent calender...........Lucky:*smashed*Ow...Chetiche:The only thing that doesn't keep her from killing herself*motions to cliff*is Crappy Poem Theater...Lucky:Hello?OW! Chetiche:Yeah...I'm gonna take her to a hospitable...keep writing...she might knock some sense into her...Lucky:*dazed*I'm SHIMEGAMI!!!!!!!!!!!!Chetiche:Yeah..well umm...Ja ne!

Wufei: See all the trouble your series is causing?

Heero: Yeah, I think you should stop the pain now.

Cherry Blossom: *thinks a bit* Mmm…no.

Matteo: Lig Maxwell writes,

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh god,these just get better every time! And Dilly-san was in it too! Yay!*grins* You HAVE to do more of these..or else!*holds up gun and throws it to Hee-chan*now you don't have any reason to kill me!*grins* 

Cherry Blossom: *snaps her fingers and the gun turns into a box of socks (what Cherry-chan got for Christmas last year ;_; Booooooooooh)*

Heero: Hey!

Matteo: Oh,and for Duo-koi...*throws him 10 boxes of pocky*Love ya lots,Du-chan! Ja ne!

Duo: *heart eyes* All this pocky. All for ME!!

Quatre: You could share….

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes,

*patpats Quatre* Sorry about the Songs of Innocence mention last review. Good as always Cherry keep them coming ^^ *hands a box of Pixi Stix to each of the guys* the tide ya over, have fun! ^^v

G-Boyz: PIXIE STIX ^__^

Cherry Blossom: *pouts* And again I am forgotten.

Matteo: Jillypuff writes, 

This series is great so far! Especially this episode. Those Shakespeare poems were definately not his finer moments (especially 'Blow Thou Winter Wind'- we had to sing that in choir, and it was mildly frightening.) 

Wufei: *chokes on Pixie Stick* Sing….?

Matteo: Keep it up. Oh, and give poor Trowa some pocky.

Trowa: Yeah, give poor Trowa the pocky.

Cherry Blossom: You've already got Pixie Stix. There are starving kids in Africa, ya know.

Trowa: And your point is…

Matteo: Teague writes, 

hehe... what can I say? Hey, isn't Shakespeare supposed to be a GOOD writer?? 

Quatre: Even the best can have an off day.

Heero: And Shakespeare was having a reeeeeeealy off day.

Matteo: Hmm.... oh, well... and wufei, I saved that strawberry pocky just for you! Aren't you glad?

Wufei: Strawberry pocky is an injustice. Everyone knows that chocolate pocky is the BEST.

Matteo: Caro-chan writes,

Yaaaaaaaaaay! I've been waiting all week for episode 5 to come up! It was worth the wait! (Evil grin) Can you ask Dilly-sama if he could be my accountant, too? There's nothing better than the smell of torched bills. 

Dilly: *locked in a room far FAR away from the Christmas tree* BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!!

Matteo: Duo, if I had my way, I'd give you all the pocky in the world. (Blows him a kiss)

Duo: *dreamy look*

Cherry Blossom: *hums "Sweet Nothings"*

Matteo: I like strawberry pocky! (Then again, that's the only kind I've ever had... ;_;) 

Wufei: *shocked* Somebody get this girl some chocolate pocky NOW!

Matteo: Keep on pumping out these CPT's, Cherry-sama! You rule! (Bows deeply)

Cherry Blossom: I RULE! *dances around the room* I ruuule. I ruuuuule. I ruuuuuuuule!!!!

Matteo: Salior Anime/Wufei's Onna write,

Oh my GaWd....How can you sit there and do that to the poor Gboys and my poor Koi???? Probally very easily...... Fei... You've definatly got the cutest ass!!!!!!! Just wanted you to know that koi...I miss you.. (Meet ya afterwards..K???) 

Everybody: *stares at Wufei*

Wufei: *blushes* What?

Gboys your all really cool ,But I just love my koi ^_^ Heero ,I got more guns for ya QuatreHere ya go*Hands Quatre some earplugs* DuoHere's your christmas present *Holds out a cross* Trowa *Holds out Pocky boxes* Cherry Blossom :Keep it up girl, ya know you're cool so I don't have to say it MatteoYou're just hilarious Keep it up you guys!!!!!! Wufei ...Koi ..LOve ya babe *blows kisses*

Duo: PRESENTS!

Cherry Blossom: I'm thinking special Christmas addition next week.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Can I use your ear plug, Q-chan?

Matteo: sabacat writes, 

Boy does Duo have the sweet tooth from hell or what?!? Since you refuse to toss him Hilde as a treat to munch on *POUT* maybe you should look into some low fat pocky or some slim-fast! *holds out cherry cordial to Duo, then tosses it out the door where he follows and is promptly pounced on by Hilde* ^_~ *Hilde sticks tongue out at Cherry-chan*

Cherry Blossom: Oh no you don't. *boots Hilde out the door*

Duo: B-but—

Cherry Blossom: Silence! You guys can get together later. Like in my next part of Just Another Phase (shameless plug). For now, we have work to do.

Duo: *pouts*

Cherry Blossom: Y'know. She's right. You guys are getting a little chunky. NO MORE POCKY OR SWEETS!!

G-Boyz: Wha?????

Cherry Blossom: *replaces all sugary-junk with healthy stuff*

Wufei: Yogurt….INJUSTICE!!

Duo: Noooooooooo! My pocky!! *weeps*

Heero: Omeo o korosu!!

Trowa: I'm NOT chunky.

Quatre: Booooooooh ;_;

Cherry Blossom: Stop whining and have a low-fat carrot stick.

Heero: *grabs a carrot stick and munches on it VERY LOUDLY* 

Matteo: Rebecca the Great writes,

Teeheeteehee! Hilarious MST, as always! ^_^ Good gods does Shakespeare have some crappy ramblings. But why is everyone so mean to Fei-babe in reviews? He may be a bit of a chauvanist, but underneathe it all he's just a big ol' teddy bear! ^_~ Luv ya, 'Fei, and your pants are COOL, no matter what Dark Heart says! ^_^

Wufei: Yes my pants ARE cool and…..TEDDY BEAR?! INJUSTICE!!

Heero: *CRUNCH, SNAP, MUNCH*

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego writes, 

Alas, poor Shinigami... I knew him, Matteo. *would continue mis-quoting Shakespeare if not for the fact he has seen _more_ than enough olde English for one day* -_-' tsk, tsk you are being soooo mean Cherry-sama. First, you take away Heero's gun (leaving him open and defenseless to sudden Bitchcraft attacks). Then you cut off Du-chan's supply of pocky. It's *whispering so Wufei can't hear* an INJUSTICE!!!! 

Duo: *sulking* Damn right.

Matteo: ^_^ heh, love ya' Wu-man. Well, that's pretty much it for me. Until the next episode adou, parting is such sweet... awww smeg, there I go again.

Cherry Blossom: The more people who say "smeg" the happier the place will be.

Heero: Riiiiiiight.

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes,

You know what? I hope this thing gets to episode 1,999,999 and a half ... sorry G-boyz but it's so funny to see you tortured like that ... heh heh heh ...

[looks at Heero who is pointing a gun at her] Uh, heh hee hee ...? 

Cherry Blossom: *poofs the gun out of existence* What did I tell you about guns?

Heero: Smeg. 

Matteo: Shakespere and his damn iambic pentameter are EVIL, man! I'm gonna go with Dilly here ... BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! You know who's poems you should MST? E. E. Cummings. His poems look like puzzles. If you can find "Old Age Sticks", it'd be a good one to MST. (I can't e-mail it to you 'cuz my parents don't let me e-mail people I "don't know".) Anyway, I love these things ... ^_^ Keep it up!

Cherry Blossom: That's funny…I don't know ANY of the people I e-mail. 

Matteo: Treize (not the hamster) writes,

Excellent, dear lady *gives her a rose* 

Cherry Blossom: *sniffs rose* Awww…

Matteo: But I _DO_ wish you would spare Wufei-san this torture. It affects his performance in bed, and myself, Zechs, Lady Une, and Sally Po sincerely wish him to be up to his *raises one eyebrow* maximum potential. *waves at Wufei* Good luck, my Dragon! *jumps into bed with the three previously mentioned figures* We'll be waiting for you!

Everyone: O_0

Duo: WU-MAN!!

Wufei: I didn't do it! I didn't do it!!

Cherry Blossom: Ew….that's gross.

Matteo: But I thought you liked yaoi.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah but…..this is Trieze, Zechs, Lady Une, and Sally Po. They're….OLD.

Matteo: Little green writes,

Hello! I see Treize did a good job at ensuring the security! 

Cherry Blossom: Yep. Trieze was the best bodyguard I ever saw.

Quatre: He bit us!!

Cherry Blossom: Yeah….so?

Matteo: Also, you were right! NO POCKY FOR TROWA!! And Matteo... Poor, poor Matteo... I don't know which is worse : being forced to wear a traditional costume or being molested by Treize... So I suggest you keep doin' him both!!!! BWUAUAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! And as for Heero... Wheeew... Did he actually do a... JOKE??? O_O I wanna see that again... Just to be sure...

Duo: Heero did a joke? Where?!

Heero: Hn…

Matteo: No more costumes. Or hamsters.

Cherry Blossom: Sure, sure *crosses fingers behind back*.

Matteo: Meg Uchuno ( again, you people must be really tired of me now, ne? ) 

Trowa: Yes.

Matteo: Ossu minna-san! I can not get enough of these poems! They are soooooo crappy! Gomen for sending Relena into this. I thought it would be funny! ::looks to see the g-guys glaring at her:: I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY! ::sigh:: you people have no sense of humor what-so-ever. Well, i have to go, but i want to give a shout out to Duo ( the best damn pilot even though he looks like a girl ), 

Duo: Thanks! *thinks a bit* Hey, wait a minute…

Matteo: Wufei ( Mr. I-love-Nataku-and-I-probly-wear-tighty-whites ) 

Cherry Blossom: Do you?

Wufei: Do I what, onna?

Cherry Blossom: Wear tighty whiteys?

Wufei: *blushes, sputters* That's none of your business!

Cherry Blossom: *thinking of ways to find out* Hehehe…

Matteo: and Matteo ( the guy who deserves to be better treated by Blossom-san! ) Well, thats it! Sayonora! Come out with the next part quicky!

Cherry Blossom: Wow, Matteo. You're getting quite a following. Maybe you should get your own show.

Matteo: Do you mean it!

Cherry Blossom: ….no.

Matteo: *pouts* Corra Mereel writes,

ROTFLMAO!!! That was SOOOOOO funny!! I'll never look at English class the same again. Yes!! Canadians RULE!!!! Oh, and stop picking on my poor Duo *;-}

Duo: Yeah, stop picking on Duo.

Cherry Blossom: CANADA!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *sings*We're proud to be Canadian (Proud to be Canadian)/We're awfully nice to strangers, our manners be our curse (Can I get the door for you, Ma'am)/It's cool in many ways to be Canadian (It's cool 'cause it's cold up here)/We won't say that we're better (no), it's just that we're less worse/We won't say that we're better, it's just that we're less worse!

Quatre: What's wrong with her?

Trowa: Went to an Arrogant Worms concert. Got hyper.

Quatre: Oh.

Matteo: Dariana Night writes,

*glomps onto Wu-koi and kisses him while he tries unsucessfully to pry her off with a crowbar* 

Wufei: Get….this…..onna…..OFF ME!!!

Duo: *snickers* I think you're stuck like that Wu-man.

Matteo: Black Tiger writes,

HEY CHERRY-SAMMA! (STARTS TO CRY) I'M SO WEAK-HEARTED! AFTER THE LAST STORY I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUTION I CAN ONLY HATE WOLFY. HEERO'S ASS IS TOO CUTE, DUO'S TOO KAWII, QUATRE REMINDS ME OF A BEAUTIFUL ANGEL,AND TROWA'S QUIET DEMENER MAKES HIM TOO ADORABLE. WUFIE CAN THANK GOD(YES I MEAN DUO)I DON'T KILL HIM.I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT HEERO,QUATRE,AND TROWA LUV YA BEYZ BlackTiger

Dariana Night: *deathglares* Don't diss my Wu-koi.

Cherry Blossom: Er….I think it's time for you to go. Goodbye! *zaps her out of the fic* 

Matteo: Elentari writes,

Hi, Dilly-sama! I'm a psychopath too! (just a really hyper one) And here I thought Shakespeare was a good writer...Yes Heero, I am having fun! Wind with teeth. THAT is going to give me nightmares. Canada rules!!!!! You can get pocky there too. More!!!! Ja! *disappears in a poof of smoke* 

Cherry Blossom: Yes you can get pocky in Canada. I get mine from………..LONGOS!!! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Matteo: The_Wise_Insane_one writes,

You have a talent ;_;

Duo: Why's he/she crying?

Cherry Blossom: *sniff* I'm overcome with emotion too. *weeps*

Trowa: *sighs*

Matteo: Kiyone writes,

HAHAHA!!!! i love these things!!! lol Yea! Go Dilly Go!!!! *stands up and cheers* lol keep writing more!! umm... sorry Duo! ^_^ i still luv u!!!

Trowa: Whoo hoo. Yeah. Go.

Cherry Blossom: ENTHUSIASM!!

Trowa: : p

Matteo: Nightheart writes,

I love these poetry MST's, they're wonderful! I cannot wait to read your next one! Write again soon, I'll be watching for it! ~Nightheart.

Quatre: This is soon enough.

Wufei: Too soon.

Matteo: TrowasGirl writes, 

k...I'm not sure is ive ever ever heard of the word 'unthrifts'. Also i Have to Agree with Cherry-san Canada Kicks A.S.S! 

Cherry Blossom: *opens her mouth*

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *closes mouth*

Matteo: Oh yeah i have some crappy poems i'll send in. Love ya lot's Trowa! Love ya Heero! Love ya Duo! Love ya Quatre! Love ya WuWu! But of coruse I love Trowa the most! *hands Trowa a few daggers* Keep on tourting them Cherry! 

Trowa: Hmm….

Cherry Blossom: No sharp things! *takes them away*

Matteo: Dark Heart writes,

Okay, okay, I won't do any more Wufei bashing... I happen to like Shakespeare, but those were probably his worst. Still funny, still want more... Bye the way Heero *sneaks him a gun* go kill "your stalker" for me, would you? She has been getting on my nerves lately. 

Heero: *pockets gun before Cherry can take it* Hehehe…

Cherry Blossom: Aren't you forgetting something, Heero?

Heero: Like what?

Cherry Blossom: *shows bullets she has zapped out of the gun*

Heero: Smeg.

Matteo: Shinimegami Winner writes,

MWahahahahahahah!!! ADVENT CALENDER!!! ADVENT CALENDER!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!! Erm... sorry... (Nanashi Neko appears: "This is the Goddess of Death on Chocolate and Caffeine... Any questions?" Shini bonks the cat-muse in the head) Sorry... Whooo, you must continue! I can't begin to express how funny this is! Oh, and Wufei... My pet bear, Teddy, wishes to meet you! Oh well... I'm off to eat some more chocolate... I think I'm getting one of those little boot thingys... Ciao! (Poof)... (Repoof) Oh, and my I recommend a VERY crappy poem...'tis entitled "Terrence, this is stupid stuff" Believe me... It really IS stupid stuff... (Poof, once again)...

G-Boyz: O_0

Quatre: Oookaaaaaay.

Matteo: Tsuki Yuuki writes, 

*LMMFAO* my English teacher would like that one. wanna hear an injustice? a painting of a hippy Willie!!!! itz truly scary!!!!!!

Wufei: Nooooooooo!! Hippies!! Killthemkillthemkillthemkillthem!!!

Matteo: GeminiTiger writes,

Hey, Heero, too bad Shakespeare's dead, huh? You can't kill someone who's already dead. And please don't make fun of Wufei. He's so cool, and I haven't been to China yet, but I want to, and China sounds like a cool place to visit. Oh, I have a Japanese friend, too! Her name's Ayako. She's cool. Anyway, Quatre, you should come to my house for tea. How about Raspberry Zinger? It's my fave. Well, this is too long, so I'm leaving now. Bye!! I

Quatre: Tea….

Matteo: LOVE YOU, WUFEI!! YOU KICK ASS!!! 

Wufei. Yes…I do.

Matteo: Ryoko, P-Chan, Kizuchi, Kaori, and Onna Deathsythe write, 

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! We can't stop laughing! Kaori has some crappy ancient egyptian poetry she wants to send you....whenever she can find it. 

Cherry Blossom: Egyptian poetry, eh? Can't wait.

Don't worry boys the Relena Haters' Club is working on a way to get you out of there.

Heero: Work FAST!!

Cherry Blossom: *creepy voice* There is no way out. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Matteo: And finally, Toucan writes,

HOLY $HIT!! I'M THE 40TH REVIEWER!!! 

Cherry Blossom: No way! Forty reviews? *looks up and counts all the reviews she just did* WOW!! I feel so loved *sniff*

Matteo: OO Ok, I have just read through these from the first to the fifth, and I can't wait for the next one!! ^^ And, uh, DUO-SAMA RULES!!!! ^^ Also, we studied poetry for the whole first quarter of the school year, BUT NONE OF THEM WERE AS HORRIBLE AS THOSE!! And maybe one of the effects of Shakepeare's pot (besides the poetry ^^;;) was the funky clothes. POOR MATTEO!!! Ja ne!

Cherry Blossom: Jaa!!

Matteo: Yes…poor Matteo. I need a drink.

Cherry Blossom: Have some tea.

Quatre: TEA!!

Duo: Well that took forever.

Cherry Blossom: Right. We're wasting time. Let's get on with the show.

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene changes to a darkened theater where five familiar figures are seated.

Cherry Blossom: *pops in out of no where* Hiyee!! Time for another crappy poem! This one is…..well it sucks. And it's really long!

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: First of all, the disclaimer.

Disclaimer: Everybody who thinks that I own anything should be drug out into the street and shot. Thank you.

G-Boyz: *blink*

Cherry Blossom: Right! Snap ass, people! 

Duo: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: We need to get this show on the road. So without further ado, I give you……….Matteo!

Matteo: *clears throat*

__

The Thorn

Wufei: *chokes* Someone wrote a poem about a….thorn?

Trowa: Apparently.

__

By: William Wordsworth

Quatre: Wait! I know that name! Hey..he was supposed to be a good poet.

Heero: So was Shakespeare.

__

Part I.

Duo: There's so many lines that he has to separate them into parts?

Trowa: I don't like this… 

__

There is a thorn; it looks so old,

Heero: And we care………why? 

__

In truth you'd find it hard to say,

How it could ever have been young,

Duo: How it could ever have been so young. Nope, I didn't find that hard to say. 

__

It looks so old and grey.

Quatre: Whoa, déjà vu!

_

Not higher than a two-year's child,
_

Quatre: *disgusted* Two-year old's can't have children!

Trowa: I think he means a two year old child.

Quatre: Oh. Then why doesn't he just _say_ that?

Duo: 'Cause that would make sense.

__

It stands erect 

Duo: *opens mouth*

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!

Duo: *closes mouth*

this aged thorn; __

No leaves it has, no thorny points;

Wufei: Wait, wait. The THORN has no THORNY points?

Trowa: That's what he said.

Cherry Blossom: This is so confusing. 

__

It is a mass of knotted joints,

A wretched thing forlorn.

Cherry Blossom: Reminds me of my Home Ec teacher.
Quatre: Cherry! That's meeeeeeaaaaaaaaan! 
__

It stands erect, and like a stone

Duo: *opens mouth*

Heero: *deathglareX100*

Duo: *closes mouth*

__

With lichens it is overgrown.

Wufei: *imitates Spock* Fascinating…

__

Part II.

Everybody: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! 

__

Like rock or stone, it is o'ergrown

With lichens to the very top,

Quatre: Didn't we just hear this?
Wufei: I'd like to think that I haven't but…. 
__

And hung with heavy tufts of moss,

A melancholy crop:

Duo: How can moss be melancholy?

Trowa: It's called personfication.

Duo: Whatever.

_

Up from the earth these mosses creep,
_

Wufei: Ooooooooh. Creeping moss. Big Whoop.

Cherry Blossom: That's whoop. As in "Whoopie!".

__

And this poor thorn they clasp it round

So close, you'd say that they were bent

With plain and manifest intent,

To drag it to the ground;

Quatre: I thought the thorn was already on the ground.

Duo: Well you thought wrong.

_

And all had joined in one endeavour
_

To bury this poor thorn for ever.

Heero: And still no one has told me why I should care.

__

Part IV.

Trowa: What happened to Part III?

Cherry Blossom: I cut it out. It wasn't relevant.

Wufei: And the rest of it IS?

__

And close beside this aged thorn,

There is a fresh and lovely sight,

A beauteous heap, a hill of moss,

Duo: This guy had a thing for moss.

Quatre: And thorns.

Cherry Blossom: And pointless, meaningless poems. I'm just gonna cut out the rest of this stanza because it's too stupid.

__

Part V.

Trowa: This is getting tiresome.

Duo: How many parts does this thing have anyway?

Cherry Blossom: Ummm….*checks* 23.

G-Boyz: *in horror* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry. I'll cut out most of it.

__

Ah me! what lovely tints are there!

Of olive-green and scarlet bright,

In spikes, in branches, and in stars,

Green, red, and pearly white.

This heap of earth o'ergrown with moss,

Quatre: *sobs* No more moss!

Duo: This guy is obsessed.

_

Which close beside the thorn you see,
_

So fresh in all its beauteous dyes,

Is like as like can be:

But never, never any where,

An infant's grave was half so fair.

Everybody: O_0

Cherry Blossom: Whaa?

__

Part VI.

Now would you see this aged thorn,

This pond and beauteous hill of moss,

You must take care and chuse your time

The mountain when to cross.

Wufei: "Chuse"?

Quatre: Maybe he means "choose"?

_

For oft there sits, between the heap
_

That's like an infant's grave in size,

And that same pond of which I spoke,

A woman in a scarlet cloak,

And to herself she cries,

Heero: *as woman* GET ME OUT OF THIS DAMN POEM!! 

__

"Oh misery! Oh misery!

"Oh woe is me! oh misery!"

Heero: Close enough.

__

Part VII.

At all times of the day and night

This wretched woman thither goes,

Quatre: Thither? Where's that?
Duo: Oklahoma.
Quatre: Really?
Cherry Blossom: He's kidding, Quatre. 
__

And when the whirlwind's on the hill,

Or frosty air is keen and still,

And to herself she cries,

"Oh misery! oh misery!

"Oh woe is me! oh misery!"

Trowa: Redundancy is an art.

Duo: And this guy's Picasso. 

__

Part VIII.

"Now wherefore thus, by day and night,

"In rain, in tempest, and in snow,

"Thus to the dreary mountain-top

"Does this poor woman go?

Duo: Didn't he just say that she went to the mountain-top?
Wufei: Maybe he's just making sure… 
__

"And why sits she beside the thorn

"When the blue day-light's in the sky,

"Or frosty air is keen and still,

Cherry Blossom: Who knows? Sitting by a thorn isn't MY favorite passtime. 
__

"And wherefore does she cry? --

"Oh wherefore" wherefore? tell me why

"Does she repeat that doleful cry?"

Heero: Kill meeeeee……..

__

Part IX.

I cannot tell; 

Wufei: Thank God!

Duo: Welcome.

Everybody: Not you!

Duo: sheesh.

_

I wish I could;
_

For the true reason no one knows,

Duo: Who knows? The Shadow knows! *evil laugh*

Everybody else: O_o

Duo: What?

_

But if you'd gladly view the spot,
_

The spot to which she goes;

Wufei: We don't care.

_

The heap that's like an infant grave,
_

Quatre: What's WRONG with this guy?

Heero: Has to be drugs. Lots and lots of drugs.

__

The pond -- and thorn, so old and grey,

Cherry Blossom: Ah crap. This is getting too repetitive. Look, I'm just going to skip to the last stanza, 'kay?

G-Boyz: Yay! 

__

Part XXIII.

I cannot tell how this may be,

Trowa: Then don't!

__

But plain it is, the thorn is bound

With heavy tufts of moss, that strive

To drag it to the ground.

Wufei: Arrrrrgh!! This is the exact same thing he said in the FIRST stanza!!
Cherry blossom: It's like being stuck in the Twilight Zone or something. 
__

And this I know, full many a time,

When she was on the mountain high,

By day, and in the silent night,

Cherry blossom: *sings* Silent night, holy night…

Wufei: INJUSTICE! How dare that kisama use such a beautiful carol in his baka poem?!

_

When all the stars shone clear and bright,
_

That I have heard her cry,

"Oh misery! Oh misery!

"O woe is me! oh misery!"

Trowa: Riiiiiight.

Duo: That was stupid.

Cherry Blossom: I know. Remind me never to read his stuff EVER.

Quatre: I want to go home.

Heero: Hn…

ding dong

Cherry blossom: Matteo, can you get the door?

Matteo: *grumbles* I do everything around here.

Cherry Blossom: *deathglareX20* What was that?

Matteo: Er…nothing. *opens door*

Pizza Guy: You order the pepperoni and mushroom pizza with extra cheese?

Duo: PIZZA!!! *grabs box. runs out of the room* MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Quatre: Wait Duo! I want some!

Pizza guy: Where's my money?

Cherry Blossom: Dilly-sama can you pay the nice man, please?

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! *points flamethrower at pizza guy*

Pizza Guy: *frieeeeeees*

Cherry Blossom: He's just SO damn useful. ^__^ Join us next time on Crappy Poem Theater. And if ya wann send me poems write to [chibicherryb@hotmail.com][1]. Jaa!! 

   [1]: mailto:chibicherryb@hotmail.com



	7. Crappy Poem Theater 7

Crappy Poem Theater

A weak representation of the Hallelujah chorus being played on the kazoo is heard in the background. Camera zooms in on Cherry Blossom who is sitting on an ugly blue and pink couch in front of a big @ss Christmas tree crunching on a stick of pocky and checking off items on a list.

Cherry Blossom: *sings* I'm making a list, and checking it once!

Matteo: Uh…shouldn't that be twice?

Cherry Blossom: *shrugs* I'm lazy. Oh, hiyee minaa! I bet some of you are wondering why we aren't in the Official Crappy Poem Theater today.

Matteo: I bet they don't care.

Cherry Blossom: *glare* Shut up. *fake manic smile* Wellllll, we had to move our location because SOMEBODY burnt down the THEATER with a FLAMETHROWER.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! Buahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha—

Cherry Blossom: *pointed deathglareX100*

Dilly: Ehehehe…..uh…….burn?

Cherry Blossom: Quatre's been kind enough to offer to rebuild it…

Duo: You shouldn't have done that Q-man!

Trowa: What were you thinking? We could have gotten out of reading crappy poems!!

Quatre: Well I…

Heero: *snorts* Come on guys. You know as well as I do that she'd just relocate us somewhere else. These poems thingies aren't gonna stop anytime soon.

Wufei: Unfortunately, Yuy is right.

Quatre: Yeah, so there. : p 

Cherry Blossom: If I could continue?

G-Boyz: *silence*

Cherry Blossom: Thank you. Soooooooooooo…….now all of us are at MY house for our 7th episode of Crappy Poem Theater and our special Christmas Program. Yay!

Trowa: Joy.

Wufei: Rapture.

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: You guys are all grinches. Let's go straight to Reviewer's Corner! Yay!

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: Did you know that I've never gotten this many reviews in my LIFE?

Wufei: Someone up there must really hate us.

Duo: Ah quit whining. Have some Christmas pocky.

Trowa: Christmas pocky?

Quatre: It's red and green. See?

Heero: Cherry how come these chairs still have price tags on them?

Cherry Blossom: Uh….Well I….'cause I want people to see how much I paid for them?

Heero: *suspiciously* Riiiiiiight.

Matteo: Can we get on with this? 

Cherry Blossom: Right. Read the first review.

Matteo: TrowasGirl writes, 

*Jumps on Trowa's lap, and sits there* Oh my god that poem was truly scary. How can one person decide to torture the world with that 'thing' he calls a 'poem'? *Gets an evil look in her eye* 

Wufei: It's an INJUSTICE! *rants about injustices for a couple minutes*

Matteo: 

*leans down and kisses Trowa and doesn't come up for air for about...an hour* 

Trowa: Mmph. 

Cherry Blossom: *looks at watch* Guuuuys, I'd like to get this done by New Years?

Trowa: *gasps for breath* Gomen, Cherry.

Matteo: 

Oh yeah, give the boys back their sweets, I seriously think they may wither away and die with out them. Don't be to mean to T-kun. Love ya lots Trowa, you too Matteo! Oh yeah *Hands Cherry pockey* that for all the hard work you put into the Theatre, to make the boys lives a living hell. Ok Ja!

Cherry Blossom: Pocky!! *munches pocky*

Duo: *pouts* TrowasGirl thinks we should get back our treats.

Wufei: Yeah! Why should you get pocky when I get yogurt? It's an INJUS—

Cherry Blossom: *reaches for her glaive* Say it and die.

Wufei: *shuts his mouth*

Trowa: Seriously, Cherry. You should take us off the diet. It _is_ Christmas you know. And we're all really thin already. 

Duo: Yeah! I mean, look at Quatre. He's practically anorexic!

Quatre: Hey!

Duo: Well you are Q-chan. Just look at those stick legs.

Quatre: I'm NOT anorexic!!

Cherry Blossom: Well….I suppose you could go off the diet for today. It _is_ Christmas, after all.

G-Boyz: Yay! 

Matteo: Black Tiger writes,

(slips Heero a beam cannon and whispers)your butt is the cutest hee-chan.(gives Duo a golden cross) Merry Christmas! (gives Quatre a gold tea cup)luv ya! (gives Trowa a BIG set of knives) use them well! (reluctantly gives Wufie a big sword)have fun Black tiger

Heero: *fingers beam cannon with that maniacal smile he only gets when he's blowing up something* Hmm….what do you think the range is on this thing?

Cherry Blossom: No beam cannons in the house! *zaps it away*

Heero: Smeg. *sulks* What about THEIR presents? How come THEY get to keep theirs?

Quatre: Mine's not potentially life threatening.

Duo: Oh, I dunno. Maybe if you clunked someone over the head with it…

Cherry Blossom: Good point. *zaps away all the G-Boyz presents* You can play with them later. Now, we have work to do.

G-Boyz: *grumble, grumble*

Matteo: baylisswoman writes,

Oh.my god. I knew Wordsworth wrote crappy poerty but I forgot about that one.... Cherry-Sama *bows* I read that one in High School...It was 6 Years ago...

Wufei: How could anyone possible forget the mystical beauty that is….The Thorn?

Trowa: Nice one, Wufei.

Wufei: *bows*

Cherry Blossom: *sweatdrops* You guys are more sarcastic than me……and I'm a teenager!

Matteo: 

Please do more. You have made my day...I am now off to work...Oh and By the way...I LOVE CANADA!!!!!! I just had to say that....I live in

Iowa....Poor, poor pitiful me.... Canadians rule....

Cherry Blossom: CANADA!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! ARROGANT WORMS SONGS!!!!

Heero: Noooooooo! You've started her up!!

Cherry Blossom: *sings* Christmas is almost here/Christmas is almost here/Christmas is almost here/ Aaahhhggggrrr!

G-Boyz: Aaahhhggggrrr!

Cherry Blossom: Oh are you guys joining in? We'll make it a sing-a-long ^__^ 

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *sings*

It's just five days till Christmas, I haven't done a thing

Don't even have a Christmas tree, I am panicking

Most lots are all sold out, I search until the night

I end up with a grubby shrub with a case of blight

Quatre: What's blight?

Duo: It's like the flu for trees.

Quatre: Oh.

Trowa: Wait, I thought it was a kind of parasite.

Wufei: *mutters* Who cares.

Matteo: Er…. Corazon del Fuego writes,

o_o utterly mind-numbing...

Cherry Blossom: *sings*

It's four days till Christmas, still have to decorate

Spend hours in the basement until I find the crate

Of lights and bulbs and popcorn strings, tangled in a knot

Then I spend the day separating what I've goooot!!!

Duo: *wincing* Yeah. I didn't know Cherry could hit high C like that. It's pretty mind-numbing.

Heero: You have no mind.

Duo: Hey!

Cherry Blossom: *still singing*

It's three days till Christmas, I spent all day writing cards

I started writing letters now I just say "best regards"

I shove 'em in a mailbox and to the mall I go

To get gifts for Jim and Jane and Tim and Uncle Joe (and aunt Mavis and Grandma and....)

Matteo: Moving along here, mandy writes, 

i stumbled on to this with my agnst demon in tow (he still here damn cat) 

Cherry Blossom: *stops singing* Ohhh. I used to have an angst demon. He got too depressing though. Now I have an annoying muse.

Matteo: : p

this was funny keep going. to the g boys it could be worse it could be any

poem by anonymous then you wouldn't know who to go after

Wufei: *sulks* Can't go after any of them anyway. They're all DEAD.

Cherry Blossom: *sings* Christmas is almost here/Christmas is almost here/Christmas is almost here/ Aaahhhggggrrr!

G-Boyz: Aaahhhggggrrr!

Quatre: Stop the singing!

Cherry Blossom: You guys are no fun.

Matteo: Ginga writes, 

I read a lemon entitled 'Thorns' once...

G-Boyz: *big eyes*

Matteo: 

but that's beside the point. 

G-Boyz: *sigh of relief*

Matteo: 

Like I said before, poor G-boys. Especially Duo. He doesn't deserve this torture. And since I feel that Wufei is so underappreciated, I'm going to dedicate this review to him. Hi Wuffy!!!!! ^_^

Wufei: Hello onna.

Duo: How do you know it's an onna?

Trowa: Silly. Everyone is an onna compared to the great Wufei.

Wufei: Why thank you, Trowa. I…wait a minute….

Duo: *snicker*

Cherry Blossom: What have I told you about sarcasm, Trowa?

Trowa: Uh…..that it's a good thing?

Cherry Blossom: *thinks a bit* Sounds right to me. Continue, Matteo dear.

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes,

Cherry.... It can't be..... Your.. your... CANADIAN!?!?!?! ::screams, runs in fear and terror:: AHHHH!!! Get the evil Canadian AWAAAAYYY! 

Cherry Blossom: Fear me. For I have DONUTS!!

Quatre: What's so fearful about donuts?

Cherry Blossom: All the sprinkles are scrunched up on one side.

Heero: Oh my GOD! That is SCARY!

Cherry Blossom: Isn't it, though?

Matteo: 

::stops running:: Hey, wait a sec, why am i running from a canadian? ::Grins, grabs a hockey stick, signed by star Redwings center Igor Larrionov, and chases Cherry-sama::

Cherry Blossom: I would like to take this opportunity to say……RED WINGS SUCK!!!!! THEYSUCKTHEYSUCKTHEYSUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!

Duo: She's not a fan.

Wufei: Noooooooooo, really? 

Matteo: 

YARR!! Fear me, CANUCK! ::sings:: OH!!!!! I wish I was BLOWING up Prince Edward Island, 

Cherry Blossom: Ah, go ahead. I don't like their potatoes that much anyway…

Matteo: 

and then move on to bomb Ontario! The destruction of Canada and all of it's culture is by far my favorite scenario! 

Cherry Blossom: *zero-eyes* You….you….

Quatre: *inches away from her* Uh oh…..

Matteo: 

Just where the hell does Canada get off sharing a border with countries far superior to them? Why ya lousy stinking phrancophonic bacon loving bastards, 

Trowa: Shouldn't that be francophonic?

Wufei: Who cares?

Cherry Blossom: *in a creepy scary really soft voice* I don't eat bacon….

Duo: Whoa guys…..get ready to duck if she blows up or something.

Matteo: 

yer country's just a GIANT PIECE OF SH... ::CM is tackled from behind by Larrionov, Flypipe, and Rudo-Chan. BunnieGunniez helps tie up Cleckmoon.:: BG: Sorry Cherry-sama! Clecky gets this way when she's allowed to insult canadians... For some odd reason, she really loves to insult them.... CM:: Through a gag:: Mrrrph! Mrrrph!!! BG: Just ignore her...

-Cleckmoon! Insulter of Canadia and all of it's residents! Also writer of the ill-fated Underground series! ((E-mail her or AOL Instant message her (SN: Cleckmoon) For more info on why the Underground may be delayed for awhile! And it's not just out of spite against Canadians...)) 

Cherry Blossom: *counts to ten slowly* All of you may flame Cleckmoon for her unjust treatment of Canadians everywhere. Don't hesitate to flood her mail box with obscure Canadian fact and fanalia. I know I will *evil grin* 

Heero: She's only kidding.

Duo: I'm sure she didn't mean it.

Cherry Blossom: JUSTICE!!

Matteo: 

I LOVE CHEESE! EVERYBODY CAN HAVE SOME CHEESE! AND CRACKERS!

Cherry Blossom: Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssseeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!! *grabs cheese and shoves it in her mouth* Okay Clecky, you are hereby pardoned for crimes against Canada because I LOVE CHEESE!!!

Trowa: She's so weird….

Duo: It's because it's Christmas.

Cherry Blossom: Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!

Matteo: Kai writes,

I would love to erect Duo's overgrown thorn...

Everybody: *turn to stare at Duo*

Duo: *blush*

Matteo: 

Did I just say that out loud? ::Thinks:: "And I will, in one endeavour bury his poor thorn for ever" I thought I would improve on the poem! (naughty hentai) 

Quatre: I'm being corrupted again.

Trowa: Ah, you weren't that innocent to begin with.

Quatre: Trowa!

Wufei: He's right. I've seen those magazines you keep under your bed.

Quatre: *turns red* I…don't know what you're talking about.

Wufei: Suuuuuuure.

Cherry Blossom: Guys? This is getting icky. Let's stop.

Quatre: Please.

Matteo: 

Once again, Cherry Blossom, you've outdone yourself. Bravo!

Cherry Blossom: Yes, I know. I am brilliant.

Trowa: *gags*

Matteo: Toucan writes,

I hope this guy had more of a life than writing meaningless poems about thorns, but I suppose that's a helpless cause, huh? Another masterpeice, Cherry! Can't wait for next week's fic! ^^

Cherry Blossom: Unfortunately you will have to wait. My computer is misbehaving. Stupid word processor from hell.

Matteo: CLS writes,

Sorry, I forgot ta review last time *cries* 

Cherry Blossom: Oh that's just shameful. Bad CLS, bad. 

Matteo: 

*gets over it* Anyhoo, HEERO RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *throws him some pocky* This is for you just being such a hottie ^^!!

Heero: *nice smile…I know. It scares me too* Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

Duo: *stares* What was in that pocky?

Matteo: Elentari writes, 

*blinks* That may win the award for the worst poem EVER! This guy had major problems. I mean, what sane person would write about infants graves?! That's WRONG!! Oh well.. Great as always, I can't wait for the next one. Oh, and here. *gives Cherry boxes of pocky, pixie stix and other assorted sugar filled stuff* For writing great stuff like this. 

Cherry Blossom: Wheeeeeeeeeee! PRESENTS!!! *runs amuck for a few minutes*

Matteo: 

Sorry guys, I'd give you some, but you're supposed to be on a diet. Hey, I can give you

non-food items, though! Let's see...a brand new water gun for Heero, a nice (nonlethal so you can keep it) scythe and a Playstation for Duo, a recording of 'Silent Night' for Wufei, since he likes it so much, some different Christmas/holiday movies and a new flute for Trowa, and for Quatre, some tea, new shirts in various colors other than pink, and a gift certificate to the nearest music store. *hands items out* Merry christmas!

Duo: *playing some weird game* Buahahahahahaha!! I am Shinigami!! Fear meeeeeeeee!!!!! DIEEEE KAWASHORKIAN SPACE INVADERS!! DIEEEEEEE!!!!

Heero: *gets Trowa with the water gun* 

Trowa: *sputter* Hey!

Heero: Hehehe.

Wufei: *sings along to Silent Night*

Quatre: TEA!!! Ohhhhhh….I can put this in my new teacup and……*goes into his own little tea dimension*

Cherry Blossom: Guuuys…

G-Boyz: *ignore her*

Cherry Blossom: GUYS! REVIEWS NOW, PLAY TIME LATER!

Duo: Aw, man! You made me die!

Mateo: Evil Anime Chick writes, 

::blink blink:: Right...*ahem* anywho, are ya gonna have that chirstmas special? Are ya? Cuz I have gifts for the g-boys and Matteo and Dilly and, of course, Cherry Blossom.

Dilly: *perks up* Gift for me? Does it……..buuuuuuuuuuuurn?

Cherry Blossom: *glares*

Dilly: *shuts up again*

Matteo: 

One more thing, if you guys are still debating on who has the best ass...I say Trowa has the cutest ass ever known to mankind!!!::drops a crate of beverages infront of Matteo:: Ja

Trowa: Uh huh.

Duo: *snorts* Just 'cause he wears those tight pants…

Matteo: Drinks…….*falls on the beverages and worships Evil Anime Chick*

Cherry Blossom: Uh…seeing how Matteo's busy at the moment…

Matteo: *guzzles down cherry-coke like there's no tomorrow*

Cherry Blossom: I'll read the next one. SaiyanGrrrl666 writes, 

hehehe............ welp, there's one thing I learned from all of this...... the guy is obsessed with moss and thorns. Poor Poor G-boys *sigh* they are being tortured soo bad.....meaning...keep up the good work cherry!! I hope that Shinigami over there is not eating too much sweets, they are bad for you

Duo: *wipes the chocolate off his face guiltily*

Cherry Blossom:

...but who cares. DON'T give Heero the gun... I know he wants it back, but imagine all the property damage you would do Hee-chan, especially the body count!! *Shivers*

Heero: *creepy smile* Yeah….just imagine….

Quatre: *inches away from Heero*

Cherry Blossom: 

Anywhoo...give Duo and Wu-chan a kiss from me. OK!! Keep on writing! JA!! P.S. I need Treize (the hampster) really bad...when you are done can you lend him to ME?!!

Duo: Noooooooooooo!! Don't bring the evil hamster BACK!

Cherry Blossom: Trieze is green-chan's little buddy so you'll have to ask HER if you can borrow her killing machine ^__^ Actually I invited them over for Christmas dinner tonight.

Duo: *weeps* But he biiiiiiites!! My poor kawaii buuuuuuutttttttt!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *watches Matteo polish off the rest of the drinks* You finished?

Matteo: *burp* Uh…excuse me. Yeah. Shinigami no Kamikaze writes, 

Patriotic today, aren't we Cherry? ^_^ 

Cherry Blossom: I'm patriotic EVERYDAY!

Heero: You're psycotic everyday.

Cherry Blossom: : p

Matteo: 

Aaanyway, sowwy if I mead you feel bad *makes big sad eyes, and hands over Pocky to her with a pretty little bow on it* Aww.. but Wufei and Duo are sooo kewl.. *gives them more pocky, too, Duo's having a Deathscythe Hell Custom keychain hanging off of it.. just 'cause she has about 3* hmmm... *looks at the other g boys* Well... *slips Heero a taser and whispers 'I know it's not a gun, but maybe you can slip it by Cherry'.. 

Cherry Blossom: *takes taser away* Nope.

Heero: Smeg.

Matteo: 

then looks at Quatre and Trowa* Umm... uhhh.... sorry, you guys. After you had to suffer that overly redundant poem, too... Well.. hiliarious eps., Cherry. Gotta run *disappears to write a couple of essays for evil teachers who all assigned essays at once*

Trowa: Hey, don't you have an English ISU due tomorrow?

Cherry Blossom: Um….I'm working on it.

Wufei: Suuuuuuure.

Matteo: Shinimegami Winner writes,

...wow... I have to say... that was incredibly s t u p i d ... whew... Wordsworth...shudder... I'm utterly speechless with the stupidity of that poem... 

Wufei: Yeah. I'll never be able to look at a thorn the same way again…

Matteo: 

Now...as for Duo... You owe me a pizza!!!!!!!!! That was my breakfast!!!!!! Grrr...

Quatre: Ewwwwwww. Pizza for breakfast?

Duo: Nothing better.

Cherry Blossom: Obviously you were never a starving student. Pizza is the breakfast of champions. And popcorn is a staple food group.

Matteo: Caro-chan says,

Heeheeheeheehee!! ^_^ They just get better and better! That has got to be the most pointless poem I've ever read. Smeg. 

Cherry Blossom: She said smeg!! You win a prize!!!

Heero: What's the prize?

Cherry Blossom: Here, have a Sandrock plushie *hands over kawaii stuffed doll*

Matteo: 

Oh, and I found some pocky for ya, Cherry-sama! (chucks her a few boxes) 

Cherry Blossom: Arigato Caro-chan!

Matteo: Thanks for the chocolate, Wu-man, it was yummy! Don't ever stop writing, Cherry-sama! And, oh yeah, you still rule. (Bows deeply, waves at Dilly-sama, and blows more kisses to Duo-sama) P.S. I'm from Wisconsin, that's not too far off from

Canada, is it? ^_^

Trowa: Um…isn't that the place with lots of cheese?

Cherry Blossom: *perks up* Cheese! I LOVE CHEESE!!! Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Matteo: chibi-chan^_~* writes, 

chibi-chan: O.o it seems that guy was *really* in touch with nature... maybe a lil' too much! a poem about moss... and he actually got this published?

Wufei: Guess so.

Matteo: 

::glomps Quatre:: Q-KUN!! ::hands him tons of almond pocky

Quatre: Mmm…almonds.

Duo: *sings* Sometimes you feel like a nut…

Heero: You're always a nut.

Duo: Hey! *pouts*

Matteo: Dariana Night writes, 

(pulls out Katana) whoever makes fun of Wu-Koi must Die!!!!! Oh and Koibito your ass is definently the hottest of all the Gundam pilots ^_^

Wufei: *smirks*

Quatre: Would you guys give up the hottest ass thing already?

Cherry Blossom: I still say that sexy Zechsy has the hottest ass. Why is no one agreeing with me?

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Chetiche Barton write, 

Lucky:~all better~KEEP THIS GOING TILL YOU DIE!!MWAHAHAH!!!

Chetiche:~cocks eyebrow~And why would she want to write this till she dies?

Lucky: Cos I SAID SO! Ohh....my Language Arts Teacher, she's real cool and all but she likes William Shakespeare. Actually, she took it in collage and she told me her teacher was a hunk so I guess thats why...that was about*couts*50 or 60 years ago.*shrug*I still say he sucks.

Cherry Blossom: She had the hots for her TEACHER? Ick…

Matteo:

Chetiche:Go jump off a cliff.

Lucky:Why would I do that?Oh and (for some odd reason)it reminds me...a very big apology is in order for Wufei...I'm really sorry about the way I treated you in My anime Awrds Part I fic.

Wufei: *sniff* Well you should be.

I'm just really sorry but my friend wanted to beat you up so I let her.In part II I'll try and not to bash you*snickers*RELENA GOT WORST EVERYTHING! MWAHAHAHA!!

~runs away to find Ken and squeeze him and Wormmon to death~

Chetiche:Yeah...listen Keep writin and all the other stuff and CANADA RULES!Well,I don't live in Canada but I visited once and it ruled!

Cherry Blossom: CANA—

G-Boyz: NO!

Cherry Blossom: *pouts*

Matteo: 

BYEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

Lucky:*comes back*Oh I 4got to give Presents,Duo you get a lifetime's supply of chocolate pocky...*checks watch*It should be coming soon,Heero,since I really like you,you will get a Nerf Gun and a Super Soaker 2500,Trowa,umm a 100$ gift certificate to Barnes and Noble,Quatre,200$ worth of Blue,and White Polo shirts,Wufei...a golden Katana,Matteo...a gift certificate to the movies and Cherry...A book of Crappy Poems,A BRAND NEW CAR and a Laptop!JA!

Cherry Blossom: Whoo hoo!! A car!! And not just any car. It's a………WINNIBAGO!! (hehe see Clecky. I got one too)

Matteo: Hilde says, 

Wow! That was a .... stupid..... poem! I agree, obsession with moss and thorns. This guys has WAY too much free time. 

Duo: Hey Hilde! You came back! I was sure you went home after Cherry kicked you out last time.

Matteo:

Yes, I did come back. Hey, Duo, remember, we're going to the beach tonight... I'm sure it will MORE than make up for this "cruel and unusual" torture.... heeheehee. I'll be waiting. *seriously kisses Duo before she leaves* Bye!

Duo: *dreamy look*

Cherry Blossom: *clears throat*

Duo: Huh? Oh..uh….yeah….

Matteo: Hawk writes,

Let me Restate myself.. Relena MUST Die!!!! Oh hey Merry Christmas guys! *Hawk gives CHRISTmas stockings to all the pilots and Cherry Blossom. ( Cherry-sama gets ice cream and pocky and earmuffs, 

Cherry Blossom: Aw, thanks Hawk. I needed these. *puts on earmuffs and starts to dip the pocky in the ice cream*

Matteo: 

another gun for Heero buried underneath detailed plans on the massacre of Relena that is being hosted next week, 

Cherry Blossom: *zaps the gun away* Nuh uh. Not in MY house, buddy.

Heero: Grr…

Matteo: 

Duo gets Dr. Pepper and chocolate and a kiss from Hawks friend EvA, 

Duo: *blushes* Is it just me or is there an excessive amount of misletow going around?

Wufei: It's just you.

Matteo: 

Trowa gets a new mask, and a cook book, 

Trowa: Hmm…..how to cook for 500 maguanacs…..

Matteo: 

A boquet of Flowers with a gun in them for Quatre, 

Quatre: *sniffs the flowers* What a nice gift *hides gun in his vest*

Cherry Blossom: I saw that. Give it here.

Quatre: Aw, smeg.

Cherry Blossom: They don't call me omnipotent for nothing,

Heero: They don't call you omnipotent at all.

Cherry Blossom: Spoil my fun…

Matteo:

and for Wu-Man, a set of Kantanas dating back to 8th century A.D. Oh, hey Quatre, where you insulting me or Wu-man? 

Quatre: Wu—

Wufei: *glares at Quatre*

Quatre: Uh…I can't remember.

Wufei: *smirks and nods*

Matteo: 

Luv you guys!! * Hawk leaves Matteo a bottle of Aspirin.

Matteo: Oh. My. GOD! You have NO idea how much I needed this. *takes bottle of aspirin and kisses it. Then grovels at Hawk's feet* Thankyouthankyouthankyou ^__^ 

Cherry Blossom: Next letter, please.

Matteo: Starblade a.k.a. Goddess of Death writes,

Those were great!!! ^-^ Not the poems but the torture fics in general..heheh. VERY funny!! An excellent read. You know, you really should give Matteo a break. He's been doing SUCH a great job. You don't give him enough credit. Maybe give him a vacation? 

Cherry Blossom: Hhmph.

Matteo: Y' know I've heard that the Bahamas are nice this time of year…

Cherry Blossom: Don't be silly Teo-chan. We don't have that kind of money.

Matteo: *sigh* I know, I know.

Just a suggestion. *gives Matteo a box of pocky with many different flavors* Anyway, I think you should have Duo sing again. He's just so great ^-^ Love ya Shinigami-chan! ~.^ *gives him 10 boxes of pocky and pixie stix each* That'll keep ya busy for a while... *gives Quatre 2 boxes of pixies cuz she pities the poor blonde* I'm not giving Heero, Trowa, and Wufei anything cuz..well.. I just don't like them...I would have said something else but I read the warnings on the bashing so...

Cherry Blossom: Finally, SOMEONE reads the warnings!

Heero/Trowa/Wufei: *wounded look* Hey.

Wufei: Well I don't like you either.

Matteo: 

heheh ^-^* Anyway, I got a couple poems for torture but I can't find them...they're in my drawer.. um.. somewhere... I'll fish 'em out later. Keep up the great work! *hands her many boxes of pixies, pocky, and other assorted candies and sugar* You're a great authoress!! Keep writing!! C-ya! *blows a kiss to Duo* Later koibito.. *disappears in a flash of black light*

Heero: And again I have no supporters.

Duo: Aw, Heero that's not true. Clecky likes you and so does Black Tiger and a whole bunch of other people.

Cherry Blossom: Don't forget meeeeeeeeee. All bow down to psycho spandex boy!

Heero: Thanks……I think. 

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes,

GO CHERRY BLOSSOM! My GOD that was the STUPIDEST poem! And, and if you do a Holiday episode, inculde some Hannukah poems, pweeeeeease? [shiny eyes] For moi and all them Jewish peeps out there???

Cherry Blossom: Juliana-chan this is YOUR lucky day! I just HAPPEN to have a kickass Jewish Hannukah song with me annnnnnnnnnnd the G-Boyz are gonna help me sing it!

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: ENTHUSIASM! Don't make me get Treize…

G-Boyz: *biiiiiiig scary smiles*

Cherry Blossom: Cue the music, Matteo!

Matteo: Cueing music………now!

Quatre: *clears throat and sings* 

Put on your yalmulka, here comes Hanukkah

Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate Hanukkah,

Trowa: 

Hanukkah is the Festival of Lights,

Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights. 

Cherry Blossom: 

When you feel like the only kid in town without

a Xmas tree,

Heres a list of people who are Jewish, just like

you and me:

Quatre: I'm Arabic.

Duo: I'm Catholic.

Wufei: I worship Nataku.

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: Shut up! You'll ruin the song.

David Lee Roth lights the menorrah,

So do James Caan, Kirk Douglas, and the late

Dinah Shore-ah

Wufei: Who?

Trowa:

Guess who eats together at the Karnickey Deli,

Bowzer from Sha-na-na, and Arthur

Fonzerrelli.

Duo: Mmmmm….deli meat *drools*

Cherry Blossom:

Paul Newmans half Jewish; Goldie Hawns half too,

Put them together--what a fine lookin Jew!

Quatre: How old is Goldie Hawn anyway?
    Heero: That question must never be answered.

Matteo: 

You don't need Deck the Halls or Jingle Bell Rock

Cause you can spin the dreidl with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock--both

Jewish!

Wufei: Trekkies!! Noooooooooooo! The horror!!

Duo: 

Put on your yalmulka, its time for

Hanukkah,

The owner of the Seattle Supersonic-ahs

celebrates Hanukkah.

Quatre: Really?

Duo: *shrugs* I'm a Hornet's fan myself…

Trowa:

O.J. Simpson not a Jew!

But guess who is...Hall of Famer--Rod

Carew--(he converted!)

Wufei: I am NOT singing, onna. It's humiliating.

Cherry Blossom: *takes a deep breath* TREIZE—

Wufei: Okay, okay! Sheesh. *sings*

We got Ann Landers and her sister Dear

Abby, Harrison Fords a quarter Jewish-- not too shabby!

Trowa: 

Some people think that Ebeneezer Scrooge is,

Well, he's not, but guess who is: All three stooges.

Cherry Blossom: I didn't know that….

Duo: I did!

Heero: You would.

Duo: And just what is _that_ supposed to mean?

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: 

So many Jews are in show biz--

Tom Cruise isn¹t, but I heard his agent is.

Quatre: 

Tell your friend Veronica, its time you celebrate Hanukkah

I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely,

lovely Hanukkah.

Duo: Harmonica? Who writes this stuff?

Wufei: Adam Sandler.

Heero: That explains it.

Trowa:

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and

smoke your marajuanic-ah,

Cherry Blossom: Aahah! You can't mention THAT! It's illegal!

Trowa: So?

Everybody: 

If you really, really wanna-kah, Have a

happy, happy, happy, happy Hanukkah!!!!!!!

Heero: I'm glad that's over.

Cherry Blossom: You're such a Scrooge.

Heero: Huh?

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes, 

*blinks* Is it just me or are these poems getting worse? 

Wufei: It's not just you. Trust me.

Matteo:

*gives everyone a new box of Pixi Stix, even Cherry and Matteo too* These don't have many calories actually ^^ But really, that poem! Oo At least it isn't the Fairie Queen that has entire Volumes of stanzas Oo Another great job guys! ^^ P.S. If you must speak of cute butts, Duo's is the most kawaii of kawaiiness!!!! ^^v

Duo: Yeah! I have the kawaiiest butt!

Trowa: I don't think kawaiiest is a word…

Cherry Blossom: I STILL say that Zechsy has the cutest butt. Doesn't ANYBODY agree with me?

Wufei: No.

Quatre: *pouts* How come no one ever mentions MY butt?

Cherry Blossom: 'Cause we're to busy gazing into your kawaii eyes.

Quatre: *blushes* Oh. 

Matteo: mandy writes,

Duo: Hey! No fair! She already reviewed!!!

Matteo: 

yes i am reviewing again get over it boys i finished reading the rest of this series this is going to sound gross but the hentai one was my favorite so far i couldn't stop laughing. oh yeah if you decided to do crappy song theater there are two songs that you should do Indepentent Woman by Destany's Child, and Arms Wide Open by Creed That song is so over played and written its not even funny oh well later

Cherry Blossom: I like Creed. But you're right. They overplay that song sooooooooooo much. Plus it gets in your head and you can't NOT sing it.

Matteo: Little green writes,

Weeeeeh!!! Treize wants dietetic carrot sticks tooooo!! O r else he will all slaughter you... Hehehehe.... (Evil smirk, with an eye bigger than the other and all) 

Duo: I can do that. *tries to copy evil smirk and ends up making a weird, constipated face*

Wufei: *bursts out laughing*

Duo: What?

Wufei: *still laughing*

BTW, more crappy!! We want it!!! Treize sez he thought The GW boyz tasted good and he'd like to bite them agaiiinn!!! :p :p :p And me?? I just say I want the crappy PT 7!!! Yayay!!!

Cherry Blossom: Well here it is…aren't you proud of me?

Heero: No.

Trowa: : p

Matteo: TrowaGirl writes, 

Duo: Hey! She reviewed already too!!

Heero: What's with all the two time reviewers? Isn't FF.net supposed to stop that from happening?

Trowa: *shrug*

Matteo: 

Oh forgot to say If you are doing a Holiday special you should give Matteo a break! I would be even willing to do it. Well have to go the store ran out of pocky! Ja! *Winks at Trowa* See you after the show!

Trowa: Uh….bye?

Matteo: Can I have a break? Please?

Cherry Blossom: Well…..since TrowaGirl says she'll take over for you……okay. It's Christmas after all. *zaps TrowaGirl into the fic*

TrowaGirl: Hey! How did I get here?

Cherry Blossom: Magical zapping power. Welcom to Crappy Poem Theater…well….my house, actually. 

TrowaGirl: YOU'RE CHERRY BLOSSOM?!

Cherry Blossom: Yep.

TrowaGirl: I thought you'd be taller…

Trowa: Can we get on with this?

TrowaGirl: *eyes go wide* Trowa! *glomps him*

Trowa: Urgh.

Cherry Blossom: Umm….I hate to interrupt but you DID say that you'd do the letters for Matteo-chan.

TrowaGirl: *releases Trowa reluctantly* All right. Umm…..Hawk writes, 

Duo: TWICE REVIEWER! AGAIN!!

Quatre: The madness has GOT to stop.

TrowaGirl:

* Hawk sneaks back in, and brings Quatre a set of Old navy pull overs, and turtle neck sweaters and frost free vest. Gives Duo a Playstation, and a Playstation 2, and a DVD player, and Pocky, She brings in 2 more beamcannons, disguised as toys, for the Wu-man and Heero, and for Heero a Relena detector, so he can avoid her, and that Relena protective spray. Hawk gives Trowa a collection of violent video games, and a playstation so he doesn't have to watch crappy holiday movies! * Ja Ne, Merry Christmas, from Hawk!!!

G-Boyz: PRESENTS!!

Cherry Blossom: After. *zaps them to the present room….which just so happens to be her bedroom*

G-Boyz: *pout*

TrowaGirl: White Blaze Wannabe writes,

Poor g-boys. Those poems are cruel and unusual punishment. And what's with that guy and moss? I thought it was going to hentai! EEP! And Duo! Get your mind outta the gutter! 

Duo: *whines* Whaaaaaaat?

Cherry Blossom: Men…

TrowaGirl: 

But anyways...keep it up. This series rocks!

Cherry Blossom: *smug grin* It does, doesn't it?

G-Boyz: NO!

TrowaGirl: Meg Uchuno ( glares at Trowa ) Sarcasim is MY thing! Go back to being a quiet clown! 

Trowa: : p

TrowaGirl: 

::sigh:: I'd really like to know what that poet was smoking. Whatever it is, it should be made illegal. Well, these CPT's just keep getting better and better! You, Blossom-san, have a talent for this. An odd talent, I grant you, but still its a talent. Its just so bloody funny to see you people other then me getting tourtured. Note to self, must kill my sister, Carrie, for making me miss anime. THATS PAST THE REALM OF TOUTURE! ITS JUST PLAIN EVIL! Injustice... 

Wufei: *opens mouth*

Heero: *deathglareX20* Don't say it…

Wufei: *closes mouth*

TrowaGirl: 

::smiles evily:: anyway, my faithful and brave gundam pilots, I have gifts for you. ::see's Blossom-san giving her a nasty look:: Iie, there not guns! For you, Duo, the grand Shinigami, the great destroyer, a scthye. Heero, the perfect solder ::struggles to keep a straight face::, i give you a sword. Trowa, you get a crossbow! Wufei, you get a triton, and last but not least, Quatre! you get these two scikles! There the weapon's on your gundams, only mid-evil, kinda... Use them well, like getting your pocky-loving selves outta there! 

Cherry Blossom: No pointy objects. *takes the gifts away* We don't want people getting hurt.

Wufei: Yes we do…

TrowaGirl: 

BTW- what in the name of Kami-sama does 'smeg' mean?! 

Cherry Blossom: What does smeg mean? What does smeg mean?! It means…….it's just………SMEG! It's like when you just finished a really long and important english assignment on the computer and you're just about to save it and the power goes out and you go………SMEG! And proceed to blow up your computer.

Matteo: She's INSANE!

Cherry Blossom: Buahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! YES!!!!

TrowaGirl:

:: hears her sister coming up behind her:: HOLY KAMI-SAMA! Save me! She's come to steal my laptop to look up evil make-up websites! ::grabs her glave and jumps into the fic, much to the surprise of everyone:: Can I...anou... hide out here? 

Cherry Blossom: Uh…I guess so. Can you sing?

Matteo: What's wrong with your sister?

Meg: She's evil I tell you! SHE MADE ME MISS MY ANIME! I hope... I don't get in you way, honorable Blossom-san, honorable Mattoe-san. I'll endure crappy poems over being toutured by Carrie. ::holds glave tightly and mutters:: stupied make-up loving freak! Her and her stupied cosmicitics. Onna's who wear make-up are evil! too bad i can't use my glave on her! she's just make it disapper like she did to my last one. ::sigh:: Well, i'll just stay here and hope to Kami-sama you let me stay. Being around her when she's putting on make-up and singing Christina Agulara ::shudders:: is horrid. Oi! By jove! This review is getting really long. ::pulls up a chair, inbetween Duo and Wufei:: I'll just sit here, relax, and hope you G-guys enjoy my weapons.

Duo: Got anymore? Cherry took the other ones away.

Quatre: With all the weapons she's taken away from us, Cherry's got to have quite the arsenal by now.

Trowa: What are you going to do with all those explosives?

Cherry Blossom: *evil grin* Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! That's for me to know and you to live in fear with.

TrowaGirl: Mistress of Death writes,

It just gets funnier and funnier... ROFTLMAO!!

Duo: Don't hurt yourself laughing.

Wufei: You'd know about that wouldn't you?

Duo: : P

TrowaGirl: Dark Heart says, 

Great, as usual! I honostly don't see how you could write 23 parts about... a *thorn*. And all those people bashing Shakespeare should read either A Midsummer Night's Dream, or Much Ado About Nothing. They're funny, they (mostly) make sense, and they aren't tragic. ^_^ 

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, Much Ado About Nothing is good. Have you seen the movie with—

Wufei: We don't care.

Cherry Blossom: *pouts*

TrowaGirl: 

And if I can't give anybody guns, then I can give them something almost as good. *drumroll* BLOW POPS! YAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!

Duo: BLOW POPS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! *crunch*

Quatre: So…how many licks does it take to get to the center?

Wufei: 62.

Trowa: You counted?

Duo: Only takes me one *crunch……pop*

Cherry Blossom: You guys are hopeless.

TrowaGirl: Nightheart writes, 

*grins* I like this! (short, sweet, and to the point.) I like this!

Cherry Blossom: I like it too.

Heero: I don't.

Cherry Blossom: Quit whining.

TrowaGirl: Matteo's Koi writes,

Matteo: *blinks* My…..koi? *gulps*

TrowaGirl: 

HIYAAAAAAAAAAAAA! ::glomps Matteo! and says in a sexy voice:: Hello lover. How you doing? I just looooooooooved the episode with you in the tight sheakspere clothes! ::giggles:: KAWAIIIIIIIIIIII! I can't wait to see you in episode 7! ::huggs tighter:: 

Matteo: Urgh…..need to….breathe….

TrowaGirl: 

I just love you and your awsome hair and pretty eyes! GIVE MATTEO HIS OWN SHOW CHER! 

Cherry Blossom: I'll think about it.

TrowaGirl: 

Matteo, meet at at Chez Piere tonight at 7. Dress nice and bring a ton of yen, it's a very expensive resurant for absorded lovers! ::giggles!:: I just LOVE Matteo! Oh, I just love you! IloveyouIloveyouIloveyouIlove! ::eyes get all sparkly:: ohhhhhhh! I know! Lets get married! ::huggs tighter:: 

Matteo: *big eyes* Uh….married? Maybe we should…I dunno…go out on a date first?

Duo: *snicker*

TrowaGirl:

Lets see.... ::pulls out a planner:: I'm free next tuesday! Lets do it then! We'll be as happy as can be! We be'll a wonderful couple! Just like Heero and the brilliant Relena, Duo and the smart Hilde, Quatre and the beautiful Dorothy, Trowa and the absorded Midii, and Wufei and the strong Sally! ::lightbulb goes off above head:: Hey! Lets all share a wedding! We'll do it on Tuesday! We can have a six-way wedding! 

Matteo: *panicking* Uh….

Wufei: You sure are articulate, aren't you.

Quatre: I'm NOT marrying Dorothy. She stabbed me!

TrowaGirl:

Imagine, Me, getting hitched to the dreamy Matteo with the gundam pilots! ::huggs tighter:: WOW! KAWAII! Oh I love it! I can't wait until Tuesday! ::blows kisses at Matteo:: See ya then koi! I love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Matteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeo!

Matteo: *dazed*

Duo: Don't worry, man. We'll organize the bachelor party on Moday!

Matteo: I'm NOT getting married.

Trowa: Suuuuuuuure.

Matteo: Well if I'm getting married then you are getting married with me.

Duo: Nuh uh. I like bachelor life, thank you.

Cherry Blossom: Guuuuuuuys, the reviews? I don't have all night, you know.

Quatre: Yes you do.

Cherry Blossom: ……

TrowaGirl: Trieze (No, still not the hamster), Zechs, Noin, and Lady Une writes, 

(Treize): *looking slightly miffed* Again, quite entertaining, my lady Cherry *hands her a white rose*, 

Cherry Blossom: *takes rose with a dreamy look on her face and makes stupid girly cooing noises*

TrowaGirl:

however, please inform Wufei-san that he needs not act like it is some sort of horrible misdeed, and the rest of you should heed that same advice. (Saint Une): *Comes up behind Trieze and puts her arms around him* *purrs* I don't know, Treize-sama, you're wild enough to make any one a bit sore...However, these poems would probably hurt more, and not in the good way, either *wince* poor Wufei. 

Quatre: *blinks* I'm not sure…but I think that I'm being corrupted again.

Heero: Oh shut up.

TrowaGirl:

(Zechs): I actually wrote my own poem about this! It's a limer...something...(Treize): Limerick, Miri-chan, Limerick. (Zechs): Ah yes, that's it! 

Everybody: O_o

Trowa: Zechs made a limerick.

Quatre: About Crappy Poem Theater.

G-Boyz: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Quiet! Sexy Zechsy is speaking!

TrowaGilr:

*Clears throat* Ahem..."These poems are among the most heinous of curses. However, my own attempts are worses. Please release our dear Dragon, for at night when we're shaggin', he tends to shout out the horrible verses." 

G-Boyz: O_o

Quatre: Heeeeeeeelp.

Heero: Omeo o korosu!

Cherry Blossom: *star eyes* That was WONDERFUL Zechsy! But…would you mind turning around for a minute?

Matteo: She wants to check out your butt.

Cherry Blossom: *blushes* Matteo! Omeo o korosu!!

Matteo: But it's true!

TrowaGirl:

(All): *applaud politely* (Noin): Yes, and that reminds me of another thing...Wufei, can you try and stop yelling out Duo's name? I know you're in love with him, but really, it reminds me of when I sleep with Hilde...you're the same way! Why don't the two of you _share_ him? 

Wufei and Duo: *blush*

(Zechs): Yeah! Don't be ashamed of your size, Wufei, you're bigger than Heero _EVER_ was! 

Wufei and Heero: *blush*

Cherry Blossom: Hmm….I'm thinking that I'm gonna have to put the rating of this fic up. It's getting hentai.

(Saint Une): And how would you know this, Milliardo? (Zechs): Uh...*sweatdrops* I heard it from my sister? (Trieze): *Shakes head* Nevertheless, it was good...but please, Cherry dear, consider releasing Wufei from this torture? *Hands her another rose* 

Cherry Blossom: *sighs and sniffs the roses* Mmm….I love flowers…..

Wufei: Does this mean you'll let me go?

Cherry Blossom: *now nuzzling the roses* Flowers………hmm? Oh…sure Wufei.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Duo: You can't let Wufei go! It's not fair!!

Trowa: Yeah. You can't just let him go because Trieze gave you flowers.

Cherry Blossom: *sigh* I suppose you're right. Sorry Fei-chan. You stay.

Wufei: *pouts*

TrowaGirl: 

(Saint Une): *Changes into Colonel Une* Treize! I thought you promised to only give roses to me! Looks like you'll have to make it up to me somehow...*takes him and forces him into the closet with her* (Noin): Anyway, good job! Keep it up!

Cherry Blossom: Will do!

TrowaGirl: Desperate Angel writes, 

Hi again. I know y'all are really tired of me by not but, hey, I just can't stay away from the G-Boys..or the masterpiece that is CPT. Can't believe y'all don't know what Nilla is. That's..just..so...sad. I mean, it's only the most deilicious cookie/cracker/snack/thing ever invented. Sheesh. 

Cherry Blossom: Maybe it's not available in Canada. Do you guys get……..NUTTER BUTTERS? MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! *runs amuck for a bit*

Duo: YEAH! NUTTER BUTTERS!!! *runs amuck with Cherry*

TrowaGirl: 

As for shinola..well...that...that must remain a secret for reasons that I can't divulge *Sei-chan poofs in, munching on Nilla as always* It's cos she doesn't know, you know? *Des grrs and thwonks him good with a mdh* It's NOT true! I know perfectly well what it is, damn BAKA muse-type person! *coughs, grins innocently and hides the mdh behind her back* Oh yeah, be nicer to Hee-chan. I mean, yeah he acts like a cold bastard, but I bet he's a sweet, soft cuddly bear on the inside, ne Hee-chan? *gives a big hug* 

Heero: Er…..*blushes*

TrowaGirl:

Erm..I'd better go now! *offers Duo a HUGE bad of Choco Kisses, gives the rest Pocky since no one knows or likes Nilla. Gives Cherry her own BIG mecha-industrial sized box* Merry Christmas, Minna!

Cherry Blossom: Merry Christmas! Happy Hannaka! Kawaii Kwanza! Gundams Greetings! 

TrowaGirl: The_Wise_Insane_one writes, 

**stands next to a flaming Christmas tree** Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care. This is cool.

G-Boyz: O_o

Trowa: Er…yeah.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *deathglareX100*

Dilly: Uh……burn? 

TrowaGirl: Arcanite writes, 

**appears out of nowhere in her human form, is attemting(and failing miserably) to hide her laughter** Poor G-boys! **Glares at William Wordsworth** HOW DARE YOU WRITE SUCH AN AWFUL POEM! **switches to her Arcanite form and flamethrowers Willy until he's several kabillion assorted atoms, then changes back to human** By the way, tell the G-boys that I'll get them out if they will go on dates with me(at least 5, one for each of 'em cause I can't decide which one I like most!). Arcanite out!**Grins idiotically and teleports out**

Trowa: What do you guys think?

Wufei: Anything to get out of here.

Cherry Blossom: Oh no ya don't. I've got big plans for you guys. We need to keep going until at least the tenth episode.

Quatre: Booooooooooooooooooooooooooh ;_;

TrowaGirl: Sage, Mistress of Magic says, 

That was funny. I feel sorry for the Gundam Pilots. Hey Heero, here.*hands him a gun* Cherry, you're a good writer, but the guys don't deserve listening to these CRAPPY poems. Even I write better poems then these people, and my poems are sh*t. Love ya Gundam Guys!!! ^_~

Quatre: We love you too.

Heero: Hn…

Wufei: Weak onna…

Trowa: ………..

Duo: NUTTER BUTTER!!!

Matteo: *sweatdrops*

Cherry Blossom: *sweatdrops*

TrowaGirl: *sweatdrops* Tyleet writes, 

OMG!!! VERY FUNNY!! TOTAL NONSENSE!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! ::shouts:: Look cherry!!! behind you!!!

Cherry Blossom: Where? *looks*

TrowaGirl:

::gives heero another gun while cherry looks behind her:: ::whispers:: Hide it quick heero!! anyway, love it!!! I don't know what pocky is, but since this was so good you can have some! ::gives everyone in the fic pocky:: Yep, you too cherry! Bye! Love it!!

Cherry Blossom: I still don't see what you're—Heero! Is that a gun in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Heero: I'm happy to see you.

Cherry Blossom: I don't think so. Give me the gun.

Heero: Smeg. *gives Cherry the gun*

TrowaGirl: Kimbo writes, 

Good. Hope u get my poem b4 u do the next 1. Sry Chang, but this is to good an oppertunity to torture the others.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: I don't know if I got your poem or not. My e-mail thingie has been acting up lately. Stupid modern technology…

TrowaGirl: GeminiTiger writes, 

Yogurt....*Shudders* I'd eat yogurt if they made it pocky flavored...Then again, I've never HAD pocky before, so Duo, you can quit whining when no one gives you pocky. Unless someone's willing to share. 

G-Boyz: *stare*

Heero: She's never had pocky…

Duo: Well for God's sake I'll SEND you some pocky! Sheesh. The poor thing's depraved. Here, have some complimentary Christmas Pocky.

TrowaGirl: 

*Sighs* I'd give you a gun, Heero, but I'm more into swords and sharp pointy objects. *Evil laugh* Since you poor cute bishounen can't have pocky anymore (glares at Cherry Blossom) 

Cherry Blossom: *shrugs* They were getting fat.

TrowaGirl:

you can have....Eggnog!! Yay!! Don't worry, it's not spiked or anything. Meri kurisumasu, minna!! Ja ne!!! *Hugs Wufei, then runs off laughing*

Duo: Hmm…..I'll just have to spike it for you then…

Cherry Blossom: Never mind.

Duo: But—

Cherry Blossom: Never. Mind.

TrowaGirl: Tsuki Yuuki writes, 

another HILARIOUS torture session for the G-Boyz! GO CHERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: YEAH!! GO ME!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Wufei: *looks down at eggnog* Duo….

Duo: I didn't spike it. I SWEAR. I didn't have time.

Matteo: Relax. It's just the after effects of the twelve gingerbread cookies she had before you came. 

Cherry Blossom: GINGERBREEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAD!!!!

TrowaGirl:

*whips out chocolate pocky* have some pocky, everyone!!!!!! *throws pocky to all, including Cherry, Matteo, Dilly, and Treize the security hamster* i didn't leave you out, Cherry! 

Duo: *panicks* Trieze is here? *looks around*

Trieze: *looks up from his pocky* Hehehehe….*flys over to bite the G-Boyz in the butt*

Duo: OWOWOWOWOWOOWOWWOWOWOWOWWWWW!!!! ITAI!

Quatre: Boooooooooooooooooooooooh ;_;

Trowa: *opens mouth*

Cherry Blossom: Ratings!

Trowa: *closes mouth*

Heero: Omeo korosu!!

Matteo Ah ha! I didn't get bit this time.

Trieze: *grins…then goes over and bites Matteo too*

Matteo: OW!!

Cherry Blossom: Teach you to be cocky. Hey green-chan! I didn't hear you come in.

Little-green: Your mom let me in.

Cherry Blossom: Oh. Well, pull up a stol—borrowed chair and have some pocky and eggnog.

Little-green: Don't mind if I do. *plops down in the chair beside Trowa* Hi Tro-chan!

Trowa: …….

Little-green: I thought you'd say that.

TrowaGirl:

*takes out flamethrower* OI!!! Heero! have a flamethrower!!! *pleadingly* please let him keep it, Cherry? pretty please!!! 

Cherry Blossom: Oh noooooooo. This is MY house. If this burns down my mom will KILL me. No flamethrowers. *zaps flamethrower away*

TrowaGirl: 

BTW, I'M A CANUCK TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Sorry, didn't hear you. I had my earmuff on. CANADA!! I think we need to hear the rant. 

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: C'mon out here Joe.

Joe: *clears throat* 

I am not a lumberjack or a fur trader.

I do not live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dog sled.

I do not know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada, but I

am sure they are really, really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a President.

I speak English and French, NOT American. And I pronounce it

'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.

I can proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack. I believe in peace

keeping, NOT policing. DIVERSITY, NOT assimilation,

AND THAT THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE ANIMAL.

A TOQUE IS A HAT, A CHESTERFIELD IS A COUCH,

AND IT IS PRONOUCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!

CANADA IS THE SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!

THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY!

AND THE BEST PART OF NORTH AMERICA!

MY NAME IS JOE!!

AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *wild cheering* Yeah! You tell 'em Joe!

Trowa: *sigh*

TrowaGirl:

im gonna send you some poems to MST. eventually. gotta go, i have authors to see and fics to read! ~Tsuki-chan p.s. keep going!!!! its so fun seeing the kawaii G-Boyz tortured!!! p.p.s. I love ALL of their asses!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Yeah…I suppose it wouldn't be fair to choose between all those kawaii butts. You guys all have cute asses. 

TrowaGirl: And last but certainly not least…..Corra Mereel writes,

Me again *smiles and waves*!!!! That was TOO good!!! Where do you find such crappy poems? 

Cherry Blossom: Well, school. And would you believe that there's an actual site on the net?

Quatre: Oh Allah, no!

TrowaGirl:

Amazing yet again, keep it up. Luv ya Duo, and don't worry, I'll find you a way out! Byyeee!! *;-}

Quatre: Finally!

Wufei: How many reviews was that?

Heero: 44

Wufei: Too many.

Trowa: No kidding.

Cherry Blossom: You can never have too many reviews. I hoping that this hits fifty next time.

Matteo: You DO realize that you've wasted 79 pages just doing the reviews?

Cherry Blossom: Whoa. No wonder it took me three days to get through all of this. Oh well. Thanks for reading TrowaGirl. It was nice of you to give Matteo a break.

Matteo: Yeah. Thanks so much. My throat was getting sore.

Cherry Blossom: Have some eggnog and we'll go to the poem section.

Little-green: Yeah!

Trieze: *grin*

G-Boyz: *groan*

Cherry Blossom: Right. 

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene…doesn't change at all since we aren't actually _in_ a theater and Cherry Blossom's got a kick @ss home entertainment system.

Cherry Blossom: Well….that was a trip.

Duo: Got any more eggnog?

Cherry Blossom: No.

Quatre: Here. Have some tea.

Duo: *makes face* I hate tea. It's so……icky.

Quatre: *starts to tear up* You…don't like tea? Boooooooooooooooooooooooh ;_;

Trowa: *glares at Duo* Shh. It's okay, little one. I'm sure he didn't mean it.

Cherry Blossom: Er…yeah. Today we will be MSTing a classic Christmas poem.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Hehehe…'tis the season to be evil, fa, la, la, la, laaaaaaaa, la, la, la, laaaaaaaaaa!!!!

Wufei: This is injustice.

Duo: Whatever Wu-man.

Cherry Blossom: Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?

Matteo: Uh….disclaimer?

Cherry Blossom: Ohhhhh, right! Cue the disclaimer!!

Disclaimer: *sings to the tune of We Wish you A Merry Christmas* We don't own Gundam Wiiing, we don't own other thiings, we don't have any money so please don't sue uuuuuuuus!

G-Boyz: *blink*

Matteo: I like it!

Cherry Blossom: Very nice. Let's move on.

Matteo: **'Twas the Night Before Christmas or Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas **

Duo: Just pick a title and stick with it. Sheesh.

****

by Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863)

Wufei: Clement? *snorts* What a stupid name.

Trowa: I wouldn't talk Wuffie.

Wufei: Wuffei? KISAMA! 

****

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a

Duo: Politician!

Heero: Hairstylist!

Trowa: Zombie!

Quatre: Maguanac!

Wufei: Musicion!

Cherry Blossom: Pocky!

G-Boyz: O_o

Cherry Blossom: What?

**mouse;**

Everybody: Oh.

****

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;

Duo: Because only St. Nicholas, the patron saint of socks, could cure their horrible affliction of Athleat's Foot.

Quatre: Eww… 

****

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of 

Duo: Lady Une doing the Funky Chicken danced in their head.

Trowa: You're disturbed.

Duo: Oh, come on, Trowa. I know you've dreamed about that before.

Trowa: …….. 

****

sugar-plums danced in their heads;

And mamma in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,

Heero: 'Cause after the wild orgy the night before, we were too to move until Spring.

Everybody else: O_o

Cherry Blossom: HENTAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!

Heero: Hn…

Duo: What is in this eggnog?

****

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Wufei: Damn neighbors are _always_ having their stupid parties when everyone else is trying to sleep. 

****

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Quatre: And immediately tripped over the coffee table, cracked my skull open and died, the end.

Duo: Owch.

Trowa: Quatre!

Cherry Blossom: Don't be so depressing. It's Christmas!

Heero: Yay. 

****

Away to the window I flew like a flash,

Duo: It's Flash Gordon!

Cherry Blossom: Where?

Heero: *sigh*

****

Tore open the shutters and threw up

Everybody: Ewwwww!

Wufei: Too much eggnog.

****

the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Duo: *opens mouth*

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!

Duo: *closes mouth* 

****

Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below,

When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,

But

Wufei: Some annoying Salesmen!

Duo: Godzilla!

Heero: Wing-Zero! 

Cherry Blossom: An Alien!

Quatre: The end of this poem!

Trowa: I wish…

****

a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

Cherry Blossom: Their travel-size for your conveniance ^__^

****

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,

I knew in a moment it must be 

Heero: Regis Philman.

Duo: The Soup Nazi.

Trowa: Elvis.

Quatre: Uh……Stockwell Day?

Cherry Blossom: Eep! Noooooooooooooo! That guy scares meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

****

St. Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them 

Trowa: A cab because they had had a little too much to drink at the staff Christmas Party.

Cherry Blossom: Don't drink and drive! ^__^

**

by name;
**

"Now, DASHER! now, DANCER! now, PRANCER and VIXEN!

Duo: Hmm…..vixen….
Everyone: NO BAKA HENTAI!!!! 
****

On, COMET! on CUPID! on, DONDER and BLITZEN!

Quatre: What about Rudolph?

Wufei: Baka. Rudolph isn't a real reindeer.

Quatre: *lower lip trembles* Boooooooooooooooooooh ;_;

Cherry Blossom: *whaps Wufei in the back of the head*

Wufei: Itai!

Cherry Blossom: It's okay Quatre. Wufei is wrong. Rudlph is a real reinderr, he just……..joined the group after this poem was made.

Quatre: *brightens* Oh.

****

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

Heero: Right. *gets up to leave*

Cherry Blossom: and what do you think _you're_ doing?

Heero: I'm dashing away.

Cherry Blossom: Sit. Down.

Heero: Smeg.

****

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky,

Trowa: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: You know, I've always wondered about that part of the poem. I mean, why stick that in like that? It doesn't make any sense. 

****

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

Duo: Who cares about St.Nicholas? I just want the toys.

Wufei: Greedy.

Duo: : P

****

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

Quatre: And then the crash as the reindeer fell through the roof, crushing me to death, the end.
Cherry Blossom: What's gotten into you Quatre? You're not usually this dark.

Duo: It's gotta be the eggnog.

****

As I drew in my hand, and was turning around,

Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

Wufei: Breaking and entering is a criminal offence.

Trowa: But he didn't break anything.

Wufei: Okay…just entering then.

****

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

Cherry Blossom: Animal rights activists aren't going to be happy about that.

****

And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;

Trowa: *as Santa* You're getting my dry-cleaning bill. 

****

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! 

Heero: Drugs!

****

his dimples how merry!

His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

Duo: Maaaaaan, that is one weird looking guy. 
****

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;

Quatre: Smoking is bad for you.
Wufei: These riffs are weak.
Cherry Blossom: I know…but this really isn't a crappy poem. I just wanted something seasonal. 
****

He had a broad face and a little round belly,

That shook, when he laughed like a bowlful of jelly.

Duo: Santa's had a little too much pocky.

Trowa: Jenny Craig!

**

He was chubby and plump,
** Wufei: I think that was established by the whole jello-belly thing.
**a right jolly old elf,
**

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

Duo: Huh?

Cherry Blossom: Exactly.

****

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

Duo: Hey Wu-man! I didn't know you were in this poem! 
Wufei: KISAMA! *tries to strangle Duo with his braid*
Cherry Blossom: Guys! Peace on Earth, goodwill to man!
Trowa: Whatever. 
****

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!"

Trowa: Why "Happy Christmas"? Why not "Merry Christmas"?

Heero: Who knows.

Quatre: Is that the end?

Cherry Blossom: Yep.

Duo: All right! Time to PARTY!

doorbell rings

Cherry Blossom: I wonder who that could be? *opens door*

Dorothy: Hello!

Quatre: Aaargh! What is SHE doing here?

Dorothy: *in creepy demented voice* Quatre Raberba Winner.

Cherry Blossom: I invited her. She has a song to sing for us.

Trowa: Sing?

Wufei: Nataku save us!

Dorothy: Shall I start now, Miss Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: Sure.

Dorothy: *clears throat and sings to the tune of Angels We Have Heard On High* 

Gundam we have seen on high,

Flying quickly o'er the flames

As the OZ troops in reply

Echo in their screams of pain,

Glo-ooo-ooo-ooo-rious

War is so beautiful

Glo-ooo-ooo-ooo-rious

War is so beautifuuuuuuuul!!!

Everyone: *sweatdrops*

Cherry Blossom: Uh…thanks Dorothy. That was very…

Duo: Weird.

Cherry Blossom: Have some eggnog.

Dorothy: Don't mind if I do.

doorbell rings again

Cherry Blossom: Smeg. Who is it now? *opens door*

camera zooms in on two groups of carolers who are presently glaring at eachother

Cherry Blossom: Uh…hello?

Caroler from group #1: *smiles at Cherry* Hi! I'm Cindy of the Anti-Relena Club. We're out doing some caroling to raise enough money to hire a professional assassin to kill her off.

Caroler from Group #2: I'm Brittany from the We Love Relena Club and _we're _caroling to raise enough money to build her a shrine.

Cindy: Get lost! We were her first!

Brittany: No you get lost!

Cherry Blossom: Uh…why don't you BOTH sing a carol for us.

Cindy: Okaaaaaaay……. *music from Hallelujah chorus plays*

Group #1: *sings*

KILL RELENA!

KILL RELENA!

KILL RELENA! KILL RELENA!! KILL REEELEEEEENAAAAAAA!!!!

KILL RELENA!!

KILL RELENA!!

KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!! KILL REEELEEENAAAAAA!!!!

Group #2: NO fair! *sings*

RELENA IS THE COOLEST PRINCESS

Group #1:

KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!!

Group #2:

ALL YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST JEALOUS

Group #1: 

KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!!

Group #2:

AND SHE WILL REIGN FOR EVER AND EVER

Group #1:

KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!! KILL RELENA!!

both choirs get into a fist fight. The G-Boyz and Cherry all watch with interest

Trowa: Fascinating.

Duo: I'm betting the Anit-Relena's will win.

Quatre: I'll take that bet.

Heero: Hn…

Cherry Blossom: Uh…I'm going to go inside and cook the turkey, kay?

Everybody Else: *watching the fight with dazed looks in their faces* Uh huh.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah. Well….I guess that concludes this week's episode. Merry Christmas everyone! ^__^


	8. Crappy Poem Theater 8

Crappy Poem Theater

Absolutely nooooooooo music is playing whatsoever because Heero shot our kazoo guy. Boooooooooh ;_; Cherry Blossom and the G-Boyz are still at Cherry Blossom's house, passed out on the floor. 

Cherry Blossom: *wakes* Ow….my head.

Matteo: Told you not to drink the punch Duo made.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up.

Heero: *in his sleep* Omeo o korosuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…….

Wufei: *uses Duo's braid as a pillow*

Duo: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz……..

Quatre: *curled up against Trowa with a noisemaker still in his hand*

Cherry Blossom: *sigh* This is the New Years episode that should have gone up last night. But SOMEBODY (Duo) spiked the punch and I forgot to post this.

Matteo: Actually you passed out before you got a chance to post this.

Cherry Blossom: Didn't I tell you to shut up?

Matteo: …….

Cherry Blossom: *groan* My head…..so instead of thinking up a whole new show, I'm just gonna make this a giant flashback. Pretend it's New Years Eve all over again. Yippie.

Flash back…..elaborate wazy line thingies obscure the screen letting you know that this is a flashback

Crappy Poem Theater

Weak imitation of Auld Lang Syne being played on the kazoo is heard in the back ground. Camera zooms in on Cherry Blossom who is sitting on an ugly pink and blue couch, smoking a pipe and reading a book. The floor is covered in balloons and streamers hang down from the ceiling.

Cherry Blossom: Hello minna! Welcome back to our 8th episode of CPT. Yay!

Heero: *wades through the balloons* What's with the decorations?

Cherry Blossom: It's New Years Eve! We're gonna have a party! Whoo hooo!

Duo: *perks up* Party?

Cherry Blossom: Yep. To celebrate the dawning of a whole new year of crappy poetry.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: I'm so glad I got those ear-muffs. The match my dress, too! Let's go to our favorite part of the show.

Trowa: Wait a minute. What makes you think that that's our favorite part of the show?

Cherry Blossom: Well you aren't doing poems then, are you?

Trowa: Good point…..

Cherry Blossom: Let's get to it. 

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Matteo: *pales* I have to read all this?

Cherry Blossom: Don't panic. I'll give you a break when we're halfway through.

Wufei: I can't believe that so many people like this baka program. 

Heero: No kidding.

Duo: I like it. We get pocky and treats and other stuff. And we're gonna have a party tonight! 

Trowa: Doesn't diminish the fact that we still have to sit through some bad poetry.

Quatre: Cheer up. At least we haven't been chibified…..yet.

Cherry Blossom: Enough of this jabber.

Heero: Jabber?

Cherry Blossom: Read, Teo-chan.

Matteo: *clear throat* Kai writes,

So lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be Duo's...oh my. I know I always pick on you Duo-chan but I can't help it. I wuv you! Cherry Blossom, this was great as usual. 

Duo: I guess it's okay. As long as you love me.

really annoying BackStreetBoys song starts to play…on the kazoo of course

Wufei: Oh no….

Quatre: Make it stop!

Duo: *starts to sing* Although loneliness has always been a friend of miiiiiiine….

Cherry Blossom: No no! Duo stop!

Duo: I can't! It's the music. Must….sing…..can't…hold back……*sings* I'm leaving my life in your haaaaands!

Quatre: Aaaaaaaaah!

Trowa: *covers Quatre's ears with his hands* Cherry! Can't you do something?

Cherry Blossom: *adjusts her earmuffs* Sorry. He's in the kazoo player's union.

Duo: *sings* People say I'm crazy and that I am bliiiiiind……

Wufei: *writhes on the floor in pain* INJUUUUUUUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!!!

Heero: *pulls gun out of spandex space and shoots the kazoo player* Omeo o korosu!

Kazoo guy who just so happens to be named Bob: Urgh! *dies*

Duo: *stops singing and looks gratefully at Heero* Thanks pal. 

Heero: Hn.

Cherry Blossom: Hey! Where'd you get that gun? I thought I took all the weapons away from you.

Heero: You missed one.

Cherry Blossom: Not now. *zaps gun away* 

Heero: Smeg.

Quatre: Can we get back to Reviewer's Corner now? 

Cherry Blossom: Sure. Matteo! Read.

Matteo: Treize and co. write,

(Treize): Again, quite entertaining, miss Cherry *smells rose, gives it to her*. 

Cherry Blossom: *sniffs the rose, sighs, then pins it in her hair* How come y'all can't be romantic like Trieze here?

Duo: I can be romantic. I got you some flowers too. See? *hold out some raggy dandylions*

Cherry Blossom: Er….thanks Duo. That's so…..sweet of you. *takes weeds*

Duo: *beams* Cherry likes me best.

Wufei: *snorts*

Heero: Hn.

Quatre: *pouts* I'm the one rebuilding the theater for her.

Cherry Blossom: And I thank you so much Q-chan! *glomps him*

Quatre: Urgh….

Trowa: Cherry…the letter…

Cherry Blossom: Oh right. Sorry. *lets go of Quatre* Read on, Teo-chan!

Matteo: 

I would enjoy greatly partaking in one of these events. Perhaps for this one, or the next one, myself, Zechs, Noin, and dear Lady Une could join the Gundam pilots--and Fei-sama--in mocking these heinous poems? (Lady Une, Zechs, Noin): O.o... However, this one was very good, a classic poem. It was a pleasant correlation to the holiday season, however. So, please consider my offer, and have a very happy holiday!

Cherry Blossom: You mean sexy Zechsy would come? Hmm….have to think about that. Of course you're all invited to the New Years party after the poems. Quatre brought the non-alcoholic champagne!

Duo: And I have some punch!

Everybody: *glares at Duo*

Duo: Uh….also non-alcoholic….*crosses fingers behind his back*

Cherry Blossom: Oh. Well that's okay then. Bring on the punch!

Matteo: Mistress of Death writes,

ROFTLMAO!!! I love this, especially the Christmas presents in the Reviewer's Corner. *glares at Cherry Blossom* You should have let Heero keep the beam cannon! ~__^ Now I must post this on my site. *happily scampers away*

Heero: Yeah. You should have let me keep the beam cannon.

Cherry Blossom: If I'd have left you the beam cannon you would've blown up my house. And I just got it decorated to my liking.

Quatre: Then what's with the ugly pink and blue chairs?

Cherry Blossom: That's my grandmother's stuff. She…doesn't keep up with the times. My room is much more tasteful.

Trowa: Suuuuuuure.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up, Clown-boy.

Duo: Whoa. That's gotta be a first. Someone just told Trowa to shut up!

Cherry Blossom: Anyway, Mistress, can you send me a link to your site? I can't seem to get there from the link in your bio. My computer's always screwed up.

Matteo: Quaxo The Dark writes,

I just read through all of your Crappy Poem Theatre's. You killed me. I litterally fell over and died laughing. *Points to a spot on the ground beside her* @_@ *Flops herself down on the spot just pointed to and twitches* I absolutely Love your sense of humour! :) I think I have some crappy poems somewhere around here, if I find 'em, I'll mail 'em to ya! *Wonders if I can do that since I died laughing* *Cackles madly* *Smiles, nods, backs away slowly* :) :)

G-Boyz: O.o

Heero: Oooookay….

Wufei: No…..more…..POEMS!!! 

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

Hwoarang:*whispering* Warning, SnK is tired, and has a bunch of e-mails, reviews, and fics to write. So she ain't gonna make that much sense.... Also, she's been getting into the habit of turning people to annoy her too much (which is easy, in this irritable mood of hers) into pink Zelda:LTP bunnies, because she's just that demented! 

Cherry Blossom: Oooooooh bunnies! Can you make one for me, Kaze-chan? Out of…hmmm…..who's really annoying at the moment?

G-Boyz: *back away looking innocent*

Cherry Blossom: Oh I know! That salesman from Chaxie's Windows and Doors. He keeps bothering me when I'm trying to write. I mean, how many times to I have to tell him that I DON'T WANT NEW WINDOWS!!!!

Matteo:

SnK:*Is too busy laughing to get angry with Hwoarang* Hwoarang: Oro..?*looks confused* SnK:Heeheehee... That was great! It's past Christmas, but still good ^_^ Umm... yea.. I gotta go work on actually writing an interesting chapter for my fic... oh yea, before I forget! *glances over at her little minons, Kilik and Hwoarang, and gives a nod. Then they both come running at they G-boys, Cherry, and Matteo and using their magickal namco fighter speed, shove noise makers in their hands, kazoos in their mouths, and place ridiculous party hats on their heads (Wufei's is covered in sequins and says in big gold #'s "2001", and Heero gets a tiara) Then they lob confetti at the group, SnK snaps a picture , and they run away screaming "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!" and Kilik then plays "Auld Lang Syne" on the kazoo, the trip only leaving 3 bottles of champagne in their wake, only one of which is full...*

G-Boyz: O.o

Duo: NOISE MAKER!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! *runs amuck with the noisemaker*

Quatre: Y'know…I've always wanted a kazoo….

Heero: Someone get this off my head. NOW.

Cherry Blossom: *hiding snickers* Sorry Hee-chan. Looks like it's stuck on tight.

Trowa: *discreetly picks up full champagne bottle and hides it in his….uh…..turtleneck?* 

Wufei: *spits confetti out of his mouth* I hate holidays.

Cherry Blossom: Oh no you don't. 

Matteo: Caro-chan writes,

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay for Christmas! Great, as usual, Cherry-sama! Thanks for the plushie, it's so positively kawaii! (hugs her toy) Yes, I am from the Land of Cheese, and I'm PROUD of that! Yay for cheese!!! 

Cherry Blossom: Yes! Cheese! I have a platter guys. *shows expensive looking cheese and cracker platter***** Help yourselves.

G-Boyz: *fall on the platter and start stuffing their faces*

Matteo:

Also, I bet that Clement guy said "Happy Christmas" cuz saying "Merry Christmas" all the time gets really boring. (At least for me, anyway ^_^) Oh, here's a treat for you guys! (Thunks down a huge bowl of Puppy Chow) It's Crispix cereal coated in chocolate-peanut butter and powdered sugar! It's the best stuff in the world! (Crams half a pound into her mouth at once) Happy Christmas everyone, and keep on writing kick-@$$ fics, Cherry-sama! (Bows to Cherry, waves at Dilly, glomps Duo, and winks at Heero before disappearing in a poof of green smoke)

Duo: *takes the bowl of puppy chow and hides it*

Wufei: Hey, I saw that Maxwell! Share!

Duo: *looks innocent* Share what?

Matteo: Corra Mereel & Baka Girl writes, 

BG: . . . Well that was ... interesting ... but hey guys I think you should just kill Cherry before she zaps your weapons away. 

Cherry Blossom: Ha! I like to see them try. I'm the Eternal Goddess Cherry Blossom. I cannot be killed by mortal means. Besides, I have supreme authoress power. And a kick @ss big stick. See? *brandishes big stick*

Matteo:

Duo, you should quit blushing and strangle people when they make fun of you!!! And Quatre, don't feel bad, your eyes are the kawaiiest of all of 'em!! CM: I agree with that, everyone should love Quatre!! And Duo, can't forget Duo. Anyway, keep up the good work Cherry!!! P.S. (from Baka Girl) Die Wu-man, you sexist pig!

Wufei: Hhmph.

Duo: He's not sexist! He's just got a warped sense of justice.

Wufei: WARPED!?

Duo: Ahehehe…*runs away*

Matteo: TrowasGirl writes,

It was great being on the show Cherry! Although 'Twas the Night Before Christmas or Account of a Visit from St. Nicholas' wasn't that crappy, but it did have...how shall I put this...crappy moments. My friends and I made up a version 'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house all the pilots were snoring 'cause Heero killed the damn mouse.' See Heero is just so damn useful with a gun, but I have to agree with you, no weapons near any of the guys during the show or that's the end of CPT. *Walks over to Matteo* Aren't you happy I got Cherry to give you a break? And if you ever need another one just ask me! *Smiles sweetly and kisses Matteo on the nose* 

(Matteo: *blushes*)

Kawaii! *Catches jealous looks from Trowa and walks over to him* Aww...Again you had to endure another crappy poem, my poor Tro-kun. *Leans down and whispers something in Trowa's ear that makes him turn crimson red, well he smiles wickedly* Trowa: 8 pm, right? *Nods* K I gotta go now! *Duo looks at Trowa Curiously, as do the rest of the pilots*

Duo: So….Tro-chan…..anything you wanna tell us?

Trowa: ……..

Matteo: Er…. Sage, Mistress of Magic writes,

Heh heh, that was funny. Hey Cherry, could I read the rest of the reviews for you? Please?????? To tell you the truth, I love Trowa's butt better than the others... :p Well, gotta go! *grabs Trowa and kisses him for a long period of time* 

Heero: *looks at watch* How long is this gonna take?

Wufei: *snorts* Get a room, hentais.

Matteo: 

I always wanted to do that! Oh yeah, here *hands everyone 10 boxes of Pocky*, hope you like it, let's just say that it's a late Christmas present! P.S. Cherry Blossom, you didn't take the gun I gave Heero away, so you might want to watch out for him... ^_~ 

Cherry Blossom: So that was _your _gun! Well you should have warned me before he shot the kazoo guy…although it wasn't really a loss. But now I have to hire someone else. Maybe an accordian player this time…….

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Everybody Polkamon ^__^

Matteo: Trowas Girl writes,

Wufei: Hey wait! She reviewed already.

Heero: How can people keep doing that?

Trowa: Easy. You just don't sign in.

crashing noises

Quatre: What was that?

Cherry Blossom: Oh nothing. *sweeps up pieces of the fourth wall*

Matteo: 

*Looks pissed off* Grrrr…*Zaps Sage, Mistress of Magic here* He's mine! Sage: Who?!?! *Looks really pissed off now* Trowa! You kissed him! He's mine! *Looks at Sage and growls* 

Trowa: Uh….*tries to sink into the floor*

Duo: How'd you guys get in here?

Wufei: Cherry's fault. Her zappers on the fritz.

Cherry: It is not! 

Wufei: Suuuuuuuuuure.

Trowa: *being pulled on both sides by Sage and TrowasGirl* Urg…..Cherry! Heeeeeeeeelp!

Cherry Blossom: Ok guys that's enough. No fighting. Do this after the show…or how 'bout you stop it all together! 

TrowasGirl: *Calms down* Fine! But he is MINE! *Realizes Trowa didn't try to stop the kiss earlier* Oi! Trowa forget about the date later! *drops Trowa's arm* Yo Matteo doing anything at 8?

Trowa: *facevaults*

Matteo: *snickers* That's what ya get for playing the field, Tro-man.

Trowa: *glares at Matteo*

Matteo: Sooooo, what did you have in mind? We could go out or—

Cherry Blossom: Oh no you don't. You're supposed to be helping me with the next chapter of Someone Else's Star at eight. You're not going anywhere tonight!

Matteo: *pouts*

TrowasGirl: *pouts*

Cherry Blossom: *glares* The next letter, please.

Matteo: Sage, Mistress of Magic—

Wufei: What is this? A message board?

Duo: This whole numerous reviewing thing has got to stop.

Matteo: Writes,

Yep, I'm reviewing for the third time already... Gotta tell TrowasGirl something, and plus, it's fun torturing you guys. This first message is for TrowasGirl: Fine! If you want him that bad, then you can have him, but I still like him! But take care of him! I like Quatre too, his too cute for words. Hee hee! :p 

Quatre: *blinks his big kawaii eyes* I am?

Millions of Fangirls who came outta nowhere: AWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!! *glomp Quatre*

Quatre: Ack! I'm being squished!

Duo: Where did they come from?

Wufei: Told you her zapper was broken.

Cherry Blossom: It is not! I…meant to do this.

Heero: Sure you did.

Quatre: Can't….breathe……..help…….

Trowa: Do something, Cherry!

Cherry Blossom: Uh…..*uses her zapping finger to change Heero's hair colour to a light blue, turn her mother's prize geranium into a camel, transport Dilly into the room, and finally, get rid of all the fangirls*

Quatre: *gasps for breath*

Heero: MY HAIR!!

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!

Camel: *chews on the end of Duo's braid*

Duo: Hey!

Cherry Blossom: Ahehe…..

Matteo: *ignoring all this beautifully*

Now, this one is for the guys and Cherry: Hi! You probably took Heero's gun away, so I'll give him a laptop computer and a gun. I'll make it a grenade launcher or somethin'. 

Heero: *too distraught to pick up the gun* MY HAIR!!

Cherry Blossom: Oh don't be such a baby. I think it looks better that way.

Duo: Could you do something about the camel?

Wufei: This is the stupidest thing I have ever seen.

Trowa: You're telling me.

Quatre: I like the camel. Can I keep him, Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: Huh? Oh, sure Q-chan.

Quatre: Alright! I'll name him Steve!

Matteo:

Plus, I got candy a cookies for all of you! *hands them all many boxes of candy and cookies, and also hands some to TrowasGirl for a sorry gift* And I also noticed I reviewed again about right under my other one, sorry 'bout that. Hey Cherry, Canada's the coolest!!!!! It's better than the USA, and mind you, I live in the USA. Gotta go and plan how to torture the guys! Sayonara! ^_~ 

Cherry Blossom: CANADA—

Duo: Not now. Heero's crying.

Cherry Blossom: *sigh* Heero…

Heero: *sniffle* M-my hair… *weep*

Cherry Blossom: Don't cry. I'll change it back. *after zapping up an elephant and then zapping it back, changing the ugly pink and blue couch into an ugly purple and orange couch and making it snow in Africa, Cherry zaps Heero's hair back to its normal colour*

Heero: *sniff* Thank you.

Matteo: *still ignoring everything* Trowas Girl writes,

Duo: Y'know…If this involves another zapping fiasco I'm gonna kill something.

Wufei: How? You're gonna talk them to death?

Duo: Keep pushin' Wu-man…..

Matteo:

Sage, I accept your apology, but I'm not really mad at you I'm mad at him! *Points at Trowa* 

Trowa: *eeps and cowers behind the couch*

Matteo:

and your right Quatre is cute! *Hands Sage a few pocky* So Matteo wanna go see a movie?

Cherry Blossom: Call him when he's not working.

Matteo: But Cherry, I'm always working.

Cherry Blossom: Exactly. 

Quatre: You're mean, Cherry.

Cherry Blossom: He's my muse. I can torture him however I want.

Matteo: *sighs* Kaori, Kizuchi,and Onna Deathsythe (cameo appearance by Kaori's dog Floyd) write,

Kaori: What WAS in that eggnog? Onna Deathsythe and Kizuchi: Jamaican Rum. Kaori: Figures. Anyway the other girls and I wanted to wish you all a Happy New Year! Kizuchi: We brought pocky for everyone!! (Floyd enters wearing a custom made collar with all the Gundams stitched into it and pulling three wagons full of pocky.) Onna Deathsythe: Cherry Blossom-sama gets an international cheese basket! Kaori: And all the pilots get kisses from P-chan's gorgeous cousin Linda. Kizuchi, Kaori, and Onna Deathsythe: Heero, Duo, Matteo WE LOVE YOU!!! BTW: P-Chan was sent to the Happy Hentai Club (don't ask) by his brother so he couln't join us.

Cherry Blossom: Well tell him I said hello…and…..CHEESE!! Buahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

Duo: Linda….

Matteo: Uh…Silverfox writes,

Cool Cherry! But I want more Dilly-samma! ( Oh and Zech's butt is the cutest)

Cherry Blossom: Finally! Someone who agrees with me. Come over sometime Silverfox and I'll show you my collection of exclusive Zechy photos. Almost 50% of them are butt shots!!

Wufei: *pales* Too much information!!

Dilly: *looks confused* Burn?

Cherry Blossom: Not yet. Wait till my credit card bill comes. Then you can burn.

Dilly: ^__^

Matteo: Tsuki Yuuki writes,

Both: WE LOVE CANADA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bara: we're Canadian, eh. Tsuki: no, no, no, thats the Newfies. Bara: I KNEW THAT!!!! Tsuki: su~ure ya did. NEways, another hilarious MST by Cherry-sama and the G-Boyz. I found the poems that i'm gonna send you. Bara: *playing with her Caddyshack Gopher* hee hee hee!!!!!!! swing those hips, Gopher!!!! Tsuki:*getting annoyed by dumb @$$ annoying music* turn that thing off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *tries to take Gopher from Bara* Bara:*growls* grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...*continues growling while Tsuki reviews* Tsuki: well, i love these things, so keep up the good work!!!!!!!! Bara:*starts singing Caddyshack song* I'm alright! Tsuki:*hits Bara over the head with butt of flamethrower* SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Bara: X_X Tsuki: VICTORY!!!!!!!!!! *holds up fingers in "V" for Victory* eh heh, heh, heh... bye now!!!!!!!!!! ///^_\\Bara: X_X

G-Boyz: O.o

Cherry Blossom: CANADA! CADDYSHACK!! GOPHERS!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Matteo: I'm gonna just move on now…Sage, Mistress of Magic writes,

Heero: Ah smeg, not AGAIN.

Quatre: Absolute madness.

Matteo:

Ha! I'm reviewing again just to torture you guys! That's what you get for calling me a weak onna Wufei!:p And plus, if it wasn't for us onnas, you wouldn't get compliments on how cute your butt is! Cuz I know that no guy would say that you have a cute butt.:p 

Duo: Oh I dunno about that……have you seen Trieze-not-the-hamster's reviews yet?

Wufei: *mumbles something unintelligible* 

Duo: What was that, Wu-man.

Wufei: Kisama!

Matteo: 

Please continue the series Cherry, cuz it's the best!

Cherry Blossom: Yes! We're the best! We should get an award or something….or at least more funding. Send us money guys!! I need a new kazoo player!

Matteo: ShiniMegami Aka Heero`s Sister The Goddess Of Death! writes,

Duo: Hey Heero, I didn't know you had a sister.

Heero: I don't.

Duo: Then why—

Heero: I DON'T.

Duo: Sheesh, don't get your spandex in a twist, I was only askin'.

Matteo:

FEAR ME !!!!!!! I went to Canada ONCE its not fair!!!!!!!!!! *sings her Eiffle 65 song "Blue"* oh um sorry CANUCKS ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: CANA—*is pounced on by the pilots before she can start her rant*

Trowa: No more Canada stuff. 

Matteo:

*eyes glisten with tears as she thinks of Canada then gets an evil hentai look* heeeey Cherry-Pop guess what im thinking right now ehehehe Im thinking of Wufei me and a big vat of whipped cream 

G-Boyz: O.o

Wufei: Erm…

Quatre: Too much information!!

Matteo:

GUESS WHAT I HAVE AN ONLINE BOYFRIEND NAMED TROWA_BARTON1 COWINKYDINK EHH?????? 

G-Boyz: *turn to look at Trowa*

Trowa: It's not me. I swear.

Matteo:

love you Heero, Duo-kun *thinks of all the stuff she could do to him too* 

Heero and Duo: *swallow hard and look at eachother*

Matteo:

Tro-kun *sighs dreamily* i love you too. Quatre don't feel left out my little lost angel in a world of death. And my sweet faced little Chinese Avatar of Justice *pity me I'm obsessed 'sigh'* I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU PLLLLLEEEEEASE DONT CALL ME ONNA just call me Reiko Jasmiin Jermaine Yuy 

Wufei: Uh….

Matteo:

*surprised hehe huggles her older bro Heero* i wuv you *gives him a look of pure innocence better than Q-kuns puppy dog eyes and makes Heero melt like putty* 

Heero: Aw. You stay away from my sister Chang.

Wufei: I thought you said that she wasn't your sis…..*voice fades away as Heero give him a deathglare*

Matteo:

*smirks* BYE BYE CHERRY-SAMA did you get my last email???? please email soon! Love Reiko aka Ashley*my real real name* aka AmyyFlameDragon aka Sad--AlmostDead*recent name* 

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry, I got your e-mail.

Matteo: Desperate Angel writes,

*collapses on the floor* Never, ever tell your mother that you'll get the Christmas dinner this year..or, if you do, make it pizza from the carton and beer from the can. Really. It'll save a thousand headaches. 

Cherry Blossom: My grandma cooked our dinner. She got up at 3 in the morning to put in the turkey.

G-Boyz: O.o

Cherry Blossom: She takes Christmas diner reeeeaaaaaaly seriously.

Heero: No kidding.

Matteo:

*Sei-chan poofs in, offers Nilla to the collapsed Des who then munches a bit of Nilla* Anyway, it's about time someone misted that classic Christmas poem. Maybe 12 Days next time, ne? I mean, that has to be the most annoying carol ever written. Well, next to "Go Tell it on the Mountain" Anyway, I still don't know why everyone's going on about best posterior. I mean, the eyes are always the best. (Though, just for the record, Quatre has the best ass of the group...though he'd never show it. Unless you buy the 2001 Chip'n'Dales Beefcake calander. Check under Septmeber! *Winks*) 

Everyone: *turns to stare at Quatre who goes beat red*

Quatre: ahehe…….*runs and hides under the bed*

Cherry Blossom: That's it. *calls up e-bay to buy the calender*

Matteo: 

I'm not sure if Nilla's available in Canada (Unfortunately, I've never asked my Canuk friend about it. Maybe cos he's always calling me a beaver *sigh*) but I do know that we have Nutter Butters here *grins and 'magically' produces a box. Hands out to everyone* 

Duo: NUTTER BUTTER!!!!!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: *munches on nutter butters while flipping through the calendar pages* Wow….

Matteo: 

Well, s'about it. I must go kill that small fuzzy thing living in my closet. Bye everyone! *hugs Heero and, in doing, slips him a Multi-Dimensional Hammer. Grins at Cherry* It's just so that he can hammer a nail, really. So you can let him have it. It's not like he could use it to knock you out cold and escape or anything. No way. 

Cherry Blossom: *eyes glued to the calendar* Eh, keep it. I don't care.

Heero: *maniacal grin* Hehehe…

Matteo: Sebien writes,

First of all I would like to say that Cherry, YOU ROCK!!! And that yes dougnuts are a potential weapon. Anyway here's some cheese for you Merry Christmas!!(Reaches into her bag agin)For Matteo a ticket to the bahamas, you deserve it! 

Matteo: Alright! I'm going to the beach!! Whoo hoo!

Cherry Blossom: Not without me you aren't. 

Matteo:

For Quatre: a violin to ease the pain

Quatre: *comes out from under the bed to see*

Matteo:

(Gives Quatre-chan a kiss on the cheek and a hug) you don't need a cute butt when you're such a sweetie! For the other G-pilots:MANGA!(the perfect christmas present!). Take you pick boys,any one you want! Feliz Navidad!! (starts siging the song in spanish on her way out) 

Cherry Blossom: *sings* Feliz navidad y prospero ano. Felicidad!

Duo: *sings* I wanna weeeeeesh you a merry Christmas! I wanna weeeeeesh you a merry Christmas!

Wufei: Shoot me….

Heero: *whaps Duo with hammer*

Duo: Itai!

Matteo:

Oh and gomen for not reviewing last time EVIL REASECH PAPERS got in my way (I swear they are just as evil as the color pink!), BYE!!

Cherry Blossom: Byeeee!

Matteo: Sailor Ariel writes,

Cherry Blossom: Ariel-chan!

Matteo:

Very good...Hey,wait a minute!Duo singing the almond joy song is mine!*thwaps Cherry*Bad girl!

Cherry Blossom: *cringes* Sorry.

Matteo:

Anyway, it was hilarious as usual. Personally, I've always been curious as to which finger Santa puts beside his nose...

Duo: Yeah! I—

Heero: *threatens with hammer*

Duo: I'm gonna shut up now.

Heero: *grins*

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes,

Sigh.... If I sew my flag on my backpack, I get lasers pointed at me... And i'm from new York, so I KNOW i'm gonna get shot at. Smeg. Hey, if you need anyone to help the GW boys with MSTing, Just pop me in with the Trans-dimentional-international transport. I'm not claiming ANYTHING at your stupid border. Damnit, you fools took away my BEANIE BABIES a few years ago! I will NEVER forgive you for seizing my Spottie! WHAAA!!! ::cries:: WHAAA! SPOTTIE'S GOOOONNEEE!!! So's Foxy, Doxy, and Shep! And about six others! DARN YOU, BEANIE BABY EMBARGO! ((Now you know why I dont totaly respect Canadia very much...))

Cherry Blossom: Aw. Poor Clecky. Must have been some time after that guy smuggled all that cocaine across the border in beany babies.

Matteo:

Uh... anyway... Where was I? Oh yeah. I am availible to come in at any time to poke fun at all things poetic, and anoy the doit out of the Boys. Wont ya'll like that? ::snuggles a plushie Zechs 'n Noin:: I love Zechs! And Noin! They can ride in my (.guitar.strumming.) WINNABAGO!! -Cleckmoon! Lordess of the Jackalopes, anoyer of many people, buyer of GW stuff, singer of songs, writers of stories, cause of insanity, and the holy sayer of Doit, Smeg, EYAHGHHHH!!, and Oooogh. 

Wufei: Doit?

Heero: Smeg.

Duo: EYAHGHHHH!!

Quatre: Ooooogh?

Trowa: Ni.

Everyone else: O.o

Trowa: What?

Matteo: Dark Heart writes,

*blinks* I don't think I'll ever look at that poem the same again... You know, my seat-partner in art counted how many licks it took to get to the middle of a Blow-pop. It took him 375. Just as funny as always, and on the topic of asses again HEERO HAS THE HOTTEST ASS! 

Heero: *smirks*

Trowa: Are we back to the cutest @ss squabble?

Cherry Blossom: SEXY ZECHY HAS THE HOTTEST ASS!! I HAVE PROOF!!

Matteo:

I'm starting to feel sorry for Matteo... *offers Matteo a Cherry Coke* Does that help? 

(Matteo: *drinks down whole bottle in one gulp*)

Cherry Blossom: O.o;;;

Matteo:

Now get the other part out soon!

Wufei: This is soon enough. I have a life you know.

Duo: Really?

Wufei: *glare*

Matteo: Toucan writes,

OH NO!!! I DIDN'T KNOW THE NEXT EPISODE WOULD BE THE CHRISTMAS SPECIAL!!!!! ::cries:: Oh, well. Just take the damn books. ::gives each one a book entitled: 101 Ways to Annoy Cherry Blossom:: Merry Chri-uh, Happy Holidays. Jaa!

Duo: *reading book* Hehehe….

Cherry Blossom: I have a feeling that I'm gonna end up cursing your name, Toucan.

Matteo: Little green writes,

Marijuana and gin tonic... For Hanukkah?? OMG!!! Wheeehh!! Treize sez it's a big shame! Anyway... Sorry to alway review late but, well, I wish I could be more online and less at school! ^_^; Sooo... here again, that theatre was cruel, the pocky were there, and the Gboyz suffered a lot. THAT'S PERFECT!! Also, we all appreciated Heero's ability to spot a Santa who is high on drugs immediatly... Hehehee!! 

Heero: Jolly Old Saint Nick was a little too jolly if you ask me.

Trowa: We didn't.

Heero: *deathglare*

Matteo:

For the presents, I DO not agree... You shouldn't even have given Heero any present becuz' he's a mean guy and... Moleman : Shut up! I like him! He's violent! LG :op You're fired!! Mlmn : You can't!! Lg: Treeeeiiiiize daaaarllling!!!! Mlmn: Okay... I suppose I don't ask for my wages LG : No. Sooo... More Crapppy!!! Wuv' ya CherryB, Wuv' ya Matteo!!

Cherry Blossom: Hope you're coming to the party green-chan! You too Trieze and Moleman! I have party hats for everyone. 

Matteo: White Blaze Wannabe writes,

blah...forgot to sign in...Anyway, another great job. Keep it up! And Heero...maybe those drugs Santa was on are in the eggnog. That may explain a few things. Go Anit-Relena peeps! 

Duo: What's an Anit-Relena?

Cherry Blossom: It's anti-relena. So I made a typo. Sue me.

Matteo:

She and Dorothy must die for the sake of sanity on earth! Can't wait for another episode in the New Year!

Trowa: Yeah. Can't wait.

Cherry Blossom: ENTHUSIASM!

Matteo: Silva Noir writes,

poor innocent Quatre! You've twisted his mind. ::comforts poor blond boy::: luv you quatre :::hugz and hugz::: ill protect you :::bat winged coyote that is Silva Noir snarls to show her sharp teeth::: oh and i brought something for everyone. no fair you should be in a theater without buttered popcorn :::hands out little bags full to each guy::: and dont worry heero, i like you :::hugs him too::: and theres something ive always wanted to do :::runs over to Duo, unbraids his hair, brushes it out and redoes it all nice and neat putting a little black bow in the end::: gotta go now. ::waves paw bye-bye:::

Wufei: O.o;;; That was weird.

Heero: *munches popcorn* Hn.

Duo: My own personal hair stylist. I like it!

Matteo: Ginga writes,

BWAHAHAHA!!! Die Relena DIE!!!!!!!!! You should really make her listen to these poems instead of the poor widdle G-boys. Then maybe she'd die of horror. ::evil laughter:: And yes Wufei, I am an onna. ^_~

Wufei: *smug smile* I knew it.

Cherry Blossom: Hmm…I take it she's not a fan of Relena.

Trowa: What makes you say that? 

Matteo: Tyleet writes,

Tehehehehehe.... I loved it!!! Sorry that cherry took away the gun Heero :: glares at cherry:: Do you know how long it takes to get a gun in the USA? With all these baka school shootings like Columbine, gun control is just getting ridiculus!! It took me forever to find that!!! Anyway, I forgive you and I loved it!! To the Gboys, ok, this will end your who-has-the-cutest-what quarrel. Heero is the best of all of you in the butt category aaand he's the best charactor in the show *gives him a BIIIIG smile* Quatre is the cutest,(You are soooooo sweet Quatre!! Tea forever!!*gives him some tea*) Trowa has the coolest hair (what kind of gel do you use, man?) Duo.... Um..... he has a cool braid *jealous glare in Duo's direction* Zechs.... his hair is neat too! it reminds me of Sephiroth's... And Wufei.... um.... could I get back to you on that one? 

Wufei: *pouts* No you can NOT.

Cherry Blossom: Aw don't be like that Wu-man. You've got the best….er…..well _I_ like you.

Wufei: *blushes*

Matteo:

There. All solved. ^_^ Everything is peaceful, everyone is happy, everyone join hands and sing. *sings WAAAAY out of tune* All we are saying, is give peace a chance!!! *realizes she sounds like Relena* Ah!!! NOO!! SHOOT ME NOW!!! *Sees heero pointing a gun at her* KIDDING!! I will say just one more thing before I leave. Cherry, did you get the poem I sent? The Jabberwocky? That is just scary. Anyways, I love ya!!! Bye!!! till next week!!!

Cherry Blossom: Yes, yes I did. That whole book is scary. Lewis Carol is scary. And don't you forget it.

Duo: Who is she talking to?

Heero: No one knows.

Matteo: Elentari writes, 

Heero's a hentai?! Who would've guessed? 

Duo: I did.

Heero: *deathglareX200*

Duo: Eep. *hides behind Cherry*

Matteo:

Oh, and Quatre, take some of these. *hands him a bottle of prozac* You're being depressing...Santa's HIGH! What a wonderful role model for the children of today. 'But Mommy, Santa does drugs, why can't I?' Hehe. More CPT!!! 79 pages of reviews? Yikes. 

Quatre: How many pages are we up to now, Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: *checks* 57.

Trowa: Yippe.

Wufei: Big whoop.

Heero: That's "whoop". As in "whoopie".

Duo: You guys are no fun.

Heero, Trowa, and Wufei: : P

Duo: : P : P

Heero, Trowa, and Wufei: : P : P : P : P

violent : P war ensues

Matteo:

But that just shows how much we all love this, right? All my relatives think I'm insane, because I was laughing so hard..I CAN'T HELP IT! Aaaah! *Jumps into the fic to get away from her many whiny cousins* Can I stay here until they go away? Please! I won't be any bother, I promise, see? *sits down next to Quatre and gives everybody an innocent look* On with the show!

Cherry Blossom: Er….yeah. Help yourself to some cheese and nutter butters.

Elentari: Don't mind if I do.

Heero, Trowa, Wufei: : P : P : P : P : P : P

Duo: : P : P : P : P : P : P : P : P : P : P

Quatre: Can't we all just get along?

Elentari: That looks like fun. Can I try? : P

Cherry Blossom: O.o;;;

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes, 

You know, I used to like that poem, but you haven't seen my neightbors yard, have to put on sunglasses at night now *shakes head sadly to what they did* Oh well, Good good everyone and huggles to Kawaii Duo, and now, to work! *whimpers as she knows she'll be surrounded by tons of kids who throw fits* At least its an Anime store. Keep them coming Cherry, really good stuff! *hopes she'll be around to see the next part* Happy holidays and New Years!

Cherry Blossom: We hope you're around too. I want everyone to come to the New Years bash!!

Duo: : P 

Cherry Blossom: Guys, cut it out.

Duo: Sorry.

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

::eyes widen:: I DIDN'T GIVE THE GIFTS OUT YET AND THE CHIRSTMAS SPECIAL PASSED!?!?!?! I'M SOOOOO SORRY!!!::run around saying that's she sorry:: ::stops:: I should give it out now, huh? *ahem* First, ::takes out a plastic gun with a sticky dart:: Heero ::gives it to him and more extra ammo:: ::takes out a bottle of sleeping pills:: For Trowa (and Trowa's thin! He needs the pocky!! No offence, Trowa-kun) ::gives it to him:: I hope you wake up when the poem ends...::takes out two tickets to Hawaii:: For the disclaimer person, you can sell the other one if you want ::takes out a ginger bread and nutter butter made mini-house:: For Cherry, if ya don't like it then um...let Dilly burn it or something...

Dilly: *perks up* Burn? *takes out flamethrower*

Cherry Blossom: Nonononononononono!!! I like it! Don't burn it! Uh….*searches for something for Dilly to burn* here! Burn my physics homework!

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!

The physics homework fries 

Matteo:

::takes out a small remote controlled Sandrock custom toy:: For Quatre ::hands him his gift:: ::takes out some meditation candles:: This is for Wufei.::gives him his stuff:: ::takes out mini virtual reality game counsel:: For Duo. Try to not to knock down anything, k?::gives it to him:: ::takes out a fire extinguisher:: For Dilly, since you burnt down the theater. I don't want that happening again, or no more CPT. (Make more episodes,please!!!) And for Matteo...::gives him a mini-bar::(No, not because he wore those tights!!) Er...non-alcoholic stuff. Oh and when's your birthday Cherry? ::grins::

Cherry Blossom: My birthday is in September.

Heero: She's a virgo.

Duo: *opens mouth*

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!

Duo: *closes mouth*

Matteo: Nin writes,

I finally gathered the courage to review, so don't embarrass me *too* much, 'kay? 

Duo: Oh no not _too_ much…

Quatre: Be nice.

Matteo:

n_n I'm looking over "The Night Before Christmas" and thinking 'Maybe you should have someone say "And laying his finger *inside* of his nose"'. Bwahahaha!!! 

Duo: Buahahahahahahaha!!!!! 

Heero: Hn.

Wufei: O.o;;;

Trowa: …….

Quatre: O.o;;;

Cherry Blossom: O.o;;;

Matteo:

n_n I have the mind set of an elementry student. Anyway, I got some presents for everyone!!! A state-of-the-art laptop for Heero, a bigass Christmasy cake for Duo, A lion for Trowa, a reindeer for Quatre, a car (that looks surprisingly like 'Nataku') for Wufei, a lighter for Dilly (don't burn the place down agian, Dilly!! n_n)

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Matteo:

a lifetime supply of Halls and asprin for Matteo (you have to read all the reviews and poems!! You're throat must get sore!!), 

(Matteo: No kidding.)

Cherry Blossom: We'll get you some fisherman's friends.

(Mateo: No way. Have you ever tried those? Those guys are NOBODY'S friends.)

Cherry Blossom: Baby.

Matteo:

and a cheese factory for Cherry! Oh, and here's a bunch of Canadian stuff (posters, pins, ect) to decorate the theather (and G-boyz n_n). I AM CANADIAN!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: CANADA!!!!! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

Heero: Aw smeg.

Trowa: You had to say it, didn't you.

Duo: *sigh*

Cherry Blossom: *sings* From the grand banks of Alberta, where the whalefishes blow! To the wheat fields of Cape Breton in the North Ontario.

Wufei: *groan* KISAMA! Don't get her STARTED.

Matteo:

Hey, G-boyz? Weren't you all trained in combat? Do you *really* need guns??? n_n Geez, I wonder how much damage I'm resonsible for, by saying that...? I, too, know the secret of reviewing multiple times....but I am too lazy to do it right now. n_n Geez, what a long review...

Cherry Blossom: *sings* Cross the tundra of Toronto we will raise our voices high. The Rockies of Saskatchewan, the Great Lakes of P.E.I.

Duo: Y'know, Nin is right. We don't need weapons…

G-Boyz: *creep up behind Cherry Blossom*

Cherry Blossom: Ahh the Great Lakes! Superior……Inferior…….Mediocre…….and Lake Titicaca—Oof!

G-Boyz: *tackle Cherry Blossom and gag her*

Cherry Blossom: Mmmph!

Matteo: Gundamaniac writes, 

How could you NOT like my eggnog? I swear, I didn't do a THING to it!! Anyway, great episode, Cherry Blossom!! Probably my favorite episode EVER!! Thankyou thank you VERY much for the Christmas Pocky, Duo!! You're the greatest!!! Speaking of pocky, how dare you call Wufei fat!! *Eyes glow red* If he was fat, then he wouldn't look HOT in those pants!! None of the guys are fat!! Oh, and Cheery Blossom, if you love cheese, I live in California and we also have lots of cheese. Motserella, Monterey Jack, Pepperjack, Cheddar cheese....We have it all!!! Well, I'd better be going. Bye!!! P.S.:I'd like to congratulate the cool pilots of the coolest Gundams ever *coughSandrockcough* for sticking through this these crappy poems, even if you didn't have a choice. Here, have some more nonspiked eggnog. Bye!!

Quatre: Yeah. Sandrock's the coolest.

Duo: What are you talkin' about? Deathscythe is the coolest gundam ever.

Heero: You're both wrong. Wing Zero is the best gundam.

Wufei: *snorts* My Nataku could beat all your gundams into the ground, no problem.

Trowa: Oh yeah?

violent fistfight ensues

Cherry Blossom: Mmph! Mmmph mmmph!

Matteo: Hinode writes,

You do realize that you spend more time on Reviewer's Corner than you do on actual crappy poems, don't you? It's really not fair, because by doing that, you make the G-boys suffer less *evil grin*. I was just thinking as a sat stuck in AP Lit, they wouldn't last ten seconds in a high school English class. Oh, uh, maybe you should let Quatre out of here. He's the creepiest when he gets mean and upset. Nonetheless, fix your computer so you can torture--uh, I mean EDUCATE--the G_boys again.

Cherry Blossom: Mmmph mmmph. *big chibi eyes that just SCREAM release me*

Matteo: I'm gonna regret this….*un-gags Cherry*

Cherry Blossom: EPYON IS THE BEST GUNDAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

G-Boyz: O.o

Cherry Blossom: Just had to get that out.

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes,

[pouts] THERE MUST BE HANNUKAH POEM OUT THERE SOMEWHERES! [looks at all the christian peeps] Have a crappy christmas. :p 

Christian people: We forgive you. : P

Duo: Aren't you Christian, Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: I thought I told you this before. I'm ancient druid. Don't make me sacrifice a goat on y'all.

Matteo:

At least I got my song. "Put on your yalmulka, it's time for Hannukah!" Oh well, I'm going to a big hannukah party on the twenty-third anyway, I'll get my fill of Hewbrew junk 'n' stuff there. ^_^ You've outdone yourself again, Cherry. Oh yeah, and I have forgot to give you all ... [pulls out a REALLY bigass candy cane] THIS! [hands it to Cherry]

Cherry Blossom: CANDY CANE!!! Buahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Matteo:

Don't worry G-boyz, I got sumthin' for you too. [gives them all latkes] What's the matter Duo, you never had a latke? There AWESOME, dude! And watch out for the eggnog ... o.O

Cherry Blossom: No more eggnog. Now we have PUNCH! *takes a huge drink of punch*

Duo: Hehehe….

Matteo: Rebecca the Great (can't sign in because freakin' stupid ff.net is being freakin' stupid), writes, 

Hello Cherry-san! Happy Holidays G-boys! ^_^ I'd give you presents but everything you REALLY want would probably be confiscated. (So no guns, C-4, or beam cannons! Sorry!) I can't believe I missed the last episode! I'll read it as soon as I'm done with this review, though, so no worries! Anywho, the MSTing was pretty good considering the material you had to work with. And - hey look! Isn't that Zechs over there behind you, Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: Zechys?! Where? *looks behind her*

Matteo:

::while Cherry's back is turned gives each G-boy pocky and li'l chocolate-covered espresso beans (trust me, they're good!):: 

Cherry Blossom: *turns back* I don't see anybody.

Matteo:

::looks innocent:: Well, er - maybe it wasn't Zechs after all... Be super nice to Fei-babe (luv ya, 'Fei ^_~ )and Duo-chan for me! (agrees with Treize-not-the-hampster...2x5 forever! ^_^ 

G-Boyz: O.o

Matteo:

What? Don't look at me like that! It's better than 13x5...) 

G-Boyz: O.o

Matteo:

Stay groovy Quatre! Give Trowa a big ol' glomp for me! ^_^ And Heero, look on the bright side. As long as you're with Cherry-san, Relena can't get you! ^_^ 

Heero: *shudders* Don't mention her. Please…

Duo: What's the matter Hee-chan? I thought she was your _girlfriend_.

Heero: Omeo o korosu!!

Matteo: mandy writes,

that was great puts a new twist on the season. but that relena club sing off was just too weird. 

Cherry Blossom: Yeah. They wrecked my lawn while they were brawling.

Matteo:

oh yeah cherry i have a few poems that you might want "the politically correct version of the three blind mice" 

G-Boyz: O.o

Matteo:

and one other don't remember the title but you might like it send them to you later. I just have to find my sisters lit. book. and Wufei if you make one more ugly remark about women i will make quatre's zero system disaster look like child's play GOT IT. no offense Quatra. (sorry cherry norwegin in me came out). you know i will be going to canada in a few months for a week.(from maryland usa -_-;;) GO CANADA!!!!!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: *opens her mouth*

G-Boyz: *glare*

Cherry Blossom: *closes her mouth*

Matteo: Kachikara writes,

GO GROUP ONE! KILL THE RELENA LOVERS! ::sees G-Boys:: Oh yeah, merry Christmas! ::pulls ten million boxes of pocky from behind back:: For everybody on the cast and crew, including Dilly, but especially for Wufei (he's got the cutest ass! What yo' foo's talkin' 'bout?) ::hides Wufei from other Wufei worshippers:: Mine! Um, anyway...what do they have in the eggnog up their in Canadia? Canada, Canadia, they're the same thing, right? 

Cherry Blossom: *sings* 'Cause if you're Canadian, you're from…..Canadia. Our future behind us make way for our past, sing out strong and loud!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! 

Matteo:

Well, good job, keep up the good work, and I think I can find some good...er, bad, poems for you to use. Better than crappy, a mix of Crap and Sh*t, crit or shap! Well, ja ne! Merry Christmas, Happy Endless Waltz, Kill Relena!

Cherry Blossom: *sing*** **If you're Canadian, you're from Canadia! We may not know much but by Christ, we're proud.

Wufei: We have GOT to get out of here.

Matteo: Dariana Night writes,

I have presents for everyone!!!!!!!!!! look what I sto—er borrowed from Washuu for you guys (pulls out a star shaped device) A Demensional transporter so you can escape and the other end is at my house ^_^ and I have another present for Wu-koi a platinum Katana engraved with your name and (pulls out a set of keys) a condo in Hong Kong with me ^_^ oh and pocky. ENJOY!

Cherry Blossom: *zaps transporter away* No escaping!

Wufei: Smeg. *hides katana before Cherry can take it*****

Matteo: gothic angel writes,

*joins in with the Anti-Relena club* Kill Relena, kill Relena!!! uh....anyway i just wanted to say u do great humor fics cherry-sama! and those poems...kami are they scary. um..so have a good x-mas and please have a part 8 soon! ja ne!

Cherry Blossom: Is this soon enough?

G-Boyz: YES!

Cherry Blossom: I wasn't asking _you_.

Matteo: Kiyone writes,

HAHAHA! Jello-belly!! LOL this one was sooo funny! ewww...eggnog....lol hey, Ms.Cherry....can i have some turkey and christmas pocky too??? *pouts in an irresistable puppy-dog face* pwetty pwetty pwease?? 

Cherry Blossom: *shrugs* Sure. Knock yourself out.

Matteo:

well, keep on writing! i love these fics! ja ne! love ya Duo! ^_^

Duo: Love you too!

Fangirls reappear out of nowhere: *glare at Duo*

Duo: Uh….

Cherry Blossom: Now how did that happen? *zaps Fangirls away* 

Duo: Phew…

Matteo: baylisswoman writes,

Merry Christmas!!!! I enjoyed that immensely. I will never look at the Night before christmas the same way again. Thank you, Cherry-sama. Oh, I know what smeg means, too. All I Have to say about that is this was smeggin' wonderful. I have some crappy Irish poetry if you would like to MST it. Canada rules, all canadians are my hero's and Quatre's butt is the best but Trowa has the nicest abs. 

Cherry Blossom: Yeah. Did you see the part where he had no shirt in Endless Waltz?

Trowa: *bulshes*

Matteo:

I hope you have a merry x-mas and a happy new year. Don't forget, Canada is the best. after this Presidental debacal,I am seriously thinking of moving there...If only I had money to move there with...*Baylisswoman eyes Quatre* how 'bout a loan... I'll give you back your camel plushie and put you with Trowa in my next fiction...please... *Looks at Cherry* Well until he gives me an answer I'll just freeze here. Bye, Bye! Canadians are the coolest!

Quatre: Uh….

Cherry Blossom: Never mind him. I'll give you the money! EVERYONE needs to move to Canada! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!!! Come to the dark side Luke!!

Duo: This random Star Wars moment was brought to you by the makers of CPT.

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Miaka Maxwell write,

Cherry Blossom: Miaka? What happened to Chetiche?

Matteo:

Lucky:~sniffy~Chet...chet...CHET DECIDED NOT TO WATCH ANIME ANYMORE!WAHHHH!!!~cries~The only thing worse is~sniff~SHE'S ON CHRISTMAS BREAK IN HAWAII!WAHH!!!! Miaka:(my new BFF)It's okay...uh...keep up the great work Cherry and Merry christmas/happy holidays/HAPPY NEW YEARS!And umm....Duo,love ya babe! Lucky:~sniff~Yeah...keep up the good work...~tears run down face~Chetiche's an IDIOT!And umm...~gets lil' happier~I wuv u Heero!Both:Ja! 

Cherry Blossom: That's so sad….we've lost Chet.

moment of silence

Quatre: *hopefully* Maybe she'll convert back?

Heero: One can only pray.

Matteo: Caliko writes, 

staring....can't stop staring......:) (Btw...as for hockey.....NJ DEVILS RULE) can you tell i'm a transplant from Jersey??????? Mars

Cherry Blossom: I like Old timers hockey games. They're funny.

Duo: What's she talking about?

Trowa: Who knows?

Duo: The Shadow kno—

Heero: Don't start that again.

Matteo: Starblade (The **Original** Goddess of Death) writes,

Great fic! I think the Anti-Relena person will win. DIE Relena! You should give Heero back his gun, just to kill Relena though. Do the whole world a favor. Total peace is a bad thing. Cuz then we wouldn't have any fun. Oh, before I forget. The line "As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly, When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky" means that the reindeer are flying as fast as leaves in the wind and if something is in their way, they'll fly over it easily. At least that's what I get out of it. *shrugs* And another thing...*glomps Duo* can't you leave this poor, kawaii, lil' bishy out of this insane torture. Poor, poor Duo-chan... *kisses him on the cheek and thinks about taking him home, and saving him from this torture of crappy poems* hmmmm...*decides not to cuz Cherry will probably be mad at her if she did, and this is too funny, watching all the torture* Sorry Duo-chan... but I promise you a life-time supply of sugar and candies if you be a good lil' Shinigami and listen to the crappy poems without being TOO annoying. *kisses him again and lets go of him* 

Duo: I'm not annoying EVER.

Wufei and Heero: *choke*

Matteo:

Keep up the good work, Cherry! These fics are great! ^-^ Can't wait for the next one! *throws a small stone (that coincedently looks like a piece of coal), with the word "Injustice", at Wufei and whistles innocently* 

Wufei: Why you……KISAMA!!

Matteo:

heheh...sorry, I just HAD to pick on him. He's just TOO easy to get upset, and he looks so funny when mad. And yep, I am a Baka Onna, so neer! Don't ask me why I say neer...it's for the same reason that no one asks Heero where he puts his gun...YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW! *had one too many pixie stix* 

Cherry Blossom: PIXIE STIX ^__^

Matteo:

heheh...ok....this is getting really long now...so I think I'll go...Keep up the good writing, Cherry! Ja Ne! *disappears in a flash of black light*

Quatre: Why can't I disappear in a flash of black light?

Cherry Blossom: You have no authoress powers.

Quatre: Neer.

Matteo: Meg Uchuno writes,

Holy Kami-sama! This episode had everything! Anti-Relena's and Relena lovers beatin' the crap out of each other, Matteo getting his break, Duo singing ^.^, ::shudders:: Dorthiy singing, everything! Plus, you people saved me from my sister, I'm grateful. If ya want, I'll take over Matteo's job. It'll be my way to say " Doomo!". I also found out what smeg means! SMEG! Thats my new favorite word! SMEG! ::singing, quite well I may add:: Smeg, is a cool word! It has my name in it! I use it when my bakana computer goes on the blink! Ore ai smeg!::finishes:: How was that Blossom-san? 

Cherry Blossom: Interesting. And catchy. Maybe it'll become a theme song.

Wufei: Is there no justice?

Duo: No.

Matteo: 

So, how goes it? I hope it goes well. What was with that "Matteo's koi" girl?! She is more insane then I am, and I'm pretty insane! No worries Matteo, the faithful readers of the CPT will protect you. My x-mas is really sucking. ~.~ My sister and I just fought tooth and nail over control of our TV. I missed "Endless Waltz" 'cause she won! I've never seen "Endless Waltz."! Is it good? 

Cherry Blossom: Ohhh yes! Endless Waltz is the BEST!

Matteo:

grrrrrrrrrrr. When I figure out how to stop my glaives from disappering on me when I fight my sis, I'll kill 'er. ::girl walks up behind reviewer:: Carrie- what are you doing? Meg- reading CPT. Now go away. Carrie- Another dumb anime thing?! Your in High School! Your too old to watch baby cartoons! I'm telling mom! Meg- smeg. Carrie-what? Meg- smeg. Its Blossom-san's word. Carrie- another person who has nothing better to do then watch catroons meant for 5yr olds and write stories no one reads? Get a life, whoever you are. Meg::pushes sister out of room and locks door:: Don't worry. ::evil deathglare x a million:: she's not going to be in the Land of the Living for long... Gomen about her insulting you like that, honorable Blossom-san. She doesn't understand otaku's, as you probably saw. Well, guess I should go and try to fix my glaive so it doesn't disappear anymore. Any idea's guys? I could use it. 

Cherry Blossom: Try a big stick. It always works for me ^__^

Little-green: Or you could use a lethal hamster.

Trieze: *grins and bites all the pilots and Matteo in the butt*

Heero: OMEO O KOROSUUUUUUUUUU!

Matteo: Boooooooooooooooooooooh ;_;

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!

Quatre: Why me?

Duo: ITAAAAAAAAAAI!!

Trowa: %&$#*#(%@(#@%(!*($*%)$*(#$*%(#!*^($#)%!#$%#$%!#^$#^$@%^$%&

Cherry Blossom: Trowa! Such language! And in front of guests too. Hey green-chan, glad you could make it! 

Little-green: You know me. Always ready for a party.

Cherry Blossom: Here have a noisemaker. And a silly hat.

Matteo:

::tosses everyone pocky:: Pocky for all! I've never had pocky. Is it good? What IS pocky anyways? 

Everyone: O.o

Duo: Never

Heero: Had

Wufei: Pocky?

Quatre: You poor thing!

Trowa: That's a tragedy.

Cherry Blossom: I'll mail you some pocky.

Matteo:

BTW- I adore these CPTs, keep 'em coming! Ja ne! 

Cherry Blossom: Byeee!

Matteo: Hawk writes,

Smeeg- Cherry-Sama please give the guys bacmk the toys I gave them. Hey WTF? Is pocky??? 

Cherry Blossom: All right peeps, listen up! I'm only gonna explain this once. Pocky is a delicious little biscuit in the shape of a stick, flavored with the flavouring of your choice. And I always choose CHOCOLATE!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

G-Boyz: O.o

Matteo:

Merry Christmas GUYS ( Heero remember that the Relena, and Now Dorothy( my scouts caught her this smornin) roast is on for tomorrow night.)Here Duo have some egg nog and chocolates, WU-MAN you don't insult me i won't insult you. Quatre, give this to trowa, and heero but dont let cherry see it( hands him 2 daggers, and another gun, for the roasting of the biTcH, ) you know what goes with what. Matteo here is some more asprin, but please don't kiss my feet. 

Cherry Blossom: Have some punch green-chan! 

Little-green: Don't mind if I do.

Duo: Hehehe….

Matteo: Black Tiger writes,

(Sits on Heero's lap)"you can borrow my Gundam Death Kat."(lookes at Cherry and gets pissed.Grows snake fangs,eyes go cat, like sprouts deman wings,and gets a tail with a scythe blade)"TAKE AWAY MY HEE-CHAN'S X-MAS PRESENT"(Chases Cherry around trying to cut her head off)"DON'T DO IT AGAIN!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Help! Wait a mintue….why am I running? I have the power around here! *zaps Black Tiger into a nice gilded cage* Don't tick me off.

Quatre: Now Cherry, I'm sure she didn't mean it.

Cherry Blossom: *sighs* Fine. *lets her out of the cage* Have some punch.

Matteo: 

"Here Hee-chan."(gives heero 20 pounds of chocolate pocky and a Rolex frenches her fav pilot)luv ya!

Duo: You're not supposed to kiss until midnight. 

Heero: *stupid grin*

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego writes,

*smites the Relena-loving carolers* Merry Christmas, Heero!

Heero: And a happy New Year! Yay!

Trowa: Hey Heero, did you happen to have any of the punch?

Heero: Yeah. Why?

Trowa: Er…

Duo: Ahehehe…

Cherry Blossom: Poems! And then party! Yeah!! 

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Scene…doesn't change at all since we aren't actually _in_ a theater and Cherry Blossom's got a kick @ss home entertainment system.

Cherry Blossom: Well here we are. The verge of a new year. And all I can say is……WHO ATE MY LUNE MOONS?!

Duo: Uh….*wipes whipped cream off his face*

Cherry Blossom: Never mind. All of you are here to marvel at the wonder of technology that is my spy-cam.

Heero: Spy-cam?

Cherry Blossom: with this little number I can look in on various people around the globe. And all at the push of a button!

Quatre: You mean this button? *reaches to press big red button labeled DON'T PRESS THIS BUTTON!!*

Cherry Blossom and the G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Trowa: *tackles Quatre and leads him away from the button*

Quatre: What?

Matteo: Never NEVER press _that_ button!

Quatre: B-but why?

Cherry Blossom: _That_ button causes the producers of YTV to cancel Gundam Wing.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Fangirls: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Fanboyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

somewhere out in space…..

Aliens: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Little alien #1: I haven't taped Endless Waltz yet!! 

back to Cherry Blossom's house

Cherry Blossom: Ya wanna press a button? I've got plenty. *brings out a board full of buttons to press*

Duo: What's this one do? *points to a pink button*

Cherry Blossom: That sends a million elephants to come and squish Relena's pink limo.

Quatre: Squish Relena?

Cherry Blossom: No. Just her limo. God I hate that thing…

Duo: *presses a button*

Somewhere in the Sanq kingdom

Relena: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Zechs: WHOO HOO! No more pink limo!!!

Noin: Where'd all the elephants come from?

Pagan: Someone must have pushed the button. 

Relena: *weeps*

back to Cherry Blossom's house

Trowa: What does this button do?

Cherry Blossom: That causes a man in Mississippi to have to go to the washroom _really_ bad.

Heero: What about this one?

Cherry Blossom: Uh…that just creates more snow in New York.

Wufei: How about this?

Cherry Blossom: That sends two million beetles to my next door neighbor's rose garden.

Quatre: Ohh, what's this one do Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: That one creates really bad toupees.

Little-green: Can I press one?

Cherry Blossom: Sure. Try this one. It changes the colour of Niagara Falls. 

Wufei: Isn't that just a bunch of lights shined on the water.

Cherry Blossom: No.

Sailor-Ariel: Am I late for the party?

Cherry Blossom: Nope. Here have a button.

Sailor-Ariel: Ookay. What's this one do?

Cherry Blossom: That one totally obliterates all the moose in Toronto! Buahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Everyone else: O.o;;;

Matteo: Enough with the buttons, guys. We have a show to do.

Cherry Blossom: Oh yeah, right. Well….spy cam will show various people celebrating New Years around the world! Let's look in on Relena.

spy-cam shows Relena crying by the squashed form of a pink limo

Relena: My caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar! *sobs*

Pagan: You can always buy another one.

Relena: B-but it's not the s-same, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Cherry Blossom: Hehehe….let's check up on the Maguanac's New Years Party. 

spy-cam shows Quatre's mansion, strewn with streamers and balloons, dark with strobe lights blinking on and off and loud music playing in the background

Rashid: *singing* Sharif don't like it!

Maguanacs: *sing* ROCK the casbah! ROCK the casbah!

Abdul: *swinging from the chandelier* Whoo hoo!

G-Boyz: O.o

Quatre: MY HOUSE!

Cherry Blossom: Ah…let's change the channel. 

spy-cam shows Zechs' bedroom

Zechs: Noin!

Noin: Unh….ooohh Zechs!

G-Boyz: *blink* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

Sailor-Ariel: *snickers*

Little-green: *munches popcorn*

Cherry Blossom: *switches off the spy camera* That's enough of that! Uh…let's just go to the poems.

Quatre: My virgin eyes!

Wufei: I hate you, Cherry.

Cherry Blossom: I know. Today we have a collection of children's poems sent to us by DazyLuna2. Thank you Luna-chan ^__^

Trowa: Yeah thanks. A lot. 

Cherry Blossom: Cue the Disclaimer!

Matteo: Cueing disclaimer……..now!

Disclaimer: *sings* Should all disclaimers be forgot and never brought to miiiind, remember dear that Gundam here is nooooo-ooooot mine!!

G-Boyz: O.o

Cherry Blossom: Very nice! Time to read Matteo.

Matteo: *clears throat*

****

Croodlin' Doo

Wufei: Excuse me?

Quatre: How rude!

Duo: What the hell?

Cherry Blossom: It gets worse.

****

by Mary Norton

Wufei: Another female crappy poet.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up, Wufei.

****

Ho, 

Cherry Blossom: *icily* What did you call me?

****

pretty bee, did you see my croodlin doo?

Duo: Who's she calling a pretty bee?

Quatre: What's a croodlin' doo?

Heero: I have a feeling that I don't want to know.

****

Ho,

Cherry Blossom: *growls* Call me that one more time…

G-Boyz: *inch away from Cherry*

****

little lamb,

Quatre: Nooooooooooooooooo!! Sheep!

Sailor Ariel: Don't worry. I'll protect you from the bad sheep.

Trowa: *rolls his eyes*

****

is she jinkin on the lea?

Heero: How the hell would I know?

Wufei: Jinkin on the lea? 

Quatre: I'm not sure….but that sounds hentai to me.

Duo: *opens mouth*

Cherry Blossom: NO!

Duo: *closes mouth*

****

Ho, 

Cherry Blossom: Okay that's it. *gets her glaive* I'm gonna kill her.

Matteo: *looks scared* Eep!

Trowa: But Cherry, she's not really here. It's just Matteo reading the poem.

Cherry Blossom: Oh. *sits back down* Forget for a minute. Continue!

****

bonnie fairy, bring my dearie back to me-

Got a lump o' sugar an' a posie for you.

Wufei: Now that's a bribe!

Duo: I'd do it for the sugar.

Heero: Hehehe…

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI! *bangs Heero with the end of her glaive*

Heero: Ow…

****

Only bring me back my wee, wee croodlin' doo!

Trowa: and I still have no clue as to what a croodlin' doo might be.

Quatre: Maybe it's Australian for bad poem.

Wufei: Or no plot.

Heero: Or no sense.

Cherry Blossom: Or pocky.

G-Boyz: O.o;;;

Cherry Blossom: What? 

****

Why here you are, my little croodlin' doo!

### Looked in her cradle, but didn't find you there-

Heero: Croodlin' doo is the name of a baby?

Duo: Poor kid.

Wufei: It is an injustice to call a human being that.

### Looked f'r me wee, wee croodlin' doo ever'where;

Quatre: Did you check the oven?

Cherry Blossom: Quatre!

Quatre: What?

****

Be'en kind lonesome all er da withouten you-

Wufei: *blink* All er da withouten you?

Duo: Typo?

Trowa: One can only hope.

****

Where you be'n, my teeny, wee, wee croodlin' doo?

Heero: *as Croodlin' do* Running as far away from _you_ as I can get!

Duo: That was stupid.

Quatre: Maybe kids like it better.

Cherry Blossom: Let's ask 'em. Kids! What do you think?

a panel of 10 kids pop in out of nowhere, give the poem a unanimous thumbs down and then pop back out

Cherry Blossom: And there you have it. Next!

Matteo:

****

The Night Wind

Trowa: Let's hope this one is better.

Wufei: I doubt it.

****

Have you heard the night wind go "Yooooo?"

Duo: Yo homie! Wazzup!

Everybody: O.o

Duo: Waaaaaaaaaazzzzzzzuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuppppppppp!!!!!!!!!

Wufei: I want out. Now.

****

'Tis a pitiful sound to hear!

Trowa: Yeah. Pitiful.

****

It seems to chill you through and through

With strange and speechless fear

Duo: My fear isn't strange and speechless. It's familiar and loud.

Wufei: Everything about you is loud, Maxwell.

Duo: : P

### 'Tis the voice of the night that broods outside

Quatre: Ack! Hentai!

Cherry Blossom: That's _broods_ not _breeds_.

Quatre: Oh. 

****

When folks should be asleep,

And many a many's time I've cried

To the darkness brooding far and wide

Heero: *as darkness, brooding* I hate my life. This place sucks. I never get to do anything fun.

Trowa: Stop it.

### Over the land and the deep:

Quatre: Deep what?

Duo: Deep shi—

Cherry Blossom: No swearing!

Duo: *pouts*

****

"Whom do you want, O lonely night,

#### Trowa: Actually, I just wanted a sandwich. Brooding make you hungry.

****

that wail you the long hours through?"

Heero: Syntax!

Wufei: Just give up, Heero.

****

and the night would say in its ghostly way:

### Duo: *as night* Eat at Joooooooes! Eat at Jooooooooooes!!

Wufei: *also as night* Buy Pepsiiiiiiiiiii! Buy Pepsiiiiiiiiiiiiii!

Quatre: *you know the drill* Escafloooooooowne!! Escaflooooooooowne!!

Dilly: *perks up* Van? BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

Relena: Heeeeeeeeeeeerrroooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heero: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hides behind Cherry*

Cherry Blossom: Ah smeg. How'd she get here? Never mind, I'll just zap her out. *zaps Relena back to the Sanq Kingdom*

Heero: *sigh of relief* 

### "YOOOOOOOOOOOO!

G-Boyz: O.o

Cherry Blossom: My GOD it's the ghost of Fat Albert!

Everybody: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

****

YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

YOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Trowa: That was so stupid.

Wufei: I agree.

Duo: Can we party now?

Cherry Blossom: All the guests haven't arrived—

all the people who reviewed CPT EVER are now zapped inside Cherry Blossom's house

Cleckmoon: Hey Cherry. Nice digs. Is that a lava lamp?

Dariana Night: Wufei!!

Rebecca the Great: Wufei!!

Wufei: *glomped on all sides* Urgh…

Duo: Punch for everybody! *gives everyone a glass of punch and runs away snickering*

Cherry Blossom: Stupid hats and noisemakers for everybody!! *runs around sticking hats and noisemakers in everybody's hands*

TrowasGirl: So….Matteo…..do you work out?

Matteo: Uh…hehe…

Cherry Blossom: Time to start the countdown! 

Everybody: Ten…….nine………eight……..

Fangirls: *inch closer to the bishounen of their choice*

Everybody: seven……..six……….five……..

G-Boyz: *look extremely nervous*

Everybody: three……..two……….one………….HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

noisemakers are blown, bishounen are kissed, punch is drank…or is that drunk? And everyone parties! Whoo hoo! Get down with your bad self ^__^ 


	9. Crappy Poem Theater 9

Crappy Poem Theater

Total, eerie, SILENCE! Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom who is lying on a extremely white, extremely sterile hospital bed, fiddling with the iv tube in her hand and looking really miserable.

Cherry Blossom: Hello and welcome to the NINTH episode of CPT. Guess you're wondering why we're here in this hospital instead of the Theater, right? 

Duo: Not particularly.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up.

Matteo: Cherry's sick.

Wufei: Whoo hoo!

Heero: Yeah!

Cherry Blossom: SHUT UP! This doesn't mean that you're getting out of CPT.

Wufei: Smeg. 

Cherry Blossom: Sorry to everyone who was waiting for a Valentine's Day Special but I haven't the energy to look up new hentai poems. 

Duo: Plus the gag reflex is really high right now…

Cherry Blossom: Caught a weird tropical disease in the Bahamas. 

Quatre: Look on the bright side. No shark attacks!

Duo: Wow Q. You really know how to cheer a person up.

Quatre: ::beams:: Thanks!

Trowa: Quatre…

Quatre: Yes Trowa?

Trowa: Nevermind.

Cherry Blossom: The nurse threw out the new kazoo player. She said he was "unsanitary".

Trowa: He was.

Cherry Blossom: Well what do you expect for four bucks?

Random Nurse: Time for medication!

Cherry Blossom: Ah, sweet morphine! Yes!

Heero: Drugs…

Cherry Blossom: Shut UP. I'm sick. It's justified.

Heero: Keep telling yourself that.

Cherry Blossom: : P

Trowa: Can we just get on with it? 

Matteo: Reviewer's Corner coming up. Watch that you don't hit your head on the incoming title. We had to restrict its height for…reasons…

Wufei: Bad formatting.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up. Roll 'em.

Reviewer's Corner

Duo: Ow!

Matteo: Told you.

Cherry Blossom: ::grinning:: Okay kiddies! Let's get this show on the road! YEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!! BUAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Wufei: O.o

Heero: Morphine.

Wufei: Oh.

Cherry Blossom: READ!!

Matteo: The first letter is from Ginga who writes,

::wobbles around drunkenly:: I *hic* loved dat one...poems are *hic* so cool...heehee...great punch ya made, Duo! Happy *hic* New Years!! Heeheehee... ::falls down and starts twitching::

Duo: Whoa.

Trowa: Medic…

Cherry Blossom: Holy be-jesus! Is new years the last time we did this?

Quatre: Yep.

Cherry Blossom: Matteo!

Matteo: Hey, I've been busy.

Cherry Blossom: Uh huh. Where's that horror fic I was supposed to have out by February?

Matteo: ….the werewolf ate it?

Cherry Blossom: ::sigh:: Next.

Matteo: Cherry Blossom writes,

Wufei: Great. The weak onna reviewed her own fic. How pathetic.

Cherry blossom: SHUT UP! I didn't review. I complained. About my lack of FORMATTING. Did anybody notice how my titles were all like point size ten and really really curvy? It's the devil's work, I swear.

Matteo:

What happened to my formatting! My Crappy Poem Theater's are so little and curvy! Stupid word processor from HELL. *goes off grumbling*

Heero: Still haven't replaced your processor?

Cherry Blossom: No. It's like that monkey paw thing. It just keeps coming back…

Duo: That's funny. I would've said it was like onions. They just keep coming back…

Cherry Blossom: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Quatre: Ew…

Duo: What?

Matteo: Lucky Yuy and Miaka Maxwell and My friend Vanessa who just happens to be right here right now write, 

Lucky:She still didn't come back....

Wufei: Who?

Trowa: You know.

Wufei: No I don't.

Trowa: Chet.

Wufei: Who?

Cherry Blossom: Just nevermind.

Matteo:

Miaka:At least we have ~evil corny music~VANESSA! 

Vanessa:WHAZZAP! 

Miaka:WHAZZAP! 

Lucky:WHAZZAP!C'Mon Guys join in too! 

All G-Boyz,Cherry and Matteo:WHAZZAP!!!!!

Lucky:~smiles~Good.

Lucky:Forget Chetiche.We have.....MARISSA!~cue to corny music~Marissa hasn't seen the wonders of GW cos' she just started watching DBZ AND CARTOON NETWORK TO GW OFF THE AIR! 

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

Miaka:They replaced it with BATMAN!!!!!!!!!!! 

Duo: Danna nanna nanna nanna BATMAN!!

Everyone else: O.o;;;

Duo: What?

Vanessa:DU~UO!As Shinigami make CN get GW back on the air again.... 

Duo: I'd love to but…

Heero: He has no authority.

Duo: Neither do you : P

Miaka:I heard they were gonna stick Original Mobile Suit Gundam on.... 

Lucky:And Outlaw Star. ~crappy Toonami announcer(not TOM or Sara)~Outlaw Star!Premiring Monday January 15 at 6.5pm Be there. 

Everyone:Uh...yeah. 

Cherry Blossom: I wouldn't be able to. I don't get Toonami. 'Cause I live in—

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: ::pouts:: You never let me finish!

Heero: We don't want to hear about Canada anymore. Do you understand? No. More. Canada!!!!

Cherry Blossom: But—

Heero: NO!

Matteo: 

Lucky:Okay,nuff rambling.Just continue the series and if you don't ~takes

Zechs~His Butt Will Get Plasic Sugery And It Will Look Like A Big Old Fat Dude's Butt! 

Cherry Blossom: INJUSTICE!

Wufei: Heeeeeey. You can't steal my lines!

Heero: Just give up. She's already taken my deathglare. And that was PATENTED.

Cherry Blossom: ::deathglares:: Shut up, all of you.

Matteo:

Zechs;Please save my butt.... 

Miaka:~smirk~Cos' EVERYONE knows Duo Has the Cutest! 

Lucky:No Heero! 

Vanessa:No way!Quatre Does! 

Marissa:I like Trowa's... 

(My VERY ANNOYING LITTLE SISTER)NO!WUFEI HAS THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Everyone cept' Wuffie-Chan:Yeah....::gags::

Wufei: ::smirks::

Cherry Blossom: Teo-chan, when did I start the cutest butt debate?

Matteo: Uh…::checks records:: Third episode?

Cherry Blossom: And it still continues…

Trowa: Cover your ears…

Quatre: Huh? Why?

Cherry blossom: ::deep breath:: SEXY ZECHSY HAS THE CUTEST ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quatre: Okay…now I'm deaf.

Trowa: Warned you.

Matteo: 

Lucky:Umm...okay I guess I better leave now.Took up too much room already...JA! Miaka:Duo's the cutest!Later! 

Marissa:No Gohan and Trowa!Uhh see ya! 

MVALS:I LOVE YOU WU-BEAR!TTYL! 

Vannessa:~whispers to Quatre~ Quatre:~turns red and blood goes out his nose~ Vanessa:Later,Luva! 

All:BUH-BYE!

Duo: So…Q-man. What'd she say?

Quatre: Nothing that can be repeated.

Duo: Smeg.

Cherry Blossom: Next!

Matteo: little green writes,

Wheeeeee!!! that was soooo good!! Happy new year CherryB chaaaan!! [Treize raises his glass of carrot champagne] Aaaah... It cheered me to read a new crappy! My sis' has been listening to Whitney Houston & Enrique Iglesias in repeat mode for almost an hour now, and I felt like my head was gonna explode... I told her maybe it could be toxic for Treize, but I've been answered that there were no scientific proofs (Which is right, BTW),

Cherry Blossom: That's too bad. We should conduct a study…but I don't think the hamsters would appreciate it.

Matteo:

So we both needed a good laugh [A textbook just flew in my direction becuz' I sang ::Over and over I dreamed of this night/ I want to squish you:: ... I've been answered that those WEREN'T the lyrics... I know, thanx... -_-] 

Heero: Sounded right to me.

Trowa: Me too.

Quatre: ::shakes head:: 

Matteo:

Anyway... That was one of the most hilarious parts, I fell of my chair at the part with the aliens! ^_^ And Treize didn't laugh at all cuz' he was busy testing his new cotton-wool ball... N.B - Can I be here to witness more hentai scenes with a box of pop corn again??

Cherry Blossom: They won't let me have popcorn. However I _do_ have this weird red jello-y stuff. Eat it for me. Please!

Quatre: Now Cherry. The nurse said you couldn't leave until you ate something.

Cherry Blossom: Well then get me a cheesburger or some pocky for heaven's sake! Anything but this!

Heero: It can't taste that bad.

Cherry Blossom: Oh yeah? You try it.

Heero: ::tastes some:: Urg…::gurgling noises:: X_X

Duo: Heero?

Heero: X_X

Cherry Blossom: Told you.

Wufei: Ah, Yuy's just a weakling. Here, let me try some. ::tastes it:: …….

Quatre: Um…you okay Wufei?

Wufei: …….

Quatre: Hello?

Wufei: X_X

Trowa: Well that's two down.

Cherry Blossom: Poison, I tell you. But did you listen? Noooooooooooo…

Matteo: The next letter is from….no name.

Everyone: ::looks at Trowa::

Trowa: What?

Matteo: No I mean the letter wasn't signed.

Cherry Blossom: Oh.

Matteo:

YAY! Party! *is high/drunk/whatever from the punch still* Oi...anyway, I'll agree with you, Cherry, Zechs' ass is just plain hotter than all the other guys on the show. 

Cherry Blossom: Well whoever this person is, they're intelligent.

Wufei: Hhmph.

Heero: Matter of opinion.

Matteo:

Poor Dilly, not enough stuff to burn is there? I know how ya feel, cuz I'm a pyro too! BBBUUUURRRRRNNNN!!! Uh...yeah...

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: NONONONONO!!! You CANNOT burn down the hospital until I'm outside of it, kay?

Dilly: ::pouts::

Cherry Blossom: Okay, fine. But just the kitchen. Don't burn down anything else.

Heero: Yes. The red jello must pay…

Matteo:

*gives Trowa some choclate* It's okay my little clown-kun...You're doing great! *zaps Zechs into Cherry's room* A present cause you reviewed my new story ^.^

Cherry Blossom: Zechs! ::glomps him::

Zechs: Oof…uh…hi there. Why am I in a hospital?

Wufei: Don't worry. You get used to being zapped to weird places and glomped by mad fanfic authors after a while.

Matteo: Uh…next letter's from, Too-Lazy-To-Sign-In-Ree 

Duo: Y'know most people are too lazy to sign in lately.

Trowa: It's an epidemic. Mono.

Quatre: Really?

Trowa: No…

Matteo:

B'ah, yes, Ree's a lazy buttmunch. Ree doesn't have the energy to sign in. *sigh* Ree's also talking in third person today! *grin* Ree says it's third person day today, because she says so! So Ree says: Up up up! Everyone! Talk in third person! ^_^ 

Everyone else: *sweatdrop* 

Ree: Eh-heh-heh. Or maybe not. Anyway, Ree loved this and can't wait for the next episode! She nearly died laughing and choked on her Hershey's Chocolate Kisses! Huzzah! ::Tosses confetti and other things (and not because of New Years O.o) in the air:: Whoo-hoo! 

Duo: CONFETTI!! WHOO HOO!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! ::runs amuck::

Heero: Have you been into the morphine?

Duo: Nooo…

Matteo:

....Ohhh. And Cherry. *grin* Ree knows a coolskies Canada song! 

Heero: Oh no! She said the word…

Trowa: Quick! Gag her!

Matteo:

::Clears her throat and GLARES at all the G-boys:: Try and stop Ree and she'll rip off your heads and shove them so far down your decapitated bodies a HEART SURGEON will have to remove them and then she'll feed the rest of the parts to her dogs while it's still warm! ::growl:: Got it? Okay. Let's go! ::Sings (Yes, Ree's going to sing the entire song. Prepare thyself, ye vile fiends!):: Welcome to Canada, it's the Maple Leaf State. Canada, oh Canada it's great! The people are nice and they speak French too. If you don't like it, man, you sniff glue. The Great White North, their kilts are plaid, hosers take off, it's not half bad. I want to be where the yaks can run free, where Royal Mounties can arrest me! Let's go to Canada, let's leave today, Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait! They've got trees, and mooses, and sled clogs, lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs! We all think it's kind of a drag, that you have to go there to get milk in a bag. 

Cherry Blossom: Wait a minute. Are you telling me that Americans don't get their milk in a bag?

Duo: Yep.

Cherry Blossom: What the hell does it come in then?

Duo: A jug or carton.

Cherry Blossom: Weird. You people are deprived.

Matteo:

They say "eh?" instead of "what?" or "duh?", that's the mighty power of Canada. I want to be where the lemmings run into the sea, where the marmosets can attack me! 

Cherry Blossom: Actually there has been a lot less reports of marmoset attacks lately.

Duo: That's just 'cause they haven't _lived_ to report it.

Matteo:

Please, please, explain to me, how this all has come to be, we forgot to mention something here. Did we say that William Shatner is a native citizen? 

Cherry Blossom: We come in peace. ::makes the Vee hand thingie::

G-Boyz: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!! TREKKIE!!!!!

Matteo:

And Slurpees made from venison, that's deer. ::Stops singing::

Cherry Blossom: eh I don't like those much. But BEAVER TAILS ROCK!!!! Which brown sugar and ice cream….oohh and seasonal fruit!

G-Boyz: O.o ::back away…slowly::

Matteo:

Everyone else: O.O What the hell was that?! 

Ree: ^_^ Ree says it's a song by Five Iron Frenzy, and she doesn't own it (x.x Ree has gotten to the point where she has to put disclaimers in her REVIEWS. Paranoid? You bet'cha), but she DOES own the CD and she thinks it's an awesome song! ^_^ SO YAY!! ... oh. o.o ::apologetic grin:: Ree also says she's sorry for never giving any of you gifts for the Holidays or ever reviewing (x.x Ree's a little behind), BUT! She thinks that this review is long enough for them all! BWAHAHA! ::bursts into a fit of giggles:: Anyway, Ree stopped putting together her Altron Model Kit to write this frickin' review... So you'd all better enjoy it! And... Ree's... sick of talking in third person. Okay. I'm stopping now.

*Phew!* that was annoying. Anyway. ::Glowers menacingly at them all:: You'd BETTER like my review, or ELSE!! I had to pause in constructing my absolutely FLAWLESS model of Altron for this! Oh... ^_^ Hehe. And Wu-bear, don't worry, I'll take good care of it. ::Snuzzles the little model kit affectionately:: It'll go on my special shelf with Mercurius and Sandrock models. ^^ 

Heero: I say we steal her collection.

Trowa: Right.

Duo: Where's miiiiiiiine? ::pouts:: 

Matteo:

... oh. Um. ::Inches away from the potentially jealous and definitely dangerous pilots:: Sorry Trowa, Heero, Duo. Don't have yours put together yet. HeavyArms looked REAL hard to put together, so it's still on my piano bench, and I don't have enough money to buy Wing Zero (But I have the Mercurius o.O), and, uhh... I never plan on buying yours, Duo, because I wanna keep my head on my shoulders. You see, my Duo-obsessed friend, Sonja (AKA Kali Jade here on fanfiction.net *grin*) would kill me if I ever came in contact that has anything to do with you! Yes, she's THAT overprotective! Sonja: ::Appears in a glittery splash of purple smoke:: *Glare* Damn right! Ree: O.O! Sonja-onni! Sonja: *glare* Dun' call me that! Leave MY Duo alone! *double-glare* And if I catch you with a Deathscythe or a Deathscythe Hell model kit I'll have your hide! ::Shakes fist threateningly:: I mean it! ... Oh. And Ree? Ree: o.o Yes, Sonja-onni? Sonja: This review's getting WAY too long. Cherry's bound to be annoyed by now. Ree: ^_^ Okay, Sonja-onni. Sonja: *SMACK!* And DON'T call me that! ::Disappears in a glittering splash of some weird mix of orange and green smoke:: Ree: O.o Orange and green? Ewww. Ugly. Sonja: *just a voice-over now* WHAT?! Ree: O.O! Nothing! It's beautiful! *sweatdrop* Everything about you's beautiful, Sonja. Sonja: Thought so. ::Voice disappears:: Ree: *Phew*. Okay. Anyway. Where was I? ... ah, yes. I'm SORRY I don't have any gifts for any of you. ^^ ::Gives them her pocket lint and some corn flakes:: That's all I have right now. And this. ::Gets out her pretty neon green kazoo that she won at a carnival last year O.o:: I can't supply a kazoo player, unless you'd like ME to play it -- which I guess I'd be willing to do O.o -- but I CAN supply a pretty kazoo. Oh! And watch this! ::Presses a bright red button on the kazoo (yeah, MORE buttons o.o) and the Canadian flag pops out:: ^_^ *sing* Welcome to Canada, it's the Maple Leaf State! *Sound of record scratching* Err. Yeah. ::Gives 'em the kazoo:: I might be back later to review once I'm signed in. *wink* Ya never know. ::evil cackling:: KYAHAHAHA! YOU'VE NOT SEEN THE LAST OF ME! ::Flashes them all the V-sign again winks again:: Ciao! ::Disappears in a burst of Hershey's Chocolate Kisses... whiiiich have now been scattered about the room to make a total, chocolate-y mess of things! Muahaha!:: 

Sonja: ::Still a voice-over:: Wow, what a long review.

Ree: ::Now a voice-over, also:: Tell me about it. That sucked ass. *Sound of Ree getting smacked by Sonja* 

Sonja: Dun' say bad words! This review was supposed to stay G! 

Ree: Rut-roh...

G-Boyz: O.o;;;

Cherry Blossom: Yeah…next!

Matteo: Sailor Ariel writes,

WooHoo!Party!Yes,Quatre...I'll protect you from the sheep... *snickers* Hey! Why did I have to watch Zechs and Noin get it on? I don't deserve that! *looks at her songfics* Oh. Maybe I do.

Duo: Yeah, Zechs. You hentai! Naughty, naughty!

Zechs: ::blushes:: Hey! Where did you get that tape? Gimme!

Cherry Blossom: ::hides tape:: Later. I need it for…research.

Wufei: ::snorts:: I'm so sure.

Cherry Blossom: Shut up, you.

Matteo: Cleckmoon writes, 

Cleckmoon: Lava Lamp! LAVA LAMP! 

Cherry Blossom: Yes, Cherry Blossom is a closet hippie. Peace.

Heero: It comes with the morphine…

Cherry Blossom: SHUT UP!

Matteo:

Happy New Year! I invited the entire cast of the Underground! Larrionov: Lets party like it's 1989! 

Flypipe: What? 

Larrionov: 89! The year the Berlin wall fell! I got soooo buzzed that night. 

Kelly: Ugh... Hey! Cherry! I'll be your new muscian! But i'm playing the alto sax. 

Stix: Yes! Give her something to do! She's been adding sterio systems onto my guns! 

The Wolf: How did I get here? ::looks at Heero:: Man, that guy looks just like me... Hiya Cherry! Heard you like the Underground so much, So we decided to give you a SPECIAL UNDERGROUND SUPRISE! 

Cherry Blossom: SURPRISE!!! WHOO HOO!! ::runs amuck hyperly::

Matteo:

Larrionov: Yeah, but Clecky still has to post it. So keep checking FF.net for your suprise. It should come sooner or later... Probably later.... 

Cherry Blossom: Nononononono!! Sooner! Sooner!!

Matteo:

Everyone: HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE UNDERGROUND CAST!! 

Harry: ::purrs::

---------- Cleckmoon! Patron saint of Moxie Mints, wearer of the holy red turtleneck, keeper of Zechs's red undershirt, holy sayer of 'Doit', 'Farfenuggle', 'Dragon Poo', 'Squick', and 'Holy mother of god, my tighty whities are stuck to my armpit!'

G-Boyz: O.o;;;

Wufei: TOO MUCH INFORMATION!

Matteo: hawk writes,

cant think of anything to say about this right now, but this is an awesome series, Zechs and Heero both have nice rears and they would make a much better couple than 1+R!

Everyone: ::turns to start at Heero and Zechs::

Heero: Omeo o korosu!

Cherry Blossom: Nuh uh. Zechsy is MINE! MINE I TELL YOU!! MUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Matteo:

JESUS ROCKS. Think about him as your personal savior, after all he died for you.

Quatre: I dunno. That sounds mildly creepy to me.

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry about it Q-chan. Anyway, I have no intention of setting up a religious debate on FF.net. That can only lead to headaches. _

Matteo:

Happy New year....hey cherry, Zechs is right behind you.

Cherry blossom: Actually he's beside me.

Matteo:

Zechs walks up* Cherry, will you marry me? 

Cherry Blossom: Thought you'd never ask.

Matteo:

* Hawk gives Heero a gun and Cherry doesn't see it.

Cherry Blossom: But I did read about it. So….gimme the gun Heero. Or do I have to call hospital security?

Heero: ::eyes beefy looking orderly standing by the door:: Sigh…::gives her the gun:: 

Chery Blossom: Merci beaucoup.

Matteo: Nin writes, 

Hey, Matteo, could I borrow some Halls? I'm sick...;_; 

Cherry blossom: You're not the only one.

Matteo:

and I gave you all of my Halls!!! ;_; Even worse, my internet was down for a couple days, because ISP broke their contract!! JERKS! (Okay, I feel better now) Those poems are evil! Were those poets on crack??? 

Trowa: Yes.

Matteo:

Maybe you could put some crappy CANADIAN poems in the next episode? 

Cherry Blossom: ::scoffs:: Crappy Canadian poets? No such thing.

Duo: Buahahahahhahahahahahhahahaha!!!!

Cherry Blossom: ::glares:: Shut it.

Matteo: Yes 'm.

Matteo:

n_n Poor, poor, G-boyz. ::Gives them all a hug:: At least you got SOME revenge! n_n

Wufei: ::blinks:: We did? When?

Matteo: kelly writes,

Yay! These are great! I had something to say in this review but I just completely forgot it..*sighs* My memory sucks. Oh well, write another one soon!

^_^

Cherry Blossom: Er…soon enough?

G-Boyz: YES!

Matteo: Evil Anime Chick writes,

::eyes are red from the punch er...whatever was in it:: Whehehehehe~! *hic* That was some greatt party, yup yup. ::stumbles over her own feet:: You boys didn't lose your virginity, did ya? Matteo ssssssuch a chick magnet. Did ya record what happened *hic* at the party? 

Cherry Blossom: ::hides the tape in the same place she hid Zechsy's:: Noooo….

Matteo:

Spycams are cool. ::collapses on the floor:: Can't wait 'til Chinese New year. Ish three days of cerebrating. And ish this month too! FIRECRACKERS! Whehehehehe~! Ugh. ::finally passes out::

Duo: Chinese New Years ROCKED!!

Wufei: It was a bad idea to give Maxwell firecrackers.

Duo: But whyyyyy?

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Wufei: Exactly.

Quatre: Trowa's eyebrows are still growing back.

Duo: Wasn't my fault. They were defective!

Heero: Hn…

Matteo: Genesis writes,

LoL!! I love your CPT, Cheery Blossom! YOU'RE THE BEST!! 

Cherry Blossom: I'M THE BEST!!!

Trowa: Warning. Head swell alert.

Cherry Blossom: SHUT UP! I RULE!!! BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Matteo: 

oh yeah.. AND THANK YOU, THANK YOU DUO FOR DESTROYING RELENA'S BUTT UGLY PINK CAR!!! I WUV YOU!!! 

Heero: Yes. That was a good thing. 

Cherry Blossom: Let's all hear Noin's lovely haiku again.

Noin: ::pops into the room:: What am I doing here?

Cherry Blossom: Recite your poem for the nice people, Noin.

Noin: ….

Cherry Blossom: ::glares:: NOW.

Noin: Okay okay, sheesh.

Many elephants

Squished the ugly pink limo

Everybody cheered

Cherry Blossom: Lovely! Thank you. Now you may go.

Noin: Can I take Zechs with me?

Cherry Blossom: ….no.

Noin: Smeg. ::pops out::

Matteo:

and Heero! Even though you're a hentai I still wuv you too! and if you never get to do anything fun with these guys... lets go out and do something!! want to? YEAH! LET'S GO OUT TO A MOVIE!! ::winks at Heero and hands him a glass rose and kisses him:: let me know if you do!

Heero: Will it get me out of here?

Cherry Blossom: NO.

Heero: Smeg.

Trowa: Well you have to admit, it was a stupid question.

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Matteo: Rebecca the Great writes,

I got to glomp Wufei!!!! ^_________^ ::dies a happy happy onna:: ::comes back to life, still a happy happy onna:: ^________^ Bwahaha! This was funny! Go Cherry! Rockin' party! Well, I's gotta go, my brother is throwing a hissy fit about my being on the computer. 

Cherry Blossom: I know what that's like. 

Annoying Little Brother: When are you going to be doooooooone? I need to play weird mech games that make no sense!

Cherry Blossom: Quiet you. I'm typing.

Matteo: 

Give my love to the bishounen, Cherry! Happy new year! ^_^

Cherry Blossom: Happy New Year to you too! Uh…in February.

Matteo: mitsukai-hime writes, 

Mwahahaha! Great work Cherry-san! Keep writing more! I've brought you all late holiday presents, even Matteo and Dilly! *hands matteo a case of cherry coke and some aspirin, and gives Dilly a flamethrower decorated with various things on fire* And for duo and Quatre who are oh-so-kawaii *gives Duo a scythe with a rubber tip so cherry-san won't have to take it away, and gives Quatre a bottomless tea cup filled with-well, tea* even Trowa and Wu-man! *gives them lots of pocky* And for Heero, who is my favorite(and has the cutest ass) *gives him a spiffy new beam cannon* but just in case Cherry-san takes it away * jumps into heero's lap and makes out with him for a few minutes, gets up, then turns around and makes out with him some more* and plent of pocky and cheese for cherry. I've never been to canada, but NJ sucks so I'll agree with you. Just dont rant about it-poor g-boys have allready listened to it enough. Oh well. Can I visit the fic? I'll read letters for Matteo. Ja ne, minna-san, and a happy new year to everyone!!

Cherry Blossom: No beam cannons in the hospital.

Heero: Smeg.

Matteo: Elentari writes,

Hey, thanks for letting me visit...you saved my sainity (what's left of it)! Duo, what was IN that punch?! That was a really killer hangover. 

Trowa: Yes, we'd ALL like to know.

Duo: ahehe…::hides underneath the bed::

Matteo:

Croodling doo? CROODILING DOO? Okay, congratulations Ms. Mary, you recieve the dubious honor of having written the most obnoxious nursery rhyme in history! 

Heero: She was on morphine as well.

Cherry Blossom: SHUT UP!!

Matteo:

Never press the button that turns off Gundam Wing in Canada! Don't make everyone suffer..just because the Cartoon Network peeps are idiots! *starts ranting about the utter injustice of it all* Angel: mmm-kay...You sound like Wufei! *shuts up immediately* Angel:Thank you. Neways..this was hilarious. Write more..soon..please? Wheee.....these little dots are fun!.......'K I'll stop now. I've had too much chocolate pocky. Bye! 

Quatre: No such thing as too much chocolate pocky.

Matteo: mandy writes,

looky i am now an author. this was great cherry. i laughed all the way through. and i really need to send you those poems. oh well. and i herd the woman comment WUFEI!!!!! (eyes turn into pools of fire and runs after wufei with scottish long sword)now what did i tell you boy!?! (after about 5 mins of chasing wufei and him nearly losing his pony tail.) can't wait for for ep.9. GO CANADA!!! to g-boyz: you all know now we are just doing this to annoy ya. later

Trowa: We know.

Heero: We are not amused.

Wufei: How dare that onna try and cut off my ponytail! INJUSTICE!

Quatre: You're just making it worse…

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!

Duo: I feel a rant coming on…

Matteo: TrowasGirl writes, 

*Glares at Trowa* 

Trowa: What did I do?

Matteo:

Great party Cherry! Why don't you do the next episode of CPT in the Bahamas? I'll pay for it *Hands Cherry Tickets for her Matteo the G-boys and Dilly-sama* Oh I have a surprise for you Cherry! *Pulls out a very startled Zechs from outside* Keep Cherry Company ok? Zechs: Ok. *Looks at Trowa, starts crying* Ca...can i just stay here Cherry? Please? *Goes and sits in a chair between Matteo and Trowa*

Duo: Ooookay….

Trowasgirl: Hi!

Cherry Blossom: Don't touch the red jello. It's killer.

Matteo: Caliko writes, 

You evil onna! :) (smirk) hehehehehhehehehehe Happy new year!

Quatre: Yes. She is evil.

Cherry Blossom: MWAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Matteo: Dark Heart writes,

That was your funniest yet!!!! *gives Matteo a bear hug* You read that one soooooo good Matteo-koi! I've had a major change of heart: Matteo has the cutest @ss!!!!!! (Don't ask why I'm suddenly in love with Matteo, I think it's just hormones)

Duo: ::pouts:: Teo-chan gets all the action.

Matteo: You don't want the action. Trust me. Being stalked is no fun. 

Heero: I know the feeling.

Matteo: Meg Uchuno ( with a hangover from champange...... ) writes, 

Ossu Blossom-san. What a kickass party! Itai.....my head. Remind me to lay off the champange..... Advil.... must find Advil.... ::find advil and chuggs pills:: Thank Kami-sama for modern medicine.... Anyways, this was one funny CPT! I adored it! I really did! That poem that kept going " Yoooo" was weird beyond belife. I pity whatever child has to listen to that! What wind goes " Yooooo" ? I took your advice and got myself a bunch of creatures to scare my sister with. may I present Danny Pup, Jade Mara Wolf, Xander KiTay, Willow Persia, Ethan Lion, Jessie Camel, Jaina Drake and Darien Tora ( named after a friend of mine ). You can tell what they are by there last names! Aren't they kawaii! Jade ripped a holw in Carrie's jeans and Danny ed on her Teen Magizines! ::laughes evily, lightning crashes behind her, woodlen creatures run in terror:: Thanks for the great advice! BTW- where the jigoku is that pocky? It never arrived! Kuso, Canada has a bad postal service.... Not that I'm dissing Canada! I like Canada! Its almost as cool as Chicago ( where I currently live ) or China or Japan! Canada! I think there's a song about Canada.... ::sings::Blame Canada! Blame Canada! ::relizes what she just sang:: ara ore Kami-sama! That's the South Park song bashing Canada! I REALLY DO LIKE CANADA! I SWEAR ON MY SONY VAIO! I went there last summer. I saw the CN Tower and stayed in the King Edward. I had tea there : ) It ruled. 

Cherry Blossom: The glass floor is losing it's edge. But hey, Maid of the Mist is still a great way to soak your friends. Those ugly blue raincoats do absolutely nothing to keep you dry. 

Matteo:

Itai.... my head.... ::looks in disdane at the empty advil bottle:: This stuff doesn't work! Its making me ramble! Oi, whats this... ::reads lable:: " May cause sleepyness " Huh? Acually... I am feeling kinda sle- ::falls over, totally alseep::

Cherry Blossom: Nighty night.

Quatre: Sleep tight.

Duo: Don't let the bed bugs bite.

Cherry Blossom: Argh! Don't say _that_. Do you know how traumatizing that was when I was a kid? Up all night looking for bed bugs…

G-Boyz: O.o;;;

Matteo: Quaxo The Dark writes,

I can't believe it's not butter... Oh wait.. Yeah I can. 

Quatre: ::confused:: If it's not butter…what is it?

Duo: That's what we'd all like to know Q.

Matteo:

*Chuckles* *Hands out Pocky and asks why Quatre is afraid of sheep* 

Quatre: Long story. You don't want to know.

Matteo:

Still looking for those poems! If I can't find them, I'll look up something else. Oh yeah.. *Flops back down on the same spot on the floor* I'm still dead from laughing so hard and this one continued to crack me up. :-D

Duo: Rest in Peace.

Matteo: Gundamaniac writes,

*Wipes tears from eyes* That was sooo funny.....These poems keep getting crappier and crappier. I think you should let Wufei leave before Treize(not the hamster) gets there. *Shudders* Yuck......Who'd wanna have sex with him? Not me. I'd rather eat pocky with Duo. Bye!!!

Cherry Blossom: Green-chan likes Trieze. Besides, he's got the whole evil forked eyebrow thing going for him. Hey, better him then General Septum.

General Septum: ::pops in:: DID SOMEBODY CALL MY NAME?

G-Boyz: ARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Quatre: I thought Une killed him!

Trowa: So did I. 

Wufei: Apparently the onna didn't do a good enough job.

Duo: Maybe he's like the onions… 

Heero: Shut up Duo.

General Septum: WHERE AM I ANYWAY?!

Cherry Blossom: Keep it down. This is a hospital. You have to whisper.

General Septum: I AM WHISPERING!!!!

Duo: Cherry, do something.

General Septum: HEY ARE YOU GUYS THE GUNDAM PILOTS?!!

Cherry Blossom: ::zaps him out of the hospital:: 

Trowa: Thank God.

Heero: NOT YOU, DUO!

Duo: ::winces:: I wasn't gonna say nothin'. Sheesh.

Matteo: Toucan writes,

Gomen about the books Cherry! I saw them in the store and thought of the G-Boys ^^ Hey, check out #64 

Trowa: ::reads:: Sing "the name game" over and over again until her head eplodes.

Duo: Cherry cherry bo-berry banana fanna fo-ferry! Me mi mo mary! Cherry!

Cherry Blossom: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Matteo:

^_~ Anyway, those poems were the crappiest EVER! YOU ROCK, DAZYLUNA2!!!! Jaa!

Wufei: Trowa trowa bo-bowa, banana fanna fo-fowa! Me mi mo mowa! Trowa!

Cherry Blossom: SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! 

Matteo: Paco writes, 

LMAO!! this is hysterical!!! *gives everyone pocky* Mmmm... Pocky... *drool drool* °¬°...I've only had it like, a couple times, but yeah, I'm addicted...^^ oh yeah and CANADA FOREVER!!!!

Quatre: Canada canada bo-banada, banana fanna fo fanada! Me mi mo manada! Canada!

Cherry Blossom: Kill meeee…

Matteo: Corazon del Fuego (once and always) writes,

*stumbles in the door, having fallen out the window during the party* I don't know what was in that punch... {deathglare x20 at Duo} ...but from now on I'm bringing my own beverages to these CPT parties. Just look what happened to Alan! [Alan: *lies in a comatose state on the floor*] Sheesh! Honestly, Cherry-sama you should be a bit more responsible. *reaches into Trowa's hair and pulls a thermos out of bang-space* Ahhh... sweet MOHK... (Milk of Human Kindness, ya' know) *chugs MOHK* NOW - I thought that this episode could quite possibly be called the funniest damn thing I have ever read. At last, the /eeeee~eevil/ pink limo is dead. ^_____^ hahahaha... that ryhmes!! *wonders why he wasn't privy to Zechs' and Noin's interlude* Oh well, laterz minna. ^__^

Heero: Minna minna bo-binna, banana fanna fo-finna! Me mi mo minna! Minna!

Cherry Blossom: X_X One more time and you guys are all dead, got it?

Matteo: Sage, Mistress of Magic writes,

*waves at the guys and Cherry* Hi! I'm sorry to tell you this Duo-kun, but I didn't drink any of the spiked punch that you gave me. I am also sorry that I said that you were too cute for words Quatre, it was my fault that those idiotic, barbaric fangirls almost killed you and why Heero's hair turned blue. I have to think of a way to show I'm sorry... I know! *zaps everybody to a gigantic room that has millions of books stacked on shelves* *Sage is sitting in a big desk with a laptop typing away furiously, reminding them of Heero. When she hears a popping sound from the puff of smoke they appeared in, she looks up and waves at them.* Sage: Hope you like it! 

Quatre: Is this a library? 

Sage: Um...*shuffles her feet nervously* It's actually my work room that I created with my magical powers... 

Duo: What magical powers? I heard of authoress powers but not MAGICAL powers. 

Sage: I don't call myself the Mistress of Magic for nothing. Well, 'newayz, I brought you guys here because... I wanted to show you that I'm sorry. And plus, my authoress powers couldn't carry all the gifts that I got for you all! Gomen nasai Cherry-sama for giving Heero the gun that killed the kazoo player. So instead of you getting a kazoo player, I'll give you a surround-sound stereo system and all the cd's that you ever wanted! *snaps her finger and the surround-sound stereo system appears in a blue puff of smoke* So you'll never have to listen to a kazoo, and instead listen to the real stuff! Here Heero, I'm really sorry that your hair turned blue. *hands him a high-tech laptop computer and another gun* *sees the looks Cherry is giving her* It's not a real gun, it's a water gun, see! *shoots Wufei with it until he's soaking wet* That, Wufei, is what you get for calling me a hentai! *sticks her tongue out at him* *whispers to Heero* You still have the grenade launcher I gave you! For Duo, I'll give him...uhh...anything you want! Just tell me, and I'll zap it here for you! Trowa, you get a new flute and a kiss on the cheek. And TrowasGirl, this is just a friendly kiss, remember, he's still yours! Quatre, you get a new violin, and a kiss on the lips cuz I like you a lot! And if anybody complains about this, I will use my magic on you, and you will burn to a crisp!!! And of course, last but not least, even though I'm mad at him, I'll give Wufei...uhh...anything he wants too. 

Wufei: I want to go home.

Cherry Blossom: Anything but that.

Wufei: Smeg.

Matteo:

Since this is getting long, I guess I have to send you back... *sends everybody back to Cherry's house, but before they could say anything, another POP is heard, and Sage appears with a laptop* Sorry bout that, but I wanted to... Cherry, I absolutely LOVE your house!!! Well, what I was saying before was that I was wondering if I could stay for the rest of today's episode and read the rest of the reviews for Matteo, or just to stay. *snaps her finger, and a gigantic chair appears behind Cherry* That's for you Cherry. Hope you like it! *sits on the floor* Oh yeah, I almost forgot, this is for you Matteo. * gives him a cooler, and inside of it he finds food and soda. There is also headache medicine for him too.*

Cherry Blossom: Whoo hoo! I'm home! I'm free! No more hospital! Wait….where's my morphine?

Heero: Druggie…

Cherry Blossom: Shut up.

Matteo: Juliana Kintobor writes,

Yet another brilliant work by Cherry Blossom! Oh, I finally got my butt registered as Evil Chicka (really, that's me! I swear!) but I'm not signed in so that you can recognize me as your dear, dear Juliana... anywhoz, you *are* on my favorite authors list, as promised, and if you don't belive me, go check! YOU ABSOLUTELY RULE!

Wufei: Swelled head…

Duo: You should talk Wu-man.

Wufei: Kisama! Don't call me that!

Duo: Whatever Wu-man.

Matteo: Mistress of Death writes,

*rubs head* Still hungover, cannot laugh my ass off. *winces* But it was good as always! *stumbles away* PS: Site addy:

http://home.beseen.com/social/mistressofdeath

Cherry Blossom: Thanks Mistress! I'll come visit when I get the chance. 

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

SnK: Cherry, I was unable to find the salesman who wants to sell you windows. They have the most annoying habit of disappearing when you have a shotgun, or are prepared to turn them into a fuzzy woodland creature. But, I managed, so here he is, if ya want him. *hands over Zelda:LTP bunny* Kilik:Umm... 'Kaze-chan... who was that..? 

SnK:If I tell you, I will have to cut out your tounge, because you're too fine to die. So, do you still wanna know...? 

Kilik:....no... it's cool.... 

SnK:That's what I thought.... hmm.. Heero with blue hair.. that reminds me of... Rudy Roughnight! He's got a horrible English name, but is a great lookin' guy, anyway! He'd make a great addition to my video game charater servents... *snaps her finders and a confused 16yr old with blue hair that is nearly identital to Heero's just appears* 

Rudy:...? 

SnK:*sighs* I forgot, he's as bad as Trowa.. if not worse... a game that takes about a minimum of 50 hours to play, and he says one thing. It's something like "I'm sorry, I won't ever do it again." 

Rudy:... 

SnK:Anyway, Cherry, hiliarious as always.. and I really don't want to even know what the hell Croodlin' Doo is really about...

Quatre: We don't either.

Matteo:

oh, and by the way, here is a copy of the picture I took on New Years.. it came out quite well... *hands Cherry 8x11 picture in a frame* The flash really made Heero's tiara sparkle! *disappears with Kilik and Rudy.. then a note falls from the back of the picture frame staing in bold black letters "Deathscythe is the best Gundam!!!"*

Duo: It is, isn't it!

Cherry Blossom: Epyon!

Heero: Wing!

Trowa: Heavyarms!

Wufei: But you always run out of ammo.

Trowa: ….

Quatre: I like Sandrock.

Duo: We know ya do,Q.

Matteo: Caro-chan writes,

YARRRRRRRRRRRGH!!!!!! Dilly, you are *not* by *any* means allowed to hurt my Van-sama! (Glomps him protectively) Heeheehee, thanks for inviting me to your party, Cherry-sama! (Remembers that she actually spent New Year's Eve babysitting her cousins and weeps softly) Smeg. Anyway, those poems were awful. Here's another kid panel for us to test them on! (Pushes the button on Cherry's machine that zaps her three cousins she was babysitting into the room) Hey guys! Tell me what you think of these poems! 

Zach: Are these poems about Toy Story? 

Caro-chan: No. 

Zach: Then I don't like them. 

Whitney: Pinchies! (Pinches Wufei) 

Wufei: OW!!

Duo: Buahahahahha!! Wufei got beat by a chibi!

Wufei: Shut up Maxwell.

Matteo:

Caro-chan: Whitney, be nice, we're guests! 

Hunter: Dawen! Dawen! 'Atch! (Plays with the Indiglo nightlight button on Caro-chan's watch) 

Caro-chan: It's unanimous, these poems suck! 'Bye, kids! (Zaps them back to Wisconsin) Sorry about that. ^_^* You still rule, Cherry-sama, keep on writing your awesome stories!! (Bows to Cherry, waves at Dilly, glomps Duo-sama and kisses him on the cheek, winks at Heero, then disappears in a poof of green smoke, taking Van-sama with her)

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Here have some tax forms.

Dilly: YES LOVELY!!!! BURN!!!

Matteo: Valwen Isilme writes,

Love the fic yet agian! Great stress relief for after all the Post and Pre X-mas rush ^^ (had a huge after x-mas crowd) *huggles Duo* Happy New Year Cutie!! and to everyone else too! ^^ but, um Cherry? Can you let Heero have his gun and send him on a mission to destroy all the Pokemon? *now has a phobia of Pokemon thanks to kids* All the kids wanted was pokemon *sniffles then snaps out of it* oh well! *hands everyone big bags of Pixi Stixs* If you want more ^^ Just ask!

Zechs: PIXIE STIX!! ^__^

Heero: Great. Now he's going to be hyper.

Zechs: DEMON EYES!!!!

Quatre: Whaa?

Trowa: Don't ask.

Matteo: Tenchi's Tenshi writes,

-looks at her name- Thats quite a tounge twister! I dare you to say my name 3 times fast! -giggles- Okay, as you can see by my name I'm a HUGE Tenchi Muyo fan and latly my friend Chris told me about Gundam Wing. I watched a few epoisides and got totally hooked! They are pretty cool! I'm very new at Gundam Wing so could you answer two questions for me oh-Queen Cherry Blossom-ruler-of-all-things-crappy? 1st, Is Trowa related to Noin? They look alike. Same hair stlye and all. 

Cherry Blossom: Actually I've been wondering if Trowa was related to Quatre's dad. I mean seriously, what is with anime and the unibang?

Trowa: …..

Matteo:

2nd, Wufei's hair is the same as Tenchi Masaki's! Did you steal my koi, Tenchi's hair stlye Wufei? -thinks- Or did my koibito, tenchi, steal your hair style?! Oh well, I just re-read all of these Crappy Poem Theaters and I really enjoyed them! I hope you write more! Go Dilly! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! -laughes- These poems are great! They could make even Kiyone laugh and she has no sense of humor! Okay then, I g2g! Bye! - signed, Tenshi Masaki, Tenchi's REAL koi!

Wufei: INJUSTICE! No one should have my hairstyle except ME.

Duo: You can say that again. One Wufei is enough.

Wufei: ::eyes narrow:: What was that?

Duo: Er…nothing Wu-man. Just talkin' to myself again.

Wufei: Thought so.

Matteo: mandy writes,

Heero: NO! No more second reviewers! Cherry's word processor can't handle the pressure!

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, how many pages are we up to Teo-chan?

Matteo: Uh…81.

Duo: Wow.

Quatre: No kidding.

Heero: How can you people like this idiotic program so much? 

Trowa: the don't like the program. They like to watch us get tortured.

Heero: Oh that helps a hell of a lot.

Cherry Blossom: Language!

Matteo:

hehehe i am reviewing again. get over it guys. cherry this is still the best. oh and when the kazooo union comes looking for Bob i suggest throwing heero to those wolves. and heero i ALMOST feel sorry for ya. but not really. those union organizers can be vicious at times. oh well cherrry i hope you have a great new year for writting. later

Quatre: There's a kazoo players union?

Trowa: Apparently.

Matteo: Treize & Co. write, 

(Zechs): *wearing nothing but a banner saying "Happy New Year" draped loosely around him* *singing, drunkenly, a bottle of champagne in his hand...a nearly-empty bottle* Should olllld...ac..*hic* quaintance...be..forget.....la la la la la laaaaaa!! (Treize): *twirls a noisemaker* happy new year, Miss Cherry! *gives her a New Years' rose* Apparently and unfortunately, you didn't get our review in time for the last installment. I would therefore like to again offer our services in this MSTing, so we can be with our Wu-sama. (Noin): *calling from kitchen* I saved him, you, and Matteo some cake! 

Cherry Blossom: Oooh cake! Real food! 

Wufei: As long as it isn't that disgusting red jello I'll eat it.

Matteo:

(Lady Une): I don't remember what personality I agreed to this in, but we all did agree...*looks at Zechs* and most of us were sober. So we'll join you guys, and if you want to have us in some of the other parts, I guess we'll do it...Ja ne, and good work!

Cherry Blossom: You guys can help me with the next one. My house is a mess today and I don't feel like cleaning up for company.

Duo: Hey! What do you call US?

Cherry Blossom: …victims.

Duo: __

Matteo: Black Tiger writes,

Looks at Heero"wanna hear my Fav song? don't worry I sing very good I have two record companys after me." Takes a deep breth and sings in a nice soprono voice"Joy to the world relena's dead I bbq'ed her head what happened to the body I flushed it down the potty. Ho,no the potty's clogged, Ho,no the potty's clogged, the potty is clogged with her big butt" bows after thunderous clapping died down.sits down on Heero's lap and frenches him for 40 min. 

Quatre: AH MY VIRGIN EYES!!

Duo: Give it a rest Quatre.

Matteo:

"*pant*gotta wright and tell Blue fire panther about this she'll wanna know." "my place 9:00 be thier" frenches him again " love ya Bye :hands Heero some keys:thies are the keys to my gun shelter.":gives Heero another set of keys:this is to the secret room where I hold my gundam if you wanna borrow it any time." Tiger wispers something in Heero's ear. Heero blushes but nodds, and kisses tiger on the lips.BT"HEERO YUY HAS THE CUTEST ASS AND I, BLACK TIGER, KNOW IT PERSONALLY!"Looks at a red Heero,"It had to be done to settel the argument. you still love me right?" gives Heero a 'I love you look'and Heero's heart melts and he nodds."I LOVE YOU TOOOOOOOO!"BT glomps Heero. gotta go bye !!!!~! Heero looks were BT was longingly.

All: O.o;;;

Cherry Blossom: ehem…moving along…

Matteo: Tyleet writes,

O_O By the High Ones. What the h*ll is a croodlin doo? 

Trowa: We don't know and we don't want to.

Matteo:

Poor, poor Heero Quatre and Trowa. I can't believe they had to listen to that crap. ::shudders:: You have my deepest sympathies. Here, some Pixie Stix for you guys. You need them. And I would steal a riffle from my Social Studdies teacher for Heero, but you'd only take it. (Don't ask, he likes to hunt. That's all I'll say) As for Duo and Wufei, keep them there. Forever and ever. ::evil laughter:: Am I the only person in the world who thinks Duo is the original Male Ditz? I think he gives us Americans a bad name. If that's how the Japanese see us... dear god. 

Cherry Blossom: Actually Duo's a better American then some of the one's I've met. Sorry but getting mugged in downtown Chicago wasn't my best experience. Excuse me if I'm not overly enthusiastic about Americans.

Matteo: 

(NOT YOU DUO. I would no sooner pray to you than a dead cooked cow. Keep in mind, I'm vegetarian) Cherry, Canada's great and all, but have you considered pscological help for your obsession? J/K ^_^ I like it too, even though I live in Ohio. I think I like Quebec best. 

Wufei: FROGS!

Quebeccers: Fermez la bouche!!! ::whaps Wufei with sticks::

Wufei: Ow…

Matteo:

Cherry, I love this. I was soooo happy when I saw the author alert in my mail. You rock. I worship the ground you walk on, oh Eternal Goddess ::bows at Cherry's feet:: Well, thanx for letting me come to the party!!! It was great, even though I have a headache. I dunno why. I only had some punch. well, great job!!!! Keep it up!!! Ja!!

Heero: Don't keep it up. Let it down. Chuck it!

Cherry Blossom: Just keep on digging the grave…

Heero: ::gulp::

Matteo: Quaxo The Dark writes,

*Cackles* Why is Quatre afraid of sheep? *Hands Quatre a flower* Very good! I love your work. I guess I should since you killed me. *Is still laying in the floor after dying laughing* I know I allready left a review to this fic.. oh well. Heh heh. MORE CRAPPY POEMS! Mwa ha ha ha ha!

Heero: …..

Duo: Doncha have anything to say about the twice reviewer?

Heero: I've given up. No one listens to me anyways.

Trowa: Good plan!

Matteo: The Great One writes,

Hies! I just wanna say that all the Crappy Poem Theaer eposodes were hillarious!! Poor g-boyz. Anyway HAPPY BELATED CHRISTMAS/NEW YEAR!! I was a little late. Presents for all!! *Tosses presents in random directions* *Watches as people open SEEMINGLY empty gift boxes* Ya see these presents aren't normal. Ya have ta think of a present to get it. As long as it's not harmful... Here! Watch! *Takes a box* *Looks thoghtful for a minute then opens it* Taa-Daa!! *Holds up cheese* Here. *Hands it to Trowa* *Digs in the box again* *Pulls out a Play Station game and gives it to Duo* *Digs in the box a third time* *Pulls out a sheep* 

Quatre: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Matteo:

*Quickly stuffs the sheep back in the box* Have fun thinking up gifts! *There is suddenly a loud pop and a grey tiger with black stripes appears* Tiger: Great One! You had your turn time to go! Great One: NO!! *Clings to Duo* Tiger: *Grabs Great One's foot* Great One....let go... TGO: No. T: *Yanks on foot* Let go. TGO: No! T: Let go! TGO: NO!! T: *Pulls TGO off Duo and begins draging her away* TGO: *Desperately trys to cling to someting but can't* Smeg.... *Is draged away*

G-Boyz: O.o;;;

Duo: Oookay… 

Matteo: kaoru writes,

i loved it!!

Trowa: I didn't.

Cherry Blossom: No one cares what you think.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Matteo: Tsuki Yuuki writes,

oi, Cherry-sama!! can i borrow ur calendar????? PLEASE!!!! ///^_\\\ *starts to sing a good ole Canadian song* land of the silver birch, home of the beaver, where still the mighty moose wanders at will, blue lake and rocky shore, i will return once more, boom-didi-boom-boom, boom-didi-boom-boom, boom-didi-booo~oo~oom; [next verse] high on a rocky ledge, i'll build a wigwam, uh...um...*sweatdrop* i can't remember any more. 

Wufei: Thank Nataku.

Quatre: I'd rather not.

Wufei: ::blinks::

Matteo:

u can zap me into the CPT any time u like, i would LOVE to be there for an episode. BTW, Ekaurii will DEFINETELY take good care of the G-Boyz. i would know, she's one of my best friends. and in real life, not just online. we met at Camp Geddie down in [Pictou County] Merigomish, NS. g2g. i have Christmas letters to write. yes, CHRISTMAS letters. i am a MAJOR procrastinator. ja ne!!! ~Tsuki P.S. PLEASE E-MAIL ME!!!!!!!!!!! PLE~EASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Um…I can't remember if I e-mailed you or not. Morphine…wearing off…sickness…clouding my mind…

Heero: quit faking to get drugs.

Cherry Blossom: ::deathglares::

Matteo: Elentari writes,

Yes, I too know the secret of multiple reviewing...sorry, guys. Anyways, the party was awesome. My relatives were really, really angry when I came in at like two in the morning, DRUNK..( Thanks a lot, Duo!) but they got over it. I feel almost sorry for Heero, I mean you turned his hair blue, made him wear a sparkly tiara, and won't give him any weapons. Poor Hee-chan! 

Heero: Pity me.

Matteo:

Well, I guess I should go now. *slips Duo a photo(which just happens to be the one with Wufei completly drunk and dancing on a table)* I just got it developed, and I don't think he remembers that..go ahead and remind him, ok? *snaps her fingers and disappears*

Duo: Buahahahahhhahahaha!!!!

Wufei: WHAT?! KISAMA!! GIVE ME THAT PHOTO!!!

Cherry Blossom: ::hides it:: Erm…what photo? ::blinks innocently::

Matteo: CLS writes,

*licks lips* luv the punch *goes chibi* don`t be mad at me pwease, isn`t my fault that dumb algebra teacher gave me too much homework to review last time ffffooooooorrrrrrrrrgggggiiiiiivvvveeeeee mmmmeeeeee!!!!!!! *jumps in and glomps Heero then jumps out* I wuuuvvv you Heero ^_~

Heero: Er…

Matteo: Kiyone writes,

Hehehe i never noticed how freaky children's poems were.... *shudders* children, ick... anywayz, CONTINUE THE HORROR!!! *mutters* even though it's torturing poor wittle Duo...ugh..the guilt...oh, well! ^_^

Duo: Yeah. Poor wittle me. ::goes chibi::

Millions of fangirls:: KAWAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!! ::glomp him::

Duo: Erk…

Quatre: Cherry…

Cherry Blossom: Sorry. Side effect to my sickness. ::zaps fangirls away::

Duo: ::reverts back to normal:: Ow…I think I cracked a rib.

Wufei: You should know better then to turn chibi around Cherry.

Matteo: Desperate Angel writes,

(This ~would~ be a signed review if I weren't feeling too damn lazy to sign in) ~hic~ Did you know that punch can be a dangerous weapon? S'true. Especially if Duo makes it. I guess that also explains what I saw in Wuu-man's bedroom eariler...though I'm still in shock 0.o 

Everybody: O.o

Wufei: Uh…I can explain…

Duo: Suuuuure.

Matteo:

*grins* Amazing! Give Cherry a beefcake calander and she'll let the G-Boys keep whatever you give her. I wonder what would happen if I gave her this tape I made of secret camera recordings of a certain G-Pair. Hmmm..... Anyway, that poem was weird. Almost as bad as the one I'm going to send you as soon as Lycos stops being a flatulant pain in the ass. Or if my ransom is met. Or maybe even if anyone can answer me these questions three.

Quatre: Ugh…no riddles. I'm too tired.

Matteo: Silversky writes,

*trying not to laugh, but it isn't working* these are hilarious..late merry christmas, and late christmas presents too! *gives Cherry-sama a mallet* ^_^ anytime anyone tries to escape..just whack 'em ^_^. *gives Heero a gameboy color and bomberman pocket* I stole it from my brother.. ^_^; have fun, he's not gonna miss it. *gives Duo chocolate flavored pocky* don't eat it all at once, okay? *gives Trowa a $50 gift certificate to the nearest bookstore* uh, just don't go too crazy..*gives Quatre a lifetime supply of various flavored tea* ^_^; *gives Wufei lots of martial arts movies* and last but not least.. *gives Matteo a lifetime supply of throat lasanges* so CPT can go on and on! happy new year!

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU(cough)(GAG)uuuurn(wheeze). Uh..can I borrow a throat candy Matteo?

Matteo: …no.

Dilly: ::raises flamethrower::

Matteo: On second thought, here! Take 'em all!

Dilly: Thanks.

Matteo: *~A White Rose Petal~* writes, 

::looks behind shoulder trying to hold in laughter:: my...mom...is...looking...at...me...strangely...must not...laugh... YEAH RIGHT!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...Anyway, new reviewer tingy or whatever, I have to review fast cuz' I have been cursed with a little brother ::Looks down at bro also known as ed...not Ed...ed:: AWRP: Get away from me you little dork! ed: But I wanna tell Heero there's a gun behind from you! AWRP: Cherry don't look at me like that... ::dissapears brfore Cherry can hur-I mean ZAP her away...::

Cherry Blossom: Dangit. I missed.

Duo: guess you're losing your edge.

Cherry Blossom: shut up.

Duo: Yes 'm.

Matteo: TrowasGirl writes,

Heero: __

Duo: Yeah, yeah we know.

Matteo:

Whoa lots of these reviews or getting so very long. Ohhh Cherry before I forget, here I got something for you *throws a box at cherry* Ummm.... its full of pictures of Zechs. If Noin happens to come by hide it. 99% of them come from her own private collection. *Looks at Trowa* Ok I've been up for a about a week without sleep and I've decided to Forgive Trowa. Sorry Teo-chan, at least you might be able to go to the Bahamas next week it all depends on Cherry. I am so tired. *Sits on Trowa's Lap and rest her head on his shoulder* Wake me up when the shows over. *Falls asleep in Trowa's arms*

Trowa: ……

TrowasGirl: Zzzzz…

Cherry Blossom: oookay….next!

Matteo: Dariana Night writes,

(in a very bad british accent)DN: 'ello mates! (Spike{from Buffy}walks up{and he's shirtless WHOO HOO!!})S: Don't use the accent any more luv (DN pouts then realizes what he said)DN: You called me luv!! *glomps him* (he attemps to bite her but her neck is just out of reach) S:Bloody 'ell! *DN grins* (looks back at G-boys) DN:oh sorry I got a new ummm "roomate" so I'll be leaving Wufei to the rest of the fangirls now but your still my fav Pilot (DN accidentaly puts her neck into Spike's biting range and he bites it) DN:Itai!!! (hits him) S: What? (he tries to look inoccent which doesn't look so innocent with the vamp mask on) (DN shakes her head and goes to put a bandaged on her neck) *muttering as she walks off* DN:Bloody vampire, If he wasn't so cute I'd stake him.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah Willie was always my favorite vamp. I like him better than Angel. He didn't brood as much. Plus his sense of humour is like mine ^__^

Trowa: Psychotic?

Cherry blossom: -_-

Matteo: Starblade (The **Original** Goddess of Death) writes,

wow...that was..um...interesting...*blinks* Punch is evil....I swear it...especially when tampered with by a certain braided baka..*looks at Duo* Oh well, that was great! But you really should have more poems...Reveiw corner IS fun to read but then there are so few poems. You need to torture those boys more. You're letting them off to easily. Oh, and before I forget....*whacks Quatre* DON'T USE MY WORD!!! SO NEER!! Ok, now that that's out of the way...um..just a question...what were those poets on when they wrote those poems? 

Heero: Morphine.

Cherry Blossom: That's enough out of you! ::gags him::

Heero: Mmph!

Matteo:

Cuz those made absolutely NO sense what so ever...those poets should be taken out into the street, tared, feathered, and shot....hmm..*gives Duo the tar, Quatre the feathers, and Heero the gun* go to town boys ^-^ heheh...anyway...um...don't ask what's up with all the lil dots...cuz I don't know...I'm just addicted to them...and pixies...and pocky....and sugar...and cookies...and muffins...and cheese too...but cheese is evil...as well as hulla hoops, skateboards, and light...darkness is SO much better...ne, Duo-chan?... hmm..Hey Wufei! Looks isn't that Nataku?! *points* *sticks a sticky paper on Wufei's back that reads,"I'm a justice freak, so kick me" while he looks* *smiles innocently and moves away before Wufei notices the paper* 

Duo: ::kicks Wufei::

Wufei: KISAMA!! WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!!

Duo: ::shrugs:: It's what the sign says.

Matteo:

ok..anyway..these fics are great. Absolute works of brillance. Keep up the great writing! Ja Ne Minna-san! *disappears in a flash of black light* *reappears again* Almost forgot something...could you PLEASE chibify the G-boys? PLEASE! They are SO kawaii as chibis and I think it'd be a lot more funny for them to be chibis. PLEASE?!ok..I'm done now...hope the next CPT is out soon! ^-^ JA Ne! *disappears in another flash of black light*

Duo: NO CHIBIS!!! NO CHIBIS!!!

Cherry Blossom: Despite the cuteness factor…it's kind of dangerous to their health. I'll think about it.

Matteo: Arcanite writes,

Okay Cherry, make me do it the hard way. **Hits Cherry over the head with a large skillet, grabs the G-boys, replaces them with Yuli from Ronin Warriors, Goku from DBZ, Serena from Sailor Moon, Ash from Pokemon(and I hope he's killed by the horrible poetry) and Davis from the Digimon 02 series(what I said for Ash) and teleports herself and the G-boys out. Also leaves several million dollars in cash for Cherry to make up for the loss of the G-Boys**

Cherry Blossom: Moneymoneymoeny!!! I'm riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich!!!

Matteo: But now we're stuck with these guys.

Goku: Hi! Are you aliens?

Cherry Blossom: ::sweatdrops:: No…

Davis: Cool! Lava Lamps!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't touch that—

(crash)

Davis: Oops.

Cherry blossom: ::sigh:: 

Matteo: Arcanite writes, 

Okay, I changed my mind. You can have the G-boys back, except for Duo. You can have Duo back if you let me be in the Crappy Poem Theater AND(not or) you give Heero his gun WITH PROPER AMMO! In other words, not just one bullet. Oh yeah, one more thing. **teleports Goku and Serena away and puts signs that say "Shoot Me" on Ash, Davis and Yuli** There. That's a good reason to give Heero more then one bullet!

Quatre: All this popping in and out gives me a headache.

Heero: Target practice….

Cherry Blossom: No. ::zaps the gun, Yuli, Ash, and Davis away and zaps Duo back into the room::

Duo: Smeg.

Cherry Blossom: I'm the almighty Goddess. We play by my rules here. ::evil grin::

Matteo: Goldberry writes,

Hahaha!! I'm reviewing again, and you can't stop me!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry.....I'm still feeling the effects of Duo's punch. *Glares balefully at him* I'd just like to tell Quatre that I hate sheep, too. And cows. And I'd also like to tell Heero that he is the bane of my existance. I hate you soooooo much, Heero. You think you're so cool don't you? Well, you suck. So there. Wufei is sooooooooo much cooler than you!! Ja ne!!

Heero: Omeo o korosu.

Cherry Blossom: What did I say about bashing? Dilly c'mere and torch this letter for me.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Pay attention. NO BASHING!!!! Thank you.

Matteo: Sasha Maxwell writes,

Hey Cherry-san! Hello, my dear husband, Duo! 

Everyone: O.o;;;

Duo: I have no idea I swear…

Matteo:

anyway, Nice work as always with your CPT. (hands out pocky to everyone) Why don't you just let Heero shot something...I'm sure he wouldn't shot you would ya Hee-chan? (kawaii puppy dog eyes) Either that, or he could shoot my Math Teacher...giving me homework for the holidays! Oh yeah. I'm from CANADA! AND PROUD OF IT! *ahem* See ya. Konnichi wa!

Cherry Blossom: CANA—

Heero: NO!

Cherry Blossom: …..

Matteo: Mistress Storm Crow writes,

Thunder clap bursts (not from sound effects), ligtning flashes, and a thin, blonde, figure emerges from a mass of dark clouds. She is reletively tall with deep, emerald green eyes and speaks with a haunting melodious voice which may bring any man under its spell* 

Cherry Blossom: Ooooh. I want one of those. ^__^

Matteo:

Greetings Miss Cherry Blossom, allow me to offer my congratulations on this masterful production you have created. *bows deeply* I, Mistress Storm Crow, Goddess of the Storm, most anxiously look forward to the next episode. I am also most impressed by the strength of you authoress powers. Perhaps, my friend, at one time you should have a sparring match with me so to test the writer against the storm *thunder sounds at Storm Crows command*. However, I my only concern is the trauma given to one I hold dear. I request that you are kind to Quatre, the mortal pilot who has endeared himself to my heart. The love of a goddess is not easily gained, but that love is pure as a summer rain. *turns to gaze at Quatre; continues speaking to Cherry* I must now embark on a quest to take revenge on evil poets and so as my departing gift, I shall grant a charm to protect him from the crappy literature. *casts spell and white light settles on Quatre and fades* Hopefully the charm will be strong enough to last through the next episode, as my mission is dangerous and I may not be able to aide him.*turns back to Cherry* I will definitly check in on your series for new target poets, and I thank you for both the aide to my purpose and the entertainment provided to me. I quite enjoy the torture inflicted upon the pilots, except of course to my beloved Quatre. Before I go, I must say I was quite surprised that you are unfamiliar with Nilla Waiffers *throws box to eack of the pilots, Cherry and Matteo* Enjoy the vanilla of the greatest cookie to be created. Until we meet again Cherry-samma. *to Quatre* Fare well my love. *Storm Crow is engulfed by dark clouds and fades away with a lightning bolt and a thunder clap*

Quatre: ::giggles:: Wow. I feel great!

Heero: Morphine?

Cherry blossom: Magic.

Heero: Oh.

Matteo: D.D.04 writes,

Hee hee hee! I tis me! You should give Heero his gun back in case Peacecrap makes another surprise appearence. *Shudders* Eek. Those were some crappy poems. Please tell me the authors are dead! 

Duo: If they aren't then I'll rectify the situation.

Wufei: Not if I get there first.

Matteo:

Oh yeah! *glomps on to Heero* Ha ha! *whispers* I got you a BIIIIIG gun hidden at my house meet me there after the show. *poofs out in puff of smoke leaving Heero a note with adress and says, 'Ha ha ha! We're going psychopathic stalker hunting later!'* Please don't torture Heero any more! He doesn't deserve it! Torture Wufei for all time! Gotta go! Byee! 

Wufei: Hmmph.

Duo: Let's face it Wuffie. You're just not a people person.

Quatre: I'll be your friend Wufei! ^___________________________^

Everyone: O.o;;;

Matteo: Kaori writes,

Drunk....definately drunk. 

Heero: Nope. It's drugs.

Trowa: It's euphorium.

Duo: The band?

Trowa: __ I'm surrounded by morons.

Matteo:

This has to be the best one yet!!

Wufei: I don't know about that.

Matteo: *Black Tiger* writes, 

(Thinking)*I wanna make Heero jealous*(goes and sits on Duo's lap)"Hi all!"(smiles sweetly)(heero gets pissed and tries to kill Duo."Mission complete!!!""here Cherry!(uses powes given to her by God and Lucifer to transport Zech to Cherry.while cherry's not looking slips Heero a gun "shoot me if you want to I'm not afraid to die so you don't shoot anyone else."Heero dosen't move."ok,Heero bye you missed your chance to shoot a new author I just finshed my first story yesterday"Flys off"bey cherry!~Black Tiger(^_~)#######

Cherry Blossom: ::takes the gun away:: Honestly people. Must you be so violent? Besides, killing someone should be much more creative then just…shooting them. You need a better method. Like poisoning… 

Matteo: Heero's Girl writes,

YEAH!!! exactly!!! everyone party down!!! *does a lil' dance* Those poems... *shudder* I feel terrible sorrow and pain for you G-boys!! *sniff* BUT... it is still funny. Especially Heero. Poor, Poor, Heero. You're my favorite!!!! *sniff* Here! have a cap gun. It makes a *bang* noise! =)and I also give you a dart gun with a relena dart board. *plants a kiss on Heero's cheek* *attempts not to faint* And QUATRE!!! enough with the innocent thing. I KNOW that you're not that innocent yourself!! *glances at trowa* *disappears into a puff of juice!!*

Duo: JUICE!!

Trowa: I don't know what she was implying…

Heero: Suuuure.

Matteo: mandy writes,

hey cherry if you really want to torture the boys do the canturbary tales its really long and boring. 

Cherry Blossom: I've read those…well, glanced through…okay I looked at the cover. Hey, my attention span is nill okay?

Matteo: DUO'S PURE SIDE writes,

Wufei: ::snicker:: I didn't know you had one Maxwell.

Duo: Hey!

Matteo:

Hi. Loved this CPT. By the way, WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT PUNCH?!

Duo: Rum! And vodka and tequila and all the other liquers that were in Cherry's closet.

Cherry Blossom: …..I have no idea what he's talking about.

Wufei: Yeah right.

Matteo: Hentaino Megami ( Goddess of Hentai ) AKA Lady Canturbury writes, 

Hello. You may call me Lady Canturbury. I do so love these CPT Madam Cherry. I really do like them. I hope they continue for a vast amount of time. 

G-Boyz: ::glare::

Matteo:

Do not look at me like that Pilots! I happen to like these MST. Go bugger off. So, my real reason for reviewing this CPT ( besides to tell you how good it was) is to give you, Madam Cherry, something. I'm leader of a group called Hentai Writers International ( HWI for short ). I did have a web page about it but it seems its not working right now! Bloody horrid internet access at my boarding school! ::sighs:: Anyway, as you can tell by our name HWI supports all hentai writers from all countries. I see your Canadian, Madam Cherry. I'm British. I live in Yorkshire. We have many people from all countries post on our site, british, canadians, americans, mexican, french, german, japanese, chinese, irish. You name it, their there! Well, on behalf of HWI I'm to present you an award. ::holds out a gold coloured little statue about the size of an american oscar. Its Treize, nude, with only a single rose he's holding, covering his hentai frontal parts.:: I, Lady Canturbury, present Madam Cherry Blossom and her muse Sir Matteo with this award. It it the first anunel "Best Hentai Author/Authoress" award. Take it in good health. ::hands her the award:: May you write fanfics for as long as your life should last. Long live Madam Cherry and CPT! 

Cherry blossom: ::weeps:: You like me! You really like me!! I'd like to thank my fans and family and (blah blah blah)

Matteo:

Now, if you excuse me, I must depart. I have to try and fix my website, and the headmisstress is stareing at me strangly. ::sigh:: Its just ruddy terrible going to an all-girl boarding school. Anyway, good bye. ::leaves with the bristish national anthem playing:: =signed, Lady Canturbury, Leader and webmisstress of HWI who's motto is " Citris,Lime and Lemons may be fruit to some, but to us there ways of life! " =

Cherry Blossom: Lookie! I got an award! Isn't it…shiney!

Heero: Hn…

Matteo: Our next review is from- ::girl walks in and cuts Matteo off. She has a bow and arrow slung over her back. She is VERY hot and looks VERY PISSED OFF:: 

Girl: Shut up Matteo! Its me, FORMALY Matteo's Koi. You can call me Ai. ::deathglare x infinity at everyone:: MATTEO! :: runs up to him, grabs his shirt coller and narrows her eyes:: You missed our wedding you bastard! You left me at the ALTER! HOW COULD YOU?! ::looks at g-boyz:: YOU GUYS DIDN'T SHOW UP EITHER! Matteo, how could you do this too your koi? I had everything ready. The church, my whole family was there, the food, the gown, tickets to France for our huneymoon... ::sobs:: WHY?! Why'd you leave me? Why didn't you show up?! 

Matteo: Heeelp meeee….

Girl: ::glares at him while he tries to make an excuse:: SHUT UP! YOUR WORSE THEN WUFEI! I don't belive how a sweet, lovable guy like you could of done this to me? ::sniffle:: Why? Don't you love me? ::Matteo tries to get out of her grasp:: YOUR NOT GOING ANYWHERE! ::a look of relization dawns on her beutiful face:: CHER! ::drops Matteo on the floor, causeing the reviews to go every which way. She turns to Cher:: YOU! You made him miss the happiset day of my life! You over-worked him! You wouldn't let him leave! YOU OBAN! ::takes out bow and an arrow, which iroically has a heart-shaped point. :: 

Duo: Cupid?

Wufei: Psycho.

Trowa: Don't you mean Psyche?

Wufei: No.

Girl: You proably didn't let the G-boyz leave either! ::aims for Cher's forehead:: You shall pay! ::tears stream down here face:: This arrow has the poison of a snake on it thats so powerful one drop of it can make a human's capularies EXPLODE! Do you want to experence that pain? It wouldn't compare to the pain I felt that day! I'm doing this for you Matteo! For you and our love! ::shoots:: 

Cherry Blossom: ::calmly zaps the arrow so it turns into a box of valentine's day chocolates:: Mmm…::munchs on one:: Caramel. My favorite. Security!

Treize the security hamster: ::pops in::

Cherry Blossom: Please escort our guest outside Treize dear.

Treize: ::grins, shows teeth, and then grips Ai by the butt and drags her outside kicking and screaming::

Matteo: ::sighs in relief:: 

Duo: ::whistles: You sure can pick 'em Teo-chan.

Matteo: Shut up. 

Cherry Blossom: Let's just move on shall we?

Matteo: Corra Mereel writes,

MUAHAHAHA!! That was too funny!! You must keep it up *deathglare at anyone who glares at me*, and stop tormenting Duo, he doesn't deserve it. He's too adorably cute to be punished like that!! Anyhoo, byee for now!!

Duo: Ya hear that? I'm CUTE! ^__^

Wufei: Matter of opinion.

Duo: : P

Matteo: Selenya writes,

Cherry, these things r AWESOME!!!!!!!! KEEP TORTUREIN' THE G-BOYZ!!!! Oh! since Heero shot the kazoo player, I know someone who'll play the accordian 4 free! ME! ^_^ Oh, and Heero can't kill me 'cause i'm invincible!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! I just had some chocolate covered coffee beans, can u tell? well, on a parting note, here r 50 kilograms of chocolate covered coffee beans for ya. That'll wake ya up! oh, and, CANADA AND CHEESE ROK!!!!!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! SUFFER G-BOYZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Trowa: Why? Why do they hate us?

Quatre: Just smile and nod Trowa. ^______________________^

Trowa: …..you're scaring me.

Quatre: ::sparkle:: ^__________________^ ::sparkle::

Matteo: Athena Winner writes,

(Cameo appearances from Athena Winner's older sister, Celestia Maxwell) 

AW: Hi, Cherry! How are you? I looooved this episode of CPT! It was kinda stupid (in a good way), too. 

CM: Don't say it's stupid! That's mean! *hands everyone yummy boxes of pocky* Here you are, all! Duo-chan, I love you! 

AW: *hands Quatre a valentine**says shyly* ....Happy early Valentine's Day, Quatre-chan. 

CM: Awww...How SWEET!!!!!! *hands Duo a valentine and a huge box of chocolate* Here you are, Duo-chan! I hope that I can come to one of your parties sometime! 

AW: Don't ask to be invited, that's rude! 

CM: Oh, I couldn't care less. Cherry Blossom-sama, it was hysterical! Keep up your brilliant work, kay? *throws all the G-boys and Cherry and Matteo more pocky* Oh, yeah! *Hands BIG valentine and chocolate box to Matteo* My muse, Moni-chan, wanted me to give this to you. I think she LIKES you! That makes two muses she hasa crush on. Anyway, must go! Bye! 

AW: Bye!

Matteo: Um..you're muse isn't a psycho like Ai was, right?

Trowa: Once bitten, twice shy.

Duo: Huh?

Trowa: It's a saying.

Duo: I never say it.

Trowa: You wouldn't.

Duo: And what's _that_ supposed to mean?

Matteo: Dark Angel writes,

Holy ! I'm the 67th reveiwer! 

Quatre: Wow. That's a lot of reviews. 

Cherry Blossom: No kidding. Hey, think we can make it to seventy?

Duo: You already have.

Cherry Blossom: Huh?

Duo: The new chaptering system.

Cherry Blossom: Oh yeah…that thing screwed me up! Now I have to combine all these CPTs and erase that old ones and everything!

Trowa: Poor you.

Matteo:

NEways, HIYA! I'm Dark Angel! And I'm here to say keep the boys locked there for all eternity! BUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*breathes*HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, and by the way, I have a question. What's pocky? You may think I'm insane, put I have never heard of pocky till I read your fics. 

Cherry Blossom: I'm planning to put up a page on my website that explains the mysteries of pocky for a you poor pocky deprived people. As soon as I'm finished my other fics.

Wufei: In other words, she'll never get to it.

Cherry Blossom: Shut uuuuuuup. I will so. ::pouts::

Matteo:

NEway, I think Cherry should be nicer to Matteo. I mean, making him wear those horrible outfits and reading those poems is just plain......plain.... Dark Angel's friend: Mean? Dark Angel: Nooooo.....it's me! Keep it up Cherry-san! Oh, and before I forget, I want to see more of Dilly!

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNN NNNN! 

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: ::gives him some ruse salesmen to fry:: Happy?

Dilly: BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA!!! BURN!!!!

Matteo:

K, gotta go! Ja ne!

Quatre: Ja! ^_________________________^

Heero: Stop that…

Matteo: And last but not least… Mako-chan writes,

Oh my God! I'm the 68th reviewer! Go Mako,go Mako, go Mako! NEwayz, I'm in tech class and I got bored so I thought I'd review! I'm minimizing the window every five seconds so my teacher doesn't see me. *minimizes window and looks like she's busy* *maximizes window again* Ok, cost is clear. Keep up the great work! And give Matteo a break will ya?! And be nice to Duo too. *glomps Duo* OKIluvyabuh-bye!

Wufei: YES! We're finished! No more Reviewer's corner!

Trowa: We still have the poems to do.

Wufei: Smeg.

Cherry Blossom: My fingers are cramping. Hey Teo-chan, what's the page ratio so far?

Matteo: 135.

Cherry Blossom: Shi~t. I need some sugar. Then I can do the rest. Hang tight guys. I'll be right back. ::disappears in search of snacks::

Heero: Quick! Maybe we can sneak out now!

Cherry Blossom: ::voice over:: Not bloody likely. Treize! Stand guard!

Treize: ::shows teeth::

Heero: Smeg.

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time) 

Scene…doesn't change at all since we aren't actually _in_ a theater and Cherry Blossom's got a kick @ss home entertainment system.

Cherry Blossom: I'm baaaaaaaaaaack! Buahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Wufei: Noooooooo! She's on a sugar high! We'll all be chibified!!!

G-Boyz: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't be silly. You won't be able to MST the poems if you're all chibi. Cue the disclaimer!!

****

Disclaimer: I don't own GW! I hate my job! I hate my life! I think I'll go stick my head in an oven!

Everyone: O.o

Cherry Blossom: Uh…I'm just going to lock the oven door…

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Exactly. Well…toady's poem was sent to me by a fellow torturer…Keoko! Yeah!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Aw stuff a sock in it. Anyway…I think the title is the weirdest thing about it. Let's jump right in…

Wufei: Let's not and say we did.

Trowa: Let's not even say we did.

Cherry Blossom: Quiet! Matteo! Read!

Matteo: ::clears throat::

****

THE LOTOS-EATERS

Duo: The what?

Heero: This is going to be bad. I just know it…

****

(1832)

Duo: Columbus sailed the ocean blue ^__^

Wufei: ::shakes head::

****

By Lord Tennyson

Duo: Hello Lord Tennyson. I'm king Duo.

Cherry Blossom: All bow down before King Duo!

G-Boyz: O.o

Duo: Thank you, thank you.

****

"Courage!" 

Wufei: "Justice!"

Duo: "Truth!"

Quatre: "Beauty!"

Trowa: "Hair products!"

Everyone else: O.o

Trowa: What?

****

he said, 

Quatre: Who said?

Cherry Blossom: Dunno.

Duo: ::feigns being on the edge of his seat:: Gee, I wonder…

****

and pointed toward the land,

Quatre: Didn't your mother ever teach you that it's rude to point?

****

"This mounting wave will roll us shoreward soon."

In the afternoon they came unto a land

In which it seemed always afternoon.

Cherry Blossom: Whaa?

****

All round the coast the languid air did swoon,

Heero: Air cannot swoon.

Duo: Poetic license.

Heero: It should be revoked.

****

Breathing like one that hath a weary dream.

Trowa: Uh huh and just how does someone who has a weary dream breath?

Duo: Like this. ::breathes heavily::

Cherry Blossom: Hentai!!! ::whaps him with her scythe::

Duo: Ow…

****

Full-faced above the valley stood the moon;

And like a downward smoke, 

Quatre: ::stares blankly:: A downward smoke?

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry. I don't get it either.

****

the slender stream

Duo: Lost a whopping 200 pounds just after one week on the Ultraslim diet shakes!! Buy now only $64 bucks a week plus shipping and handling.

Everyone: ::stare::

Duo: What? 

****

Along the cliff to fall and pause and fall did seem.

Heero: That could have really used some syntax…

Everyone: ::nods::

****

A land of streams! 

Cherry Blossom: CANADA!!

G-Boyz: O.o;;;

Cherry Blossom: Hey, we have a lot of streams!

****

some, like a downward smoke,

Trowa: Enough with the "downward smoke" already. We didn't like it the first time.

****

Slow-dropping veils of thinnest lawn, did go;

Cherry Blossom: Wait a minute…there's bits of LAWN dropping from the sky?

Duo: Scary… 

****

And some thro' wavering lights and shadows broke,

Rolling a slumbrous sheet of foam below.

Quatre: Is slumbrous a word?

Trowa: No.

Duo: How come poets get to make up words all the time?

Wufei: I'm making up a word for the poet—

Cherry Blossom: If there's bad language then we don't want to hear it.

Wufei: ….

****

They saw the gleaming river seaward flow

From the inner land: far off, three mountain-tops,

Three silent pinnacles of aged snow,

Stood sunset-flush'd: and, dew'd with showery drops,

Up-clomb the shadowy pine above the woven copse.

Trowa: That…made no sense.

Quatre: Um…I think a copse is like a clump of trees or something.

Duo: what about "Up-clomb"?

Quatre: Not a word.

Duo: Thought so.

****

The charmed sunset linger'd low adown

In the red West: thro' mountain clefts the dale

Was seen far inland, and the yellow down

Border'd with palm, and many a winding vale

And meadow, set with slender galingale;

Cherry Blossom: Galingale? Is that something like a croodlin' doo?

****

A land where all things always seem'd the same!

Heero: How boring.

Duo: No kidding.

Cherry Blossom: That would be Northbrook Pennsilvania. Nothing ever changes there. Trust me. 

****

And round about the keel with faces pale,

Dark faces pale against that rosy flame,

The mild-eyed melancholy Lotos-eaters came.

Wufei: What exactly is a lotos eater?

Duo: Someone who eats Lotos.

Wufei: Thanks for clearing that up.

Duo: No problem. ^__^

****

Branches they bore of that enchanted stem,

Duo: Heero's got one of those.

Everyone else: ::stare::

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!! ::whacks him with scythe::

****

Laden with flower and fruit, whereof they gave

To each, but whoso did receive of them,

And taste, to him the gushing of the wave

Far far away 

Wufei: Yes. Take this poem far far away. And don't come back.

****

did seem to mourn and rave

Duo: Rave! Yeah! Party!

Heero: Not that kind of rave, baka.

Duo: Oh.

****

On alien shores; 

Cherry Blossom: Aliens. Oooooooooh spooky!

****

and if his fellow spake,

Wufei: Spake?

Trowa: Spoke.

Duo: Spook! ^__^

Cherry Blossom: You guys are just too weird….

****

His voice was thin, as voices from the grave;

And deep-asleep he seem'd, yet all awake,

And music in his ears his beating heart did make.

Heero: Syntax!

Duo: Heero, just give up.

****

They sat them down upon the yellow sand,

Between the sun and moon upon the shore;

And sweet it was to dream of Fatherland,

Of child, and wife, and slave; 

Cherry Blossom: Ack! This poem is promoting slavery!! 

Quatre: Terrible.

Wufei: Dishonorable.

Duo: I say we lynch him.

Heero: I think he's already dead.

****

but evermore

Most weary seem'd the sea, weary the oar,

Weary the wandering fields of barren foam.

Then some one said, "We will return no more";

And all at once they sang, 

Trowa, Duo, and Wufei: More more bo-bore, banana fanna fo-fore! Me mi mo mo  
~re! More!

Cherry Blossom: Stop the insanity!

****

"Our island home

Is far beyond the wave; we will no longer roam."

G-Boyz: ::stare::

Duo: Whatever.

Cherry Blossom: There's a whole other long chorus part—

Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: But I don't feel good and my stomach can't take much more. So we'll leave it for another time. This episode was probably weak…

Wufei: Yes.

Cherry Blossom: ::glares:: I don't remember asking your opinion. 

Wufei: ::shrugs::

Cherry Blossom: But it's really hard to be funny when you feel crappy. And I'm sorry about the Valentine's Day episode that didn't happen. Maybe next week. When I feel better. 'Till then avoid red jello and have a nice day!

Matteo: Byee!!


	10. Crappy Poem Theater 10

Crappy Poems

Crappy Poem Theater

Slow zoom to a lemon shaped satellite orbiting the earth. Emblazoned on the main entrance door is a large pink Cherry Blossom flower, with feather quills crossed over it like a coat of arms. You enter the satellite to be immediately confronted by a strange recording of Masterpiece Theater Theme played on a kazoo. You step into the main room where you find a girl sitting on a deep red beanbag chair, smoking a pipe and reading a book.

Cherry Blossom: ::looks up:: Oh, hello minna! Welcome back to the Satellite of Cherry Blossom for……THE TENTH EPISODE OF CPT!!!!

::crash of thunder and lightening::

Cherry Blossom: ::sighs:: Teo-chan you were suppose to fix that…

Matteo: Sorry.

Heero: ::grumbles:: I can't believe I'm stuck here again. I though we got rid of her for good when she went to Europe.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, well you can't have everything.

Heero: More like I can't have ANYTHING.

Duo: Aw, quit your whining.

Heero: ::glares::

Snowgoggles: ::over the intercom:: We're running into some rough space out here. I've got a bunch of meteorites showing up on radar.

Cherry Blossom: Well do what you can to steer around them and I'll work on creating a shield of some sort. Don't worry. If worst comes to worse I can always zap us out of here.

Wufei: ::snorts:: Yeah, like _that_ makes us feel really comfortable.

Cherry Blossom: ::glare:: Hush, or I'll sic Jez on ya. ::points to the lethal looking cat the size of a German shepherd with a red stripe up the middle of her forehead::

Jez:: ::licks her lips::

Wufei: ::backs away, slowly:: Aheh heh…nice Jezebel…good kitty…

Cherry Blossom: Anyway…let's go right to Reviewer's Corner!

Reviewer's Corner

Vid-cam zooms in on Cherry Blossom sitting at a desk with Matteo with a whole lot 'o letters spread around them. The G-Boyz are sitting beside the desk in comfy leather chairs stolen from Grand and To….uh….someplace.

Cherry Blossom: Since I've been getting these awful cramped fingers from writing out all these reviews and since Teo-chan's throat has been really sore lately…

Matteo: ::downs some Halls::

Cherry Blossom: I've decided to put all the reviews into a draw and pick which ones get aired on the show randomly.

Trowa: You know, if people would just stop reviewing we wouldn't have this problem…

Cherry Blossom: ::whaps him with the back of her hand:: Shaddup clown boy!

Trowa: …ow…

Cherry Blossom: Bring out the hat!!!

Matteo: ::brings out an ugly looking felt hat with a faded blue ribbon tied around it. The rustle of paper can be heard from inside::

Cherry Blossom: ::sticks her arm in the hat. It disappears to about shoulder length before she pulls it out and brings forth the letter::

Matteo: Our first reviewer is TrowasGirl who writes… 

Hi! How's everyone doin'? Hey lookie Cherry I got my own zapper! *Zaps in a huge crate of Pockey* Cool eh? I got it for my Birthday! *Suddenly Looks mad* Hey none of You showed u for my Party! Blah! and it was a month ago! 

Cherry Blossom: Uh…sorry but, the Pope wanted my advice…you know how it is.

Trowa: ::rolls eyes::

Cherry Blossom: And don't you say anything!

Whatever! *Zaps everyone by a huge pool, with nice comfy chairs by the edge* Dosn't it look nice here? Well i gotta Go! Buh Bye! Oh Yeah *Slaps Wufei For the H.E.L.L Of It* Sorry Wufei! Just so Tempting!

Wufei: ONNA!! YOU SHALL PAY FOR THIS INJUSTICE!!!!

Duo: Whoa, just chillax Fei.

Quatre: Chillax?

Duo: Yeah, mellow out, cool down, take a chill pill, be smooth, have a java, take a ride on the slow train, do the easy breezy…

Everyone: O.o;

Duo: ^__^

Cherry Blossom: Yeah…next letter!

Matteo: Dark saviour writes, 

I don't really like reviewing 

Quatre: ::gasps:: No!

but this was sooo funny I nearly fell of my chair. But now my arm hurts. 

Duo: My heart bleeds for you as we speak. No really, it does! Look at the blood!

*sigh* I like everyone except heero. Muhahahaha

Heero: Is that supposed to be funny?

Trowa: Now, now Heero. Maybe if you just try a little harder you'll have fans one day too.

Heero: Trowa, omeo o korosu!

Cherry Blossom: Guys, it's too early for this. 

Matteo: Neo Queen Serenity of the Luna writes,

funny funny funny

Cherry Blossom: Short, efficient, to the point.

Duo: But where's the imagination?

Heero: I like it.

Duo: You would.

Matteo: Goldberry writes, 

YAY!!! CHERRY'S BACK!!! I missed you, Cherry-chan!! And the G-Boys, too!! Here, have some pocky!! Oooooooh, I'm so happy!! Yay!!

Cherry Blossom: ::scarfs pocky:: Oh yeah, that's the stuff right there.

Duo: I declare this Pocky Party Day. Where's there's pocky, there's a party!

Matteo: Tina says, 

YOU......ARE A GENUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE ALL YOUR STORIES!!!! HOW DO YOU EVER COME UP WITH THESE THINGS?????!!!!!!!

Wufei: Onna! Control yourself!

Cherry Blossom: All the poems I have MSTied I must give credit to the poor fools who wrote them. This program would not exist without their crappyness.

Trowa: And wouldn't that be a tragedy.

Duo: Starting early today, aren't ya Tro-man? 

Matteo: Ryuuko Megami writes,

you continually amaze me with the crap people write... *walks out dazed*

Quatre: I know just how you feel.

Matteo: Aisha writes, 

I LOVED THIS!!!!!! You've gotta write more!!!!!!! You've gotta make the Gboys suffer through more!!!!!!!! TORTURE!!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wufei: Sadistic onna!

Heero: Oh will we never be free?

Cherry Blossom: nope ^__^

Matteo: Next is Chaos Earth who writes,

CPT Rules! *~Chaos is forever. . .*

Duo: ::confused:: But I thought diamonds were forever.

Heero: Baka. That's just a stupid ploy used by the advertising companies to sucker poor husbands into giving their girlfriend's diamonds.

Duo: Does it work? 

Cherry Blossom: ::hides her diamond eternity ring and pendant set:: Uh…no.

Matteo: Thunder Dragon writes,

Wow I finally got the guts to review! I've read every chapter of CPT even the one cleckmoon did and I love them all! U rule Cherry Blossom - Matteo - and of course you rule to Wufei!

Wufei: ::preens::

Heero: ::rolls eyes::

Matteo: CIM wtites, 

Walking away with too much information... 

Duo: Don't you just hate it when that happens?

Matteo: Lady Lye writes,

LOL! Luved it as always!! *Lady looks @ Trowa* Poor guy... You're the smartest one here, aren't you? 

Wufei: ::chokes:: Barton?!! The smartest one here?!! You must be joking.

Trowa: ::glares::

*gives him a sympathy hug- it's ok, TrowasGirl! Nothin like that!* But

CCHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! It's MAY! MAY, I tell you!! 

Duo: Uh…actually it's June.

Cherry Blossom: It is? Damn.

This las chp is from FEB! *tearfully* How did this happen? Only one solution- write more! Quickly! O yes... Lotus Eaters are from- THE ODYSSEY!!! *thunder & lightning in background* You REALLY outta do that one... It'd be SOOOO funny. Course, I don't actually recall just whut the lotus eaters did... *pops out to check sparknotes.com* Damn. Didn't find it. I do remember that it was VERY related to drugs tho...

Heero: ::nods wisely:: It's all about the drugs.

Wufei: How the hell would you know?

or mebe that wuz just the symbolism... Hey, who needs morphine when you're a fanfic author w/ pocky? *smile* O yes- to make Cherry feel better IMMEDIATELY and write another chp- *reaches into cyber-space and retrieves her personal copy of Zechs (this is just the easiest way to make every1 happy... I hav a copy of Zechs, you have a copy of Zechs, and we can both do whut we like witht hem) He's dressed in a very sexy outfit, unbuttoned shirt etc.* Lady: Now DANCE! 

Zechs: No, please... 

Lady: C'mon I've been nice to you so far! I'm not making the boys dance cuz I already hav a whole fanfic of that and besides, Cherry likes you best. 

Zechs: *takes a deep breath. We're all zapped to Lady's Karoke Bar and the music for 'I'm too sexy' begins to play* I'm too sexy for my mask/ too sexy for my mask/ and too sexy for my ass/ I'm a pilot/ you know what I mean/ and I do my little turn on the catwalk/ yeh on the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah/ I shake my little tush on the catwalk. *he runs away, terribly embarrassed. Lady allows Cherry to pull him back and hang onto him for a few hours.* 

G-Boyz: O.o

Quatre: Scarred for life.

G-Boyz: ::nod::

Matteo: This feel like déjà vu to anyone else here?

Cherry Blossom: ::cuddles her sexy Zechsy:: Thanks Lady!

Lady: Your welcome. *looks pointedly @ the boyz* ANybody else want to sing that again? I can do that, ya know. *enjoys seeing them back away in fear* Anywayz, Luv this stuff, Cherry! Feel better! Write more soon!! -Lady

Matteo: Next is Lady Serena who writes, 

Konnichiwa! Er... Long time reader, first time reviewer. My bad? I need to atone don't I? 

Duo: Yup.

*throws pocky all around**blows kisses to the G-boys, Teo-chan, and Dilly**throws Dilly her used ACT study guides and old fic outlines**smuggles in some morphine for Cherry-chan* Knock yourselves out! Hmm... Croodlin' doo... croodlin' doo... *mutters* I'd like to croodle Trowa's doo... 

Heero: O.o

Duo: O.o

Quatre: O.o

Wufei: O.o

Cherry Blossom: O.o

Matteo: O.o

Trowa: ///_-

O.o! *whacks herself* Bad Serena! .

Wufei: I should say so! Hentai onna…

Matteo: Uh…Duck-K writes, 

~singin~ Duck Duck bo-buck bannana fana fo fu- ~realizes where this is going...~ Ummmm... yeah.... Ex-cellent fic Cherry! CPT & MTS-ing ROCKS! But CANADA ROCKS MORE! GO Canada! 

Cherry Blossom: You know Canada Day is coming up soon. We'll have to do a special CPT.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go every province in Canada except my baka home province of Alberta. So there Ralph K. HAHAHAHA! ~Looks back at review~ Yeah..... ANYWAYWRITEMORE. The supreme master of Duckness herself commands it. (Oh, BTW, Dilly, BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!! 

Dilly: ::pops in with a nice flamethrower:: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: ::tosses him her overdue library fines:: Here, knock yourself out.

*the fines frrrrrrrry*

Cherry Blossom: He's just so damn useful.

He he. GO crappy poety. 

Heero: Yeah go. Far away from here.

Duo: O.o Heero made a joke…

Quatre: Scarred for life—

Wufei: Oh will you stop that! 

Matteo: blue blue rhythm writes, 

Poor, Poor Hee-chan

Heero: Pity me.

Duo: We already do, trust me.

Heero: -_-

Duo: ^__^ 

Matteo: Lyssa writes, 

*Mmph*...*Mmph*...

Trowa: Don't try to keep it in, you'll hurt yourself.

Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!

Trowa: There you go.

Matteo: Rebecca the Great writes, 

Oh my. O_O; This is stating the obvious, but you have LOTS of reviews, dearie. 

Quatre: No shit sherlock. ::claps a hand over his mouth:: Where did _that_ come from?

Duo: Ya know, this _does_ feel like déjà vu.

So I'll keep this short. ^_~ I loved it! Wonderfully funny - ::pauses to beat back her brother with a stick:: 

Wufei: Back evil sibling from HELL!!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't knock the evil siblings from hell. I am one ^__^

- and I haven't got much time. My dear brother is stealing the computer from me again. And I've got a secret :: leans in conspiratorily:: I'm a closet hippie too! ^_^ Bye!

Heero: Noooo! They're taking over!

Matteo: And the last review for today is from…Treize & Co. 

Wufei: ::dryly:: Ah yes. What would Reviewer's Corner be like without the input of _that_ group? 

Cherry Blossom: Please keep in mind that Treize's letters are often rated R…for RACY. All impressionable young otakus should leave the room now.

Matteo: Trieze and Co. write,

(Trieze:)*blinks* A land where everything is always the same? How.......boring! Ah well, it appears it is our turn to help mock the next criminally horrendous poem. *hands her a rose* I look forward to being with you, Lady Cherry. *smiles at Wufei* And you, my Dragon. 

Wufei: ::inches towards the exit, then remembers that they're in the middle of space:: Smeg!

(Zechs:)Yeah, with Noin busy, looks like I'll have to have you, Cherry-chan! 

Cherry Blossom: ::smiles and blows a kiss::

(Une:)By the way, what IS Noin doing? 

Trowa: I have a feeling we don't want to know.

(Noin:)*voice coming from behind a closed and locked door* Oh god! God, yes! Hilde!! Oh my god! Ah! Ah! Ah! (Hilde:)*from behind door as well* DUUUUOOOOO!!!! *screams which could either be of pain or pleasure, or both can be heard* 

G-Boyz: O.o

Wufei: ::nosebleeds::

Cherry Blossom: O.o

Matteo: O.o

Quatre: Scarred for life…

Trowa: I _told_ you we didn't want to know.

(Zechs:).......O.o..... 

(Treize:).............*raises eyebrow*..... 

(Une:)......that's just KINKY......

Duo: How come they always scream MY name?

Everybody else: O.o;;;

(Trieze:) *Ahem* Well, apparently Noin is occupied for the time being with Hilde, but perhaps they shall join us later....I look forward to it, Cherry!

Cherry Blossom: Well come on over baby and get ready to do some MSTing!! Whoo hoo!

G-Boyz: ::groan::

Cherry Blossom: Where's the enthusiasm?

Matteo: It left with the kazoo player.

Cherry Blossom: ::sigh:: 

Jezebel: ::purrs and cuddles up next to Cherry's chair::

Cherry Blossom: Well let's get to it! 

Snowgoogles: We got CRAP-SIGN!!!!

Duo: ::begins to freak out and run amuck as the theater doors open::

::door sequence::

(5) A manhole. You take off the cover and slide down into the next room.

(4) A rose garden. You pick a rose and continue on your way.

(3) General Septum. You ponder the fact that he's not dead since you _know_ that Une killed him in the earlier episodes but then decided that it doesn't matter since you kill him again with your scythe anyway.

(2) A rubik's cube. You try to figure it out but get frustrated and throw it at the wall which opens up to reveal…

  1. A tapestry displaying a scene of all five gundams standing beside their respective pilots under the full moon. You pull it aside and enter…

The Theater

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Cherry Blossom: Well here we are.

Duo: ::looks woozy:: I think I'm gonna be sick.

Cherry Blossom: Not on this carpet you won't!

Treize: I must say that was an interesting ride.

Wufei: ::"eeps" and jumps away from Trieze:: What are _you_ doing here?

Trieze: Mistress Cherry invited me. ::hands her a rose::

Cherry Blossom: That's right. Be polite Wufei.

Wufei: POLITE?!

Lady Une: Is there an exit to this theater?

Heero: ::unhappily:: No. Believe me, I've looked.

Zechs: Do we at least get popcorn?

Cherry Blossom: ::jumps into Zechs' lap:: Zechsy!

Zechs: ::blushes:: Uh…

Cherry Blossom: You can have all the popcorn you want. ::zaps him up a box::

Duo: ::pouts:: Where's my popcorn?

Trowa: Let's just get on with it. I don't want to be here longer then I have to be.

Cherry Blossom: Fine with me. Matteo! Roll the first poem! 

**__**

What is Liquid?

Trowa: Ah, the question that has been plaguing mankind for centuries.

Quatre: This is going to be bad…

Duo: Who writes this crap anyway?

**__**

By: Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle

Wufei: Well that answers your question.

Trieze: ::shakes head:: I would have thought that people of noble birth would have better things to do than write crappy poetry.

Duo: Well you were wrong. 

**__**

All that doth flow we cannot liquid name

Duo: Why not?

**__**

Or else would fire and water be the same;

Quatre: But fire doesn't flow. It—

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

Quatre: …yeah.

**__**

But that is liquid which is moist and wet

Duo: ::opens mouth::

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!!!

Duo: ::closes mouth:: You never let me have any fun.

**__**

Fire that property can never get.

Heero: ::sighs:: The syntax is killing me…

Zechs: I wondered what it would take to do that.

Heero: ::glare:: 

**__**

Then 'tis not cold that doth the fire put out

But 'tis the wet that makes it die, no doubt. 

Trieze: ::pause:: That was stupid.

Duo: You're catching onto the way this whole things work aren't cha, Trieze? 

Cherry Blossom: Next poem!

Matteo: It's a long one.

Everybody: ::groan::

**__**

To a Young Ass 

Wufei: Well what do you know? It's about you, Maxwell.

Duo: _

**__**

its mother being tethered near it

Une: And we care…why?

**__**

By: Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Duo: NOOOOOOOOO! Not that guy!

Quatre: Do you know him Duo?

Duo: …no. But does it matter?

Quatre: Guess not.

**__**

Poor little foal of an oppressèd race!

Cherry Blossom: Power to the mules!!! Hell no, we won't go!

Heero: -_- I don't know her.

**__**

I love the languid patience of thy face:

Une: I wouldn't exactly describe a mule's face _that_ way. 

**__**

And oft with gentle hand I give thee bread,

And clap thy ragged coat, and pat thy head.

Cherry Blossom: I have the feeling he's just going through the motions now.

**_

But what thy dulled spirits hath dismayed,
_**

That never thou dost sport along the glade?

Duo: Well maybe it's a lazy ass.

Cherry Blossom: ::whaps him:: Watch your language!

Duo: What? What'd I say?

**__**

And (most unlike the nature of things young)

That earthward still thy moveless head is hung?

Duo: Yeah hung like a—

Cherry Blossom: ::glares::

Duo: …mule. What? What'd you think I was gonna say?

**_

Do thy prophetic fears anticipate,
_**

Meek Child of Misery! thy future fate?

Zechs: For God's sake it's a DONKEY! Who gets melodramatic over a donkey?

Treize: Apparently, Samuel Coleridge does.

**_

The starving meal, and all the thousand aches
_**

"Which patient Merit of the Unworthy takes"?

Quatre: Why's that last line in quotations?

Cherry Blossom: Dunno. Maybe he's talking outloud to himself.

Heero: Sure sign of insanity.

**_

Or is thy sad heart thrilled with filial pain
_**

Duo: What does "filial" mean?

Quatre: ::pulls out dictionary:: Um…obedient.

Une: Obedient pain?

Wufei: Don't you just hate those disobedient pains?

**__**

To see thy wretched mother's shortened chain?

Duo: Hey! Don't talk about my mom that way!

Trowa: But you're an orphan.

Duo: ::blushes:: Oh yeah…

**__**

And truly, very piteous is her lot --

Chained to a log within a narrow spot,

Cherry Blossom: SET THE DONKEY'S FREE!!! MWAHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHA!!!!!

Heero: She's cracking…

**_

Where the close-eaten grass is scarcely seen,
_**

While sweet around her waves the tempting green!

Zechs: Uh…sure…

**__**

Poor Ass! 

Wufei: ::opens mouth::

Duo: Don't you dare say a word!

Wufei: ::closes mouth::

**_

thy master should have learnt to show
_**

Pity -- best taught by fellowship of Woe!

Trowa: Riiiiight.

**_

For much I fear me that He lives like thee,
_**

Quatre: ::confused:: Wha?

**__**

Half famished in a land of Luxury!

How askingly its footsteps hither bend!

Duo: Oooh, not only do the footsteps bend, they bend _hither_.

Heero: Someone's on an acid trip.

**__**

It seems to say, "And have I then one friend?"

Une: I'm sorry but with a poem like this, you have no friends.

**__**

Innocent foal! thou poor despised forlorn!

I hail thee Brother -- spite of the fool's scorn!

Duo: ::snickers:: Ha! His brother's an ass!

Cherry Blossom: I can relate…

**_

And fain would take thee with me, in the Dell
_**

Of Peace and mild Equality to dwell,

Une: Well whoopdy-freaken' doo.

Trieze: ::quirks eyebrow::

Une: ::blushes:: I'm sorry sir. It's just the poems…

Trieze: I quite understand my dear lady. 

**_

Where Toil shall call the charmer Health his bride,
_**

Duo: Health you charmer you, snatching up the bachelors…

**__**

And Laughter tickle Plenty's ribless side!

Duo: Speaking of which… ::tickles Heero::

Heero: NO! Stop…heheh…you…ahah…s-stop…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAAHAHA!!!!!

**__**

How thou wouldst toss thy heels in gamesome play,

And frisk about, as lamb or kitten gay!

Quatre: Leave the homosexual kittens alone, dammit!

Everyone else: O.o

Quatre: ::blushes::

**_

Yea!
_** Wufei: I see nothing to cheer about.
**_and more musically sweet to me
_**

Thy dissonant harsh bray of joy would be,

Trowa: Guy's got weird taste in music.

**_

Than warbled melodies that soothe to rest
_**

The aching of pale Fashion's vacant breast!

Duo: ::open's mouth::

Everyone: NO BAKA HENTAI!!!

Duo: ::glares:: Sheesh, I wasn't gonna say nothing. You guys are so uptight…

Cherry Blossom: That should do for tonight. 

::doors open::

Duo: All right!! ::runs like a bat out of hell::

Cherry Blossom: ::pouts:: You don't have to be so enthusiastic about it.

-SOCB-

Treize: Well that was certainly…interesting.

Zechs: ::looks ill:: That's not quite how I would put it.

Cherry Blossom: Here's some pocky to soothe the pain. ::distributes the magic snack::

Duo: ::dives on the pocky:: GREAT!! I was starving!

Heero: ::rolls eyes:: Baka.

Cherry Blossom: Well, see you guys next time.

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

::room shakes a bit knocking Cherry over into the arms of Zechs::

Heero: What the hell?

Cherry Blossom: Not that I mind at all Snowgoogles, but what was that?

Snowgoogles: Just a little turbulence. I think the shield needs a bit more juice.

Cherry Blossom: No prob, just give me a sec to get my zapping finger ready…

Trowa: Oh no…

Cherry Blossom: Relax, I had it fixed. It works perfectly now, trust me.

Trowa: ::flatly:: I feel so much better.

Cherry Blossom: ::glares at Trowa, then makes a little motion with her finger and red sparks fly from the tip:: There, that ought to do it.

::the shaking stops::

Cherry Blossom: See? Nothing bad happened.

Wufei: AUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! MY PANTS!!! THEY'RE PINK!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Aheh heheh…bye bye! ::dashes off::

Wufei: COME BACK HERE ONNA!!!

Cherry Blossom: Sic him Jez!

Jezebel: ::growl::

Wufei: Uh oh…

Matteo: ::sigh:: Just review. And send crappy poems to [chibicherryb@hotmail.com][1]

Wufei: Bad kitty! No! AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Serves ya right.

::zoom to outside the satellite which floats peacefully along, unlike it's inhabitants.:: 

   [1]: mailto:chibicherryb@hotmail.com



	11. Crappy Poem Theater 11

Crappy Poem Theater 

Crappy Poem Theater

Slow zoom to a lemon shaped satellite orbiting the earth. Emblazoned on the main entrance door is a large pink Cherry Blossom flower, with feather quills crossed over it like a coat of arms. You enter the satellite to be immediately confronted by a strange recording of Masterpiece Theater Theme played on a kazoo. You step into the main room where you find two boys sitting across from each other around a small card table.

Wufei: …..

Duo: ……

Wufei: ……

Duo: ……

Wufei: ::bites lip::

Duo: ::grins serenely::

Wufei: ::fiddles with his cards, a bead of sweat rolling down his cheek:: Um…

Duo: Yes?

Wufei: Got any…threes?

Duo: Go fish.

Wufei: _

Duo: ^__^

Wufei: ::draws a card:: Curses! This was _not_ what I needed. 

Duo: So sorry Wu-man.

Wufei: Just take your turn Maxwell.

Duo: Hmm…got any sixes?

Wufei: ::smugly:: Go fish.

Duo: ::draws a card:: Yeah! Would you look at that! A six! Just what I wanted. ^__^

Wufei: Injustice! You cheat Maxwell!

Duo: I do not! You're just a sore loser. : P

A group of people walk into the main room.

Quatre: Hey guys! What's up?

Duo: ::grins:: I'm beating the pants off of Wufei in cards.

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!! He cheats horribly!

Cherry Blossom: I understand Wufei. My Grandmother cheats horribly in cards too.

Heero: So what's our list of torture for today? A little bondage and then some horribly trite love poems?

Duo: You're getting rather blasé about all this, aren't you Heero?

Quatre: Actually he's drunk.

Cherry Blossom: What?!

Trowa: Rum cake. It came in the mail. I think it was one of the fans…

Heero: I have no idea to what you are referring to Wufei.

Trowa: I'm Trowa.

Heero: Right. Sorry Quatre.

Trowa: I'm _Trowa_.

Heero: ::irritated:: Yes, I know. You told me that, Duo.

Trowa: ::opens mouth:: I…nevermind. Whatever. Can we get this over with?

Cherry Blossom: Sure. Oh Jezebel! Would you bring me the Hat O' Reviews, please?

Jezebel: ::appears with a rather tattered and ugly hat between her teeth:: Mrww…

Wufei: Aagh! Get that…that BEAST away from me!!

Duo: ::snickers:: Aw, is Wufei scared of the big nasty kitty cat? Don't worry Wuffers I'll protect you.

Wufei: Shut up Maxwell.

Heero: Heheheh. Wu~ffers. Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooofers. Woof. Heheheheheh.

Trowa: ….Is he going to be like that the entire episode?

Cherry Blossom: ::shrugs:: 

Trowa: O.o;;

Matteo: ::trying to get the hat away from Jezebel:: Er, nice kitty…just give me the—yipe!

Jezebel: ::snaps her teeth at the muse::

Cherry Blossom: That's not the way you do it. Here, watch me. ::holds up a stick of pocky:: Get the pocky girl! Go on, get it!! ::throws the stick away::

Jezebel: ::drops the hat and runs after the pocky::

Cherry Blossom: See?

Matteo: -_-;; Just give me the damn hat.

Heero: Ooh, somebody's snarky today. 

Matteo: Shut up Hee…Heero?

Heero: ::giggling in a scary way::

Matteo: …I'll just read the reviews now…

Other pilots: ::inch away from the giggling Wing pilot::

Matteo: The first name out of the hat is…..T.K. Sakura! She writes:

__

Heero, Wufei, don't worry I still love you... even if it seems that your fans and co-workers have turned against you. 

Wufei: Justice needs no pity!!!!

Duo: Yeah, whatever.

Heero: ::still giggling::

Matteo:

__

I would hug you but you'd probably beat the crap out of me. 

Wufei: Damn right.

Quatre: Wufei! Be nice to the reviewers.

Wufei: Why? They're the ones who are causing this parade of poetry to continue.

Quatre: ….good point.

Matteo:

__

Quatre, I'm sorry you are scarred for life... but anything for a laugh. Cherry Blossom...YOU ROCK! I would say more but my own muse is calling. Sayonara!

Cherry Blossom: Ah, the call of the muse. Much like the call of Nature. Annoying and never when it's convenient.

Matteo: Hey!

Duo: Ah, don't act like you didn't know she was going to say that.

Matteo: ::pouts:: The next reviewer is ::digs around in the hat::…..Tami, who says: 

__

Heh heh heh. These get better and better. Ahh but the poor g-boys! You're all kawaii and have cute as....*sees mum glaring over shoulder* butts. 

Duo: Good save.

__

I love you all! You know who you should torture with these? 

Trowa: The Pope! It's the Pope right? Tell me it's the Pope!

Quatre: Have you been into my tea again?

Trowa: ….no.

__

The pokemon trainers.....eww... Well I have to go.. See you later! And Quatre-kun, tell Wufei that onna is getting over used. 

Wufei: Onna shall never be overused as long as there is JUSTICE!!!

Cherry Blossom: Come on everybody! Let's sing the Onna Song!

Everybody except Wufei: ::groans::

Jezebel: ::growls::

Everybody: ::smiles and starts to sing, very off-tune of course…along with kazoo accompaniment::

Everybody is an onna!

Especially those with no justice!

There is a lot of evil in the world

But you can remedy this affliction

Just…

Follow Wufei! (Justice)

Worship Wufei! (Justice)

Obey Wufei! (Justice)

And you shall never be an onna

(onna onna onna onna onna)

Don't be afraid to fall at his feet!

Just pledge allegiance to Nataku!

And pull your hair into a really tight ponytail

Until you have a much needed face lift

Just…

Follow Wufei! (Justice)

Worship Wufei! (Justice)

Obey Wufei! (Justice)

And you shall never be an onna

(onna onna onna onna onna)

Wufei: ONNA!

Millions of angry looking girls suddenly pop into the room, glaring at Wufei.

Wufei: Uh…er…

Angry girls: Get him!! ::tackle Wufei::

Wufei: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Whoopsie! There goes my zapping finger again. How silly of me. ::zaps the girls out:: Sorry 'bout that Fei.

Wufei: ::bloody and beaten:: X . X

Cherry Blossom: Would you please continue, Matteo-dear?

Matteo: O.o…uh…sure…

__

LOVE YOU ALL! *kisses!* *Paper falls down reading: Treize: assassination plot.* Uh....*grabs paper* JA NE!

Duo: ::in dramatic voice:: The Trieze Assassination…does this seem like déjà vu to anyone else?

Cherry Blossom: Who cares? Next!

Matteo: Uh…Ignacia writes,

__

(Continuation of last review.) 

Quatre: There was a last review?

Trowa: Apparently.

__

GAH! May I be smote for my imbecilic work! 

Duo: Smote?

Cherry Blossom: Goddess' term. To smite: to hit violently with harmful intent, most often by use of thunder bolt. Ex. I shall smite you!

Duo: Thank you Ms. Dictionary.

Cherry Blossom: ^__^

__

Why do I review when I know not of what to say on which parallel view!? I am in conflict with myself; my thoughts are is disorder! SHAME! SHAME UPON MINE MIND FOR THIS INDECISIVENESS! 

Duo: Whoa. Calm down would you? It's only a fanfic.

Trowa: I find that a good dose of paxil helps when reading this.

Quatre: Trowa!

Heero: ::giggles:: Or RUM! Heh heh…ru-hum! Rummy rummy rummy!!!

Trowa: ….keep him away from me.

__

Why cannnot I be a normal fangirl and dote upon one of the pilots?! GAH! SHAME UPON ME YET AGAIN! I shan't be one of those obsessive waifs!

Cherry Blossom: Waif: one who is without—

Duo: Shaddup! We know what it means already!!

Quatre: …I don't.

Duo: ::glares::

__

CURSE THOSE "FRIENDS" OF MINE! CURSE THEIR BLOODY HIDES! How dare they try to force me into being another blabbering Fangirl!? I SHAN'T! I SHAN'T, YOU HEAR ME!?!? How dare they make me watch Gundam Wing!? How dare they call me "Wufei" 

Wufei: Huh?

__

when THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY BLOODY SENSE IN THE FIRST PLACE! I AM NOTHING LIKE THAT....THAT....CURSE IT! *Smites herself.* I'm not even going to bother coming up with insults right now! They don't DESERVE the attention I give by insulting them! I really ought to clean up some of the blood I got on the keyboard...*Sighs.* 

Quatre: Ew…

__

Though I still insist on cursing my friends. Anyway, about your actual fic: 'Tis good. Et cetera.....Et cetera....why am I bothering? I don't DO real reviews! I BABBLE LIKE AN INANE POET! 

Heero: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! No more inane POETS!!!!!!!! ::bursts into tears::

Duo: O.o;; Uh…we have a problem here.

__

GAH! CURSE ME YET AGAIN AND MAY MY BROTHER ME SMOTE! Gah...I shall critique, seeing as how that's the closest thing I can do to reviewing....A CHARACTER CRITIQUE! 

Dramatic music.

Cherry Blossom: No! Not the….character critique!!! 

__

Cherry Blossom portrays herself _basically as a filthy sadist, but that's natural. _

Cherry Blossom: Hey, I bathe regularly!

Matteo: Cherry, that wasn't what she meant.

Cherry Blossom: ::sniffs:: Too bad, that's how I interpreted it. I feel a tantrum coming on. Either we're going to end up singing about Canada or somebody's going to get smote!

__

Most Fangirls/authors are evil sadists when it comes to whatever they write about. Especially guys which they consider attractive, I've found. 

Cherry Blossom: ::sputters:: Ex-cuse me?! What makes you think I find these guys attractive?

G-Boyz: ::offended:: Hey!

Cherry Blossom: Well…you're all very cute and stuff but…if I were to find anyone attractive it would be—

Matteo: ::smiles hopefully::

Cherry Blossom: Sexy Zechsy! Man that guy's got a hot @ss!

Matteo: _

__

Matteo is portrayed as a pity magnet, his authoress disregarding him in general except when she needs something of him. 

Matteo: Pity me. I am the muse.

Cherry Blossom: Pity you?! Who the hell got me up at 3 a.m. last night to write the last part of Bleeding, hmmm?

Matteo: ::grins::

__

Heero you've made to also draw a bit of pity, _taking away his gun and all. Though personally I don't blame you. Though don't you think you're being a bit harsh? Give the guy a toothpick! I bet he'd be able to kill people with that. _

Heero: Tooooooooooooooooth…pick! ::makes stabbing motions::

Trowa: ::winces:: I don't think that's a good idea right now. 

__

Actually, him being Mr. Perfect assassin, shouldn't he be able to kill you all with nothing other than his body? Tsk, tsk....plot hole. Keep that up and you'll have a fic that looks like Swiss Cheese. 

Duo: Mmm…cheese.

Cherry Blossom: This is an MST. I don't think it's supposed to have a plot.

Trowa: But if there was one it'd be Heero trying to take over the world.

Heero: ::in flat monotone voice:: All of your base are now belong to us. You have no chance to survive. Make your time. HA HA HA…

Duo: What happen?

Cherry Blossom: Somebody set us up a bomb.

Duo: What you say!!

Quatre: What is _wrong_ with you people?

Cherry Blossom: Sorry. Inside joke. 

Heero: You are on the way to destruction.

__

Duo you've made into the typical teenage guy/ comic relief. 'Tis suggestable that you continue to mistreat him, seeing as how he forgets easily enough anyway and needs a dose of melancholia in his life, don't you think? 

Duo: Mela…what?

Cherry Blossom: Melancholia: the act of—

Duo: I don't want to hear it!

__

Trowa you've turned to be the total mute, as a lot of authors seem to also enjoy. 

Duo: Mute? Hell Trowa gets more lines then the rest of us around here.

Wufei: Yes, I find it a great injustice that I am not awarded more time in which to speak!

__

However, you go for the bit of supposed shock in making him do the unexpected. Such as humor, jokes, et cetera. I suggest someone beats some sense into him using a piece of Hickory wood. Quatre, is somewhat the same as Trowa, only you've turned him into the stereotypical Pity-the-kawaii-uke rather than the mute. 

Quatre: I'm the seme dammit! The _seme_!!!

Everyone else: O.o;;

Quatre: ::blushes:: Well, er…I…uh…oh, go away.

Heero: ::snickers::

__

I suggest you lend him the contents of my room. There's the reindeer skin on the floor....the angora rabbit skin on the wall....and the sheep pelt covering my computer chair. Hopefully this'll break him of his attachment to the fluffy species of animals.

Animal Rights Activists: Grr….::hacking into files to find out where Ignacia lives::

__

Wufei you've turned into the usual sexist swine. The one where he always rants about justice and points out mistakes, and then gets what he deserves so everyone can be happy about his pain and suffering. I suggest you find someone that can give endless reasons and babblings about any such thing so that he can actually understand it all better. I just described myself, didn't I? *Bludgeons herself again.* CURSE IT! THOSE EVIL "FRIENDS" OF MINE! CURSE THEIR SICK MINDS AND THEIR CEASELESS RAMBLINGS AND COMPARISONS! GAH! I REFUSE TO GIVE INTO THE CLICHED FANGIRL MOLD! NEVER! I SHALL NOT START ACTING EXACTLY LIKE ONE OF THE PILOTS AND MAKE A SHRINE! NEVER! YOU HEAR ME!? GAH! *Snaps out of it.* I hate myself....

Quatre: Well…that was—

Duo: Long. Can we move on to the next one now, before my braid turns gray?

Matteo: Kaylie writes,

__

I love! I love much! And to anyone out there who feels like cheering: PICKLES ON A STICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YEAH!

Trowa: ::blink blink:: Do you think she had some of Heero's rum cake?

Heero: Pickle!! Pickle on a sti~ick! Buahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Duo: -_-; Can I shoot him, pleeeeaaaaase?

Cherry Blossom: No. Don't worry, I'm sure it'll wear off sooner or later.

Matteo: *Black Tiger*,Blue fire Panther,and Silver Jaguar writes,

__

[listing to Shaggy's 'Angel'cd] BT:And I quote"Canada's got nothing but Angels!" 

BfP:And damn good Writers! 

Cherry Blossom: Yay! Appreciation for Canada!!

Wufei: Dammit, can we never escape this evil country's hold?!!

Cherry Blossom: Nope. ^__^

__

SJ:I love you Wufei

BT:I'M GOING TO KILL YOU SILVER!![Trys To Bash SJ's skull in with a baseball bat] 

Wufei: Now, now onnas. There is plenty of me to go around.

Duo: ::snickers:: If you tear him into little pieces…

Wufei: I heard that Maxwell.

__

BfP:{sigh}let's sing the song 

BT: Cherry you're our angel, you're our darling angel 

BfP: Closer than our peeps you are to us, Cherry 

SJ: Cherry you're our angel, you're our darling angel 

BT: You entertain us constantly, Cherry! 

BT/BfP/SJ: bye! and keep writing!!!!!! grinsandgigglez

Cherry Blossom: ::smiles:: Aw…isn't that sweet? I just love fans!

G-Boyz: ::groan::

Matteo: Next is Too Lazy To Type My Name (TLTTMN) who says:

__

Yet another awesome CPT, Cherry! Absoloutly wonderful! Luv the new theater... ummm... i mean... spacestation! ^_^ Say Hi to Jezabel 4 me!!! (Cats Rule ALL!!!!!!) Keep up the awesome work!!!!! ~~~~~~TLTTMN~~**((**~~

Jezebel: Purrr~

Wufei: ::shudder::

Matteo: Sage, Mistress of Magic writes,

__

Yay! I'm happy that you got another chapter out! *pouts* You didn't read my review... Not that I remember it though... 

Wufei: It couldn't have been that memorable then.

Cherry Blossom: ::stomps on Wufei foot::

Wufei: Ow~!! ::hops around the room::

__

Oh well. I got a major migraine from those stupid crappy poems. No offense, but I think that with all of the crappy poems that you did, you are slowly, but surely, driving the Gundam Wing characters insane. *mumbles* Even though Wufei already is... I mean, c'mon! Look at Quatre for Pete's sake! 

Everyone: ::stares at Quatre::

Quatre: ::blushes:: What?

__

Wait a minute, who's Pete? 

Duo: I don't know. You brought him up.

Wufei: Wasn't Pete the camel…

Quatre: No that was Steve.

Wufei: Ah, yes. 

Heero: ::singing:: Drooooooooomedary!! I have a lovely droooooooooooooomedary!!!

Duo: ::twitch:: IwillnotkillhimIwillnotkillhimIwillnotkillhim… 

__

@_@ But I couldn't care less if Quatre went insane, he'll always be a kawaii Arabian to me! *hugs Quatre and kisses his cheek* Well, I have to go, but I never go without giving you guys something! Heero gets a gun, no Cherry, it has darts in it, not bullets. 

Heero: Dartdartdartdartdartdartdartdartdartdart!!!! Heheheheheheheheheh!!!

Wufei: ::looking a bit panicked:: Cherry!

Cherry Blossom: Uh…pray?

__

Duo gets a scythe, it's fake, but VERY realistic. Trowa gets a trampoline,

Trowa: ::flatly:: And now I shall bounce to freedom.

Quatre: You _have_ been into my tea, haven't you.

__

Quatre gets a kawaii little puppy that likes him, 

Duo: As opposed to the kawaii puppy that _doesn't_ like Quatre. ::grins:: That one's mine!

Quatre: Hey! Duo get your dog away from me!!

Duo: Heh heh heh…

__

and Wufei gets a katana, which is real, but can't harm anything because I said so.

Heero: ::shooting darts everywhere:: Buahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

Duo: ::avoids getting on in the butt:: Wufei! You're the only one with a real weapon!! Do something!!

Wufei: I can't! ::wails:: The onna said I couldn't harm anyone!!

Duo: Oh for the love of…somebody get me off this damn satellite!!

__

Matteo, here. *hands him a bunch of cough drops, Aleve(for the headaches), and lots of candies* Cherry Blossom, you get an award for the best MSTing series that I have ever read *hands her a big-@ss trophy and a check for one billion dollars*, a car of your choice, a new laptop, and tons of pocky in all the different flavors. Oh yeah, I almost forgot! *throws various bags and boxes of candies, chocolates, and pocky to everybody* Enjoy!

Cherry Blossom: No where near Christmas or my birthday and I'm _still_ getting presents. ^__^

Duo: Yeah, if it weren't for the poems I'd actually _like_ coming here. ::dodges another dart:: Oh yeah…and if it wern't for the fact that Heero's SHOOTING AT ME WITH DARTS!!!

Heero: Hehehehehehehehehehehehehe!!! All of your base are now belong to us!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: All right, that's enough. It's time for the instant cold shower. ::snaps fingers::

Heero: ::suddenly soaked with freezing cold water:: Aii~!!

Duo: Thank you!

Matteo: Duck-K writes,

__

Hahahaha ~snicker~ Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahah *wheeze* hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Oh yeahm did I mention that that was really funny? ~singing~ I'm in a story! I'm in a story! 

Trowa: Eh, that's nothing new. I'm in stories all the time.

Quatre: The novelty wears off.

__

Anyway... Great chapter, and people who talk to themsleves aren't insane! I do it all the time- er.... nevermind. Go Cherry!

Heero: Why the hell am I all wet?!

Duo: Uh…because you went chasing after everybody with darts?

Heero: …so?

Duo: And you were drunk?

Heero: …so?

Duo: And it's time to start the MSTing?

Heero: Noooooooooo!

Cherry Blossom: We've got a couple more reviews first.

Matteo: LIME writes: 

__

F*CK YOU!!! I LIKE DONKIES!!! AND MULES!!! AND HORSES!!!

Everybody: O.o;; …..

Cherry Blossom: Does that constitute a flame?

Wufei: I don't know. When did you ever say that you didn't like donkeys, mules, and horses?

Cherry Blossom: ::shrugs::

Matteo: And lastly, Corazon del Fuego writes:

__

*siiiiiigh* CPT, how I have missed thee. From thy simple, hapless birth, thou hast filled our hearts with mirth. 

Heero: Noooooooooooooooooo! Not in POEM FORM!!!!!!

__

Now after ten chapters I have read, a few screws have gone loose in my head. 

Trowa: Obviously.

__

But this is a time to be gay and make merry, on this, your tenth aniversary.

Cherry Blossom: Actually our one year anniversary is coming up in a couple days, you know? Everyone be sure to send a special gift!

Duo: Quit milking the reviewers for gifts!

Cherry Blossom: ^__^ 

__

So for you five special bishies, I make for you a few wishies: May you have crappy poems in your heads, crappy poems in your beds, crappy poems that you dread, forever on, forever on. May you suffer this literary torture, from now until your departure, until you're sent to a mortu- ary, forever on, forever on. 

Heero: I hate you.

Duo: You keep saying that…

__

So Cherry, keep writing, and keep your muses from fighting, as surely as Dilly's torch shall burn bright. 

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: ::tosses Dilly some parking tickets::

Dilly: ::the parking tickets fry:: YES LOVELY!!!!!!!

__

Heero shall try to abscond, and Quatre's such a blonde, 

Quatre: Hey!

Duo: Well you are.

Quatre: But you don't have to say it. ::sulks::

__

but Teo-san is allllllllllllllllllllright. Duo shall be crassy, and Trowa shall be sassy, and Wufei's always ready for a fight. Well that enough for me, and it's my hope that maybe (just maybe,) there'll be more CPT tomorrow night. 

Heero: In the name of all that is holy NO!

__

~_^ G'night, all. Cherry, luv ya! Teo-san, *glomp* Heero, *squirts Heero with a water gun* Duo, *gives Duo the water gun* 

Heero: ::glares at Duo::

Duo: ::gulps:: Now Heero…you know that it wasn't me…

Heero: Since when do I need an excuse?

Duo: Yipe! ::runs away::

Heero: Come back here!

__

Trowa, *hands Trowa a book of embarassing photos from Cherry's childhood* Quatre, *gives Quatre a stuffed lamb* Wufei, *gives Wufei a solid slap on the butt and dissappears*

Trowa: ::hold up the photos:: Now I shall blackmail you into letting us go!!

Cherry Blossom: Oh Dilly-samma!!!

Dilly: Burn?

Cherry Blossom: ::points to Trowa:: Sick 'em.

Dilly: ::points flame thrower at Trowa:: Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurn!!!

Trowa: Eep! ::drops the photos and leaps out of the way. The photos fry::

Cherry Blossom: Mission Accomplished.

Heero: Quit stealing all my lines!

Cherry Blossom: And now, let's get to the interesting part of the show!

Quatre: The part where we throw Duo out the airlock?

Duo: Hey!

Cherry Blossom: ::looks sad:: No. The other interesting part of the show. The part with the….POEMS!!! Buahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!

Heero: We are doomed!! Doomed I tell you!!!

Trowa: I though the run wore off.

Wufei: It did. This is panic.

Trowa: Oh.

Cherry Blossom: Let's snap ass people! God it's good to be back!!!

Snowgoogles: We got CRAP-SIGN!!!!

Duo: ::begins to freak out and run amuck as the theater doors open to reveal…::

::door sequence::

(5) Trieze Kushrenada. You grab Wufei and drag him past the dead OZ leader to encounter…

(4) A Honda Civic. You climb in through the window and travel towards the back of the vehicle where you see… 

(3) A swimming pool. You ponder the physics of a swimming pool being able to fit in a Honda Civic for a while and then give up and dive in to find yourself before… 

(2) The Gates of Hell. You ignore Duo's lame @ss jokes and fling the doors open to reveal…

A tapestry displaying a scene of all five gundams standing beside their respective pilots under the full moon. You pull it aside and enter… 

The Theater

****

Crappy Poem Theater (for real this time)

Trowa: ::sigh:: Well…we're back here again.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah…isn't it great?

G-Boyz: NO!

Cherry Blossom: ::wince:: Sheesh. Fine, fine. Let's get it over with then…bunch of spoilsports. But first…THE UNHOLY DISCLAIMER!!!

Disclaimer: We I rule the world then I shall finally own Gundam Wing. In the meantime, all your base are now belong to us. Make your time. 

Duo: Riiiiight.

Cherry Blossom: ^__^ I got these poems off an Internet site! 

G-Boyz: ::groan::

Heero: Well at least it isn't Shakespeare tonight.

Matteo: First up for tonight is…

****

angst for nothing

Duo: ::snort:: Like I'd pay for my angst.

Quatre: We get enough of it for free as it is.

Trowa: Isn't there a song like that? You know, you're angst for nothing and your chicks for free?

Wufei: You are all crazy onnas. I refuse to comment.

****

(by rimshot)

Duo: Badoom ch!

Everybody Else: -_-

Duo: What?

****

encroaching blackness lies bleeding on the uncaring sands of time

Quatre: I was unaware that blackness _could_ bleed.

Duo: And on uncaring sands of time, no less.

****

pain is good

pain is nice

pain is worth the sacrifice

Trowa: Sadism much?

Heero: Trite rhyming scheme!! No!!! 

****

i fling myself facefirst from this vale of tears into the black strangling nothingness that birthed me

Cherry Blossom: Now, now. Be nice to your mother.

****

i am but a hemorrhoid on the rectum of the universe

Everybody: ::winces:: 

Duo: That was an image I DIDN'T NEED.

Quatre: ::looks faintly sick::

Trowa: Preparation H, anyone? 

****

prostate with pain

the sky is falling

the sky is falling

the sky is falling

Heero: Is there an echo around here?

****

fear is the maggot

Wufei: Yet another lovely image. What is _wrong_ with this person?

****

in my soul

it gnaws at me

i dine in hell

Duo: Well what do you know? Someone's joining the God of Death for dinner!

****

the menu is nothingness

Duo: ::looks offended:: Certainly not! I've got steak and pasta planned for tonight. And a big bowl of chocolate pudding!

Cherry Blossom: Mmm…pudding!

****

i drink the bitter wine of mankind to the dregs

Trowa: Is that a '64 Chardonney?

Quatre: Nope. Just a '43 Wine of Mankind.

Trowa: Is it any good?

Quatre: Actually it's a tad bitter. 

****

My cup

overfloweth

Quatre: ::sweetly:: Not if your were pouring it correctly.

Wufei: Is that it?

Cherry Blossom: Yep.

Heero: That was…

Duo: Angst for nothing?

Heero: Yes.

Cherry Blossom: Let's move on, shall we?

Matteo: This one is called…

****

Moosehead

Heero: Moosehead?!

Trowa: ::sarcastic…obviously:: Now there's a subject worthy of commentary.

Cherry Blossom: Really Trowa, you're worse then a teenager.

Trowa: I am a teenager.

Cherry Blossom: That explains it.

****

(by

Apostrophe)

Duo: You mean like '''''''''''?

Quatre: ::shrugs::

****

Which one was The Moosehead?

Heero: Which one _what_?

Wufei: If it was a moosehead, don't you think you'd be able to tell right away? 

****

Eleven Syllables which I do not Rhyme

Quatre: Okaaay… ****

My heart is in my...yuck.

Cherry Blossom: Should we be grateful they didn't finish that thought?

G-Boyz: YES!

****

I'm surprised it's gone this long

Heero: …without me killing something.

Duo: You already shot the kazoo player. Wasn't that enough?

Heero: No. 

****

Their Tits? they don't - That's The Problem

Quatre: ::blushes:: E-excuse me?

Duo: ::perks up:: Hmm…this poem might get better.

Cherry Blossom: ::whaps him with her stick::

Duo: Itai!

Cherry Blossom: Serves you right, you hentai.

****

I'm you're biggest fantom!

Wufei: Thanks…I think.

****

Neat Spiral Staircase!

Duo: Where?

****

Trained Ravens are Red

Trowa: I'm pretty sure that Ravens are black.

Quatre: Maybe you just haven't seen any trained ones.

Trowa: I work at a circus.

Quatre: …oh yeah, right.

****

Roses are Black.

Cherry Blossom: Only if you're a member of Night World. ^__^

Wufei: ….no comment.

****

I Think Bad.

Heero: I think bad too. I think this poet is bad. Bad poet, bad! Bad bad bad!!!

Duo: Uh oh, he's going loopy…

****

Footsteps like Heartbeats

Slow on the Uptake

Wufei: Well what do you know…they're describing you, Maxwell.

Duo: Omeo o korosu!!!

Heero: Gundammit, stop stealing all my lines!!

Quatre: We shouldn't be fighting at all—

Cherry Blossom: Quatre dear, just give up.

****

Fast on the Drawer

Trowa: The…Drawer?

Duo: The kind you wear or the kind you put stuff in? 

Cherry Blossom: ::whaps him again::

Duo: Itai!

Cherry Blossom: No unauthorized underpants jokes.

Heero: ::snicker:: Underpants…

Wufei: We'd better wrap this up. Yuy is cracking.

Cherry Blossom: One last poem.

Matteo: This one is called… 

****

Pretty Pink Flower

Heero: ::freezes:: P-P-P-Pink?!!

****

(by

Fritters)

Duo: Corn fritters here! Get your corn fritters here!

****

I saw a pretty pink flower

It was pretty

It was pink

It was a flower

Wufei: Like we couldn't have gathered that from the first line.

Heero: P-P-P-P-Pink?!

****

Oh, pretty pink flower

So flowery and pink

I think of pink

Duo: I think I'm going to be sick.

Trowa: Too…much…PINK!!

Quatre: ::calmly:: I don't see what the problem is. I think it's a lovely poem.

Heero: P-P-P-P-Pink?!

****

And think of pretty

I think of flowers

And think of pretty

Duo: We're stuck in a time loop! We'll never get out of here!!

All: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!

****

Oh, so natural

Pretty pink flower

How I love thee

Pretty pink flower

Heero: ::eyes glaze over:: Piiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii~nk! OMEO O KOROSU!!!! ::gets his dart gun out again::

Duo: Run you fools!!

****

Pretty Pink

Flower

Heero: PINK FLOWER!!! OMEO O KOROSU~!!!! SHINE SHINE SHINE!!!!!!!!!!

****

Pretty

Heero: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! ::rapidly fires the dart gun::

****

Pink

Cherry Blossom: Tackle him, guys!!

Duo: What are you nuts?!!

****

Flower

Heero: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA—ah? ::is suddenly tackled on all sides by the other pilots:: 

Trowa: ::takes away the dart gun:: That's enough Heero.

Heero: Noooooooooo! ::sobs:: P-piii~nk!

Duo: ::pats him on the shoulder:: It's okay man. The poem's over. No more pink.

Heero: ::sniffles hopefully:: No…more…pink?

Duo: That's right.

Heero: ::stands up and brushes himself off:: Well let's go then.

Everybody else: O.o;;

Heero: What?

::doors open::

Duo: ::runs for them like a bat out of hell:: I'M FREE I TELL YOU!!! FREE!!!!

Quatre: I still don't see what was the matter with that last poem.

Trowa: -_-;;

~ SOCB ~

Snowgoggles: Oh, you're back! How was the MST?

Jezebel: Mwrrr?

Duo: LIBRE MI!!!! 

Snowgoogles: That good, eh?

Heero: pink…::shudders::

Trowa: Don't worry Heero. The limo is dead. We killed it.

Duo: So Wufei, how about continuing our game of cards?

Wufei: No way, Maxwell. You cheat.

Duo: Oh come on! How can you cheat at Go Fish?

Wufei: I don't know, but _you_ obviously do.

Duo: You are sooooooo childish.

Wufei: Am not.

Duo: Are too.

Wufei: Am not!

Duo: Are too!

Wufei: Am not, am not, am not!!

Duo: Are too, are too, are too!!

Wufei: Am noooooooo~t!

Duo: Are toooooooooo~!

Cherry Blossom: Oy…I feel a headache coming on.

Quatre: Let's go get some tea, Trowa.

Trowa: But I don't like tea.

Quatre: ::gives Trowa _the look_::

Trowa: Oh…all right.

Quatre: ^__^

Cherry Blossom: See everybody next time! And don't forget to review and send me crappy poetry at chibicherryb@hotmail.com! 

Wufei: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~t!

Duo: Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~t!

Cherry Blossom: ::sigh::


	12. Crappy Poem Theater 12

Crappy Poem Theater

Slow zoom to a lemon shaped satellite orbiting the earth. Emblazoned on the main entrance door is a large pink Cherry Blossom flower, with feather quills crossed over it like a coat of arms. You enter the satellite to be immediately confronted by a strange recording of Masterpiece Theater Theme played on a kazoo. You step into the main room where you find a group of people clustered around a computer counsel.

Wufei: Impossible! There is no way this could happen.

Duo: It's time to face facts Wu-man. It's really over.

Wufei: B-but we hardly even had time to really get to know each other!! 

Quatre: There's always next season.

Wufei: ::teary-eyed:: What if the world end before that?!

Heero: Then we'll all die happy.

Trowa: Heero, be more sensitive. Can't you see he's upset?

Heero: Hn.

Cherry Blossom, Matteo, and the lovable lethal kitty Jezebel walk into the room.

Jezebel: ::goes over to Wufei:: Mreow?

Wufei: Leave me be, beast. I am in no mood to be bitten by you today.

Cherry Blossom: Geez, what's wrong Wufei? You look like someone ran over your dog or something.

Wufei: ::bursts into tears::

Quatre: There, there…::pats him on the back:: It's the season finale of Survivor.

Wufei: ::cries harder::

Cherry Blossom: -_-;

Matteo: Uh…sorry for your loss?

Wufei: ::sniffle:: What shall I do? I've grown so fond of watching those sadistic characters backstab and slander each other for money…and now it's GONE! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa~h!

Cherry Blossom: Well it'll be back next season. In the meantime, watch Temptation Island. It's almost as crappy and just as addictive!

Wufei: ::brightens:: You are right! That is what I shall do.

Cherry Blossom: All better?

Wufei: ::nods::

Cherry Blossom: Good.

Jezebel: ::bites Wufei in the butt::

Wufei: KISAMA!!! What did you do THAT for?!

Cherry Blossom: ::shrugs:: She must have sensed everything was back to normal. ::cooes:: Who's a smart girl? Who is it?

Jezebel: ::beams at Cherry:: Mrrr…

Wufei: _ ….

Cherry Blossom: Well now that that's done, let's go read some mail!

G-Boyz: ::groan::

Reviewer's Corner

Cherry Blossom: The Hat O'Reviews, if you please Matteo?

Matteo: ::brings forth the tattered and rather ugly hat:: 

Cherry Blossom: Let's see which randomly picked reviewers get their letters aired on the show today!

Duo: *pftt* She just wants to know if she got any presents.

Heero: And you don't?

Duo: Hey, it beats reading poetry.

Trowa: He has a point.

Matteo: The first letter is from Tsuki-chan (a.k.a. Moon)

Cherry Blossom: Waitaminute…_the_ Tsuki-Moon? Who wrote _A Love Quadrilateral_? Can I have your autograph please?

Duo: Aww cripes… 

Wufei: I was not in that fic, as I recalled. And I'm still miffed at you for that!

Quatre: Can we just get on with it please?

Matteo: Er…yeah, she writes,

Oi,oi! Great 'fic Cherry! I love it! And as for the G-boys I am sorry you're being tortured guys! And don't worry you are all kawaii (although Heero's the MOST kawaii) and you all have cute asses (although Heero's ass is the cutest). 

Trowa: Nothing to do with the fact that he's wearing spandex for most of the series.

Heero: I wouldn't talk. Your jeans are two sizes too small for you anyway.

Ja!...Oh, and Matteo, this is my muse 'Komu-chan, who would like to say 'hello' but unfortunatly his mouth is currently stuffed with the pocky that I was going to give Duo. 

Duo: Aw man! ::pouts::

Don't worry Du-chan I saved some for you! *pulls out a box of chocolate pocky that 'Komu-chan obviously didn't see and tosses it to Duo, along with another dart gun for Heero* Ja ne! (for real this time!) 

Wufei: NO!! ::leaps on Heero and wrenches the dart gun out of his hand:: I will not have a repeat of last episode!!

Heero: ::frowns:: Hn?

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry, nobody's given him any rum cake…yet.

Matteo: Sasha Janre writes,

__

Heyo Cherry, my fellow Canadian! I love this series, even though the poor G-boys don't deserve this kind of punishment (except for maybe Wufei. Onnako!) Heero can have my reeeeally large super soaker (it has multicoloured water in it!) 

Heero: ::sprays Duo with multicoloured water::

Heero: Hn. Psychedelic. 

Duo: -_- …I really hate being wet all the time.

Cherry Blossom: But you look so cute when you're soaked!

Quatre can have this pretty tea pot (It may be a size too small), and Trowa can make use of these three beanbag balls. Trowa: ::grins:: 

*whack*

*whack*

*whack*

Wufei: -_- …I am not amused.

Trowa: But I am. ^.\\\

Wufei can have "paint on hair" product I picked up at the store, (sorry, couldn't resist!) and Duo can have this beautiful "I love Canada" T-shirt! Adios, Cherry-chan, and keep it up! 

Duo: B…but I'm American!! American!!!

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry about it Duo-chan. Now you can travel to foreign countries like Europe and not get beaten up!

Matteo: Next is Loyce who wrote,

__

LOL...These awful poems are worse then trying to help my brother write an alliteration for his English class using the words: gnarled, giraffe, gnome, grizzled and gobbled. 

Duo: The gnarled giraffe gobbled the grizzled gnome…

Trowa: Can gnome be considered alliteration? The "g" is silent.

Wufei: Just like you were supposed to be.

Trowa: ….!

Though I have to say that professors that over analysis Shakespeare rank up there with teachers that insist on interpreting crappy poetry. BTW, all you pocky are now belong to us....except Duo's pocky *hands Duo a box of pocky and blushes* And here's some chocolate for you Cherry. I'll see if I can dig up some awful stuff to send you to torture the guys with. ^-^ 

Cherry Blossom: Mmm…chocolate. Thank you muchly. 

Matteo: Cim writes,

ROTFL! This is extremely funny -espcially when your older brother is acting out Heero's parts. __

Flare: *twitchtwitch* PP-pink.... x_x 

Cim: ^_^; don't worry 'bout him. He'll be ok. Anyhoo, I think Quatre was acting strange also. Are you sure he didn't get into that rum cake also? 

Quatre: Muslims don't have alcohol. It's against our religion. And if SOMEONE would stop spiking the punch all the time…

Duo: ::looks innocent:: What?

...also, presents for all! ..these are anniversary gifts, mind you... hmm...what for who? Flare: Let's see... More rum cake for Heero; 

Wufei: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Gee, usually the Wail of Impending DoomÔ is only used for the herald of poetry and the like.

For Duo, a wollybooger named Bill; 

Duo: ::looks at the box as it shakes a bit:: Er…thanks…

Quatre gets a Mr. Coffee; Trowa gets... Secret Present X! (so secret even we don't know what it is!); ... And Wufei gets Ted the woolybooger. Cim: Now Wufei and Duo can have an excellent adventure! Yay! 

Cherry Blossom: And beat Death in an exciting game of chess!

Wufei: Duo? Beat someone in chess? He couldn't even beat Trowa!

Duo: And yet I somehow manage to beat you every single time we play Go Fish.

Wufei: That's because you cheat, Maxwell.

Flare: A bottomless box of pocky for Cherry, and a waffle iron for Matteo. 

Matteo: ::dnaces around the room: Waffles! Waffles for me!!

And now, for poor, giftless Snowgoggles, it's... PIE! Everyone loves pie! 

Snowgoggles: I get a gift?! Oh my God! I'm so happy!! ::sniffles:: No one ever remembers to give me a gift!

Duo: Hey Snow…if you're here then…who's steering the satellite? 

Snowgoggles: ::panicked look:: Uh…excuse me for a moment! ::runs out of the room::

Everybody: -.-;

Cim: YAY!! Oh, and my old history report for Dilly. Well, that's everyone. Toodles! 

Dilly: ::looks at history report:: Burn?

Cherry Blossom: That's what I think she intended for it.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

~ history paper fries ~

Trowa: And there was much rejoicing.

Everyone: Yay!

Matteo: Next is Beck who says,

God save the queen. 

Duo: From what? Do you want me to save Relena again? 'Cause I've had enough of doing that.

Cherry Blossom: Actually that's British, dear. I'm Canadian. 

And Du-chan--god before queen of course! I will be back to bask in the torture later...oh my poor pilots, I would save you if I could but it appears you are in the evil clutches of Cherry-sama now! 

Cherry Blossom: Bwah ha ha!!! EVIL! 

Matteo: SilverShinigami writes,

__

^_^ You're great, Cherry. You make me wonder all over again exactly *how* crappy poems can be... Ah yes, my lovely muse. Meet Seigimegami (Wufei, you should like her- she rants almost as much as *you* do). 

Wufei: And just what are you implying onna?

Heero: That you rant a lot.

Wufei: I do not rant! I…express…my opinions…vocally…oh shut up.

__

She and Matteo should get together sometime and talk about...whatever it is that muses talk about. 

Matteo: So…how's the stock market doing this week?

Jezebel: Mrwow?

Whatever. Jeez, you had me laughing so hard I thought I'd wake my brother up...and he's on the other side of the house!! Actually, if you don't mind, Cherry, Seigi and I were wondering if we could do our *own* version of CPT. Just one chapter, really, because there are a few poems I know of that just *have* to be MSTied, and I'd like to try it. 

Heero: Why does everyone want to torture us?

Duo: ::singing:: Do you really want to hu~rt me? Do you really want to make me cry?

Wufei: Since you started singing…yes.

If not, that's ok...I'm sure Seigi can think up some *other* way to torture the G-boys.... Maybe another show of 'SHS', eh, Quatre? Quatre: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! 

Cherry Blossom: Wow. That's two Wails of Impending DoomÔ and we haven't even started yet.

Hehehe... And Heero! Stay *away* from the rum-cake!!! 

Heero: Aw…

Cherry Blossom: Sure you can do a CPT of your own. I always say, the more crappy poetry gets made fun of, the happier place the world will be.

Trowa: …you do not always say that.

Cherry Blossom: Shh! They don't know that! 

Heero: They do now.

Cherry Blossom: ….

Matteo: Shinigami no Kamikaze writes,

__

SnK:Heh heh heh... I know people who write stuff like 'angst for nothing'. 

Hwoarang: Are they you? 

SnK: No. 

Hwoarang: Thank heaven for small mercies... 

__

SnK: *eye twitch* 

Hwoarang: *smug little smile*

SnK: If I wasn't so busy... 

Hwoarang:--but you are. 

SnK: *grumbles*... and, more disturbing, I know people who would like 'angst for nothing'. 

Kilik: Are they you? 

SnK: No! Why do you two keep asking that? 

Kilik: I dunno... because you're frightening..? 

SnK: *psychopathic look* ...what? 

Kilik: *shrinks* See? That's what I'm talking about. 

SnK: *huffs* ..I'll deal with you two later... anyway, it looks like that you did push Heero a little too far. He had a little Iori attack.

Iori: Shine!

SnK:If you know him--

Iori:Shine. 

SnK:--then you know what I mean. 

Iori: Shine. 

SnK: Yes, yes, I know, Iori. 

Cherry Blossom: Heh…kinda reminds me of Aya-kun on a Taketori bender.

Aya: ::pops in:: Shine!

Duo: Oh great…

Iori: Shine... 

Aya: ::waves sword around:: Shine!

Cherry Blossom: Now how did that happen?

Heero: This is going to be a long day.

Hwoarang: Did you have to bring him? Iori: Shine. 

Aya: Shine!

Duo: ::eye twitches:: Please make them stop…

__

Hwoarang: He's so annoying. 

Iori: *narrows eyes* Shine. 

SnK: You two should get along, he's a fellow tournament fighter... 

Iori: *nodding* Shine. 

Hwoarang: He's a sociopath!

Iori: *nodding* Shine. 

Aya: Shine!

Wufei: Arrrrgh! Justice!!

Aya: Shine!! 

Wufei: Justice!!

Heero: Hn…

Trowa: ….

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!!!!!!

Aya: Shine!!

Farfie: Knives hurt God!!! ::pulls out a knife and starts to lick it::

Duo: WTF? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?!!

Wufei: Justice!!

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRN!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Oh my God…

Quatre: Quick! Lock them in Dilly's padded, fireproof room!

Cherry Blossom: Right. ::sends all of the psychopaths to the locked room::

Duo: …you sent Wufei too.

Cherry Blossom: Oops. ::zaps him back in the room::

Wufei: JUSTI—oh…hello. What are you staring at?

Duo: Oh nothing…

__

SnK: Ah, well... The fic was hiliarious as always, Cherry ^_^ Hope to see more in the future... Say goodbye, Iori. 

Iori:*runs a hand through his hair while throwing back his head back in a fit of classic Iori-style maniacal laughter* 

SnK:ah, close enough.

Aya: ::from the padded room:: Shine!

Cherry Blossom: ::quickly makes the room soundproof:: Let's hope they don't kill each other while were in the theater.

Heero: Yeah. Let's hope.

Matteo: Er, next is Lady Lye who writes, 

Happy Anniversary, ya'll!!!!! ^______^ It's a wonderful life... As for anniversary gifts... you all DO deserve SOMETHING... *hands out catnip for Jez, a coupon for a day spa for Matteo (you poor baby, you so need it...), a straight jacket for Duo to use on Heero, a dart refill for Heero (WHAHAHA...-course he can't use it cuz he's all tied up! MORE torture!), for the Wuffster a new meditation pillow, Q gets the keys to a new car... a PINK limo! BWAHAHAHA!, Trowa-kins, the almightily smart one, gets a snazzy mini computer with a built in dictionary/encyclopedia with 'Net access (and email so he can try to contact one of us on the outside to get him out...don't worry, Cherry, it all gets filtered back to you- I did say TRY, afterall), and mega generous gift certificates for places like Tokyopop.com for Cherry and any miscellaneous characters running around. ^_^ As for this chapter specifically: Trowa sweetums, the song is get your money for nothin' and your chicks for free. As in, no work, but get paid anyway. It involves the line "I want my MTV" so quit complaing, Duo. CORN FRITTERS!! ...and we come a full circle with the cards... ...did Duo end that by saying "too~t"?! WTF!? 

Trowa: Were you eating beans again for supper?

Duo: Trowa! ::mortified::

Trowa: Just asking.

Quatre: You're mean Tro-chan. 

Matteo: TrowasGirl writes, 

__

OH MY GOD! I'm so bad!I can't believe I didn't review last time! I'm so sorry Cherry! Trowa! Matteo! Hi boys! Hehe. Well Once again CPT was fabulous as always. I missed it soo much! I even missed Sage! And our little fights over Tro-Tro-chan! Oh MY GOD! Guess what Cherry! I'm soo erghed. 

Duo: I'm erghed too!

Quatre: You don't even know what that means.

Duo: ::shrugs:: It's better then being "blearged" and "eecked".

__

Well Cherry! I give you a CPT soundtrack. I made it out of all the songs that fit CPT. And to Matteo and Trowa, Um....I don't think I got you anything. Oh wait....you can have my love!! Yeah thats it. Wufei? I give you the latest issue to Cosmopolitan. 

Wufei: ::reads cover:: How to make your man scream with ecstasy with a single touch.

Everyone: O.o;

__

Quatre? I give you a sheep Plushie. 

Quatre: Thank you.

Duo: Aren't you going to freak out?

Quatre: Nope. I'm over sheep now. I've moved on to better things. Like lizards.

Duo: I'm not even going to ask.

And finally to Heero. I give you a cap gun and this scarf. I guess I should leave you alone now. *Looks at Cherry* I went out with Trowa a few times and all. It was weird! *smiles* I got a question for you Trowa Barton. Hey Trowa Will you Marry Me? You know If you say no, I can always ask Matteo-chan. He likes me. Right Teo-kun? 

Matteo: Well ah…er…here's Corazon del Fuego with our next review!

^________^ Another masterpiece as always. Though I think you ought to bring Melepone (sp? You know, the Greek muse) into this sometime. T'would be most entertaining. ~_^ She and Matteo could mud-wrestle... er, something like that. Anyway, keep up the good work. Laterz. 

Matteo: Mel? Are you _insane_? 

Cherry Blossom: you just don't want her to come because she nags at you.

Matteo: ….Depression writes,

__

Your stories rule! 

Wufei does not 

Heero should kill him 

and leave him to rot 

Wufei: Hey! I object to the unnecessary bashing!

_ You better keep writing _

I'm warning you now 

Or I'll murder your Zechs 

and feed him to a cow 

Duo: Ciao!

Heero: Not only are we subjected to crappy poetry from dead people, but the reviewers are torturing us too! Oh the humanity!!

Duo: Aw, stuff a sock in it.

Gifts for all! *gives Trowa a kazoo* *gives Quatre a Barney Magic Banjo* *gives Duo a Dirty Magazine* *Gives Heero a Tickle Me elmo* *gives Wufei pink eye* 

Cherry Blossom: Sorry. No infectious diseases on the SOCB. It's a rule. ^__^ Give back the pink eye, Wufei.

Matteo: I like rice writes, __

I like rice. 

Trowa: Yes, we gathered that from the name.

__

Ok, now that that's cleared up, this is the most hysterical fanfic I've ever read. xD Poor Duo .. ^_^; People his age are bound to have hentai thoughts once in a while! O_o;; You should do one of these on The Raven .. *ROFL* 

Cherry Blossom: No Edgar Allen Poe, it's too depressing. And not anywhere's near Halloween.

Anyway .. O_o Now that you have encountered the wrath of the rice *Ahemahem* I shall leave .. x_X But before then .. *Glomps Duo and runs off squealing* MINE! HEEHEE! [Other fangirls] YEEEE! ::Tackle I like rice.:: [I like rice.] OWWW! Ok, you can have him on Tuesdays. ::Avoids the glares of the fangirls.:: Anyway, I like rice. Trowa: ::becoming frustrated:: Yes, we know! ::Sits there dumbfounded.:: .. Need more Onna song. NEED IT .. NEED IT ::Scream.:: Oh well, keep up the good work, don't mind the insanity, and .. ::Attempts to glomp Duo off, shot down by Heero's death glare.:: Ow .. WHOO-HOO! MACARONI AND CHEESE WITH APPLE SAUCE DUMPLINGS! ^_^!! Oh yes. And one more thing before I depart .. FREE POCKY FOR ALL! ^_^ -You were harrassed by I like rice. at .. aww, screw it. My clock's set wrong anyway. 

Quatre: Riiiight.

Cherry Blossom: Let's get on with the POEMS!!!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: ^__^ Third time's the charm. 

Snowgoogles: We got CRAP-SIGN!!!!

Duo: ::begins to freak out and run amuck as the theater doors open to reveal…::

::door sequence::

(5) A Chicken Burger. You eat it and continue on to find…

(4) A shower curtain. Ignoring the naked figure of Lady Une the best you can, you pull it aside and walk through to see...

(3) A normal looking door. You stare at it for a few minutes, trying to decide whether this is a trick or not, then you shrug and swing it open to reveal…

(2) Another door, this one of the revolving variety. You roll your eyes and push through the door only to end up on the same side staring at… 

(1) A tapestry displaying a scene of all five gundams standing beside their respective pilots under the full moon. You pull it aside and enter… 

The Theater

Crappy Poem Theater (this time it's personal) 

Cherry Blossom: ::frowns:: Who changed the title phrase?

Trowa: Who cares? We're back in this hell again.

Quatre: At least we've got popcorn this time.

Duo: And little gummy worms! Mmmm!

Wufei: That is disgusting Maxwell.

Duo: ::grins so Wufei can see the worms sticking out from between his teeth::

Wufei: _

Cherry Blossom: So, before we start, let's all take a gander at THE UNHOLY DISCLAIMER!!!!!!

Disclaimer: If wishes were horses then beggars would ride all over the damn place. We wish we owned Gundam Wing, but we don't. So you can direct all complaints about the ugliness of General Septum to Sunrise and Bandai and the writers and ect…

Duo: Is it just me, or has the disclaimer person gotten kinda gabby over there?

Wufei: Probably been sampling Yuy's rum cake.

Heero: ::sulks:: That was mine… 

Cherry Blossom: ::rolls eyes:: ANYway, let's go to our first poem, provided to us by Saki.

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!! Why are onnas always sending us POEMS?!!!

Duo: ::sarcastically:: Gee, I dunno. Maybe it's your charming bedside manner?

Trowa: Quit it, that's my job.

Matteo: Ahem…if you're all quite finished?

Cherry Blossom: Go ahead and start Teo-chan. We're all quivering in anticipation.

Quatre: ::mumbles:: And fear…

Matteo: ::clear throat:: 

__

Bantams in the Pine-Woods

Duo: ::sings:: And a partridge in a pear tree!

Heero: Baka. Christmas is long over with.

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, it's a whole new year of crappy poetry!

Everyone: ::groan::

__

by Wallace Stevens

Trowa: …I have nothing to say to that.

Wufei: Good. Let's keep it that way.

__

Chieftain Iffucan of Azcan in caftan

Duo: Say that five times fast and you can have this lollipop! On second thought…::shoves lollipop into his mouth:: 

__

Of tan with henna hackles, halt!

Damned universal cock,

Quatre: ::blushes:: E-excuse me?

Wufei: ::scowls:: If this is another one of your hentai poems…Maxwell do not say a word!!

Duo: But—

Wufei: NO.

Duo: ::pouts::

__

as if the sun

Was blackamoor to bear your blazing trail.

Trowa: The assiduous alliteration is annoying.

Cherry Blossom: No kidding.

__

Fat! Fat! Fat! Fat! 

Everyone: O.o … 

Duo: Did anyone follow that transition into LooneyLand there?

Quatre: Nope.

Trowa: Lost me.

Cherry Blossom: ::nasty glare:: Is he calling me fat?

__

I am the personal.

Duo: Well you can't get much more personal then telling someone they're fat.

__

Your world is you. I am my world.

Cherry Blossom: ::sings:: This land is your land, this land is my land! From Bonivista, to Vancouver Island…

Heero: Always have to find a way to drag Canada into it, don't you?

Cherry Blossom: ^__^

__

You ten-foot poet among inchlings.

Quatre: A ten foot poet!

Duo: Wrong career choice man. Should have been a basketball player.

__

Fat! Begone!

Trowa: When did this turn into a Weight Watchers pamphlet?

__

An inchling bristles in these pines,

Quatre: What exactly _is_ and inchling anyways?

Duo: It's another word for Wufei's—

Wufei: MAXWELL!! Not another WORD.

Duo: ^__^

__

Bristles, and points their Appalachian tangs,

Duo: New Appalachian Tangâ the great new flavour that will blow you away!

Cherry Blossom: Or at least create a lovely mountain range in your mouth.

__

And fears not portly Azcan nor his hoos.

Quatre: His _what_?

Heero: ::flatly:: His hoos.

Quatre: As in…owl's hoos?

Trowa: Just keep on believing that Quatre.

Duo: ::snickers:: I bet that he—

Wufei: NO. ::clamps a hand over Duo's mouth::

Duo: ::glares::

Cherry Blossom: My but that was horrible. Next poem please!

Matteo: Joe Go & Violet Beck sent us this poem in a review.

Wufei: Dammit WHY?!

Cherry Blossom: Thank you. I appreciate it, though the guys might not.

Matteo: This next one is called…

__

CHICKENS _FROM_

Duo: URANUS!! Wuahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Heero: -_-; Baka…

__

URANUS:

Everyone: ….

Duo: Who knew?

Wufei: Stop reading ahead Maxwell.

Duo: I didn't, I swear!

__

a poem by Souixee Schwab

Cherry Blossom: That's almost as hard to pronounce as Kus…Kushe…Kushri….

Quatre: Kushrenada?

Cherry Blossom: Whatever.

Trowa: Isn't that some kind of Jewish insult name? A Schwab?

Duo: How should I know, I'm Catholic.

__

Quittith I the molten

tree

Wufei: Quittith?

Quatre: ::shrugs::

Duo: Nothing like the smell of molten tree in the morning!

Heero: You are weird.

Duo: I know. 

__

And then I walrussed thee

Wufei: And how exactly do you 'walrus' someone?

Trowa: You tape big teeth and whiskers on to them and toss them into the ocean.

Heero: …I take it back. Trowa is the only weird one here.

Trowa: ^.\\\ 

__

!fly!!Fly!

Heero: I would if I could.

__

FlY FrOm ThE HilLS

Cherry Blossom: Whoa! The poem just spazzed out on us for some reason!

Trowa: Look out. Wufei's about to do the same.

Wufei: IT IS AN INJUSTICE TO LISTEN TO THIS CRAP!!

__

And into

Duo: Regis Philman's bedroom!

Quatre: ::shudders:: Don't joke about things like that! I'll have nightmares for a week!

__

THE TOMB

OF TOM B. STONe

Trowa: Well yes, naturally a tomb would be made of tombstone.

Heero: Before that there was strawstone and stickstone…but a big bad wolf came and blew them down and three little pigs were located to the projects.

Duo: ::brightens:: Pizza? 

Wufei: What ARE you jabbering about Maxwell?

Duo: He _said_ Tombstoneâ 

_ my nose Is A fLowEr _

Trowa: ::blankly:: That's nice.

Cherry Blossom: It's spazzing out again.

__

and The BeE of JUSTICE 

Wufei: IN-JUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!! How dare this poet write about JUSTICE in such a crappy context?

Duo: Wu-man. Chill.

Wufei: _ JUSTICE!!

Aya: ::from the padded room:: Shi-ne!

Quatre: Good grief.

__

Feeds

IT

COFFEE

Duo: ::blinks:: That's it? That's the end? That was pathetic!

Trowa: So glad you noticed.

Heero: Let's get out of here before Wufei injures himself permanently.

Wufei: JUSTIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!!!!! BUahUAHhauauAUAhaiuhUAahauaH!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: ::sweatdrop::

::doors open::

Duo: ::runs for them like a bat out of hell:: I WANT PIZZA!!!

Heero: You'd better check on the occupants of the padded room. There's no telling what those crazies might be doing in there.

Cherry Blossom: Right.

~ SOCB ~

Snowgoogles: Welcome back! How was your MST?

Duo: ::gagging::

Cherry Blossom: Same old, same old. Any trouble while we were gone?

Snowgoogles: Nope. That's what scares me. Dilly's room's been awful quiet.

Cherry Blossom: ::groans:: They better not have killed each other. Do you _know_ how hard it is to get blood off of padded walls? 

Heero: Hn. Take the dart gun with you. Just in case.

Cherry Blossom: Awe Heero, are you concerned about my safety?

Heero: ::scowls::

Cherry Blossom: I have authoress powers. I can take care of myself. But it was sweet of you to worry. ::pinches his cheek…and not the one on his face::

Heero: Omeo o korosu!!

Cherry Blossom: Yeah, yeah…

::inside the padded room::

Farfie: So…do you guys like…knives?

Aya: Shine.

Dilly: Burn?

Farfie: Goooooood. We shall find many ways to hurt God! Wanna try on my straight jacket? Shu-Shu says it's special.

Dilly: Burn!

Aya: Shi-ne!

Cherry Blossom: ::pops her head through the door:: Hey guys! It's time to go back to your proper animes, kay?

Farfie: ::pouts:: But we were gonna hurt God.

Cherry Blossom: Know what will hurt God a lot?

Farfie: ::eagerly:: What?

Cherry Blossom: Going back to your proper anime.

Farfie: ::licks his knife:: God shall cry tears of blood!

Cherry Blossom: Yeah sure kid. Brace yourself. ::snaps her fingers and everyone except Dilly disappears::

Dilly: ::sadly:: Burn?

Cherry Blossom: Don't worry Dillykins. Your friends can come back to play some other time. Now be a good boy and burn my credit card bill, 'kay?

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRNN!!!!!!!!!!!

::credit card bill fries::

Cherry Blossom: Excellent. Tune in next time and make sure to send your crappy poetry to chibicherryb@hotmail.com. Ciao minna! 


	13. Crappy Poem Theater 13

****

Crappy Poem Theater

Slow zoom to a lemon shaped satellite orbiting the earth. Emblazoned on the main entrance door is a large pink Cherry Blossom flower, with feather quills crossed over it like a coat of arms. You enter the satellite to be immediately confronted by a strange recording of Masterpiece Theater Theme played on a kazoo. You step into the main room where you find….nobody….

*cricket cricket*

Cherry Blossom: Where the hell is everybody?

*cricket cricket*

…..

Duo: ::running by at high speed:: NNYYYAAaaaaaarrhhhhhhhhh….

Cherry Blossom: -_- ;; What the—

Wufei: ::also running by at high speed:: GET BACK HERE MAXWELL!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Uh…wha—

Quatre: ::running by at slightly less high speed:: We shouldn't be fighting at all!!!

Cherry Blossom: ….wtf???

Trowa: ::walking quickly after Quatre:: This I gotta see…

Cherry Blossom: WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?!!!

Heero: Hn. Duo ate Wufei's last Jersey Milk bar.

Cherry Blossom: ….that's it?

Heero: Wufei gets very emotional about his chocolate.

Trowa: He's PMSing.

Wufei: I HEARD THAT BARTON!!!

Trowa: ^__^

Duo: ::trying to unlock the door:: Lemme out!! He's gonna kill me!!

Snowgoogles: Uh…Duo?

Duo: WHAT?!

Snowgoogles: You do know that if you open that door you'll get sucked into space and die, right?

Duo: …. ::backs away from the door:: Aheheheh…Of course I knew that! What kind of an idiot do you take me for?

Heero: Do you really want us to answer that?

Duo: ::glares::

Wufei: Prepare to die Maxwell!! I require justice for my precious Jersey Milk, which was so rudely devoured by a simpering moron!

Duo: Hey! ::pouts:: I resent that!

SDDI(Society in Defense of Duo's Intelligence): We resent that too! ::try to kill Wufei::

Cherry Blossom: Oopsie! Sorry Fei. I'll just take care of that. ::zaps them away:: Honestly, I don't know what's wrong with this thing today. ::shakes finger:: I gave it a manicure and everything…

Wufei: Can we get back to the matter at hand here? He ate my Jersey Milk!! He must be punished!!

Duo: B-but it was just sitting in the fridge! It's been there for a whole week! I checked! I thought nobody was going to eat it and I didn't want to waste such sweet chocolate… 

Wufei: I was saving it!! ::glaring::

Duo: Well I….I needed it! I'm diabetic!

Wufei: …really?

Duo: I don't lie.

Wufei: Well then…I guess it's alright. But you owe me a Jersery Milk, Maxwell.

Duo: Right. I'll get right on that.

Cherry Blossom: Well…now that that's settled…let's read some mail!

Quatre: ::whispering:: Are you really diabetic, Duo?

Duo: ::also whispering:: Sure I am! That's the disease where you need to eat chocolate all the time, right?

Quatre: Uh…not as such, no…

Duo: Oh. Well, don't tell Wufei that, 'kay?

Quatre: ::sweatdrop::

Reviewer's Corner 

Matteo: ::carries in the Hot 'O Reviews:: Who wants to pick out the letters?

Duo: Ooh! Me! Me! I want to do it! ::shoves his hand into the hat and after much shuffling, brings out a letter:: Here's the first one.

Matteo: Wodenschild writes, 

__

I just finished reading your Crappy Poem Theater it is truely a funny fic. Have you thought about doing Syliva Plath? 

Cherry Blossom: You mean Ms. death, death, depression, suicide, and yet more death? She's like, the spokesperson for teen angst everywhere! 

__

She's really bad. Of course now that I'm looking them over they might be too much for the poor boys. *Sigh* _Anyway I would like to give everyone presents for your anniversery. Cherry, here is a bouquet of caranations, Trieze isn't the only one who gives flowers!-_^_

Cherry Blossom: Oh wow! Thanks so much! I'll have to put them in water right away.

__

For Trowa a clone of my cat Sylive, he's very aggressive and will kept the Darling from being attacked by hamster Trieze. 

Jezebel: ::sniffs cat:: Mmrow?

Cherry Blossom: Hey! You guys stop that right now! I don't want a pregnant guardcat running around!

Jezebel: ::looks guilty:: 

__

Quatre get's a clone of my other cat Ziggy to help make it through the next poem. (Besides Sylive would be lonely up there by himself!) 

Jezebel: Rrrr… 

Duo: Catfight!

Trowa: ::rolls eyes:: 

__

Duo gets bubbles! Hmmm what else? Oh yeah, roses for Heero and a book on medition for Wufei, cherry flavored Lundens and water with a lemon twist for Matteo, a mace for Dilly, 

Dilly: ::brandishes mace:: BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN YOU POTENTIAL MUGGERS!!! I'M FROM NEW YORK!!!!!

Quatre: Um…I don't think that's what Wodenschild meant…

__

lilies for Snowgoggles I'll send them up so she doesn't have to get them! 

Snowgoggle: Thank you! ^__^ I love lilies.

__

Did I get everyone? Oh! And a big hug of appreciation for the disclaimer guy. He never gets anything! Bye now. *Waves* Luv ya all!

Quatre: Bye! ^__^ Come again!

Wufei: Don't encourage them.

Matteo: Next review is from The Narrator,

__

Cherry Blossom-sama: 

I have only recently discovered this forum of creative writing, which is why I have not submitted a review earlier. 

Cherry Blossom: We forgive you.

Heero: I don't.

__

I have read with great amusement your delightful program and am filled with regret that you have not updated it lately (please do not tell me that you have given up on it). 

Cherry Blossom: Never! There shall always be CPT! Just as there shall always be crappy poetry by deranged and misguided men—

Trowa: And women.

Cherry Blossom: ::glares:: And women. But not as much : P

Duo: Hey Cherry, I've heard that FF.net is outlawing MSTies of any kind. Whatcha gonna do then?

Quatre: ::gasp:: No more CPT?

Other G-Boyz: ::look hopeful::

Cherry Blossom: Well, I guess I'll just have to post these somewhere else. COTAC or something. Don't worry. I won't let them obliterate my precious CPTs!

G_Boyz: ::groan::

Heero: Well it was nice to dream…

__

The poems are certainly painful reading for anyone who has not had constant exposure to such literature (and built up an immunity to it, as I have); thus the appeal for it as a mode of torture for the brave (and yet tragically unread) Gundam pilots. I extend heartfelt condolences, gentlemen, but a brave man laughs in the face of Death and an intelligent man makes fun of him. 

To Dilandau-sama: My little sister sends her... *is knocked over by her little sister, Kanashimi* 

Kanashimi: Dilly-baby! *glomps Dilly* 

Dilly: ::holds out mace:: BACK DEMON SPAWN!!!

__

The Narrator: Oh my. I apologize about that, Cherry Blossom, I'll just... *tries to part Kanashimi and Dilandau, who is turning blue* 

Kanashimi: *growls and deathglares* 

Heero: I wish everyone would stop stealing my trademark…

__

The Narrator: Hm, I guess I'll leave this matter up to you, Cherry Blossom...do please be careful, she bites. 

Dilly: OW!!

Trowa: Thanks, we just figured that out.

__

And Heero, Duo, if you're still in the room, please hide. Kanashimi will pursue you with her own ardent affection once Cherry Blossom-sama manages to pry her away from Dilandau.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: Oookay, let's just zap you out of here ::puts the little sister back where she belongs::

Dilly: X.x

Duo: He doesn't look so good. Maybe you should send him to the rubber room for a bit, to recuperate. 

Cherry Blossom: Right. ::zaps Dilly to his room:: Let's get on with it. 

Matteo: Next is Northstar (too lazy to sign in),

Trowa: That happens to a lot of people these days. 

__

::gasps::By the goddess, Cherry! You are soooo evil! :::grins nastily::: Can you believe I just finished reading all twelve episodes back-to-back? Keep up the good work (torturing the g-boys I mean) because if you do, I can write fanfics about their therapy sessions! _::grins at the happy thought::_

Quatre: ::nervously:: We're in therapy?

Dilly: ::from the rubber room:: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNN!!!!!!

Trowa: …We'd better be.

__

Hey, that's the first funny idea my muse has given me! ::reaches over and drags in a bound-and-gagged Haldir::I er...borrowed the services of Haldir here, because he's an elf from Lothorien and they do really good songs...::muffled curses from Haldir:: Well, keep up the good work, and I am sure I have a few crappy poems for you to torture the boys with. Congrats on the anniversary, I wish I had been able to bring presents. 

Duo: ::looks sad:: Yeah, me too.

__

If it's any consolation, Gundams, I pity you. Try listening to a elf from Middle Earth go on about the follies of humans...::coughs::Well, I've got to go. Ja ne! 

P.S. Cherry, YOU RULE! Can I send Dilly my Advanced Composition essays? I reealllly want to get rid of them in the most spectacular way possible. ::holds out essays, and a huge bar-b-cue lighter::I'm sure Dilly can have a lot of fun with them! 

Cherry Blossom: I'll give them to him once he's calmed down a bit, kay? Next!

Matteo: Lady Lye writes,

__

I would write a poem for my reveiw... but I'm not in a poem-ish mood right now and it would be BEYOND crappy. (Yes, there is such a thing. O.o SCARY...) As always AWESOME~~~~~! Dillykins, here ya go- my entire American Studies Compendium project- say it with me! BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURN! 

Dilly: ::from the room:: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNN!!!

Wufei: Yes we know. 

__

^__^ Thanks, Dil. Fei, you actually lower yourself to watching crap like 'Reality TV'?!? 

Wufei: ::offended:: How dare you criticize my method of entertainment, onna!

Cherry Blossom: I often watch Survivor. I'm in the office pool on who will get kicked off next. Free Starbucks coffee if you win!! Can't argue with that, eh?

__

*rae* Let me guess- it was the rum cake? :P I'm disappointed in you, Fei-babe!!

Jezzie, sic 'im! 

Jezebel: ::just lays there::

Duo: You are sooooo lazy, cat.

Jezebel: *yawn*

__

:P You need serious rehab, Fei. (*suddenly wonders why she's bashing Fei so much...*) *cough* Those poems were just BIZARRE. They're raised the standard on what constitutes as crappy. *nod nod* Du-chan, since I embarrassed you before- you've now got a 'One Word Free' coupon to combat Fei's unjust 'not one word!!' hang up. 

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

__

:P It's not a good day for you, Fei, get over it. My luv to all of your trapped on the satellite!! I'll see you again soon! You can count on it!! 

Trowa: ::blandly:: The horror, the horror.

Matteo: Crystal Dream writes,

__

*hyperventilates* CHERRY-SAMA! I love you! I LOVE YOUUUUU! 

Wufei: Breathe onna! This fanfic does not need a lawsuit from the parents of dead fangirls!

__

You brought WeiB Kreuz in! WEIB! WEIB! I love YOU! Best yet, you brought Farfarello aka Farfie in! I LOVE YOU CHERRY-SAMAAA! *giggles* Aya is cool too. "Takatori...shin-NE!" *sniffles* Where was Yohji? *looks around* Yohji? YOHJI?!

Trowa: Not enough girls on the satellite for Yohji.

Cherry Blossom: Excuse me? No girls? Just what would you call _me_?

Trowa: Uh…..::thinking quickly:: a Goddess?

Duo: ::gives him five:: Nice save man!

Cherry Blossom: Hmph. 

__

And...and...Brad Crawford? You just can't do anything fun with Braddy! 

Cherry Blossom: Oh I don't know about that….

~ in another dimension, at the movies…~

Nagi: *whispering* Schu! Stop eating all my popcorn!!

Schuldich: You've got more than enough to share. Besides, Farf put a bunch of knives in my popcorn and now I'm afraid to eat it.

Farfarello: Watching Citizen Kane makes God cry. ::eats some popcorn covered knives::

Crawford: Rosebud is his sled. ::people throw popcorn at him::

Schuldich: Well thanks for ruining the ending for everyone Brad!

Crawford: ::shrugs::

Farfarello: God hurts.

~ back at the SOCB ~

Everybody: O.o o.O -.-;;

Cherry Blossom: Okay, maybe not.

__

*looks at Gundam Boys* Um...hey guys...don't be jealous...um...Canada rocks? *whimpers* I found a crossover! It had the G-boys, the guys from Yami no Matsuei, and the WeiB guys. *drools* ...um...I love you, Trowa. :)

Trowa: I'm too sexy for this satellite. Can I leave?

Everybody: NO.

Trowa: It was worth a try. 

Cherry Blossom: Next letter!

Mattteo: Redhawk writes,

__

Funny, of course, but you hear that all the time. this review is really to tell you that Nanashi No More is out for your blood because of the...eh... pedophile remark you made about her in episode 3: 

Cherry Blossom: ::blank stare:: …..huh?

Duo: Flashback sequence!!

~ flashback episode 3 ~

__

Matteo: *trying to cover his ears* Nanashi No More wrote, 

My god, that's the worst poem in history. WHO WROTE THAT???? Poor G-Boys... Oh well, lol, really funny! 

Trowa: I believe the child molester wrote the last one. 

Cherry Blossom: That's Theophile not pedophile. 

Wufei: Same difference. 

~ end flashback ~

__

yes... well... hide *shrugs*

Cherry Blossom: Oh _that_? I believe that Trowa was answering Nanashi No More's question, WHO WROTE THAT????, not commenting on the reviewer herself. And episode two's poet was Theophile, hence the running pedophile gag.

Wufei: Do onnas not have the ability to read correctly?? 

Cherry Blossom: ::glares::

Duo: Oooh, treading on thin ice there Wu. Retreat, retreat!

Wufei: Uh…I mean, next time please pay more attention to the context.

Duo: Nice save! ::offers hand for high five::

Wufei: Get your hand out of my face or you will lose it.

Duo: Sheesh, touch-y! I think you really are PMSing.

Cherry Blossom: Well now that _that's_ over with, next review please!

Matteo: Bekquai writes,

__

I never knew Heero was a fan of transvestite stand-up comedians. 

Heero: Executive transvestite.

Duo: What the heck are you talking about?

Heero: ::points to Duo:: Weirdo transvestite.

Duo: Heeey! Up yours Yuy!

Cherry Blossom: Now now, play nicely boys.

__

Eddie Izzard rules! ^_^ I am a Hamburger, a Frankfurter, and a doughnut! Anywho, I love this series. It is neato-keeno and special. I must have more! ^_^ Ja ne!

Duo: What the hell is this girl going on about?

Heero: John F. Kennedy. Played by Sean Connery. 

Duo: ????

Heero: Heh heh heh…

Trowa: Stop freaking Duo out, Yuy.

Heero: ::smirks:: But it's soooo much fun.

Duo: Hello pod person. Where have you hidden the body of Heero Yuy?

Cherry Blossom: Last review and then…..POEMS!!!!

Duo: ::looks back at Heero:: And can you kill me and take over my body too?

Heero: Sorry.

Duo: Damn.

Matteo: Edward writes,

__

;_; I like the Raven. It's AWESOME! ;_; 

Duo: Yeah! *sniff* I tear up just thinking about it *sniff*

Heero: Baka.

__

Wolf_Goddess : .... 

Trowa: Quit stealing my lines.

Quatre: ::pointed look::

Trowa: ….it's a line. Really.

__

Akito : I wanna go home already so we can finish that stupid new fic and be done with it!! 

Edward : Shuttup! Show respect in the face of Cherry-sama!! Inconsiderate bakana baka!!!! -_-;; 

Duo: ::cringes:: Uh oh.

Matteo: Muse abuse!! Muse abuse!! I'm calling the MPA on you.

Heero: The what?

Matteo: MPA. Muse Protection Agency.

Cherry Blossom: Teo-chan…we're on a satellite. There's no phones here.

Matteo: ….nuts. 

__

Akito : ;_; sorry *runs off bawling* 

Wolf_Goddess : Calm down Ed. I have problems with Sokoyo, but I don't verbally abuse her. O-. 

Ed: Huh? What? ...Anyway...TERRIFIC FIC!!!! ^_____________^ Edward enjoyed it very much! Yesh! 

Akito : *timidly approaches* I...uh...liked it as well. 

Wolf_Goddess : And me also. 

Trowa: I'm glad somebody enjoyed themselves.

Quatre: ::pointed look::

Trowa: No really!! I'm glad!! No sarcasm this time.

Duo: Suuure.

__

Edward : But my review wasn't there ;_; O well. *hands everyone Flower Kiss candy and bite size pocky sticks sneaks Duo sake o-.* 

Wolf_Goddess : Hey!!! Duo : *guzzles it* 

Wolf_Goddess : NO! *runs off screaming* 

Duo: *hic* What? ::giggles:: Mmmm…I like this drink!!

Cherry Blossom: ::sigh:: How come one of us always ends up getting drunk at the beginning of the episode? And it's never ME!

Quatre: I've never gotten drunk.

Trowa: Beg to differ.

Quatre: I've never!!

Trowa: New Year's Eve episode.

Quatre: …..it wasn't my fault. Duo spiked the punch.

Duo: SPIKE!! HehEHheheHE*hic*heHEHehehEHeheHee!!

Heero: ::presses a hand to his temple:: Why me…

__

Edward : Er... bai bai Cherry-sama, Teo-chan, Duo-kun *blows kiss* 

Duo :OoOoOohHhh...kIsSes... 

Edward : o_. Er... 

*BTW Wolf_Goddess is my friend and a fan of CPT also. She has a registered account on FF.net but it'd be easier to review together so here's her segment. 

Wufei: What is this, a talk show?

Trowa: Cherry Jessie Rafael? 

Quatre: More like Cherry Springer.

Cherry Blossom: O.o Quatre!!? 

Quatre: ::shrugs::

__

Wolf_Goddess: Hey!!! Oh well * blows Duo kisses also* Duo is KAWAII!!!!! 

Duo: * blushes* MoRe KiSsEs.....*hic* 

Edward: MY DUO-KUN!! *leaps at Duo and holds him over protectively just like She-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named holds Heero* 

Duo : YaAAaAAAAAaaaAaAay! GiRRRliEss LIIkkee MmEeEe!!! ^____^ 

Wolf_Goddess: * finds vino* What is this? *drinks vino* Oh BuTtErFlIes....*hic*.... WaIt FoR mE!!!!! PrEtTy!!!

Cherry Blossom: That's it. I'm signing everybody up for AA classes.

Heero: Hi, my name's Heero and I'm a sexaholic.

Duo: ::spits out the mouthful of sake he's drinking:: Pffft!

Heero: ::deadpan:: What?

Duo: I must be reaaaaally drunk.

Quatre: Nope. I heard it too.

Duo: Do you think _he's_ really drunk?

Heero: Stop talking about me like I'm not here.

Duo: Stop being so OOC then.

Cherry Blossom: ::sigh:: Let's just get to the poems.

Snowgoogles: We got CRAP-SIGN!!!!

Duo: ::begins to freak out and run amuck as the theater doors open to reveal…::

::door sequence::

A normal looking door with no handle. Heero kicks it down and you walk through to see… A small yappy-type dog, named Caesar for some reason. Quatre plays with the dog until you drag him away to come to… A log dam. You smash through it and a bunch of beavers attack you. You fight them off and run away without watching where you are going and slam into… A big steel door. You curse at it until it falls over to reveal… 

1) A tapestry displaying a scene of all five gundams standing beside their respective pilots under the full moon. You pull it aside and enter… 

The Theater

****

Crappy Poem Theater (this time it's personal)

Cherry Blossom: You still haven't changed the title phrase?

Matteo: Oops. Knew I forgot something.

Duo: I like it. 

Heero: You would.

Duo: Beeedah!

Cherry Blossom: Disclaimer first!

Disclaimer: J J J I got a hug!!! J J J 

Cherry Blossom: -_-;; Look, I don't own GW. Let's just get on with it.

Wufei: Enthusiasm!!!

Everybody: O.o;;;

Duo: The pod people have Wufei too!! Lucky bastard!!

Cherry Blossom: You shall be happy to know that today's poet is….CANADIAN!!!!

G-Boyz: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom: BwAHWahAwaHwAhawAHWwhahwa!!! Yessssss, we haven't had a good old plug for my native land for a while now.

Wufei: This is a plug? I doubt anyone will want to come to the frozen north after you plague them with the region's worst poetry.

Cherry Blossom: ::glares at Wufei:: Oh Jezebel…

Jezebel: ::growls::

Wufei: Eh heh heh…nevermind. Plug away!

Cherry Blossom: ^__^ Let's start Teo-chan.

Matteo: Ahem…

__

If It Were Spring

Duo: But it _is_ spring.

Trowa: Almost summer actually.

Wufei: Who cares?

__

By Leonard Cohen

Duo: Didn't he write songs or something?

Heero: ::shrugs::

__

If it were Spring

Trowa: Yes, we all read the title.

__

and I killed a man,

Everybody: O.o o.O O.O wha…?

__

I would change him to leaves

and hang him from a tree,

Heero: That's not practical. You should get rid of the body by burning it or burial so you are not discovered.

Duo: Or you could blow it up! ^__^

Quatre: Remember to apologize first.

Wufei: Spear them with a katana!

Trowa: ///_- …I don't know any of them. Really.

__

a tree in a grove

at the edge of a dune,

where small beasts came

to flee the sun.

Duo: And eat the rotting hanging man.

Quatre: Ewwwwwwww!

Cherry Blossom: Duo…

Duo: What?

__

Wind would make him

part of song,

and rain would cling

like tiny crystal worlds

Wufei: This poem wouldn't be so bad…

Trowa: If it weren't for the fact that the guy's taking about killing somebody and hanging them in a tree.

Wufei: Exactly.

__

upon his branch

of leaf green skies,

and he would bear the dance

of fragile bone,

Duo: Pfft. The Fragile Bone Dance? That won't get you laid in a club. 

Everybody: ::stares at Duo::

Duo: …..not that I know from experience or anything.

__

brush of wings

against his maps of arteries,

and turn up a yellow-stomached flag

to herald the touring storm.

O my victim,

you would grow your season

as I grew mine,

under the spell of growth,

Duo: ….with growing things that grow with growth and in growing they may grow—

Heero: Shut. Up. 

Wufei: Does anyone else think that this guy's on crack?

__

an instrument

Quatre: ::perks up:: Violin? Piano? I can play them all! Oooh, Trowa, maybe we'll get the chance to do another duet!!

Trowa: ….

__

of the blue sky,

an instrument of the sun,

a palm above the dark, splendid eyes.

What language the city will hear

because of your death,

Wufei: Language like "HOLY #$#%# THERE'S A #$^#$%# DEAD BODY IN THE TREE!!"

__

anguish explain,

sorrow relieve.

Everywhere I see

the world waiting you,

the pens raised, walls prepared,

hands hung above strings and keys.

Trowa: Because once again, time has stopped.

Duo: Heero must have made a complete sentence or something.

Heero: ::glares:: Hn.

__

And come Autumn

I will spin a net

between your height and earth

to hold your crisp parts.

Quatre: Uh…what parts are those?

Cherry Blossom: I don't think we want to know.

__

In the fields and orchards

it must be turning Spring,

look at the faces

clustered around mine.

Trowa: Sneezing, eyes watering, face red with hay fever…yep, must be Spring.

__

And I hear

the irrefutable argument of hunger

whispered, spoken, shouted,

but never sung.

Heero: Good. No singing.

Cherry Blossom: We could sing something about Cana—

G-Boyz: NO!!

Cherry Blossom: Sheesh, ya don't have to bite my head off.

__

I will kill a man this week;

before this week is gone

I will hang him to a tree,

I will see this mercy done.

Duo: Er…okaaay…

Cherry Blossom: Drug induced much?

Heero: ::sings:: If you've never seen an elephant ski then you've never been on acid.

Everybody: O.o

Duo: What did I tell you? Pod people.

Cherry Blossom: Next poem please! Also by Leonard Cohen.

Quatre: There's more?

__

Dead Song

Wufei: Please don't let Maxwell sing. As much as I'd like to rejoin my Nataku…I want to go honorably in battle.

Duo: ::offended:: Heeeeeey!

__

As I lay dead

In my love-soaked bed,

Quatre: ::looks green:: Your _what_ soaked bed?

Cherry Blossom: ::hums the chorus to "Liquid Dreams"::

Wufei: Don't people write poetry about trees and nature anymore?

Duo: Sure they do! Remember the Pretty Pink Flower poem?

Heero: ::pales:: P-pretty….p-pink….PINK!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Duo: Oops.

Quatre: Duo! You know he's sensitive about…that colour.

Duo: Sorry. 

__

Angels came to kiss my head.

Duo: ::leers:: Which head? *thwhap* ITAI!

Cherry Blossom: NO BAKA HENTAI!!!

Wufei: ::crumples up the one word coupon:: That takes care of that. 

__

I caught own gown

And wrestled her down

Duo: It's the Undertaker vs. The Rock in this heated match!! Which one will win?

Wufei: I can't believe you watch that crap.

Duo: Says the man who watches Survivor. 

__

To be my girl in death town.

She will not fly.

She has promised to die.

What a clever corpse am I !

Trowa: Smart but dead.

Quatre: Does that mean this poem was written by a ghost?

Duo: ::wiggles fingers in a ghostly way:: OooOooOOoooh! CrApPiNeSs fRoM bEyOnD tHe GrAvE!!!

Heero: Cut that out baka.

Cherry Blossom: That was short. Better throw in one more poem for good measure.

G-Boyz: ::groan::

Cherry Blossom: I think this one is the worst yet. ^__^

__

Inquiry into the Nature of Cruelty

Trowa: University thesis?

Cherry Blossom: Not even close.

Wufei: Well the title sounds intelligent at least. It can't be that bad.

Duo: Wanna bet?

__

A moth drowned in my urine,

Quatre: …..excuse me?

Trowa: //.o ….well. That was unexpected.

Heero: Interesting opening line.

Wufei: ::looks sick:: You have a keen affinity for stating the obvious Yuy.

Heero: Hn.

Duo: Someone wrote a poem about THIS?

Cherry Blossom: Apparently.

__

his powered body finally satin.

My eyes gleamed in the porcelain

like tiny dancing crematoria.

Quatre: Crematoria don't dance.

Heero: ::sings:: If you've never seen crematoria dance then you've never been on acid.

Duo: …..that's it. Yuy's officially lost his mind. The poems have finally done him in.

Wufei: And all it took was a pee-covered insect.

Trowa: Could we please avoid that topic?

Cherry Blossom: Why? We're still in the poem.

Trowa: I was trying to forget about that. 

__

History is on my side, I pleaded,

as the drain drew circles in his wings.

Duo: Why the hell is this guy talking to a moth he just peed on???

Cherry Blossom: You're asking ME?

Wufei: You're the Canadian.

Cherry Blossom: I've never peed on a moth, I promise.

Quatre: ::trying not to be sick::

__

(Had he not been bathed in urine

I'd have rescued him to dry in the wind.)

Duo: Well whoopty-frikken-doo!! What does this guy want, a medal? Sheesh.

Heero: What was the point of that poem?

Wufei: ::covers his mouth with his hand:: To make us all throw up. If you'll excuse me, I must use the lavatories.

Trowa: Watch out for moths.

Wufei: ::glares:: Shut up Barton.

Trowa: ///_^

Duo: Guy must have had pretty good aim, getting a moth in one shot…

Quatre: ::now REALLY green:: Duo!! ::follows Wufei to the restroom to barf::

Duo: What? What'd I say?

Heero: ::shakes head:: Baka.

::doors open::

Duo: ::runs for them like a bat out of hell:: THE MOTHS ARE ATTACKING!!!!

Heero: It's times like this I wish I had succeeded in self-destruction.

Cherry Blossom: I need a stiff drink. Let's raid the wine cellar.

Trowa: We have a wine cellar?

Cherry Blossom: Trieze-sama sends me a bottle every so often. I stash them away for moments like this.

Duo: WiNe FrOM BeYoNd ThE gRaVe?

Cherry Blossom: Just for that, you're not getting any.

Duo: Smeg.

~ SCOB ~

Snowgoggles: Welcome back! Where's Quatre and Wufei?

Duo: They had to go review outputs.

Snowgoggles: ……

Duo: Do the technicolor yawn?

Snowgoggles: ……

Duo: They had to spew.

Snowgoggles: Oh. Was it really that bad?

Wufei: ::appears looking pale and unhappy:: Worse.

Quatre: ::follows after, holding a wet rag to his forehead:: I think I need to lie down. Hey…do you guys smell something burning?

Cherry Blossom: ::frowns:: *sniff* *sniff* …….DILLY!!!

Heero: Uh oh.

Dilly: ::frying the control panel with a flame thrower:: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!!! YES LOVELY!!!!!!

Duo: How did he get out of the rubber room?

Cherry Blossom: Farfie must have slipped him a knife the last time he was here. We've got to get him away from the controls!! Heero, you tackle him!!

Heero: Why me?

Cherry Blossom: ::glares::

Heero: Fine. Be ready to grab the flamethrower as soon as I've got him on the ground.

Dilly: BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRR—urk! ::is tackled to the ground by Heero::

Duo: Quickly!

Trowa: ::grabs the flamethrower::

Dilly: No more burn? ::pouts::

Cherry Blossom: Bad Dilly! No biscuit!

Snowgoogles: Uh Cherry?

Cherry Blossom: Yeeeeeees?

Snowgoogles: We have a slight problem here.

Cherry Blossom: What?

Snowgoogles: There's a comet heading right for us. And the controls are melted.

Cherry Blossom: …..smeg.

Matteo: We're all gonna die!!!

Duo: ::runs amuck, panicking:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Heero: Hn. Baka.

To Be Continued….


	14. Crappy Poem Theater 14

Crappy Poem Theater

Slow zoom to a lemon shaped satellite that is about to collide with a comet.  Emblazoned on the main entrance door is a large pink Cherry Blossom flower, with feather quills crossed over it like a coat of arms. You enter the satellite to be immediately confronted by a strange recording of Masterpiece Theater Theme played on a kazoo. You step into the control room where you find a bunch of people running amuck and the smoldering remains of what used to be flight controls.

Duo:  We'regonnadiewe'regonnadiewe'regonnadieCRAP!!!!  ::runs around insanely::

Snowgoogles:  Er…Cherry, isn't there any way you can zap us out of here?

Cherry Blossom:  If I could, don't you think I'd have done it already?  My authoress powers won't work once I'm outside the SOCB and I don't relish having my blood boiled out in the vacuum of space.  Besides which, I'm all tapped out of power since I whipped up those UltraChocolateFudge Sundaes for us at lunch.

Duo:  ::stops running amuck to rub his stomach::  Man, those were some good sundaes!

Heero:  ::smacks Duo in the back of the head::

Duo:  OW!  What did you do that for?!

Heero:  Baka.

Quatre:  ::nervously::  So what do we do?

Cherry Blossom:  ::grins sheepishly::  Pray?

Heero:  But I don't believe in God.

Snowgoogles:  There are no atheists in foxholes.

Heero:  What the hell are you talking about?

Wufei:  This is ridiculous!  I refuse to die in such a stupid way.

Trowa:  Well in that case, I'm sure the comet will make an exception for you, Wufei.

Matteo:  Don't we have weapons or something so we can blow the comet up before we hit it?

Cherry Blossom:  Not since second episode where the censors took all our goodies.  Except Dilly's flamethrower, that is.  Wonder why they missed that?

Dilly:  Burn?

Snowgoogles:  Good question.  Can we use the flamethrower on the comet?

Heero:  Wouldn't do any good.

Matteo:  Damn.

Duo:  ::resumes freaking out::  We'regonnadiewe'regonnadieohshitwe'regonnadieCRAP!

Snowgoogles:  Ten seconds to impact!

Quatre:  Cherry!

Cherry Blossom:  ::shakes zapping finger::  I'm trying!  I'm trying!  It's just no use…

Snowgoogles:  Five seconds!

Trowa:  Let's look at it this way………no more poems.

Everybody:  ::pauses to consider that::

Snowgoogles:  Brace yourselves everybody!

_Cut to outside the satellite where you see a large comet hit the side of the SOCB.  The satellite compresses slightly, like someone poking a balloon, and then the comet bounces right off the side and sails off in the other direction, harmlessly._

_Back inside the SOCB control room………_

Heero:  ::blink::  What the hell was _that?_

Trowa:  It was anti-climactic, whatever it was.

Snowgoogles:  The comet…it just…bounced.  It bounced right off us.  Like we were invincible or something.

Cherry Blossom:  ::snaps fingers::  Oooh, that's right!  I comet-proofed the place last winter as part of my yearly upgrade.  Forgot all about it.

Duo:  I'm not dead?  ::hugs himself::  I'm NOT DEAD!!!  BOO-YAH GRANDMA!!!

Wufei:  ::twitches::  You mean we got all upset about this idiotic comet………for NOTHING?!

Snowgoogles:  Well, I wouldn't say for _nothing_ exactly……….  The controls are still melted so there's no way to steer if something else comes in our path.

Cherry Blossom:  Well my authoress powers have to kick in again sometime.  I bet the whole crash scenario was a metaphor anyway.

Quatre:  Huh?

Matteo:  You know; a metaphor.

Quatre:  A metaphor for what?

Matteo:  Fanfiction.net getting rid of all MST fiction.

::sounds of fourth wall breaking::

Cherry Blossom:  Watch it.  Those walls are expensive.

Trowa:  So why are we still alive?  Didn't they get rid of MSTies after all?

Cherry Blossom:  Sure did.  But we're not in the MST section.  In fact, there's no mention of MST in the summary or the title, so we're safe from destruction.

Duo:  We got off on a technicality?

Cherry Blossom:  Basically…yes.

Duo:  Kewl.

Cherry Blossom:  So now that we're NOT in danger of dying, let's go to Reviewer's Corner and pick up our mail.

Trowa:  You just want presents.

Cherry Blossom:  Shut up, Clown boy.

**Reviewer's Corner**

Matteo:  ::carries in the Hat 'O Reviews::   Whose turn is it this time to pick the reviews?

Cherry Blossom:  Wufei's, I think.

Wufei:  Hmph.  ::sticks the end of his katana in the hat and spears several letters::  Here.  Read these ones.

Matteo:  D.D.04 writes,

_WELL! That last one was interesting enuf. *blinkys* My sympathies to all the boys. (specially Hee-chan i think he's sick er sumthin)_

Duo:  Oh, he's sick all right.  Do you know he actually _likes_ sardines on his pizza?  SICK.

Heero:  ::glares::  Hn.

Cherry Blossom:  He's right Heero.  Fish on your pizza is just not normal.  If fish is going in Italian food it better darn well be in pasta.

_ Present time! English tea for Q-man, Katana polish for Fei, new hair gel for Trowa, _

Trowa:  ::pushes floppy bangs to the side::  Thanks, I was running low and we're all out of superglue.

_bottle__ o' paxil for Heero, BIG box o' pocky for Duo. Really Big bottle o' random drink mixed up for Cherry-chan, _

Cherry Blossom:  Awesome! Random drink!  ::downs the bottle in one gulp and bleches loudly::  Random drink.  For when you just can't bother to be relevant.

Heero: Oooh, paxil!  

Duo:  ::mimics the Ramones::  I wanna be sedated!

Wufei:  PLEASE stop with the 80s punk music!  One brush with death is all I can afford today.

Trowa:  And we've still got poems to get through.

Wufei:  ::twitches::  Do you mind, Barton?  I was trying to forget about that.

Trowa:  ::shrugs::

_packet__ of matches for Dilly (BUUUURRRNNN), and a soda for Teo-chan. 'scuse me, I need to go kill someone-who-must-not-be-named_

Lord Voldemort:  ::pops into the SOCB looking extremely surprised::  **What the—**

Duo:  Ew!  Evil snake maaaaaaan!  ::pauses::  Nice robes though.  

Cherry Blossom:  Hey, my powers are back!

Trowa:  See my unmitigated joy.  Clap hands.  Skip about.  Frolic.

Lord Voldemort:  ::glares::  **Tell me who you are before I curse you all into oblivion.**

Cherry Blossom:  Don't stress yourself out Voldie.  Wrong storyline, okay?  Say hi to Sev for me!  ::wiggles her fingers and pops Voldemort out of the SOCB::

Wufei:  Must you always have evil villain cameos?

Cherry Blossom:  Best kind.

_ in another ficcy, Have, er, Fun? not the right word eh?_

Trowa:  How bout "try not to rip your arms off and club yourself senseless with the disembodied limbs as you listen to horrible poetry" instead?  

Quatre:  Trowa…

Trowa:  What?

Quatre:  That was gross.

Trowa:  ::looks slightly proud of himself::

_ well, I'm tired so layoff. _

Cherry Blossom:  No, not the pink-slip of DOOM!  You can't fire me!   I quit!

Heero:  What was in that random drink anyway?

Trowa:  Let's hope arsenic.

Cherry Blossom:  I heard that *hic*.

_Bye Cherry-chan! U must go work on Three Little Words and Making Heero Human or else u face the wrath of my cat Snowball! *snowball appears* Snowball:: *blinkies* Mrow? *drools* D.D.04:: Okay... See how ferocious he is! *sweatdrops* uh yah. Ja Ne!_

Cherry Blossom:  Unfortunately, Making Heero Human seems to be permanently on hiatus, while Three Small Words is at a somewhat conclusive part right now.

Matteo:  Which means it isn't a cliffhanger at the moment.

Cherry Blossom:  Shush, you.

Heero:  I hate those stories.  I'm always being tortured in your fics.

Duo:  Welcome to the club.

Wufei:  Ha ha.  I'm hardly ever tortured in fanfics.

Trowa:  Just attacked by feminist fangirls.

Wufei:  Shut up, Barton.

Matteo:  Next letter!  Jade writes,

_No more CPT? NO! SAY IT AIN'T SO!_

Duo:  ::sings::  I will not go!  Turn the lights off!  Carry me home!  Na na na na na na na na na na, na na na—OW!  ::rubs head::  Heero!

Heero:  No singing.

_ Waitaminute......... *brightens* I've got an idea! *holds up a piece of paper attached to a clipboard* _

Trowa:  We'll all go into telemarketing!

Wufei:  As horrible as it sounds, I'd rather read crappy poetry.

_PETITION! We'll start a petition! SAVE CPT! Oh, before I forget. I have something for Dilly. *pulls out stack of bad report cards and interim reports* Here. Enjoy yourself. Bye now! _

Dilly:  BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!  ::reports fry::  MuAHuahHUahUAhUAHUAhua!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom:  Someone really should take the flamethrower away from him before we have another accident.

Trowa:  Go right ahead and try.  I'll run and get the fire extinguisher.

Matteo:  Next letter is from Duck-K, the procrastinator.

_Oh Lenord Lenord Lenord……….._

Heero:  Duck, Duck, Duck………

Duo:  Goose!  ::whacks Wufei on the butt and runs away, laughing::

Wufei:  Why you—Maxwell!  Get back here!_  
Anyway, I hope this isn't the end of CPT. Who's going to make fun of poetry if you get pulled? Who's going to give the G boys pocky? (actually, there might still be people willing to do that ~hands out Almond Crunch Pocky~) _

Quatre:  Ooooh!  Almonds!

Trowa:  Sometimes you feel like a nut—

Quatre:  ::glares::  Finish that lyric and you're sleeping on the couch.

Trowa:  ………_  
  
_

_And if this is The End your crappy poetry will live on in spirit (unfortunately)_

Cherry Blossom:  Unfortunately?  These guys LOVE being here at the SOCB, doncha guys!

G-Boys:  ::open their mouths to protest violently::

Jezebel the lethal kitty:  ::growls::

G-Boyz:  Close their mouths and smile and nod.

Wufei:  ::holds up sign that says "help me!" in Chinese::

Matteo:  Next letter is from Lazerous.

Duo:  Wasn't he a dead guy from the Bible?

_Cherry-chan,  
  
Will you marry me? *_*  
  
--Lazerous_

Heero:  A dead guy from the Bible who's looking for a wife, apparently.

Cherry Blossom:  Er…can't we just be friends?  I'm not the marrying type.

Quatre:  What type are you?

Cherry Blossom:  The type that lives alone except for forty cats until they die.  And a couple of muses for good measure, of course.

Matteo:  Beck writes,

_Cherry......?  
  
Are you related to god?  
  
I love you. ^.^_

Cherry Blossom:  I'm god's roommate's friend's mother's second cousin, twice removed.

Heero:  Which means?

Cherry Blossom:  No.

Matteo:  Zelda writes,

_Ahh__, the swingin' hep-cat that is Leonard Cohen._ You boys are lucky that Cherry is a merciful authoress and only made you read the poems. You could have had to listen to Cohen SINGING these *gack* works of art.__

Heero:  ::glares::  No singing.

_ (shudders at the memory of her high-school English project and would offer it to Dilly for ritual immolation except that she took care of that herself long ago)  
  
And may I make the following Crappy Poetry Proposal, inspired by Duo? (Duo: ….with growing things that grow with growth and in growing they may grow— ) Gertrude Stein wrote books and books of words arranged just so ......... ("Letting pin in letting let," "Pigeons on the grass alas," _

Duo:  Pigeons on the grass alas.  Pigeons on my ass the gass alas must pass.

Quatre:  STOP it.

_and__ my own personal favourite, "A saint a real saint never does anything, a martyr does something but a really good saint does nothing and so I wanted to have Four Saints that did nothing and I wrote Four Saints in Three Acts and they did nothing and that was everything. Generally speaking anybody is more interesting doing nothing than doing anything.")_

Wufei:  ………huh?_  
  
And on that note -- farewell and best of luck with future episodes of CPT!_

Cherry Blossom:  And on THAT note, let's start the poems.

G-Boys:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cherry Blosssom:  Damn, but I miss those screams.

Snowgoogles:  We got CRAP-SIGN!!!!

Duo: ::begins to freak out and run amuck as the theater doors open to reveal…::

::door sequence::

A thick stained glass panels that swings open to reveal…

The door of an extremely pink limousine.  You drag Heero kicking and screaming past the door and into…

A large shoji screen with cherry blossoms painted all over it.  You knock over the screen and see…

A door with a giant metal snake coiled around it.  The snake hisses and swallows you whole.  As you tumble down its throat to find yourself facing…

A tapestry displaying a scene of all five gundams standing beside their respective pilots under the full moon. You pull it aside and enter… 

The Theater

**Crappy Poem Theater (It's baaa-aaack)**

Duo:  Whew!  That was some trip.

Wufei:  ::looking faintly green::  Why did it have to be snakes?

Heero:  How many pop-cultures references can we fit into one episode?

Trowa:  A lot.

Cherry Blossom:  Oh, disclaimer person! 

Disclaimer:  ::monotone::  You rang?  Cherry Blossom does not own Gundam Wing.  For which we are all extremely thankful.

Cherry Blossom: Hey!

Trowa:  What's on the torture schedule for today?

Cherry Blosssom:  Modernist poetry.

Quatre:  Modernist?

Cherry Blossom:  D.H. Lawrence, to be precise.  He wrote poetry about nature and its beauty, mostly.

Wufei:  That doesn't sound too bad.

Cherry Blossom:  He wasn't a bad poet.  Except that the subject matter for this poem is, uh, strange.

Quatre:  How strange?

Cherry Blossom:  Well…it's about turtles—

Duo:  Turtles are okay.

Cherry Blossom:  —having sex.

Wufei:  O.0

Trowa:  O.0

Quatre:  O.0

Heero:  O.0

Duo:  O.0   Turtles are definitely NOT okay!

Wufei:  Why, oh why did I get out of bed this morning?

Cherry Blossom:  Hey, if I had to read it and write a four page essay on it then you have to read it.

Heero:  Why should we be tortured for your inability to pick good English classes?

Cherry Blossom:  ::glare::  Don't make me get Jez.

Heero:  Hn.

Cherry Blossom:  Well, let's get on with it.

Matteo:  Ahem…

**_TORTOISE SHOUT_******

Duo:  LIZARD WHIMPER.

Wufei:  CROUCHING TIGER, HIDDEN DRAGON.

Heero:  Does this mean the poem has subtitles?

**_by_****_: D.H. Lawrence (1885-1930)_**

Duo:  Well at least we know he's dead.  ::steals some of Cherry's popcorn::

Cherry Blossom:  ::glares::  Along with chivalry, apparently.

Duo:  ::mouth full::  What?

**_I thought he was dumb,_**

Wufei:  It's a common mistake upon meeting Maxwell.

Duo:  HEY!

Wufei:  What?  I said it was a mistake.  That's a compliment.

Duo:  ::looks slightly suspicious::  Ri-ight.

**_I said he was dumb,_**

**_Yet I've heard him cry._**

**_First faint scream,_**

**_Out of life's unfathomable dawn,_**

Trowa:  Unfathomable Dawn; for when your other dishsoap is just too shallow to get the job done.

Cherry Blossom:  You are weird, you know that?

Trowa:  ^_^

**_Far off, so far, like a madness, under the horizon's dawning rim,_**

**_Far, far off, far scream._**

Duo:  It's far, get it?  Really far, with the length and the distance and being not close and all that.  It's the farthest scream ever.  It's farther then—

Heero:  Duo.

Duo:  Yeah Hee-chan?

Everybody:  SHUT UP.

Duo:  Sheesh.  Crab-bee.

**_Tortoise in extremis._**__****

Cherry Blossom:  2EXTREME TURTLES!!!  They're like, totally tubular turtles dude.

Trowa:  Heroes in a half-shell.

Duo:  TURTLE POWER!

Heero:  -_-;  No.  More.  Pop.  Culture. References.

**_Why were we crucified into sex?_**

Quatre:  ::blinks::  Uh………

Duo:  Ooh!  Oooh!  I know!!  Pick me!  Pick me!  ::whap::  Ow!

Cherry Blossom:  NO BAKA HENTAI!

Trowa:  But Cherry, this is a poem about turtles having sex.

Wufei:  He has a point.

**_Why were we not left rounded off, and finished in ourselves,_**

**_As we began,_**

**_As he certainly began, so perfectly alone?_****__**

**_A far, was-it-audible scream,_**

**_Or did it sound on the plasm direct?_**

Quatre:  The what?  What's a plasm direct?

Heero:  Sounds like a long-distance phone company.

Wufei:  Didn't he just say that he heard the tortoise scream?  Wouldn't it _have_ to be audible?

Trowa:  Wufei………

Wufei:  What?

Trowa:  Smile and nod.

**_Worse than the cry of the new-born,_**

Duo:  Ain't much that's more horrible then the sound of new life being brought into the world.

**_A scream,_**

**_A yell,_**

**_A shout,_**

**_A pæan,_**

**_A death-agony,_**

**_A birth-cry,_**

**_A submission,_**

Duo:  A shriek!

Cherry Blossom:  A bellow!

Wufei:  A yowl!

Heero:  A howl!

Quatre:  An outcry!

Trowa:  A hullabaloo!

Everyone:  ………

Quatre:  A hullabaloo?

Trowa:  What?

**_All tiny, tiny, far away, reptile under the first dawn._**

**_War-cry, triumph, acute-delight, death-scream reptilian,_**

**_Why was the veil torn?_**

**_The silken shriek of the soul's torn membrane?_****__**

**_The male soul's membrane_**

Wufei:  ::flatly::  Oh well, I'm glad you cleared that up.  I thought you were talking about the female soul's membrane.  It's all so much clearer now.

**_Torn with a shriek half music, half horror._****__**

**_Crucifixion._****__**

**_Male tortoise, cleaving behind the hovel-wall of that dense female,_**

Duo:  Uh oh.  Things are getting graphic over here.

Quatre:  My virgin eyes!!

Cherry Blossom:  Hold onto your air-sick bags kids, it gets worse.

**_Mounted and tense, spread-eagle, out-reaching out of the shell_**

**_In tortoise-nakedness,_**

Duo:  Bet ya can't say that ten times fast.

**_Long neck, and long vulnerable limbs extruded, spread-eagle over her house-roof,_**

**_And the deep, secret, all-penetrating_**

Everybody:  AAAAAUUUUUUGH!!!!

**_tail_****__**

Everybody:  Phew.

Duo:  Hey, what if that's just a metaphor for his—

Everybody:  SHUT UP!!

**_curved_****_ beneath her walls,_**

**_Reaching and gripping tense, more reaching anguish in uttermost tension_**

**_Till suddenly, in the spasm of coition, tupping like a jerking leap, and oh!_**

Wufei:  Oh my God, I'm going to be sick.

Quatre:  ::whimpers::

Cherry Blossom:  How do you think I feel?  I had to read this out loud.  In class.

Duo:  Turtle porn.  That ranks right up there on the list of things I never thought I'd see, right next to Wufei in a dress and Quatre working at McDonalds.

**_Opening its clenched face from his outstretched neck_**

**_And giving that fragile yell, that scream,_**

**_Super-audible,_**

Wufei:  So now it's super-audible.

Cherry Blossom:  Of course.  'Cause these are 2EXTREME TURTLES!!!

Heero:  More like XXX Turtles.

**_From his pink, cleft, old-man's mouth,_**

**_Giving up the ghost,_**

**_Or screaming in Pentecost, receiving the ghost._****__**

Duo:  I think that's a metaphor for—

Everybody:  WE KNOW.

**_His scream, and his moment's subsidence,_**

**_The moment of eternal silence,_**

**_Yet unreleased, and after the moment, the sudden, startling jerk of coition, and at once_**

**_The inexpressible faint yell—_**

Wufei:  It was super, it was faint……….make up your mind!

**_And so on, till the last plasm of my body was melted back_**

**_To the primeval rudiments of life, and the secret._****__**

Quatre:  The secret is never to watch turtle porn.  EVER.

**_So he tups, and screams_**

**_Time after time that frail, torn scream_**

**_After each jerk, the longish interval,_**

**_The tortoise eternity,_**

**_Agelong_****_, reptilian persistence,_**

**_Heart-throb, slow heart-throb, persistent for the next spasm._**__****

Wufei:  Who stands around to watch turtles fuck?

Duo:  Steve the Crocodile Hunter.

Heero:  No, he doesn't watch.  He just pokes them with a stick.

**_I remember, when I was a boy,_**

**_I heard the scream of a frog, which was caught with his foot in the mouth of an up-starting snake;_**

Trowa:  ::yawn::  That's nice.

**_I remember when I first heard bull-frogs break into sound in the spring;_**

**_I remember hearing a wild goose out of the throat of night_**

**_Cry loudly, beyond the lake of waters;_**

**_I remember the first time, out of a bush in the darkness, a nightingale's piercing cries and gurgles startled the depths of my soul;_**

**_I remember the scream of a rabbit as I went through a wood at _****_midnight_****_;_**

Cherry Blossom:  Most of this guy's poems have to do with screaming rabbits.

Duo:  And pornographic turtles?

Cherry Blossom:  And pornographic turtles.

**_I remember the heifer in her heat,_**

Wufei:  For God's sake man!  Can you talk of nothing but animals having sex?

**_blorting_****_ and blorting_**

Duo:  ::blorts::  Excuse me.

Cherry Blossom:  Hey, go outside if you're going to do that!

Duo:  I had tacos for dinner.

**_through_****_ the hours, persistent and irrepressible;_**

**_I remember my first terror hearing_**

Quatre:  A poem about turtles having sex.

**_the_****_ howl of weird, amorous cats;_**

Wufei:  Cats, cows, turtles………are there any animals' sex life he doesn't write about?

Cherry Blossom:  Well I think he has one about whales………no wait, they have sex in that one too.

Wufei:  ::weeps::

**_I remember the scream of a terrified, injured horse, the sheet-lightning_**

**_And running away from the sound of a woman in labor,_**

Duo:  Run from the pregnant lady!  Run!  She wants all your pickles and ice cream!!

**_something_****_ like an owl whooing,_**

**_And listening inwardly to the first bleat of a lamb,_**

**_The first wail of an infant,_**

**_And my mother singing to herself,_**

**_And the first tenor singing of the passionate throat of a young collier, who has long since drunk himself to death,_**

**_The first elements of foreign speech_**

**_On wild dark lips._****__**

**_And more than all these,_**

**_And less than all these,_**

Trowa:  More or less.

Quatre:  Less please!

**_This last,_**

**_Strange, faint coition yell_**

**_Of the male tortoise at extremity,_**

**_Tiny_**

Duo:  Hey Mr. Tortoise, I think he just insulted the size of your—

Cherry Blossom:  DUO!

Duo:  Feet.  What?  ::blinks innocently::  What did you think I was going to say?

**_from_****_ under the very edge of the farthest far-off horizon of life._**

**_The cross,_**

**_The wheel on which our silence first is broken,_**

**_Sex, which breaks up our integrity,_**

Heero:  Riiiight.

**_our_****_ single inviolability, our deep silence_**

Quatre:  He's got a point there.  Trowa can never keep quiet when we—

Trowa:  ::slaps a hand over Quatre's mouth::

Heero:  When you what, Trowa?

Trowa:  When we do our dry-cleaning.  Yessir, I can never keep my mouth shut when we do the dry-cleaning.

Quatre: ::glares::  Mmmph mmmph!

Trowa:  And if someone ever wants to do the dry-cleaning with me again then they'll _shut up now._

Quatre:  ::is quiet::

**_Tearing a cry from us._****__**

**_Sex,_**

Heero:  Drugs!

Duo:  Rock and Roll!

Cherry Blossom:  In that order please.

Wufei:  You people are perverts.

**_which_****_ breaks us into voice, sets us calling across the deeps, calling, calling for the complement,_**

**_Singing, and calling, and singing again,_**

Duo:  And singing and calling and singly really loudly and far away, so far away that the farthest—OW!

Heero:  I warned you.

**_being_****_ answered, having found._**

**_Torn,_**

Trowa:  If you're careful with the lube, that doesn't happen.

Cherry Blossom:  TROWA!

Quatre:  ::sulks:: Oh sure, you can talk about lubrication but I can't talk about how you sound in be—

Trowa:  ::slaps hand over Quatre's mouth::  Becky's Drycleaners, yessiree.  I sound really loud in Becky's drycleaners.

**_to_****_ become whole again, after long seeking for what is lost,_**

**_The same cry from the tortoise as from Christ,_**

Duo:  Let me get this straight:  you're comparing the cry of Jesus on the cross to the sound a tortoise makes when it climaxes.

Heero:  Seems to be.

Duo:  That is just wrong.

**_the_****_ Osiris-cry of abandonment,_**

**_That which is whole, torn asunder,_**

**_That which is in part, finding its whole again throughout the universe._****__**

Wufei:  Thank Nataku!  It's over!

Duo:  They make you read this shit in school?

Cherry Blossom:  It's………modernist.  It's supposed to be weird.

Quatre:  ::looks a little sick::  That went way beyond the boundaries of weird.

::doors open::

Duo: ::runs for them like a bat out of hell::  PORN TURTLES ATTACKING!!!  THEY BURN MY RETINAS!!!

Dilly:  Burn?

Cherry Blossom:  Not you.  You've caused enough trouble for today.

Heero:  Where's my paxil?

Wufei:  I think Quatre already drained the bottle.

Heero:  WHAT?

Quatre:  ::giggles:  Wow.  I feel sooooooo relaxed.  

Heero:  You're a dead man Winner.

Quatre:  Awww, Heero.  You're so cute!  Wanna take me to the dry-cleaners?

Trowa:  HEY!

Heero:  ::backs away from the scary Quatre::  Uh………gottagobye!  ::runs out the doors::

Cherry Blossom:  This is going to be an interesting night.  

~ SCOB ~

Snowgoggles:  Well, how was the poem?

Quatre:  It was horrible.

Wufei:  Hentai.

Heero:  Weirdly sacrilegious.

Trowa:  It had turtles in it.

Snowgoogles:  ::frowns::  Well that doesn't seem that bad.

Trowa:  Turtles engaging in intercourse.

Snowgoogles:  O.o;   You've got to be kidding.

Trowa:  I only wish I was.

Snowgoogles:  Wishing that the comet hit us?

Heero:  What do _you_ think?

Cherry Blossom:  Oh come on.  You know you love being here.

Everybody:  ::glares at Cherry::

Cherry Blossom:  Eeep.  Matteo save me!

Matteo:  You're on your own.  That was the worst poem I've ever heard of.

Duo:  ::runs by screaming::  MY RETINAS!!!  THEY BURN!!!

Dilly:  ::runs after him::  BUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNNN!!!!!!

Cherry Blossom:  See?  Love it.

Everybody:  ::glares::

Cherry Blossom:  Well, see you next time folks.  Don't forget, send all crappy poetry submissions to chibicherryb@hotmail.com .

Byeee!


End file.
